Sunday, February 22, 2009


Hey All,

The Stump is pleased to announce an early retirement based on this email just received.



With respect to the above reference number, be informed for the last time that i want to list you as a beneficiary to a total sum of US$12,500.000 (Twelve Million, Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) in the codicil and last testament of a deceased client.(Name now withheld since we have sent several letters to you).

We are contacting you based on the fact that you bear the same last name identity with the deceased.

Legally you are qualified to receive these funds as the beneficiary with your surname identity. All the legal papers will be processed to facilitate the release of this money to you in line with our bank inheritance policies.

In your acceptance of claim of this money, we require you to send to us immediately, your full names as they are in your international passport, your current mobile telephone number, your fax number (must be a confidential fax) and your contact address to enable us file necessary documents at any probate court for the release of this money.

Kindly contact me so we can get this deal started and concluded immediately.

As soon as we get your details, we will turn update you with your claim proceedings.

Yours Faithfully,
Ronald Morris.

Note: This message is strictly for the addressed email bearer. if you have received in error kindly delete immediately and dis regard.We thank you for your cooperation.

Bit of a concern with 12 million at stake, Ronald needss to put the little reader in error note on the bottom but hey. Of course can't go just yet General OOMMACHILD BUGGERER'S daughter is sending me 10 Million to help her get her funds out of Nigera as well.. ah tis a wonderful world

Wednesday, February 18, 2009



Even the truest statement is not always true..This just plain funny..although the bit about black chicks is a worry?

February 17, 2009 09:30am

AMOROUS brush turkeys are raping chickens as their numbers rise in Brisbane and they look for a mate, a leading Queensland biologist says.
Griffith University Associate Prof Darryl Jones said the once-rare native brush turkey could go the way of the ibis and become a permanent fixture of the suburban environment.

But their increase in numbers might be bad news for other birds, Prof Jones, as they risked being attacked by the amorous turkeys.

"Bluntly, that's a form of rape," he said.

"Especially black chickens they seem to think 'oh well, these look close enough' and they'll mate with them."


Article from: Australian Associated Press

AL-QAEDA'S North Africa network has claimed responsibility for the abduction of two Canadian diplomats, one of them a UN envoy, and four European tourists in Niger, Al-Jazeera television reported.

"We are happy to bring our Islamic nation the good news of the mujahedeen's success in carrying out two quality operations in Niger," the group's spokesman Salah Abu Mohammed said in an audio tape aired on the Doha-based pan-Arab channel.

"(The mujahedeen) reserves the right to deal with the six captives under Islamic sharia (law)," said Mohammed, speaking for al-Qaeda of the Islamic Maghreb. AL-QAEDA'S North Africa network has claimed responsibility for the abduction of two Canadian diplomats, one of them a UN envoy, and four European tourists in Niger, Al-Jazeera television reported.

So much for the knuckled headed, weak kneed, surrender theory that

"gee if we would just talk to them" or its all the fault of big bad USA going into Iraq..never mind the fact the Bali cowards attacked pre-Iraq and Canada..sheesh what has she ever done to anyone.


Enemies of Reason and DOGSHIT

When the Stump was young (hey, it wasn’t that long ago) we did dumb things! Things such as:

Crawling across the roof of a speeding car, on a gravel road near the River Murray, to get to the boot and grab a beer for the driver;

Go to the weekly dance in the next valley wearing your home team’s football jumper;

Kiss HR’s (The school bully) girlfriend at the end of year school “social”;

Gate crash a party, start a fight with the mob, run to the car with your mate only to realise that you have left the car keys on the kitchen table.

Now we did those things but we knew they were dumb. Although we often did not anticipate how much it was really going to hurt..but Kissing HR’s girl friend was really really worth it.

However following some links in the world of blogdom is proving scary..Can OZ teenagers really be this bloody dumb? Some classics:

It’s a proven fact that the Holocaust didn’t happen:

Since I converted to Islam (?) I am a free woman and I want to live in an Islamic Country (Say like Saudi Arabia where women may not drive or perhaps Afghanistan where you run the risk of an acid attack for attending school?)?

Evolution should not be taught unless creationism is given equal billing in science classes?

Bugger me knuckle-heads! It's one thing to be stupid but you shouldn't abuse the privledge.

Ok lets clear some trash..

The Holocaust did happen The Nazi’s themselves, being good German list makers were good enough to provide names, dates, equipments used..Sheesh! even if you don’t want to believe the documented reports and pictures, research the Nazi's records then.

Women and Religion ..Whole segments of the female population are still currently fighting for their rights in all religions and some doe eyed, spoilt brat come sup with this crap!. By their very nature all religions are male dominated, cosy little clubs with little regard for female rights in particular.

Creationism....Give me a break!! Isn’t time to grow up and leave the fairies at the bottom of the garden behind. It ain't science never was never will be.

At least when we were acting dumb as dog shit we knew we were doing just that

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Ok this just made the Stump laugh:

Snipping from: Times Online

"A BRITISH nuclear submarine collided with a French sub in the Atlantic because sophisticated antisonar equipment made them undetectable to each other, it has been claimed."

Mmmm..So let's see, we have great swags of nuclear submarines wandering around the oceans blind....hmmm..Can't see anything going wrong with this plan?

And to keep us laughing:

A true (if not, it should be) story from the Mount Isa in Queensland.

Recently a routine Police patrol car parked outside a local neighbourhood pub.
Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles. The man managed to find his car, which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night). Then flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights.

He moved the vehicle forward a few cm, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left.
At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down the road.
The Police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a random breathalyser test.

To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man's intoxication.

The Police officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police station - this breathalyser equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy".

Friday, February 13, 2009


They say the death toll will reach 300 or more. It has been reported in Australian Media Death Toll includes two Indonesian Students

Thursday, February 12, 2009


Now the worst of the Bushfires are hopefully over in Australia, the ugly and depressing task of counting the costs must begin.

One issue that is becoming apparent and is bound to create controversy is the role irresponsible but politically correct green policies played in the disaster.

“One of Australia's leading bushfire experts, Rod Incoll, warned Nillumbik Shire Council in a 2003 report that it risked devastation if it went ahead with changes to planning laws proposed by green groups that restricted the removal of vegetation”

They did go ahead with the new regulations and there was devastation, cause and be the judge?

Unfortunately, the real keepers of the knowledge required to live and work in bushfire prone rural Australia are usually too busy trying to earn a living to bother with the inanities required to run for things like local council positions. The end result is often the self seeking, soy bean swilling, sea (tree) change seeking morons end up driving land use policies in a bush setting that are in effect a ticking time bomb of destruction.

Of course, any farmer or station owner could have told you 20 years ago that regular burning off, vegetation control, establishment of dams and other water storage points was the price to be paid to live on the land in Australia. However, the blood tick like infestation of "inner rural" areas by rabid greens and “hobby” farmers in Australia of the past 20 years has seen bitterly learned lessons gathered over generations disregarded as pseudo environmentalists ride roughshod over hard learnt bush university wisdom.

The insanity of overzealous rstrictions on burning off and on the construction of dams has definitely played a significant role the wholesale destruction of vast swathes of Australia.

And yet they ask why the Stump tends to treat the rabid greens with contempt.

More rabid green lunacy

For those too lazy to chase the link some selected quotes

.......David Packham, a former supervising meteorologist for fire weather nationwide at the Bureau of Meteorology, accused environmentalists of behaving like "eco-terrorists waging a jihad" against prescribed burning.

"The green movement is directly responsible for the severity of these fires through their opposition to prescribed burning,"


The federal Environment Department's spokeswoman declined to name the applicant behind the proposal to list controlled burning as a "key threatening process".

But bushfire consultant Chris Muller, a former fire officer with the Victorian and West Australian governments, said the proposal would make it even harder to carry out precautionary burn-offs to reduce fuel loads in forests.

"I am appalled that Minister Garrett (You remember him, washed up rock star and Labor Minister for Plastic Bags..Stump) would even contemplate an action that would remove or restrict the use of the only effective large bushfire mitigation tool -- prescribed burning," he said.

"The inevitable consequences of such action are disasters on the scale of that currently experienced in Victoria.

Friday, February 06, 2009


The Stumps old deep green lefty mate Jakartass
just cannot let go of the latest fantasty of the electric car as a viable option (option to what is transgender thing one suspects).. The Stump is sure this belief in fairys and electric cars is due to an ingestion of way too many mushrooms.

However to be fair, we sought out the lastest review of meanest, greeniest fanasty this month...

" (the) battery-powered Tesla sports car that I reviewed recently on Top Gear. Things didn’t go well. The company claimed it could run, even if driven briskly, for 200 miles, but after just a morning the battery power was down to 20%"

"Happily, the company had brought a second car along, so we switched to that. But after a while its motor began to overheat. And so, even though the first was not fully charged, we unplugged it — only to find that its brakes weren’t working properly. So then we had no cars."

" Tesla, when contacted by reporters, gave its account of what happened and it was exactly the same as ours. It explained that the brakes had stopped working because of a blown fuse and didn’t question at all our claim that the car would have run out of electricity after 55 miles."

Glad the Stump has kept the thunping V8 and thanks the numbnuts for bringing the price of fuel down. Speaking of fuel..

"wonky handling is nothing compared with this car’s big problems. First of all, it costs £90,000. This means it is three times more than the Lotus Elise"

"But if it’s running costs you are worried about, consider this. The £60,000 or so you save by buying an Elise would buy 15,000 gallons of fuel. Enough to take you round the world 20 times"

Catch the full article here ..rabid greens should only read in the company of a responsible adult..(sorry J)


Not surprisingly the infant idiot Prime Minister of Australia, Master Tintin Krudd has managed to turn a multi–billion dollar surplus into multi-billion dollar deficit. Although irresponsible welfare economics is a Australian Labor Party tradition, Master Krudd looks set to break a Labor Party personal best and eclipse the historical giant of economic mismanagement Gough (My wife can kickstart Jumbo jets) Whitlam.

Let’s do a quick review of some Kruddy Labor Classics..
“The inflation genie is out of the bottle”

“I am an economic conservative”

And now..

The Krudd is a “social democrat” who hates “neo-liberalism” (WTF is that?) who wants a “new contract for the future” that makes “the role of the state . . . fundamental in the economy”..(scary little lunatic).

Anyway when the Krudd and Krudettes finally woke up there was something serious going on. With maximum fanfare and minimal substance the Kruddettes put down their earwax eating utensils and leapt into a stimulus (?) package granting free cash, pink home insultation batts and computer games to all and sundry. Strangely enough, this didn't stimulate anything or anyone expect for Joan the single mom with five kids to four fathers.

Contrary to the belief of the raving leftists and welfare troughers governments do not make money they merely distribute other people’s earnings, someone, sometime, somewhere has to pay the piper. You keep sapping the ones generating the wealth, then one day the reality hits home there is no more and gee the country goes broke and gravy train stops.

This is exactly what has happened the world over, at one end you have the parasite mutant accountants and bank bosses playing games with money other people have earned with their sweat and tears and at the other end you have the serial unemployed with any number of the life-long professional students, greenies and lefties that plague any western, free nation like life sapping tapeworms squirming in orgasmic delight at their weekly free feed. Trouble is the ever shrinking pool of people actually creating real wealth have had a gutful (pun intended).

So what was some other classics of the mighty “Stimulus” package from the House of Krudd..

Increased First Home buyers grant to $25,000 (To which one mullet, complete with the three screaming kids hanging on the hip) stated on tv, “Now I can afford to purchase my own home because we did not have enough for the deposit before ”.... No you can’t plankton! If you cannot save the deposit, you sure as sh*T cannot afford a mortgage, perhaps some condoms might be a plan.

A multi-million dollar program on pushing a “Bill of Rights (You know, like Zimbabwe has) and religious tolerance (Would it not be cheaper just to issue one way tickets to Palestine for moronic, stone age Imams who declare uncovered women “pieces of meat” and it’s “ok for husbands to rape their wives”). Give them something real to whinge about.

Sling a gad zillion dollars into greenie dreaming pink insulation bats and direct cash for the no-hopers to spend on booze and computer games

Yup..that’ll get the economy going , only trouble it hasn’ t and won't..lets recap..

In November, KRuddY said that $10.4 billion would “help to create up to 75,000 additional jobs over the coming year”. ….NOPE

Again in November: “Today the governments of Australia . . . have agreed on a $15.1 billion package to create 133,000 jobs to stimulate the economy.” Nope..

Now anywhere did we hear of plan to create opportunities for those people and companies that actually create wealth. Perhaps an Ord River or Snowy Mountains Scheme, or perhaps new ports? Maybesomething as simple as changing all of Australia’s rail to the same gauge (jeez what a no brainer)? How about a line of reservoirs (and to hell with the greenies in the driest country in the world have the serial stupids to complain about water catchment) to supplement the now dry River Murray?

Did we hear of any such plan..nope..but what did you expect after listening to inbred latte draftness that came out of the 20-20 vision summit for Australia, paid for guess it ..this bloke:

A Boss Who Tells It Like It Is

Date: Sat, 03 Jan 2009

To All My Valued Employees,

There have been some rumblings around the office about the future of this company, and more specifically, your job. As you know, the economy has changed for the worse and presents many challenges. However, the good news is this: The economy doesn't pose a threat to your job. What does threaten your job; however, is the changing political landscape in this country.

However, let me tell you some little tidbits of fact which might help you decide what is in your best interests.

First, while it is easy to spew rhetoric that casts employers against employees, you have to understand that for every business owner there is a back story. This back story is often neglected and overshadowed by what you see and hear. Sure, you see me park my Subaru Outback outside. You've seen my big home at last year's Christmas party. I'm sure all these flashy icons of luxury conjure up some idealised thoughts about my life.

However, what you don't see is the back story.

I started this company 28 years ago. At that time, I lived in a 2 bedroom flat for 3 years. My entire living area was converted into an office so I could put forth 100% effort into building a company, which by the way, would eventually employ you.

My diet consisted of baked beans, stew and soup because every dollar I spent went back into this company. I drove a rusty Toyota Corolla with a wonky transmission. I didn't have time to go out with women. Often times, I stayed home on weekends, while my friends went out drinking and partying. In fact, I was married to my business -- hard work, discipline, and sacrifice.

Meanwhile, my friends got jobs. They worked 40 hours a week and made a modest $50,000 a year and spent every dime they earned. They drove flashy cars and lived in expensive homes and wore fancy designer clothes. Instead of hitting the David Jones for the latest hot fashion item, I was trolling through the discount store extracting any clothing item that didn't look like it was birthed in the 70's. My friends refinanced their mortgages and lived a life of luxury. I, however, did not. I put my time, my money, and my life into a business with a vision that eventually, some day, I too, will be able to afford these luxuries my friends supposedly had.

So, while you physically arrive at the office at 9am, mentally check in at about noon, and then leave at 5pm, I don't. There is no "off" button for me. When you leave the office, you are done and you have a weekend all to yourself. I unfortunately do not have the freedom. I eat, and breathe this company every minute of the day. There is no rest. There is no weekend. There is no happy hour. Every day this business is attached to my hip like a 1 year old special-needs child. You, of course, only see the fruits of that garden -- the nice house, the Subaru, the vacations... you never realise the back story and the sacrifices I've made.

Now, the economy is falling apart and I, the guy that made all the right decisions and saved his money, have to bail-out all the people who didn't. The people that overspent their pay suddenly feel entitled to the same luxuries that I earned and sacrificed a decade of my life for.

Yes, business ownership has its benefits but the price I've paid is steep and not without wounds.

Unfortunately, the cost of running this business, and employing you, is starting to eclipse the threshold of marginal benefit and let me tell you why:

I am being taxed to death and the government thinks I don't pay enough. I have state taxes. Federal taxes. Property taxes. Sales and use taxes. Payroll taxes. Workers compensation. Unemployment taxes. Taxes on taxes. I have to hire an accountant to manage all these taxes and then guess what? I have to pay taxes for employing him. Government mandates and regulations and all the accounting that goes with it, now occupy most of my time. On Oct 15th, I wrote a cheque to the Australian tax Office for $288,000 for quarterly taxes. You know what my "stimulus" cheque was? Zero. Zip. Zilch.

The question I have is this: Who is stimulating the economy? Me, the guy who has provided 14 people good paying jobs and serves over 2,200,000 people per year with a flourishing business? Or, the single mother sitting at home pregnant with her fourth child waiting for her next welfare cheque? Obviously, government feels the latter is the economic stimulus of this country.

The fact is, if I deducted (Read: Stole) 50% of your pay you'd quit and you wouldn't work here. I mean, why should you? That's nuts. Who wants to get rewarded only 50% of their hard work? Well, I agree which is why your job is in jeopardy.

Here is what many of you don't understand .... to stimulate the economy you need to stimulate what runs the economy. Had the government suddenly mandated to me that I didn't need to pay taxes, guess what? Instead of depositing that $288,000 into the Canberra black-hole, I would have spent it, hired more employees, and generated substantial economic growth. My employees would have enjoyed the wealth of that tax cut in the form of promotions and better salaries. But you can forget it now.

When you have a comatose man on the verge of death, you don't defibrillate and shock his thumb thinking that will bring him back to life, do you? Or, do you defibrillate his heart? Business is at the heart of Australia and always has been. To restart it, you must stimulate it, not kill it. But the power brokers in Canberra believe the poor of Australia are the essential drivers of the Australian economic engine. Nothing could be further from the truth and this is the type of change you can keep.

So where am I going with all this?

It's quite simple.

If any new taxes are levied on me, or my company, my reaction will be swift and simple. I fire you. I fire your co-workers. You can then plead with the government to pay for your mortgage, your 4WD and your child's future. Frankly, it isn't my problem any more.

Then, I will close this company down, move to another country, and retire. You see, I'm done. I'm done with a country that penalises the productive and gives to the unproductive. My motivation to work and to provide jobs will be destroyed, and with it, will be my citizenship.

So, if you lose your job, it won't be at the hands of the economy; it will be at the hands of politicians that swept through this country and changed its financial landscape forever. If that happens, you can find me sitting on a beach, retired, and with no employees to worry about....


Your boss