Tuesday, December 18, 2007
A FOOTBALL IS NOT ROUND
As you know I am a liberal, easy going bloke who is at home with my own thoughts and at peace with the world. It takes a lot to get me to rant and rave BUUUUUUTTTTTTTTT…
The bitch should be horse whipped within an inch of her life and placed in the village stocks for a month and then deported to the worst place on earth or a date with buck toothed, crazy ABB.
Over the top you may think, I can assure you that is not the case. I am sure every reasonable, rational male will agree with me that she should be horse whipped, once I outline the transgressions against the natural order of things.
Prepare to shake your head in woe as I relate this sad tale of perversion.,,
There I was innocently watching the Australian Sports News (beamed by Sat from Australia to ensure sanity amongst its wandering sons and daughters, cast adrift in the wide scary world). When the pretty (but ultimately evil) News presenter stated “Stay tuned for the annual footballer of the year award” Naturally, this raised a puzzled look on my face, the Brownlow had been awarded, as had the Magarey Medals…What on earth, was this bint on about?
Straight after the break, she then launched into a tirade about the = medal being football’s most sought after and went straight to the news clip…..
It was BLOODY SOCCER not FOOTBALL you heretic piece of uneducated fluff!
You remember soccer, half a dozen guys who through various accidents have lost the use of exactly half of their appendages run around chasing a round ball. Meanwhile some dodgy crowd straight from the soup kitchens chants monosyllabic incantations to accompany the rioting (seen the film 28 days later, thats live english soccer footage). Well sheeeet…what else are they gunna do there is no scoring. Then after two hours of this, everyone lines up and kicks the ball at some wanker in front of a fish net (or wearing fish nets, I dunno never lasted that long to see it).
In fact upon calm, reasoned reflection, I have decided horse whipping is too good for her and her multi cultural, lesbian, leftist, whale saving, pillow biting, latte sipping, salad munching mates.
THERE’S FOOTBALL (OZ RULES), THERE’S RUGBY AND THERE’S CRICKET..
THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE!
I have not been this angry since JC got to play half back flank for Jerusalem under the Father Son rule in the GRAND FINAL against the Romans.
Please note: regular rants will appear after a suitable period of mourning for the loss of cultural integrity.