TERMINAL DECISIONS

It seems GJ has started a bit of a blue with his dismissal
of an errant driver. A relatively common theme being thrown around revolves around some quaint cafe socialist view of the world and the exploitation of an underclass. Which is amusing as often the comments often expose a degree of snobbery by the sanctimonious "Ches" leaving the comments.

No one is denying that some bosses are arseholes and the whole workers obligations and rights thing is a complete buggers muddle in Indonesia (notice we did include obligations, it’s a two way street). However, to assume that working as domestic help is a job choice to be pitied shows a complete misunderstanding of what real life is like for many people in this country (personally the Stump finds the profession of accountants and money men far more pitiful, after all they only parasite from the real work that others have achieved).

There is not enough work for everyone in Indonesia, nor realistically will there be in any foreseeable future. If by employing a maid/driver/gardener some of the wealth is kept locally and just perhaps that money allows the next generation to achieve even a modicum of higher chooling then that has to be a good thing.

Stump stands to be corrected, but is willing to suggest that most Australian Expatriates (this will bring in the crows) influenced by the fairly class less culture tend to treat their employees on fairly informal basis and if would be rare for an employee to be exploited as such.

The Stump regularly gets the sh*ts with the self righteous arseholes who wander through the airport for instance, proclaiming loudly “I don’t need anyone to carry my bag, I am not going to exploit the poor bastards”. Bloody drongos, what does he think the “poor bastard” is going to do if he doesn’t make any money as a porter .. Pop down to the nearest unemployment office and collect a cheque.

Having said that, the Stump like GJ is astounded that some people once locked into a secure and (relatively) well paying job, will then jeopardise the whole thing out of sheer stupidity. Company Stump recently sent a very young, very bright Indonesian (lets call him Bright Spark or BS for short) to Australia for a series of courses. It was made very clear to BS that a new product line was coming into the country and he was to be the guru of all things in that product line and the potential was there for him to reach very senior management. Sure enough, the “live for today” mental trap kicked in and he was caught selling spares of company equipment to a rival company for the sake of a couple of Rp. Shocked and horrified when he was terminated and police were called (ah the police investigation, that’s another story) he lost the job and will never be employed by another expatriate company in the region for wait for it…5 million Rp.

Now the self appointed advocates out there, will say for only 5 million. Give him another chance. Screw that! Company paid for his families hospital stays when they were sick, paid a good wage, paid thousands for international courses and gave him a future that less than 20% of Indonesians will ever see. Basic Trust and honesty was all that was required in return a fair contract and he broke it.

Although to be fair consequences and action –reaction often don’t seem to a consideration to large proportion of the population. Witness the acts of your local motorcycle riders “I ride like lunatic, on the wrong side of the road and don’t look left or right then…SPLAT.” is not a thought pattern that comes naturally.

Another example:

Several years ago, I was staying in a home stay in Kupang, nice Christian family (little weird, like all god botherers but nice). One day the two teenagers in the house come to my room

Them “Hey you wanna come and see where (we) burnt the Muslims houses last night”?

Stump “Eeer Ok”

Yep sure enough a dozen plus houses burnt to the ground and on the way back home

Stump… “Why did they (you) burnt their houses”

Them ….. ‘Because they burnt our church”

Stump… “Mmm Ok”

But it gets better.. ten minutes later we pass a remarkably unburnt church

Stump… “Huh// I thought you said they burnt your church”

Them… Sheepishly “Someone said they did”

But wait gets even better…

About a week later, everyone is sitting around the table and the conversation starts with everyone complaining that the price of fish has tripled and is now a luxury item

Stump… “Hang on..Weren’t those houses that were burnt the homes of the fishermen (as well as being Muslims, it was a fisher village)”

Them.. “Yes why do you ask” ..puzzled looks what’s this bule on about..

Stump “Well if you burn the fisherman's houses then it stands to reason….ah forget it” wandering off down the pub for a fishless dinner..

Consequences …………………… They are a bastard with a life of their own.

HUMAN POPCORN

Have not been sleeping well at the Stump. Perhaps like Will (The richer I get, the nuttier I am) Smith, we are searching for the answers to life’s trick questions:

Is Will Smith a Scientologist and why should we care?

Why is the opinion of two minute human popcorn actors so valued?

Where are the Loony Leftists and peaceniks traveling to Zimbabwe and tying themselves to polling booths to ensure freedom and the rights of Zimbabweans.

Why do the loons only act like leftist moronic peanuts when the US is involved?

Speaking of hypocrites, how many Muslims died in the Sudan this week and what was net reaction of the Muslim world?

Is it because they are Black Muslims that nobody gives a rats?

Who actually believes the demonstrations in Jakarta and the recent harassment of minorities/ethnic groups in Indonesia is not part of a wider political agenda?

Who in Indonesia does not know the puppet master and why do Indonesians fall for this game time and again?

Who else thinks it’s morally and intellectually repugnant to have a stinking rich bastard on a Climate Change Committee when thousands of people are being forced from their homes due to his mad (man) made ecological disaster?

Oh well back to sleep……zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

JUDGEMENT DAY AND MONKS

There seems to be an insidious plot to unearth the Greenstump’s devious and hidden dark side and its fun watching all unfold. As far as dark sides go the Stump figures come Judgement Day, the stump won’t even be in the fast lane.

Judgement Day is one of the many dubious pieces of faith that both Christianity and Islam have in common. Now the Stump prefers to think that GOD is the bloke or blokette that lives in those places between ignorance and science. Never the less (always good to have a dollar each way), on the off chance the Stump is wrong, the Stump takes comfort in the Judgement Day Priority line theory.

Come the day in question,

All Powerful Bloke/Blokette, APB for short (You know the merciful one who casts us naughties into the pit of flames or whatever is the cultural equivalent)

APB “Ah Stump nice to see you could make it but we will have to deal with you later”

Stump “Eer APB.. I can explain the hamster and the tape, honest”

APB “Stump are you serious, we won’t get to your pathetic attempts of naughty for another gazillion years. Now did you happen to see that bloody Singing General, an overly rich bastard with mud on his shoes or anyone of those lying sons of bitches who have had the gall to kill, murder and beat in my name.

Stump “Yep over there (what did you expect the stump to say sheesh)”

APB “Ok you sit over there in the waiting room and don’t stick the pages of the Hustler together and I will get to you in another eternity or so. If you see a wacker running around in funny hat and purple dress telling people it’s a sin to use condoms, tell him I am looking for him as well”

POLAR BEARS AND TREES DON'T MIX

If you want some fun reading pop across to see the Polar Bear and Treespotter slugfest. Not withstanding the Bears strange need to “Glass” someone (must be a Bear or Scot thing?)the Stump thinks Tree is on hiding to nothing on this one, Blaming the thieving colonials for all our sins really has not held water since Japan and Korea got up and running after being blown all the way back to the stone age.

Of course, it probably just the cynical Stump, but Stump does find a delightful irony whenever Jakartaite complains about colonialism and the damage and hurt caused imposing a "foreign" culture on others.

Finally, in keeping with the Religous Theme.

The Stump came across this interesting little fact today



LAS VEGAS CATHOLIC CHURCHES ACCEPT GAMBLING CHIPS

THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS , BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.

NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.

SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS..

THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.


THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.


YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING DID YOU?






AND HAS ANYONE SEEN THE STUMP'S HANDPHONE!

OUT SOURCING RISKS N REWARDS

Well it would appear that sub-contracting rants is not without it’s complications.

The Stump should perhaps clear a couple of things up, firstly when I said The Ranter needs to get more personal, I was suggesting that perhaps the “Ranter” should nominate the blogger that generated such a post. As it turns out there a more than few that are provoked by the Ranter and they obviously mistook “personal” for descriptions of family relations (bastards, sob etc) and suggestions for sexual diversions (one of which is I am not sure is even possible, certainly gross). So you will understand that not all comments made the grade. Rima’s suggestion for government improvements certainly had some merit though(you will have to ask her).

Secondly, Jakartass takes issue with the Stump for sub-contracting rants, which is a trifle harsh as its part of the KITAS thingy. All foreigners are to provide opportunity for foreign employee positions to be replaced by Indonesians (Can anyone really tell us, where the $1200 per KITAS really goes?)

Anyway, it’s starting with a life of its own now so we can all sit back and watch
(What a shame I don’t sell widgets on this site)

Have good weekend all…

THE RANTER DATANG

A surprise for all, the Stump has an anonymous guest blogger. Although in the fine (or not so) traditions of the Greenstump perhaps we should say a guest “Ranter”.

All the Stump is at liberty to say is “The Ranter” is fair dinkum, ridgy-didge, true blue Indonesian. Annoyed at those who continually criticise Indonesia (that would be the Stump) but more importantly, the ranter is positively livid at those Indonesians who have the education, money and skills to change Indonesia for the better, but who decide to travel overseas and come back with nothing but negatives about their home country.

So it is with great pleasure the Stump introduces “THE RANTER”



Being an (not so) Indonesian


This is when I normally came up when feeling rather troubled and down.
Getting really pissed over people who can’t seem to appreciate where they came from. And usually, yes people, usually these sort of comments (assume this refers to the heading above that what used on another blog someplace..stump) come from those who had lived not really far from Indonesia, not long enough to feel how they suffer without the sun showering their days the way it is in Indonesia.

Brag. First, they’ll brag about how organized it is in other countries. People queue, people line of for tube tickets, people line up for vending machines. Then they’ll continue bragging on how blue the sky is on the other side of the world, compare to the polluted Indonesia (mind how they mix Indonesia with Jakarta!!). Not enough? Then, they’ll brag about how good the manners of people abroad compare to the smileful Indonesians. Hmmph. I hope you do spot some anomaly in my last sentence.
Unless you have traveled to all thirteen thousands something islands in Indonesia, do not say that our country is worse than a piece of small island formed off a country in Europe.

Unless you have seen and touched paddy fields in your life, do not say that the air in Indonesia is polluted and people are building malls everywhere.
Unless you have slept on some part of sandy beaches in Western part of Indonesia, do not say that our beaches are abandoned.

You can’t say that Jakarta represents Indonesia in general. Surely if you only see Jakarta (and all other big cities) you might want to have that impression. But have you thought of going to another side of the Indonesia’s world? Try going down under the water, snorkel, dive, then you’d forget about all of the malls in Indonesia, for that matters. Try climbing the mountains or even a small hill, then you’ll forget about how bad the traffic is everywhere in Jakarta.

I just simply don’t understand why people with so little knowledge decided to generalize everything about something they don’t even know.
It is like one blind person trying to explain how an elephant looks like while holding only its ear.
Sad. Well, pathetic to be exact.


Stump..All in all not a bad rant..although lacks the personal touch...Someone has set the Ranter off and we shall endeavour to track down the cause of such venom and let the blog war begin.. Meanwhile the Stump is off to find an Elephants Ear.

MONKEYS ON WHEELS

Morons, Idiots, Monkeys on Wheels..

What kind of drop kick, useless flog-guts do they allow to drive in this bloody country. Isn’t there any kind of license test, stupid corrupt bastards!

What kind of moron would you have to be to miss a turn on a busy main road, put your car straight into reverse and slam into the car behind you, without once checking your revision mirror..

Oh OOOPS BUGGER BUM AND BASTARD… That would be the Stump.. Please insert “Stump” into all of the above boxes


A CORRECTION ON STOLEN GENERATIONS POST… Apparently there has now been “one” case of the stolen generation that has stood up in court although currently under appeal.

POST TURTLES & DEWI

The Stump was not going to do another Prime Minister Krudd post as there is only so much you can do with an empty space. However, we were sent a post turtle email which aptly describes the current ratbag occupying the Prime Minister position in Australia.

POST TURTLE

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old South Australian Wheat Farmer, whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Prime Minister Rudd and his pathetic excuse for a government. The old farmer said, "Welllll, Rudd is a 'Post Turtle'.

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'Post Turtle' was. The old farmer said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'Post Turtle'." The old Farmer saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain. "You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he is up there, and you just wonder what kind of a galah put him up there in the first place!.

Speaking of Galahs (Galah - noisy, colourful Australian parrots not known for their intelligence and generally considered a pest). Normally the stump has a lot of time for Indonesian Journalist Dewi Anggraeni, however she was well and truly caught out recently whilst commenting on the Australian Stolen Generations issue.

Falling for the high profile, media induced but total beat up of the so-called Stolen Generations, she was taken to task by a reader for adding to the "spin of the stolen generations story" when a reader suggested that she might have interviewed say..five members of the stolen generations.

This was a bit sneaky by the reader, as he full well knew as would anyone who has done a modicum of research, she would not find any genuine cases. The Australian Loony Left has been trying for the last ten years to find just one case that would stand up as a class action without success but some simply hugely embarrassing failures

Now this would not normally be a problem and no one could blame Dewi for falling for this particular piece of revisionist history rubbish as it has claimed any number of gullible victims (Tell the same lie often enough it becomes the truth..who said that?).

Where Dewi falls from the Stump's graces, is when challenged on why she didn't actually do some research and interview some of the "Stolen Generations" , Dewi replies "I did indeed interview members of the stolen generations"

Dewi..Dewi..Dewi.. Just because some says they are something doesn't make it so. No court in Australia nor the combined forces of the looney left have managed to come up with a bone fide case so do you really expect us to believe you did? Come on, fess up...

Trouble is, once you are caught out once, everything else you want to say is suspect...TSK TSK TSK ..or ask the new Australian Minister for plastic bags Peter Garret

OIL PRICES, RACISTS AND ARSEHOLES

Bizarre, We have come through the "Battle of Insipid Bean-Counters" with the business surviving although swallowing up another division along the way. Casualties were limited to the jobs of number of other expats in the other loss making division, leaving the stump as sole “foreign survivor" in the now joined companies(further proof that the prayers of the faithful and vindictive don’t matter). Although others will fall as the new culture of accountability and actually being required to produce rather than just sit and shit are introduced.

A much bigger organisation now although no-where near as profitable, so the search was on for a Human Resources Director. Interview Time duly came and with some “seemingly” high quality candidates. Process was we explain our company and its values (bruised but still standing after the battle with the morally devoid IBCs). You would think such things that would give a hint to a prospective candidate of what should be said? Such values identified as critical were; promotion is on merit not length of service, gender, religion, age, ethnic group are to have no bearing on hiring or promotion.

Further discussion was held on the need to be able to communicate carefully what is required to the workers as little miscommunication tend to get out hand quickly in Indonesia.

Then came the time for our prospective candidate to explain what he could bring to the company. He explained he was very sensitive and skilled at communication as he had spent considerable time in Papua. "It was very difficult there...Blah Blah" at which point he leaned over and whispered “As you know Mr, the only good Papuan is a dead one but we couldn’t do that” At which point, the Stump leaned across and said “Interview is over”

In an amusing addition to the above story, we received a letter on Friday from the “dropkicks” legal advisor (?) today threatening to take us to court as we had discriminated against him on the basis of his religion. We have written back advising we have requested a hearing in court next month and hope he can attend ..oh and we have requested the case be heard in Papua (we haven’t of course, but the stump was helpless in the desire to mock in the face of such nasty stupid)…Bloody Bottom Feeders annoy us!

On the other updates, Prime Minister Krudd continues to expose the left wing of Australia as vacuous as their international cousins. Yet further signs of just how shallow and hollow little weasel is was demonstrated when he tried cosying up to those unrepresentive, intolerant FATWA issuing, self serving galahs, know locally as the M*I. Little Kruddy was out of his depth (anything above 2cm from base morals puts him out his depth) and has all the class of a soggy wet end cigar end. Did anyone else feel like vomiting as this twerp offered scholarships to the all-knowers of Allah's Will? As an aside, we ain't religious at the Stump but if you know God's will doesn't that make you a GOD as well?

Speaking of smoking (actually soggy cigar ends but anyway..), did you happen to see the elitist, privileged morons writing to the paper about those evil smokers at the same time the papers are full of reports of children starving to death in the most resource rich nation in South East Asia. A 100 Years of Awakening indeed, perhaps an awakening for ten minutes would help! One could ask when will we awake and say “ENOUGH” and demand some accountability from the obscene pigs with their noses so deep in the trough they cannot see their own people suffering.

Other big news this month is “Fuel Prices”. Interestingly, none of our rabid green friends (you remember them, the bio fuel disaster freaks and supporters) have owned up to the fact, the fuel prices you are seeing now are nothing as to what will happen if the green freaks and intellectually challenged politicians get their way with the fools dream of carbon and emission trading. Although one should never be surprised at the duplicity and hypocrisy of the Rabid Greens.

On the plus side, the ever increasing higher prices will force countries like the USA and Australia to become far more fuel independent (yes it will still be oil, perhaps squeezed greenies as an additive though.) Once the cash life line of the sand cultists dries up (pun intended), the export of hate from the Sand Cultists will fall back into irrelevance as God (tee hee) intended.

Meanwhile, on the plus side the high fuel prices have driven down the price of the STUMPS latest order. A new throbbing .5.4 Litre, 8 Cylinder Ford Falcon FG8 will be the Stump’s latest contribution to providing penguins with chance to enjoy weather without a jumper like the rest of us. Although, it won’t be ready for few months as it Stump is still playing with SPV for some additional tricks.

BTW..Anyone know where we can find a good technically minded, operations manager?

THE LAST WORD.. This month's silliest headline "RI sends full medical team and logistical aid to China" perhaps they should them to Kupang Indonesia where the death toll of children from starvation is over two dozen and climbing.

Which gives us our two nominations for Arsehole of the Month award:

Nomination One:

An official asked about the dead children was quoted as saying

"It's the parents fault, they are ignorant and don't know how to nourish their children"

Nomination Two:

A pond scum dweller writing in to The Jakarta Post (paraphrased, look it up yourself) "I am sorry to say the government should not provide education assistance to poor people they don't deserve it"

KEVIN RUDD HUMAN-LITE

The Stump noticed the new Australian Prime Minister Kevin “earwax” Krud popped into Indonesia for about 20 minutes the other day. Bizarrely the Indonesian Press made quite a fuss about it (relatively), routinely commenting on new beginnings and stronger ties with new Asia friendly ties.

Actually we should not be surprised, Krud is about as close to atypical Javanese politician as you will get. Excessively polite, plenty of style and not a cracker of substance in anything said.

Let’s review some of the highlights of this over promoted dog-catcher:

• Went on pilgrimage to the Hiroshima Shine. The Stump wonders if he offered to accompany the Japanese Prime Minister on a tour of the Sandakan Death March locations or perhaps mention it might be time to acknowledge the Japanese use (abuse) of Asian Comfort woman during World War 2.

• Signed the Kyoto Treaty in a classic display of no substance Australia could cease all economic activity right now and make less than ½ per cent change to CO2 to the environment whilst countries like Indonesia, China and India as major polluters (all jockeying for top five positions) have absolutely no obligation (or desire) to take any responsibility for the criminal abuse of their own eco-systems.

• Proposed a regional Euro-Union ..oops sorry SE Asia union..classic!! Don’t we have a very effective one of those. The Stump will have to check with Burma on that.

We were gunna do a post on "BLUE ENERGY" but that was too easy...and we couldn't stop laughing...Psst...The stump has a good lead on Sydney wanting to sell the Harbour Bridge..for a small upfront commission (say $250,000) we could steer the contract your way................

Well that’s today’s rant from us LAZY BASTARDS..

WE'RE BACK!!!!!!!!

Some one famous (or was it Guru Bob) once said “If a tree falls in the forest and no-one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?” or updated “If the Stump does not post does any one notice?”

Well the Stump is back although battle worn and bruised. Suffice to say the war of accountants has ended (here on know as the War of the Poses). Upsetting to some but the Stump and the loyal team of Stumplets have survived, a number of people in the “other” organisation have fallen on the sword of accountability.

Of course, a few more are to fall yet as the changing of the culture of the newly absorbed organisation begins (no, marking up supplier invoices by 10% and sharing the extra does not qualify you as a “self starter”).

The Stump notes Indonesia has got along fine without us (who needs one more fool in our quaint little circus). Our resident bottom feeders the FPI (Fantastically Pathetic Idiots) quickly disproved the myth that Religious Nut Bags are provoked into thuggery and terror by Western Attitudes as they attacked innocent people in central Jakarta with nail impregnated bamboo poles. The Stump has always stood in sheer awe of the morons who blithely state that Australia’s participation in Iraq increased the risk of terror attacks. Of course, the fact that the Bali bombings took place before Iraq escapes these web-footed, simple minded apologists for thugs. The FPI demonstrated once and for all that a moron and his religion will always find someone to hate.

Other news a new international study found with 99% certainty that the Brothers GRIM were responsible for flooding thousands of villages out of their homes. Hands up, who didn’t know that already..Ok Hands Down Mr B.. Money only buys the written truth in Indonesia not the real truth.

An Indonesian clergyman (who cares what his name is.. Father ILIEALOT or something) proved the church has learnt nothing from its shameless support of the NAZI’s by declaring that there was no problem with Religious Tolerance in Indonesia. One can only wonder what colour is the sky in his world?

The Junta over in Burma is still proving the ASEAN principles of inducing change in the “Asian Way” is a roaring success expect for the stench of rotting bodies but at least we remain polite about it.

Ok enough rants for one day..its gooooooddddddd to be back (that’s good not GOD)

OFFENSIVE BASTARDS

Hey There..

Like we didn't know that would happen; had the resident moron commenting rudely that my previous picture was offensive and he/she/it was going to report the Stump..

The official Stump response Screw You Pinhead! You would not know offensive if it crawled up your pants and bit you on the arse!

we have friend from Burma who has been lucky enough to create a life for themsleves outside the clutches of insane leaders of that country. We sent them an email offering condolences, thought our readers might like to read the response:

"feel like shooting the fucking chinc foreign policy for interfering by exercising their Veto vote UN in support of Junta's decision to disallow the aid workers into Burma, but when the shits hit the fan in their country, they are begging everyone to come in and help. China is making so much money and getting much needed energy supply out of Burma and dumping its unsafe and inferior goods into Burma and as long as the junta remains in power in Burma, china is laughing. arseholes really.

and of course XXXXXX all them generals..."

And pinheads have the nerve to say that a picture of stunningly attractive girl is offensive. The stump agrees with our Burma mate, those stinking generals are offensive, along with self centered, bastard nations who have the gall to pretend they are civilised and then support the Junta are highly offensive (and do look up Indonesia's stunningly pathetic stance on the Junta as well).

Can hardly wait for the day when the galahs get their way and America decides enough abuse and leaves China as the sole power in SE Asia. Wankers All!

FREE MONEY NO RISK

Wooo Hoooo...

The Stump has hit the big time.. its beaches, bears and bare bums from here on in..
Check out the beach I am retiring too. Its ok the barely tolerant and irrational need not get offended, its not an Indonesian Beach (see no Plastic Drink Bottles on the sand)

Because you are my loyal readers and I know you can keep a secret...here's a copy of my good fortune

"
( READ CAREFULLY AND KEEP SECRET)

Dear friend,
/>
I know that this message will come to you as a surprise. I am Dr Amudu Adams personal
Assistant to the Branch Manager of Bank Of Africa(BOA)Ouagadougou Burkina
Faso. I want to inquire from you if you can handle this transaction for mutual
benefits/life opportunity for you and me. The transaction is about seeking your consent to present
you as the next of kin/ beneficiary of the US$7.3 MILLION DOLLAR, ,(SEVEN MILLION,THREE HOUNDRED
THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS), and who is a customer to the bank where i work.

He
was involved in the December 25th 2003 class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1210155166_2" style="CURSOR: hand; BORDER-BOTTOM: #0066cc 1px
dashed">Benin plane crash, with his family during their vacation journey . The Fund
is currently in a suspense account awaiting claim, the bank made a public notice that they are
ready to release this fund to any of his relatives abroad.


THEREFORE, by virtue of its nature as being utterly CONFIDENTIAL, top secret
should be maintained please!,because i am still in the active service i do not need any form of
implication especially now I'm in the verge of my retirement to endanger my career at last!.
/>
Since we got the information about his death, we have been
expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it unless
some body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking
guidelines and laws.

In that regard, i decided to seek your consent for this
prospective opportunity. Have it at the back of your mind, that the transaction does not involve
any RISK, and does not need much engagement from you, since i am familiar with this kind of
transaction being an insider.

Necessary modalities will be worked out to enable us
carry out the fund claim under a legitimate arrangement. I have resolved to offer you 30% of the
total fund, 10% for sundry expenses that may be incurred during the process of executing this
transaction and 60% percent for me.FOR SECURITY PURPOSE I WILL LIKE YOU TO CONTACTS ME IN MY
PRIVATE E-MAIL ADDRESS =class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1210155166_3">color="#003399">:dramudu_adams123@yahoo.fr

I will give you more
details about the transaction when I receive your affirmative response,more clarification
information.Please I would like you to keep this proposal as a top secret and delete it if you are
not interested.

I'm waiting to hear from you soon.

I
look forward to your earliest response
Regards and
thanks,

Dr Amudu Adams

Well Doctor Flog Guts.. I hope thousand emus raced into your backyard and kick ya dunny down..Although to be fair you are only a maggoty beginner when it comes to scams..We have the Indonesian Idol of Scams in this country looking after peoples welfare..Ya Brothers Grim and the mud pack kids..

BTW...Did anyone ever keep the address of the scam busters web site that Indocoup had before the forces of darkness overwhelmed him.

How to cook an Accountant

Sheesh..It’s been a tough few weeks and battling the accountants has been like a scene from day of the Triffids, but we are hanging in there with not a few scalps under our belts.

Achieved a new Indonesian Airline Record, eight Lion air flights and was delayed nine times! (only in Indonesia, sick of being delayed, paid business class with another dodgy airline only to be delayed because a Lion Airline plane was broken and blocking the entrance to runway..BUGGER). Fair Dinkum and these Wackers want to run a nuclear power-plant, the mind boggles (glows?).

Still was nice to see the forces of tolerance and freedom of religion doing their bit for the Indonesia, Nothing like the burning of a place of worship and the homes of women and children to prove your devotion to GOD (although chucking children and virgins down the mouth of fiery volcanos would definitely bring back the crowds, seems an opportunity missed considering the number of volcanos just waiting for the tolerant in this country).

The Stump’s mate, Rob from the Rab Experience comment on the East Timor Post that the Indonesian version of history was not surprising and he is of course quite correct. Bizarre would be a term that springs to mind.

Although, the Stump is also surprised and the blinkered view that the Western Liberal Love Duds take on the “Freedom Fighters” they certainly were no slouches in the lets treat people like animals stakes.

Onto more recent news, nature’s fury in Burma has exposed the absolute myth pushed by ASEAN nations that the third way “sssshhh don’t offend anyone” because the Asian way is better.

Of course, Stump has always had an issue with the world’s wanker nations huffing and puffing about the US and its evil GITMO prison etc. The simple fact is the worst conditions in an American Prison don’t hold a candle to the injustices and abuse that occur in the accusing nations (Indonesia included, although only if you are poor).

It’s not so much that the US has GITMO because on the scale of 1-10 in evil it rates a 1 compared to the other ratbags, we are just disappointed that the US lowered its standards to float at the edges of that particular cess pool.

Have fun.

Today’s Recipe.

Take one beady eyed, inbred, buck toothed, accountant.
Skin thoroughly, add spices to taste
Lower slowly into a boiling pot (don’t worry about the screams that’s just the air escaping)
Through in one leather safety boot (REDWING is best), same pot
Boil until Boot is soft
Once Boot is soft, remove accountant
Throw away accountant and eat boot (there is no residual nourishment in accountants dead or alive)

EAST TIMOR HISTORY WARS

There is little doubt that the teaching of History and Social Science in Indonesia could at best be called perverse. Never the less every so often people put pen to paper with statements that simply leave the Stump GOBSMACKED and provides yet another entry in "WHY DON'T THEY TAKE US SERIOUSLY" journal.



Check out this classic piece from today's Jakarta Post Letters section

History Revision 1. The Indonesian Military was invited into East Timor by the Nationalist Group of East Timor (Who???) I guess he means like the Dutch went invited into Indonesia by some local Regents at the time (Do have read of Raffles in Indonesia if you want a real laughable account of Indonesian Regents double doubling at the expense of their people..as they say the more things change...)

History Revision 2. No Christmas before the Indonesians came .... I bet that's news to the Catholic East Timorese and Portuguese (and not suggesting the Ports are the good guys here..but the statment..WTF.

History Revision 3. The posts of UN Secretary General and Portuguese President were all held by Ramos Horta ..Busy little bugger wasn't he.

Although to be fair, the writer is correct that it is to the Australian Labor Party's and its leftist flunkies eternal shame, they sold out so easy and looked the other way during the invasion (which took far longer than the Indonesian Military thought until British Supplied Combat systems turned the tide)

For such slush like this still to be touted without belly laughs in public, shows how far is yet to be traveled in the interests of freedom and democracy.

As a disclaimer, don't for a second think the Stump falls in the camp of those groups that resisted the Indonesia presence. Contrary to the nice, noble myth of the brave Freedom Fighter, they proved time and again that they held own in random unjustified violence, torture and cruelty to innocents.

Oh...Want see an interesting reaction?..Next time you meet a senior Indonesian Official who says he was in Tim Tim prior to independence ask him "So did you ever get a chance to see Aturo?"

BTW.. Dili is not a big city and their ain't no others..

On the lighter side

The Jakarta Post without fail provides a daily belly laugh as well..take this quote on a piece about the arrest of some robbers at the airport.

"He said all four suspected resisted arrest forcing officers to shoot them in the legs." ...Suree they did..chuckle"

SCREWING WITH YOUR PENIS

Treespotter wrote of his concerns that the Stump was setting a record for Penis Posts. The Stumps official position on this is well, SIZE DOES MATTER.

However in the interests of Occupational Health and Safety and in accordance with the newly government mandated CSR policies, the following is a public service announcement.

ANZAC DAY 2008

Waking up at 3 am on ANZAC DAY watching him get ready for the ANZAC Day March had been a tradition going back as far as one could remember. The once a year suit, the searching for the impossibly large array of medals to be pinned onto the left breast pocket, the Pacific Star, the Africa Star and all the others representing battles, trials and tribulations long forgotten and in many cases never even heard of by most of us.

By 5am, we would be looking on, as he would be standing in the cold pre-dawn light exchanging muted greetings of other like dressed, once a year comrades. Occasionally a blustering laugh would be heard as some nearly forgotten story of the past was regaled in all its absurd glory. Just before dawn a solemn silence seem to overtake the clusters of people standing in barley visible groups who had formed as if by some secret order that only those who had served understood. As the night fell away and invariably in light rain, the prayers for the fallen would begin at the site of the places of remembrance at thousands of places across the Australia and the world.

Later that day, they would march in memory of their friends and people who often were only forgotten names but vividly remembered faces and places. By mid morning, rum and coffee was being shared and stories expounded amid great gales of laughter, which was our indication that it was time for some of us to head home a leave the old warriors to their tales. Sometime that evening he would return usually more than a little drunk, but we were already asleep.

As we got older we noticed the laughter was not as forthcoming as it was in the past. One night when I was older, I heard him arrive but it was a quiet homecoming. I got up and walked outside, turning on the lights.

I saw something then that had never been seen before in this rock of man. He had been sitting in the dark with tears rolling down his face, quietly I asked him what was wrong, for a long time he just sat there with his hand tousling my hair. Finally he shook and said in a wavering voice I had never heard before:

“There was a man whose name I cannot even remember. We were in the Alexandria Army Hospital in the Middle East, he was a soldier who had suffered horrific combat injuries but by far the worst was the shrapnel had ripped the lower part of his face and jaw clean from his body. He could not talk, and could not eat and must have known he was going to die far from his home. In constant pain, all we could do was try and keep him calm as we waited for him to die.

For over a week, expect for those miracles times he would lapse into unconsciousness, this poor bugger would thrash and moan. Every day I would be forced to restrain him by holding his arms to his sides. He would try and force my arms to the ground at the sides of the stretcher and I would hold him down day after day. I shouldn’t have but I did swear at him and curse him as we struggled.

The one day, during one of our struggles, he just stopped trying and passed away.

Later that day, the nurses came and cleaned the stretcher and sheets, as they moved the stretcher. We noticed a cardboard box. We opened it and it contained over a dozen unopened letters from his wife and family.

Apparently these letters had been following him around the battle field for many months and finally caught up with him in the hospital. Some over worked orderly must have placed them under his stretcher at some time before he had time to read them to the soldier.

All this time, I had fought, restrained and cursed this poor bugger, all he was ever was trying to do was reach the letters under his bed. To hear from his loved ones before he died.

We did open one of the letters you know; his wife had enclosed pictures of his baby son..

Jesus..boy..All the poor bastard wanted was to see his son and I stopped him!”



Disclosure..The above is a true story..The man carrying that burden for 60 years was my father.

PENIS NEGLECT IS A CRIME

The Stump has been accused in the past by some namby-pamby, tree hugging, nitwits of lacking shall we say intellectual vigour, not to mention some throw backs from the shallow end of the gene pool have been casting doubt on our proud convict origins.

Now normally such bottom feeders are prodded and provoked for personal amusement in the same way a schoolboy burns ants with a magnifying glass (or drowns cats in wheelie bin…aww stop whining..the cats enjoy it, they like to watch the bubbles).

However, a recent incident seems lend some credibility to the lack of intellectual vigour. Read on the for sad and painful tale of woe and a litany of stupid:

Stupid Move 1 – Stump takes up Touch Rugby again after retiring due to age (not that much) and too many knee injuries.

Stupid Move 2 – Stump thinks he is still 20 years of age and manages in a flurry of disconnected leg and arm movement to dislocate a finger.

Stupid Move – 3 Stump agrees to local rememdy of crushed wasps (seriously) and some bizarre cream thingy (actually this is not so stupid, it works like a super charged deep heat cream)

Incredibly STUPID MOVE 4 - Stump goes to urinate behind a tree (as footballers do), forgets about the cream, which is transferred to his family jewels………


HOLY SH****T…… THAT FCKN BURNS….
FLYING DINGO CRAP BATMAN…. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP…


Of course running across a rugby field waving your penis in the air does not bode well for a respectable nick name at the new footy club…..

SMALL PENIS SMALL MIND

Is it time for a rant!!!

…blame Rima
Rima made a comment on my previous post about Chastity belts, and the Stump for one agrees 100%. If fact, the more thought given the issue the more the blood boils at the Stump.

Now apparently under the new electronic transmission laws, we can’t call public official names no matter how much they deserve it (cute law in a democracy hey?). However the Stump assumes (and only assumes) that we are still allowed to have an opinion therefore it is the stumps opinion the instigators of the chastity belt plan are beneath the Stump’s (and every fair minded persons) contempt.

This age old, religious based monkey sh*t that women are the source of all evil and us blokes must be protected from them beggars belief in this day and age.

Yes, exploitation of women (and in some cases, sadly children) is rampant in Indonesia but a chastity belt ..Get Real!!

How about addressing the root causes of such issues!!!

What does the woman do when she is abandoned by the layabout, no hoper husband and she still has kids to feed?

Someone please explain to us, why so many lowlife’s get away with abandoning their families, when every person has to have a Identify Card (KTP)? It’s a joke and it’s a (small minded) man’s world!

How do the vast majority of women get a decent job when the whole society is structured around absolute reliance on the male bread winner?

What emergency relief centres are provided for battered or abused wives?

What hope have the new generation of women got, when a decent education remains the privilege of the elite few?

Chasity Belt indeed!!! A belt is needed but it ain’t a chastity!

I remain confused, a dodgy film in Holland can raise protests in Indonesia but the actual oppression of women like this barely raise an eyebrow. If a public official had even suggested this in the west, he would have been hounded out of office with 24 hours of such an utterance.

As soon as the Stump catches up with technology (which could be awhile), there will be a new section to the blog called "Why doesn't the world take us seriously?" obviously the Chastity Belt will be an entry along with the life sentence handed out to the bloke who waved the (illegal) Maluku Flag in front of the President along side the entry of gaol term for those who shoot judges!...sheer classics..all day every day!

There will also be weekly quiz section (how do you do those box thingys?

This week's question:

On the recent Adam Air Crash, the pilots were busy trying to fix a piece of faulty equipment that had failed in the previous there months:

a. Never

b. One Time

c 10 Times

d. 154 Times

e. 10,000 Times

CHASTITY BELTS & AIRPORTS

Why is it every time I enter Kuala Lumpur Airport I feel like I am an intruder in a huge empty warehouse? Certainly, an efficient and clean edifice but just seems cold an soul-less temple to the doomed. That being said, it does make an interesting comparison with the filthy, broken down nest of petty hustlers that is the Indonesian International Airport.

We had the good fortune to catch the Singapore Airlines A380 to Sydney, flying “cattle class” still got to walk past what must be the biggest business class seats in existence. The stump is seriously impressed!! Recently read on GJ’s blog that when he flew the big bird, the in-flight video kept re-booting, unfortunately this is still the case…Most unlike Singapore Airlines!! Come on guys, you have reputation to maintain.

Coming home was not as much fun, flight times meant I was “Milk Run” bound (doomed). Malaysian Airlines, SYDNEY-BRISBANE-KL-JAK-….. All in all, fairly average flights, staff were great (QANTAS could take a few hints) but the planes were old and tired and it’s a fair mongrel of a trip. To add insult to injury, the sound was faulty on the in flight video and some mongrel knocked off my reading glasses. Still enough bagging the airlines, time to move on to an easier target.

QANTAS baggage handlers (and Malaysia Airlines has already implemented) a 20kg limit per bag, per customer as the poor, precious little things cannot lift anything about 20KG. Awww diddums girls! Are you are kidding 20Kg?? Fair dinkum, it's time for a name change, perhaps QANTAS tissue chuckers would be more descriptive. Perhaps the QANTAS tissue chuckers should see what the average 70kg wringing wet, Indonesian Baggage handler has to deal with, you guys are SOFT!

UPDATE….. Aaaagh, told you Malaysian Airlines are old and tired!! Just been informed there is to be an eight hour delay because our connecting Malaysian Airlines flight is broken. Still they gave out a free hamburger voucher (too bad about the other connecting flights, we have missed tho I guess…BUGGER).

UPDATE 2…Just read that some government (?) Drongo has recommended that the massage girls in his province of Indonesia must wear chastity belts to prevent illicit sex. Seriously, you can’t make this sh#t up. Comic Classics!!

Update 3.. Meanwhile in the second adition of the weekly Indonesian "why don't they take us seriously" awards, apparently “You Tube” has been blocked from a number of Indonesian ISP’s. which is fair enough can’t have the masses getting a different opinion now can we..To the supporters of the censorship laws….you were saying?

LYING LIONS & CHEATING SLIME

Zinnnnnggggg!! Just dropping a line during a 7 hour wait in Singapore Airport (Changi). Still if you have to be stuck in an Airport then Singapore is up there with the better ones.

Everytime I am stuck in Singapore airport. I cannot help but wonder what Indonesia’s elected no-hopers think when they scurry through Singapore on their latest scams, no embarrassment? No shame? It can’t be that hard to have someone clean the toilets, Singapore can do it.

On the plus side arrived Singapore Air, the head wallies wanted me to used QANTAS but that will be cold day in hell! I would use Lion before the overpriced, taxpayer supported mangy roo ..naggh I wouldn’t.. Garuda yes..Lying Airlines..What waste of airspace. Has Lion ever ever had a plane arrive or depart on time? Speaking of bad jokes...

Did you hear the one about the guy who walked up to a woman and said..


“Wow you are beautiful, would you care to sleep with me?”

Woman replies “Don’t be so rude, I am not that sort of girl”

Man replies “I am a very rich man, how about one night of passion for five million dollars”

Woman hesitates “Well..ummm..for Five Million dollars, I guess so”

Man replies “That’s fantastic, what about a night of passion for 20 bucks then”

Woman offended “$20!!! What do you think I am a.... cheap whore!”

Man replies “What you are my dear.. we have already established, now we are just haggling over price”

Why the old joke, just yet another Indonesian government official (lets call him Mr. Slime) was bemoaning his fate at being arrested the other day “Why are they arresting me, I only stole 3 million Rp (about $300)”

In greenstump’s opinion, Mr Slime you are worse that a corrupt, slimey little worm, you are stupid as well. Trouble is people like Mr. Slime and his corrupt cohorts taint every other government official. Seriously does anyone not look at a copper or government official and not think dirt!

This from a government who has the bloody nerve to lecture the rest of us on ethics and responsibility, sheer bloody nerve of these people (and we use the term loosely)is astounding! Speaking of nerve, I hear Roy the Indonesian government, self appointed, cyber king is planning a meeting with the widgets and willy – w… of Indonesian Blogdom to …buggered if we know..never got an invite but then again who cares. How many widgets to a post is not really big over at the stump.

It is amusing to see the so many of the puffed up tossers who seem to think they have the right to decide what is or is not acceptable on the net sell themsleves out for a chance to lick some/..... oops bit graphic...

I might go with ..it is amusing to see such "a conga line of suckholes"....yessss pak...noo paak..

see yas


Have fun and do catch a movie…!

GOING OFF AND GETTING OFF

(picture pinched from Bastards Inc Blog..ok ok I promise a left wing blog link when I come back)

Well..away again for awhile tomorrow (yea..I know..I am confused and PO as well).


Probably not a bad time, the highly offended are highly offended again!
So I will leave you all to the Wilder’s film (Wow didn’t he work the PR machine nicely). Saw it the other night, not sure what the fuss is about, pictures of people claiming to be Muslims, blowing people up, and cutting off heads accompanied by various religious quotations. It has been noticed at the Stump that no-one actually declared any of the information false (so far) just out of context and insulting (which seems to be the catch-all excuse of all time). Seems to the Stump, the people that should be the brunt of the angry is the “lowlifes” who provide such easy material for people such as Wilders.

Kind of bizarre to see Wilder’s banned from Indonesia, but people like XXXX get the Red Carpet treatment. Then again, the Stump heard Wilder was not planning to come unless he could fly Garuda anyway, so he was still waiting for the EU to lift’s its ban. This just proves how unreasonable this man can be. We have better things to do here than worry about practical real life stuff like that.

Oh well, not like we can expect to see commonsense and logic whenever any religion and politics gets involved…

Still, We should be quiet now, as my own spiritual advisor Guru Bob once told me:

“If you are going to criticise someone, first you should walk a mile in their shoes…………………….That way when you criticise them, you are a mile away and you have their shoes”

We seek the Guru’s advice on all major decisions and journeys, on a lighter note he had this to say before our upcoming trip to the lair (liar) of the accountants:

My children, although it is written in the book of counted sorrows

“when one door closes another door opens… ............Far better to go out though the window ...Don't use the door,its just a sneaky trick,

THE SKY IS FALLING

Oh Bugger!! Just when we had sold the beach house moved to the mountains!! Now they tell me the great global warming swindle really is a swindle. You know this has happened before you know. We cornered the Hug Boot market for the great ice age that was due in the 60’s (with a brief come back in the eighties). Nailed the Weetbix market in preparation of the great starvation of the 90’s, fairly cornered the market in anti-personnel mines (thanks Dianna) to stave of the hordes coming over the fence as part of the population explosion disaster that was going to engulf us all.

So now I am left sitting on hill-top with hug boot wearing, weetbix (which also bizarrely describes the supporters of these decade long scams) protected by a phalanx of anti personnel mines (Which also reminds me of the Black Adder sketch – Baldrik “What do we do now we are trapped in a minefield” Black Adder “General Rule of thumb is to throw ourselves a 100 feet into the air, scream aaaagh and burst into a million pieces”).

The Australian Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (with a name like that, you just know it’s a great taxpayer funded department straight up) has reported that over the last ten years any so called increase in the earth’s temperature has plateaued based on research since 2002 using the NASA AQAU satellite. If you go back to 1998 the temperature has in fact decreased (oh oh..time to shake the weeties from the Hug boots?).

This cooling is happening even though there has been a huge increase in CO2 emissions in last ten years over previous years, thanks primarily to countries like China, India and Indonesia..

It would appear that whilst increases in CO2 and other pollutants have an effect on the weather, ol Mother Earth’s weather is rather more robust than some thought and tends to compensate rather rapidly.

Of course, the sceptics amongst us always have trouble with the rants of the rabid greens. The Sydney Morning Herald recently reported that Australia imported four billion plastic bags weighing 22 Million tonnes (the inference being that all these bags were to be force fed down the rare green backed, blue striped, mantra rayed sea turtle by evil capitalist organisations). Sadly this piece of alarmist rant lost some of it’s effect, when some wag pointed out based on those figures each bag weighed 5.5kg..That’s one hell of a plastic bag.

Then of course we had “Earth Hour” nothing like symbolism over substance. Huge claims the effect of the Earth Hour was equal to shutting down two of those evil power stations ..blah..blah..blah..



The Sydney EARTH HOUR, a fractional dip followed by more power used in total than the previous night...

I did love this clip from the ..ANDREW BOLT BLOG

David Solomon, a finance PhD student at the Chicago University’s graduate school of business, crunched Sydney’s power figures to exclude seasonal and daily fluctuations, and concluded… “the drop in electricity use during Earth Hour is statistically indistinguishable from zero.”

For regular readers and complainers that blogs should be all sweetness, light and widgets he makes a good read on how to write a blog on current affairs. Be warned fairly right wing and contrary but never the less a favourite.

Oh another little titbit, Mal Bough the ex Australian Minister for Aborginal Affairs spoke the other day at function and reported the commission for the stolen generations found evidence of sexual abuse at all 45 communities invesigated as part of the report (not some, not the majority but all). Kind of puts a different slant of the removal of children from such environments doesn't. But hey what a few kids in the big picture after all.

STYLE OVER SUBSTANCE

Pesky Accountants, rescheduled their mass attack for later in the month although their attack plan is not as secret as they would think. The buggers have managed to derail a well earned (subjective) field break in the meantime.

The Stump continues to remain in awe of the Indonesian Health Minister as she so focused on busy railing against the evil (?) and neo con World Health Organisation as Indonesia strikes the world record in recorded Bird Flu Deaths. The Stump absolutely agrees. Its all about priorities isn’t it Minister?

Still talking PUBLIC SERVANTS, Indonesian Law Makers (?) have certainly touched a nerve with the new anti-internet Porn bill, which any number of supportive comments in the newspapers suggesting “Porn is Bad”. The Stump absolutely agrees again!

It would be cynical to suggest that the above is symptomatic of the whole system of Style over Substance system of government the people are subjected to. It would be just plain poor taste, to suggest that if you were serious about protecting women and children from sexual exploitation you might actually take on some of the shadow men operating the various and very well known places of ill-repute. Are our erstwhile protectors seriously suggesting they don’t know where these places are? Ask Johnny Hop where he goes for the weekly shakedown.

Lets be clear here, we are not talking the more traditional (?) places of purchased fun and frivolity. Sex for sale is part of the human condition always has existed and despite the wailings of the pious (who seems overly obsessed with it all) always will,
The Stump makes no claim (contrary to some opinions) to moral superiority and has been known to pop down to the odd Blok or area of fun for a quenching ale himself. Personally the Stump finds the line between Predator and Prey at these places distinctly blurred. In fact it is source of amusement as the “NEWBIE” is so smoothly relieved of his extra and not so extra cash resources.

Such places are needed and exist in every society and a certain tolerance tends to keep things on a somewhat even keel. To pretend such places do not exist then by default you deny the existence of far worse stains on our collective society.

Stump has had the misfortune to visit the sickening and revolting “D” streets (and other no so secret areas) that consist of dark, dingy dank establishments where young women are kept like pieces of meat behind glass to picked, chosen and discarded.
Ask yourself which is worse, the lonely old guy playing with his prostate in the comfort of his own home or people trafficker bringing young girls out to sit in a bloody aquarium for the pleasure of serial bastards.

Of course, substance requires a fair degree of moral fortitude and it would be interesting then to see if the plods could look beyond their hip pocket and harassing the women involved and instead chase the shadow men (any bets).

More importantly it would require lawmakers with just a tad of substance above style.

It was once said that “In a democracy people get the government they deserve”
Stump ponders and wonders………..?/

Disclosure: Why was the Stump at that particular D street? We had heard it was famous for its pleasures, a tradition going back hundreds of years…What we found was enough to send us back to the hotel in less than one beer and the Stump is no prude.

FREE SPEECH and.... political agitation

Hey Back already..naagh..thought this was worth stalling the polishing of the armour for...

Government Web Site Attacked..(made more user friendly)

The Jakarta Post reported today that Telecommunication and cyber expert (Self Appointed ??)Roy Suryo, who played a key role in drafting the cyber law, said the attack on the ministry's website was revenge from a porn-lover site.

"I predicted such a move from people opposing the law and the government's move to block the websites with adult content.

"That's why we need public participation to make the action a success," he told The Jakarta Post.

Roy warned the attack was only the first in a series of similar actions against other ministry websites or even more important ones, such as the official sites of the president and the vice president.

He said not only porn-lover sites but also many other people would try to hack the government's websites because those planning to use their blogs or websites to spread political agitation or misleading data could be affected by the law.

"That's why I urge police to investigate the case thoroughly to find the hackers. The police can apply the law ... so they can deal a heavy punishment," he said.

TICK....... TICK......... TICK...Gee who would have suspected it had nothing to do with On Line Porn anyway. Even the most brain dead, intellectually moribund, techno leper would know it would be impossible to ban online porn (whatever happened to parental responsibility)as the vast majority is hosted offshore anyway.

We are still left with the basic questions:

1. What is Porn?

2. What is political agitation? (I would have thought that was part of democratic process, more so than giving away free t-shirts..huh)

3. What is misleading Data?

I wonder who decides the answers to these questions? Roy the Cyber Expert? The local crooked pollie (is there another kind?) who is exposed on the Internet? The very strange man who currently censors the movies on Indonesian TV (Now there's a fella with some serious mental health issues)...mmm the mind boggles!

Anonymous blogging anyone? Still we must thank Roy the Cyber Expert (sounds like a chat room perv doesn't it, I should think up a new name for him that's not the intent..in this case)..

Sorry not links today, having trouble with the internet, must be all the people downloading pictures to assist with Prostate Health.

P.S.

Battle True Battle Strong

Oh Oh As figured those legions of damned, those vile shadow walkers have not been routed on the first defeat.

I have been summoned to the dark, dank, humourless lair of accountants for the final showdown between the forces of light and darkness.

So there will be no posts for some time as we prepare for battle with the words of the BARD in ringing in our ears..

That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
We would not die in that man's company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
This day is call'd the feast of Crispian.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.'
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.'
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words-
Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

SAINT SIAPA

We are all guilty of it, sometimes we just don't think things through enough. What seems to the author as obvious often gets distorted or mixed when looked at from another perspective..

Then there are times ..WHEN WE JUST DON'T THINK...(But its still funny)

I see your last supper and raise you a light switch...

Let's see there is the Patron Saint of Travellers, There is the Patron Saint of Hopeless Causes, A Patron Saint of Fishermen..and this would be the Patron Saint of.............Light Bulbs (What did you think I was gunna say...sheesh)

CHUFFED STUMPS ARE HAPPY STUMPS

Hey… The Stump is kinda chuffed (chuffed = impressed, proud, happy, mixture of all etc etc).

There has been a significant increase in Indonesian Ladies (actually better make that ladies from around the region) popping by to leave a comment or email over the past week or so. Even better not all have called for the Stump to be gelded (Which besides painful, tends to make you want to curl up on top the TV and go to sleep, if Tom Cats are any measure).

Always nice to have a women around to pull us blokes back into line..

Thanks and do leave a comment..

P.S. I will do a link to you all soon under CHUFFED LINKS perhaps.

PROSTATE HEALTH CAN BE FUN

Where was the Stump when this news broke…

According to the New Scientist, 20 Dec 2003 “Masturbation may protect against prostate cancer”

Meanwhile a team from the Cancer Council of Victoria came to the conclusion that the more men ejaculated (with or without partner) between the ages of 20 and 50 the less likely they were to develop prostate cancer..

Aaaggh that’s a relief! Although if I combine this news with what ol Nana used to say, I am going to have the healthiest prostate in the South East Asia but blind as a bat.

Oh well…gotta go… health matters you see..

American Hopes

Amongst all the noise and tomfoolery, I am always amazed at the little pearls of wisdom that pop up on the web (and sometime the absolute stupidity). Sometimes intentional but more often than not these little gems are created in the same way as the pearl as a response to an irritant.

Treespotter is a place the Stump occasionally frequents not that we have anything in common but as I find the place “curious”. However, this little pearl rang true.

“I don’t think America ever truly realized how much the world has come to hope from them.”

Which sums up so much of the Stump Opinion. There is nothing more pathetic listening to the blinkered morons complaining about how evil America is, whilst standing knee deep in human misery of their own making.

Is there anything more pathetic than watching half the nations of the world complain about conditions in Guantanamo Bay detention camp and the legal (or not so) processes that detain people there. A significant number of the finger pointers have far far worse records themselves. To drive a point home, how would Indonesia stand up with a non biased review of its legal processes and the conditions of detainees? Middle East? Australia?

To the Stump, it’s not so much that America has GITMO because in reality there are still very few nations that could stand an honest comparison but why?

We, the rest of the world expected so much more...We hear the morons, the dictators, the despots and the murderers all defaming you but they remain the noisy, obnoxious frauds and lairs they are. The rest of us still want to see what can be rather than what has to be.

Yes, it’s unfair and unrealistic, and probably the first time in human history that a super power has carried so many of the hope sof the world with it. Never the less America remains the light on the hill for so many of the people of the world and we are sad when she displays a little of the dark side that sadly so many people the world have to live with every waking minute.


Another Stolen Pearl tomorrow..which links in a Stump kind of way..

BASHIR PORN

Humanity Poll...Which of the two pictures do you think represents the basest side of humanity?


Life is made up of many choices.. and the Stump is a firm believer in those choices should remain yours alone unless they infringe on the rights of others to enjoy their lives.

I always have concerns when governments want to regulate a concept, it never works, it is subjective and is always always subject to abuse.

The Indonesian Government has decided to regulate against On-Line Porn. A noble endeavour and we look forward to the complimentary legislation outlawing the common cold, the annual floods in Jakarta and rich businessmen taking advantage of the poor.

Now far be it for the stump to sound bitter and holier than thou (I prefer the term sanctimonious bastard by the way). However, a couple of very minor issues raise their ugly, misshapen, ill conceived heads:

Who decides what is pornographic? Last the stump heard, the sexually depressed and public funded were still debating what was porn.

A second minor sticky issue is short of monitoring every piece of Internet traffic, how on earth do they think they could realistically implement the law?

The Stump found this quote in today’s Jakarta Post rather ominous:

“Police are entitled to confiscate evidence from people suspected of violating the law, including their computers” (Based on…. Bloody hell that looks like a nice computer????)

What does this mean? Is the stump and Ms Cute 2008 for the high jump? Does ol smelly gets to continue his words of hate while we lock up every computer with a bit of spam porn on it.

Speaking of spam, whomever has decided that we need longer personal tackle to please our women, please stop sending the emails. I now have enough Viagra at "once only special prices just for me" to build a land bridge from Indonesia to Australia? (Actually, its not quite enough for that, but if I plan the trip an hour ahead and think sexy thoughts it stretches that far)

Personally, the Stump finds that revolting old maggot ABB (aka Ol Smelly)
and bile that spews forth from him in a evil, bitter torrent far more pornographic than anything someone is likely to stumble across trundling the web.

Seriously... Nothing will happen, just another government spinning wheels caper..

Footnote..To those who think Ol Smelly is just a senile ol coot having no impact on Indonesia (aka those who love to ignore the elephants in the room)Just type "bashir indonesian cleric" into Google Search then do the same with VISIT INDONESIA 2008. Thanks for nothing Smelly!

SELF DEFENCE

As regular readers would know, the Stump got suckered into comment infancy over the past few days. Well, one should learn from ones mistakes and I was lucky enough to stumble across a valuable personal internet assesment "HOW MANY FIVE YEAR OLDS COULD YOU TAKE ON IN A FIGHT" (Laugh..who the hell thinks this crap up?). My results are below, which means I have room for 22 more.

28

If you want to see how you would go..try ..here

TWISTED SISTERS

Yikes...

Apparently the Stump has angered some "Twisted Sisters" (Don't get the wrong idea, one is male) with a comment I left on Unspun. It has been decided that the Stump is:

holier than thou (amusing considering my position on religion);
angry about everything (I prefer blogs with passion but what ever rocks ya boat);
Has "hidden superiority feeling towards everything and everyone" (Can't have hidden that well then can I?);
reminds me of an Australian guy who was asking for a flat-white in a nice restaurant, and just because the staff did not understand, as the term flat-white is not common, he got instantly angry (Perhaps getting bloggers mixed up but hey why worry about accuracy when poormans abuse will do);
Oigal has never tried to apply to work in Singapore Airlines (mmm...No..and you have never applied to work at the great lakes city council); and
bitter white men disappointed with life in Indonesia (and who have nowhere else to go)... Yawn....

Not to mention a shedload of other family and personal undesirable values (Both inferred and otherwise)...OOOPS almost forgot anti-Indonesian..(gee what are you guys Indonesian Accountants just waiting a chance to ponce?)


What brought this on...a detailed description of a week long bar crawl in Jakarta, a anti religious post? A sexist description of my dream woman. Nope..It was a fairly innocent post that if you are going selectively imply Western Men disrespect Indonesian women there is an equally if not uglier side of the story closer to home.

Ok, I did made a couple of mistakes, I shall not again

1. I used a family reference as an example of what some women have to put with rather than a general tale.

2. Expected a level of rational discussion

On "1" some people seemed to think they could then use my family as props for their own rationales..My big mistake, their poor taste

On "2" You would reckon I would have learnt by now every discussion has to descend into "What right do you have to say that!"

BTW..Every right to comment, less than some more than most.

One last point..if you going for character assassination at least use some flair..

"you have paid your last respects to the most evil man ever to hold office...a cruel, arrogant deceitful, hypocritical, malevolent, treacherous and lecherous man, one of the worst criminals ever to escape the gallows, a gangster, a thief, a thug, a blackmailer, a ballot rigger, a wife starver,a traitor to his union, a standover man, a giver and taker of bribes, a tyrant and a coward.

Left Wing MP Clyde Robert Cameron to Prime Minister Bob Hawke after Bob attended the funeral of one of Clyde's enemies.

Now trading insults with Clyde would have been interesting (and probably terminal in a literary sense) but makes the rest seem just some much spoilt floss.

Have fun..

P.S. Speaking of profiling...the Stump had to sit for Pysch Profile recently as part of new job application (honest, that was the reason!). So I can give the official recorded version rather than the version so joyfully pointed out by our new posting friends...eer It is not that flattering and funny as all get out (if was about someone else)..You wanna hear?

KARTINI - WE ARE SORRY

Oh Kartini..what happened?

Rob over at therabexperience has taken some offence (As did the Stump) at comments made in some sort of bizarre defence of the immature, sexually insecure behaviour of way too many men in this country. Way to go Rob! Go get em!

As usual for this time of year, it quickly descended into the eternally boring evil Expat routine from the usual suspects plus a new (but hardly refreshing)guest appearance (Grow up kiddies! It’s a big inter-connected world now not one big Kampung). The overt, unhealthy and over bearing Nationalism that is drummed into every child tends to pervade every discussion rational or otherwise but thats another post.

Trouble is the base issue has little to do with “Bules”* but more to do with the insecure, offensive behaviour of a significant number of men to women in Indonesia.
Sexism reigns supreme from blatantly sex job advertisements which dictate age, weight and compulsory picture to behaviour that would earn a slap in the face (or legal action) in most other countries.

To get to the point, the Stump contrary to well meaning (?) albeit incredibly bizarre “advice that women or their spouses/companions should expect such comments or behaviour if that’s how they conduct themselves (sic)” believes there is no excuse or rational for abuse of women in any form.

Unfortunately, it is all too common in Indonesia for women to be subjected to snide remarks, verbal abuse (and worse) by insecure little weasels. The ratio of such attacks increase should that women not meet the somewhat incestuous fantasy of what a women is permitted to do, say, dress or work as or even dare I say it, who she chooses as companion. Of course, I may be way off course here, but I suggest a lot of these perceptions are seriously skewed due to limited social interaction with women during the formative years of youth (If your only real contact with women is your mom, then HELLO MR. BATES..or should that be MASTER BATES).

A number of people suggested that the Stump (and others) should ignore such comments when they are directed people he knows. Sorry I disagree! Although that was the case when I first arrived in country, putting it down to culture and lack of understanding, over the years I have come to realise its got bugger all to with culture its just pure pig ignorance.

It’s the Broken Window theory; far too many people just ignore these morons and they then think such behaviour is acceptable in a civilised society. From the snide remark to someone who does not meet their view who deserves respect, it’s a short walk to gathering in groups in harass someone, to the group that believes it has the right to visit violence on others (an aspect of Indonesia that seems to be growing daily).

The Stump chooses to challenge and humiliate these drongos at the start (with due regard to common sense and safety) and perhaps they will think twice the next time. Personally, the Stump is somewhat despondent at the meek acceptance of uncivilised behaviour by the majority. The traditional "pretend its not happening" or making excuses for such behaviour is creating the kind of country and world that is not fit for our children.

Ok, thats the drum for today..

Remember "Remember

It takes 9 muscles to smile

But only 2 to pick up a metal bar and beat the guy giving us most problems around the head with it.


(Bule = at best an ignorant term, at worst a degrotrary term for anyone with white skin. Fairly literally means Albino. Best Defence on hearing term return greeting with a smile “Yo Chocolate”).

INDONESIAN MONEY MATTERS

Regular readers would know that I am not really keen on the mammalian sub-species called accountants and cats both of which could be called a feral species of no real use to any country. It must be something to with numbers (or something really evil I did in my last life, say watching a full game of soccer) the stump is forever plagued by telephone calls from various dubious, Jakarta based lunatics who claim to be able to manage my money on my behalf and earn me a gazillion dollars return every year.

Invariably, staffed by young, earnest expatriates or smooth talking, worldly nationals or the biggie, the smart trendy young lady but primarily young expatriates, these pseudo accountants dog you day and night unless you are quite rude (the girls are fun tho). Basic checks of their websites (?) and credentials leads you down the path of darkness as you try and discover; where exactly are these people incorporated? What accounting standards do they use? and so forth.

Besides the credential issue, the Stump is confused by one simple premise. If you wackers as so good at picking stock market winners and making a gazillion bucks, why are you working for a living?

A similar money for nothing scam is the “pay for share advice companies” which do huge business in Australia and are starting up here in Indonesia. Have a look at the table of recommendations for in Australia. Fair dinkum the Stump could have done better with a brick and a dartboard.

Best way I have found to deal with these time wasters and cold callers (providing you have a couple hours to kill) is to string them along (its good for a laugh). Once its gets to the crunch and they have virtually guaranteed the 15%-20% plus routine, just ask them for the $1000 surety from their own pocket.

“Mate, you obviously believe in the product and are very sure it’s going to make the returns you have said. How about this then, I will make the investments you suggest but you give me a $1000 of YOUR money. What ever the investment makes, I will add least that much to your $1000 surety. That way if we win..we both win if we lose we both lose..

Stump has had no takers yet!

P.S The Stump recommends by US dollars and lots of them..(of course the Stump’s last big tip was the Iraq Dinah but whose counting/..

RACIST AND SEXIST

Ok, I am probably going to have to delete this post as it is both sexist and politically incorrect/racist (and the Stump always likes to take the moral high ground at personal risk for nose bleeds). However, a good friend sent a funny (yea yea I know) sms after reading the stump's latest post..

"Geez Mate, I could do things with her that would make a poofter vomit"

"Re your sorry post..Did you hear that an Aboriginal Activist rang the Australian Federal Police and said SORRY as well...............but he doesn't know anything about any stolen generators?"

BEER WITH CHINA PLATES

Its friday...and it's been a lonnnng week! Seems like everyone is doing a runner to places that actually cater to tourists rather then make posters up about tourism.

But we are the Stump are trapped for awhile but if all goes well..off to China later in the year to visit a sister manufacturing company (They were going to do it here but after 12 months of inconsistant tax rulings and start up regulations decided to pass).

Anyway, as I said off to China to see a factory...naagh..I am lying..I wanna see THIS!!!!!!!!! (We miss the Indcoup girls!!)



Its ok the mystic princess said I can look but not touch!!

So enjoy your weekend..and remember the words of the famous Henry Lawson..

"Beer makes you feel the way you should without drinking beer"

FGM (Coming to a child near you)

Just a quick one today and a plug for Indonesian Matters
and Indonesia Anonymus.
I stole the graphics from their sites. However, I think both topics and posts are worth a very hard look. As for the picture of evil above, it sums up my opinion of Female (and male for that matter) Genital Mutilation.

FGM ….Its wrong, It's Barbaric, It's Primitive = IT'S EVIL

Of course, feel free to disagree and comment but don't bother here, anybody who supports this kind of child abuse can take a long hike with a blunt knife and go slash their own appendages to their hearts content.

Does any human really doubt there is not a correlation between the top picture and the bottom graphic (Graphic relates spending on basic education by country, Indonesia is the bottom line ..surprise, surprise).



Indonesia shameful spend on Education (not shortage of new government cars tho) click to enlarge

WANKERS

YES..AND THEY WALK AMONG US



Sorry all, the Stump has been really remiss in posting of late but busy fighting off that mammalian parasitic sub-species commonly known accountants (Who else would have the nerve to descend upon the innocent worker bees to discuss their very future at the same time insisting upon flying business class and staying in Five Star hotels).

Never the less, we appear to be having some success in warding off their evil designs although one should never under-underestimate the many faces of “the accountant”.

Took awhile, but the “Sorry” post is beginning to drag out the “noble savage” dreamers and the Stump will revisit this issue later as it deserves a more researched approach.

In the meantime, I must thank today’s Jakarta Post humour page (also known as Readers Forum) for inspiration for today’s lazy post.

WAHID writing about the upcoming Jakarta Jazz Festival states

“If it doesn't cost your government or people a cent, go ahead and do it, but don't be fooled by the 'culture' content.
Jazz is celebrated by the oldies who are tired of musical finesse, and is enjoyed with barrels of beer to warm up spent and waning sexual desires.
Pity your beautiful dames as victims of Western predators, all under the banner of culture.”
WAHID
Kuala Lumpur

Fortunately it appears WAHID is in KL, which would have to go down as a good thing for Indonesia. Although I must admit a perverse joy in discovering my blog sparring partner Jakartass as a Jazz devotee has been finally exposed as an “Oldie, western predator with no musical finesse, with a spent sexual desire who lives in a barrel of beer” (Although being an Englishman, it would of course not be real beer just warm treacle). All this time I thought his major character flaws were his support for that bloody round ball game and distinct tilt to the left. Just goes to show….

On the other hand, our “CIGAR” time Blogger.. DILLIGAF has a quaint but very apt phrase for these talking mammals (Wahid not J) starts with F and ends with Witt). Not a term normally found on the Stump blog but sometimes a word just fits.

P.S. Who the hell, uses the word “Dame” anymore? Studying English from old B&W movies does has it’s drawbacks it would appear.

PPS. Post might be a bit infrequent over the next few weeks as we continue our crusade against the shadows of evil. You may wish to spend some time at the non-anonymous blogs, don’t forget to buy something..Tee hee..

Disclosure 1: The Stump is a not so secret JAZZ fan... yet to hear a wailer compare to the Magnificent Ella..now if they played that from the Mosques at prayer time..

Disclosure 2: The Stump Blog, sells no widgets, hosts no conferences, does not presume to known the ulitmate purpose of Blogs.