Wednesday, April 30, 2008


There is little doubt that the teaching of History and Social Science in Indonesia could at best be called perverse. Never the less every so often people put pen to paper with statements that simply leave the Stump GOBSMACKED and provides yet another entry in "WHY DON'T THEY TAKE US SERIOUSLY" journal.

Check out this classic piece from today's Jakarta Post Letters section

History Revision 1. The Indonesian Military was invited into East Timor by the Nationalist Group of East Timor (Who???) I guess he means like the Dutch went invited into Indonesia by some local Regents at the time (Do have read of Raffles in Indonesia if you want a real laughable account of Indonesian Regents double doubling at the expense of their they say the more things change...)

History Revision 2. No Christmas before the Indonesians came .... I bet that's news to the Catholic East Timorese and Portuguese (and not suggesting the Ports are the good guys here..but the statment..WTF.

History Revision 3. The posts of UN Secretary General and Portuguese President were all held by Ramos Horta ..Busy little bugger wasn't he.

Although to be fair, the writer is correct that it is to the Australian Labor Party's and its leftist flunkies eternal shame, they sold out so easy and looked the other way during the invasion (which took far longer than the Indonesian Military thought until British Supplied Combat systems turned the tide)

For such slush like this still to be touted without belly laughs in public, shows how far is yet to be traveled in the interests of freedom and democracy.

As a disclaimer, don't for a second think the Stump falls in the camp of those groups that resisted the Indonesia presence. Contrary to the nice, noble myth of the brave Freedom Fighter, they proved time and again that they held own in random unjustified violence, torture and cruelty to innocents.

Oh...Want see an interesting reaction?..Next time you meet a senior Indonesian Official who says he was in Tim Tim prior to independence ask him "So did you ever get a chance to see Aturo?"

BTW.. Dili is not a big city and their ain't no others..

On the lighter side

The Jakarta Post without fail provides a daily belly laugh as well..take this quote on a piece about the arrest of some robbers at the airport.

"He said all four suspected resisted arrest forcing officers to shoot them in the legs." ...Suree they did..chuckle"

Tuesday, April 29, 2008


Treespotter wrote of his concerns that the Stump was setting a record for Penis Posts. The Stumps official position on this is well, SIZE DOES MATTER.

However in the interests of Occupational Health and Safety and in accordance with the newly government mandated CSR policies, the following is a public service announcement.

Sunday, April 27, 2008


Waking up at 3 am on ANZAC DAY watching him get ready for the ANZAC Day March had been a tradition going back as far as one could remember. The once a year suit, the searching for the impossibly large array of medals to be pinned onto the left breast pocket, the Pacific Star, the Africa Star and all the others representing battles, trials and tribulations long forgotten and in many cases never even heard of by most of us.

By 5am, we would be looking on, as he would be standing in the cold pre-dawn light exchanging muted greetings of other like dressed, once a year comrades. Occasionally a blustering laugh would be heard as some nearly forgotten story of the past was regaled in all its absurd glory. Just before dawn a solemn silence seem to overtake the clusters of people standing in barley visible groups who had formed as if by some secret order that only those who had served understood. As the night fell away and invariably in light rain, the prayers for the fallen would begin at the site of the places of remembrance at thousands of places across the Australia and the world.

Later that day, they would march in memory of their friends and people who often were only forgotten names but vividly remembered faces and places. By mid morning, rum and coffee was being shared and stories expounded amid great gales of laughter, which was our indication that it was time for some of us to head home a leave the old warriors to their tales. Sometime that evening he would return usually more than a little drunk, but we were already asleep.

As we got older we noticed the laughter was not as forthcoming as it was in the past. One night when I was older, I heard him arrive but it was a quiet homecoming. I got up and walked outside, turning on the lights.

I saw something then that had never been seen before in this rock of man. He had been sitting in the dark with tears rolling down his face, quietly I asked him what was wrong, for a long time he just sat there with his hand tousling my hair. Finally he shook and said in a wavering voice I had never heard before:

“There was a man whose name I cannot even remember. We were in the Alexandria Army Hospital in the Middle East, he was a soldier who had suffered horrific combat injuries but by far the worst was the shrapnel had ripped the lower part of his face and jaw clean from his body. He could not talk, and could not eat and must have known he was going to die far from his home. In constant pain, all we could do was try and keep him calm as we waited for him to die.

For over a week, expect for those miracles times he would lapse into unconsciousness, this poor bugger would thrash and moan. Every day I would be forced to restrain him by holding his arms to his sides. He would try and force my arms to the ground at the sides of the stretcher and I would hold him down day after day. I shouldn’t have but I did swear at him and curse him as we struggled.

The one day, during one of our struggles, he just stopped trying and passed away.

Later that day, the nurses came and cleaned the stretcher and sheets, as they moved the stretcher. We noticed a cardboard box. We opened it and it contained over a dozen unopened letters from his wife and family.

Apparently these letters had been following him around the battle field for many months and finally caught up with him in the hospital. Some over worked orderly must have placed them under his stretcher at some time before he had time to read them to the soldier.

All this time, I had fought, restrained and cursed this poor bugger, all he was ever was trying to do was reach the letters under his bed. To hear from his loved ones before he died.

We did open one of the letters you know; his wife had enclosed pictures of his baby son..

Jesus..boy..All the poor bastard wanted was to see his son and I stopped him!”

Disclosure..The above is a true story..The man carrying that burden for 60 years was my father.

Friday, April 18, 2008


The Stump has been accused in the past by some namby-pamby, tree hugging, nitwits of lacking shall we say intellectual vigour, not to mention some throw backs from the shallow end of the gene pool have been casting doubt on our proud convict origins.

Now normally such bottom feeders are prodded and provoked for personal amusement in the same way a schoolboy burns ants with a magnifying glass (or drowns cats in wheelie bin…aww stop whining..the cats enjoy it, they like to watch the bubbles).

However, a recent incident seems lend some credibility to the lack of intellectual vigour. Read on the for sad and painful tale of woe and a litany of stupid:

Stupid Move 1 – Stump takes up Touch Rugby again after retiring due to age (not that much) and too many knee injuries.

Stupid Move 2 – Stump thinks he is still 20 years of age and manages in a flurry of disconnected leg and arm movement to dislocate a finger.

Stupid Move – 3 Stump agrees to local rememdy of crushed wasps (seriously) and some bizarre cream thingy (actually this is not so stupid, it works like a super charged deep heat cream)

Incredibly STUPID MOVE 4 - Stump goes to urinate behind a tree (as footballers do), forgets about the cream, which is transferred to his family jewels………


Of course running across a rugby field waving your penis in the air does not bode well for a respectable nick name at the new footy club…..

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


Is it time for a rant!!!

…blame Rima
Rima made a comment on my previous post about Chastity belts, and the Stump for one agrees 100%. If fact, the more thought given the issue the more the blood boils at the Stump.

Now apparently under the new electronic transmission laws, we can’t call public official names no matter how much they deserve it (cute law in a democracy hey?). However the Stump assumes (and only assumes) that we are still allowed to have an opinion therefore it is the stumps opinion the instigators of the chastity belt plan are beneath the Stump’s (and every fair minded persons) contempt.

This age old, religious based monkey sh*t that women are the source of all evil and us blokes must be protected from them beggars belief in this day and age.

Yes, exploitation of women (and in some cases, sadly children) is rampant in Indonesia but a chastity belt ..Get Real!!

How about addressing the root causes of such issues!!!

What does the woman do when she is abandoned by the layabout, no hoper husband and she still has kids to feed?

Someone please explain to us, why so many lowlife’s get away with abandoning their families, when every person has to have a Identify Card (KTP)? It’s a joke and it’s a (small minded) man’s world!

How do the vast majority of women get a decent job when the whole society is structured around absolute reliance on the male bread winner?

What emergency relief centres are provided for battered or abused wives?

What hope have the new generation of women got, when a decent education remains the privilege of the elite few?

Chasity Belt indeed!!! A belt is needed but it ain’t a chastity!

I remain confused, a dodgy film in Holland can raise protests in Indonesia but the actual oppression of women like this barely raise an eyebrow. If a public official had even suggested this in the west, he would have been hounded out of office with 24 hours of such an utterance.

As soon as the Stump catches up with technology (which could be awhile), there will be a new section to the blog called "Why doesn't the world take us seriously?" obviously the Chastity Belt will be an entry along with the life sentence handed out to the bloke who waved the (illegal) Maluku Flag in front of the President along side the entry of gaol term for those who shoot judges!...sheer classics..all day every day!

There will also be weekly quiz section (how do you do those box thingys?

This week's question:

On the recent Adam Air Crash, the pilots were busy trying to fix a piece of faulty equipment that had failed in the previous there months:

a. Never

b. One Time

c 10 Times

d. 154 Times

e. 10,000 Times

Tuesday, April 15, 2008


Why is it every time I enter Kuala Lumpur Airport I feel like I am an intruder in a huge empty warehouse? Certainly, an efficient and clean edifice but just seems cold an soul-less temple to the doomed. That being said, it does make an interesting comparison with the filthy, broken down nest of petty hustlers that is the Indonesian International Airport.

We had the good fortune to catch the Singapore Airlines A380 to Sydney, flying “cattle class” still got to walk past what must be the biggest business class seats in existence. The stump is seriously impressed!! Recently read on GJ’s blog that when he flew the big bird, the in-flight video kept re-booting, unfortunately this is still the case…Most unlike Singapore Airlines!! Come on guys, you have reputation to maintain.

Coming home was not as much fun, flight times meant I was “Milk Run” bound (doomed). Malaysian Airlines, SYDNEY-BRISBANE-KL-JAK-….. All in all, fairly average flights, staff were great (QANTAS could take a few hints) but the planes were old and tired and it’s a fair mongrel of a trip. To add insult to injury, the sound was faulty on the in flight video and some mongrel knocked off my reading glasses. Still enough bagging the airlines, time to move on to an easier target.

QANTAS baggage handlers (and Malaysia Airlines has already implemented) a 20kg limit per bag, per customer as the poor, precious little things cannot lift anything about 20KG. Awww diddums girls! Are you are kidding 20Kg?? Fair dinkum, it's time for a name change, perhaps QANTAS tissue chuckers would be more descriptive. Perhaps the QANTAS tissue chuckers should see what the average 70kg wringing wet, Indonesian Baggage handler has to deal with, you guys are SOFT!

UPDATE….. Aaaagh, told you Malaysian Airlines are old and tired!! Just been informed there is to be an eight hour delay because our connecting Malaysian Airlines flight is broken. Still they gave out a free hamburger voucher (too bad about the other connecting flights, we have missed tho I guess…BUGGER).

UPDATE 2…Just read that some government (?) Drongo has recommended that the massage girls in his province of Indonesia must wear chastity belts to prevent illicit sex. Seriously, you can’t make this sh#t up. Comic Classics!!

Update 3.. Meanwhile in the second adition of the weekly Indonesian "why don't they take us seriously" awards, apparently “You Tube” has been blocked from a number of Indonesian ISP’s. which is fair enough can’t have the masses getting a different opinion now can we..To the supporters of the censorship laws….you were saying?

Monday, April 07, 2008


Zinnnnnggggg!! Just dropping a line during a 7 hour wait in Singapore Airport (Changi). Still if you have to be stuck in an Airport then Singapore is up there with the better ones.

Everytime I am stuck in Singapore airport. I cannot help but wonder what Indonesia’s elected no-hopers think when they scurry through Singapore on their latest scams, no embarrassment? No shame? It can’t be that hard to have someone clean the toilets, Singapore can do it.

On the plus side arrived Singapore Air, the head wallies wanted me to used QANTAS but that will be cold day in hell! I would use Lion before the overpriced, taxpayer supported mangy roo ..naggh I wouldn’t.. Garuda yes..Lying Airlines..What waste of airspace. Has Lion ever ever had a plane arrive or depart on time? Speaking of bad jokes...

Did you hear the one about the guy who walked up to a woman and said..

“Wow you are beautiful, would you care to sleep with me?”

Woman replies “Don’t be so rude, I am not that sort of girl”

Man replies “I am a very rich man, how about one night of passion for five million dollars”

Woman hesitates “Well..ummm..for Five Million dollars, I guess so”

Man replies “That’s fantastic, what about a night of passion for 20 bucks then”

Woman offended “$20!!! What do you think I am a.... cheap whore!”

Man replies “What you are my dear.. we have already established, now we are just haggling over price”

Why the old joke, just yet another Indonesian government official (lets call him Mr. Slime) was bemoaning his fate at being arrested the other day “Why are they arresting me, I only stole 3 million Rp (about $300)”

In greenstump’s opinion, Mr Slime you are worse that a corrupt, slimey little worm, you are stupid as well. Trouble is people like Mr. Slime and his corrupt cohorts taint every other government official. Seriously does anyone not look at a copper or government official and not think dirt!

This from a government who has the bloody nerve to lecture the rest of us on ethics and responsibility, sheer bloody nerve of these people (and we use the term loosely)is astounding! Speaking of nerve, I hear Roy the Indonesian government, self appointed, cyber king is planning a meeting with the widgets and willy – w… of Indonesian Blogdom to …buggered if we know..never got an invite but then again who cares. How many widgets to a post is not really big over at the stump.

It is amusing to see the so many of the puffed up tossers who seem to think they have the right to decide what is or is not acceptable on the net sell themsleves out for a chance to lick some/..... oops bit graphic...

I might go with is amusing to see such "a conga line of suckholes"....yessss pak...noo paak..

see yas

Have fun and do catch a movie…!

Wednesday, April 02, 2008


(picture pinched from Bastards Inc Blog..ok ok I promise a left wing blog link when I come back)

Well..away again for awhile tomorrow (yea..I know..I am confused and PO as well).

Probably not a bad time, the highly offended are highly offended again!
So I will leave you all to the Wilder’s film (Wow didn’t he work the PR machine nicely). Saw it the other night, not sure what the fuss is about, pictures of people claiming to be Muslims, blowing people up, and cutting off heads accompanied by various religious quotations. It has been noticed at the Stump that no-one actually declared any of the information false (so far) just out of context and insulting (which seems to be the catch-all excuse of all time). Seems to the Stump, the people that should be the brunt of the angry is the “lowlifes” who provide such easy material for people such as Wilders.

Kind of bizarre to see Wilder’s banned from Indonesia, but people like XXXX get the Red Carpet treatment. Then again, the Stump heard Wilder was not planning to come unless he could fly Garuda anyway, so he was still waiting for the EU to lift’s its ban. This just proves how unreasonable this man can be. We have better things to do here than worry about practical real life stuff like that.

Oh well, not like we can expect to see commonsense and logic whenever any religion and politics gets involved…

Still, We should be quiet now, as my own spiritual advisor Guru Bob once told me:

“If you are going to criticise someone, first you should walk a mile in their shoes…………………….That way when you criticise them, you are a mile away and you have their shoes”

We seek the Guru’s advice on all major decisions and journeys, on a lighter note he had this to say before our upcoming trip to the lair (liar) of the accountants:

My children, although it is written in the book of counted sorrows

“when one door closes another door opens… ............Far better to go out though the window ...Don't use the door,its just a sneaky trick,

Tuesday, April 01, 2008


Oh Bugger!! Just when we had sold the beach house moved to the mountains!! Now they tell me the great global warming swindle really is a swindle. You know this has happened before you know. We cornered the Hug Boot market for the great ice age that was due in the 60’s (with a brief come back in the eighties). Nailed the Weetbix market in preparation of the great starvation of the 90’s, fairly cornered the market in anti-personnel mines (thanks Dianna) to stave of the hordes coming over the fence as part of the population explosion disaster that was going to engulf us all.

So now I am left sitting on hill-top with hug boot wearing, weetbix (which also bizarrely describes the supporters of these decade long scams) protected by a phalanx of anti personnel mines (Which also reminds me of the Black Adder sketch – Baldrik “What do we do now we are trapped in a minefield” Black Adder “General Rule of thumb is to throw ourselves a 100 feet into the air, scream aaaagh and burst into a million pieces”).

The Australian Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (with a name like that, you just know it’s a great taxpayer funded department straight up) has reported that over the last ten years any so called increase in the earth’s temperature has plateaued based on research since 2002 using the NASA AQAU satellite. If you go back to 1998 the temperature has in fact decreased (oh oh..time to shake the weeties from the Hug boots?).

This cooling is happening even though there has been a huge increase in CO2 emissions in last ten years over previous years, thanks primarily to countries like China, India and Indonesia..

It would appear that whilst increases in CO2 and other pollutants have an effect on the weather, ol Mother Earth’s weather is rather more robust than some thought and tends to compensate rather rapidly.

Of course, the sceptics amongst us always have trouble with the rants of the rabid greens. The Sydney Morning Herald recently reported that Australia imported four billion plastic bags weighing 22 Million tonnes (the inference being that all these bags were to be force fed down the rare green backed, blue striped, mantra rayed sea turtle by evil capitalist organisations). Sadly this piece of alarmist rant lost some of it’s effect, when some wag pointed out based on those figures each bag weighed 5.5kg..That’s one hell of a plastic bag.

Then of course we had “Earth Hour” nothing like symbolism over substance. Huge claims the effect of the Earth Hour was equal to shutting down two of those evil power stations ..blah..blah..blah..

The Sydney EARTH HOUR, a fractional dip followed by more power used in total than the previous night...

I did love this clip from the ..ANDREW BOLT BLOG

David Solomon, a finance PhD student at the Chicago University’s graduate school of business, crunched Sydney’s power figures to exclude seasonal and daily fluctuations, and concluded… “the drop in electricity use during Earth Hour is statistically indistinguishable from zero.”

For regular readers and complainers that blogs should be all sweetness, light and widgets he makes a good read on how to write a blog on current affairs. Be warned fairly right wing and contrary but never the less a favourite.

Oh another little titbit, Mal Bough the ex Australian Minister for Aborginal Affairs spoke the other day at function and reported the commission for the stolen generations found evidence of sexual abuse at all 45 communities invesigated as part of the report (not some, not the majority but all). Kind of puts a different slant of the removal of children from such environments doesn't. But hey what a few kids in the big picture after all.


Pesky Accountants, rescheduled their mass attack for later in the month although their attack plan is not as secret as they would think. The buggers have managed to derail a well earned (subjective) field break in the meantime.

The Stump continues to remain in awe of the Indonesian Health Minister as she so focused on busy railing against the evil (?) and neo con World Health Organisation as Indonesia strikes the world record in recorded Bird Flu Deaths. The Stump absolutely agrees. Its all about priorities isn’t it Minister?

Still talking PUBLIC SERVANTS, Indonesian Law Makers (?) have certainly touched a nerve with the new anti-internet Porn bill, which any number of supportive comments in the newspapers suggesting “Porn is Bad”. The Stump absolutely agrees again!

It would be cynical to suggest that the above is symptomatic of the whole system of Style over Substance system of government the people are subjected to. It would be just plain poor taste, to suggest that if you were serious about protecting women and children from sexual exploitation you might actually take on some of the shadow men operating the various and very well known places of ill-repute. Are our erstwhile protectors seriously suggesting they don’t know where these places are? Ask Johnny Hop where he goes for the weekly shakedown.

Lets be clear here, we are not talking the more traditional (?) places of purchased fun and frivolity. Sex for sale is part of the human condition always has existed and despite the wailings of the pious (who seems overly obsessed with it all) always will,
The Stump makes no claim (contrary to some opinions) to moral superiority and has been known to pop down to the odd Blok or area of fun for a quenching ale himself. Personally the Stump finds the line between Predator and Prey at these places distinctly blurred. In fact it is source of amusement as the “NEWBIE” is so smoothly relieved of his extra and not so extra cash resources.

Such places are needed and exist in every society and a certain tolerance tends to keep things on a somewhat even keel. To pretend such places do not exist then by default you deny the existence of far worse stains on our collective society.

Stump has had the misfortune to visit the sickening and revolting “D” streets (and other no so secret areas) that consist of dark, dingy dank establishments where young women are kept like pieces of meat behind glass to picked, chosen and discarded.
Ask yourself which is worse, the lonely old guy playing with his prostate in the comfort of his own home or people trafficker bringing young girls out to sit in a bloody aquarium for the pleasure of serial bastards.

Of course, substance requires a fair degree of moral fortitude and it would be interesting then to see if the plods could look beyond their hip pocket and harassing the women involved and instead chase the shadow men (any bets).

More importantly it would require lawmakers with just a tad of substance above style.

It was once said that “In a democracy people get the government they deserve”
Stump ponders and wonders………..?/

Disclosure: Why was the Stump at that particular D street? We had heard it was famous for its pleasures, a tradition going back hundreds of years…What we found was enough to send us back to the hotel in less than one beer and the Stump is no prude.