Sunday, December 24, 2006


To All,

I am off to take a well earned (I reckon anyway) break...

Have a great, safe and happy Christmas and New Year..

Who knows Indonesia may even get a Christmas Present and the "Brothers Grimm" may be brought to account before the law!!


If a goat, cow or turkey comes a knocking...Refugee status applies at this time of year

Wednesday, December 20, 2006


Personally I had grave doubts about Iraq long before the WMD proved so damn hard to find. No doubt that Saddam was a murderous bastard but then it’s not like there are not another dozen like him in the world.

Of course, there is a certain amount of selective blindness on both sides of the equation. Its interesting to note the outrage of some parts of the world in regard to Iraq but absolute silence to the genocide in Sudan (a large number of those being slaughtered being Sudanese Muslims but apparently the "Animal Farm" theory is in effect here). Even more revolting is the simpering greetings give to Sudanese Ambassadors by ...Ahem...some governments.

Still back to Iraq whilst not funny the following highlights the folly of it all.


Monday, December 18, 2006

Gloating I am

I shouldn't gloat but...I as a confirmed Cricket Tragic, I can't help myself so...

Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came out, fireman,policeman,salesman, chippy, captain of industry etc, but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him." The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little Billy aside to ask him if that was really true. "No" said Billy, "He plays cricket for England but I was just too embarrassed to say."

As for the real news besides again pasting the English in the traditional manner expected, the best Headline from the WACA was:

Privilege to watch three musketeers put England to sword
"Only the most hard-hearted rejoiced at the disintegration of the elite of English cricket, but it was a privilege to witness batsmen of the calibre of Michael Hussey, Adam Gilchrist and Michael Clarke in full cry"

Gilchrist was in full cry too, 24 of six balls and the same poor "bowler" and 100 in 57 balls..

Oh well is good!!

Saturday, December 16, 2006

King Prawn Cricket

Another Cricket Test is underway (Still cannot watch it here..bugger!) and some of my associates have been kind enough to send me pictures of themselves enjoying the match from a Corporate Box. This raises two questions; Who did they kill for tickets? Would it be considered bad form, if I send them a King Prawn by snail mail for xmas?

Undercover Cookie. has been kind enough to correct my post on the cricket. It’s the Barmy Army not Balmy Army although UC should be careful correcting my spelling errors it is a full time job with very low pay and job satisfaction.

UC further states that like millions of other poor souls, she really has not got the hang of cricket yet. She should not be disappointed, it’s like reading a Joseph Conrad novel, an acquired taste requiring concentration and dedication but once acquired everything else is just a pale imitations.

By the way, if you like reading, do try some Joseph Conrad. Enjoy the magnificent use of words to paint a picture. Its interesting to note that English was not even JC’s first language yet he puts all to shame before his prose. Wilbur Smith could only dream such ability.

On lighter news (or should that be lightweight news). Despite the fact my Trolls have obviously died and been recycled as road way humps, there is a sort of competition to decide what is the correct plural term for Trolls. Some early suggestions include:

Herd, Cluster, and personal favorite a ‘Nuisance of Trolls” (Thanks UC). Of course some of the more non PC had to be ruled out for legal reasons i.e. A LAPINDO of Trolls or a Bakery (sic) of Trolls. Anyway feel free to post any suggestions. The winner will be re-directed to Treespotters site as with his untold wealth, he is always giving away prizes like two tickets to Disney On Ice in Tehran or such like (I can only afford to throw in a free Bintang).

Anyway, winding down to Christmas and a holiday in beautiful Bali..Countdown has begun.

P.S. The Poms are losing the cricket again..oh the joy..the joooyyy…

P.P.S. Rumour has it (and I missed it) that Beheadings in Iraq were aired on national TV Today. Note to the "Powers that be" (Or Idiots that are) you only look very very stupid and ignorant when you complain about people kissing on TV but allow beheadings to aired in prime time (let alone any other time). What sad twisted values some people (?) have.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Im Back...Where's the Troll?

Been a bit crook (sick) and at the same time busy traveling around a bit so my blogging has been more slack of late. I think my trolls have died of neglect (similar to real life I suppose).

Still not all is lost, Treespotter has been exposed as one of the pasty Balmy Army. After all I have written, bleated, blabbed, moaned and groaned about! It is my post on the miserable effort by the POM’s in the first Ashes Cricket Test that leads him to accuse me of cultural superiority.

Tough!!…Did I tell youse, the Poms got flogged, shellacked(?), beaten, trounced, whipped and burnt in the Second Ashes test as well. I did get some advice where the cricket could be viewed but not being a Jakarta lad, I am doomed to internet streaming (at glacial download speed, I think that’s Wally Grout coming up to wicket keep now)

Other things of note; It looks like a former GAM fighter will be governor of Aceh which is sure to make the “powers that be” in Jakarta more than a tad jittery. I can have a second girlfriend and/or wife (although apparently my penis will be removed, which kinda defeats the purpose). Sorry if you don't get the last one. Its been all the rage lately in Indonesia if it is right or not to take one wife or two, three or even four ok five then. It has been quite a talking point (the topic not the wives).

There is a BLOGFEST on this Friday?? See Jakartass for details..

Oh and I nearly forgot... Vice Prez Kalla reckons (and I paraphrase here)”The current anti corruption drive is making government officials to scared to do their jobs and therefore stalling numerous projects” I must be a cynic..Does that mean they don’t how to perform their duties without being corrupt..nagh couldn’t be!!
Some one really needs to a book on our Kalla, the US has its Bushisms we could have our Kallams, its only fair why should the yanks have all the fun.

My own personal view is that the current (oops anti-corruption) corruption drive is all arse about. I don’t believe for a minute that the average Indonesian is any more corrupt than anyone else. The vast majority of (all) people will take advantage if they think they can get away with no consequences. The difference being is a free and robust professional press/media is just waiting to shame you. Name any country with a free and robust press and you will find them near the top of the anti-corruption tree..Name any country with a restricted, muzzled, pliant press and you will find them languishing at the bottom of the corruption tree (where the manure collects).

Of course, that means activists should not die on national carriers, reporters should be protected not beaten up or killed, and editors should not have to face long and lengthy trials for publishing unpopular stories (nor have their homes seized).

Free the press, Free the nation.

Lastly, according to the Jakarta Post today "20 Greenpeace Supporters were jailed for protesting the destruction of Indonesian Forests. Interesting...there are currently……..0, zilch, nada in custody for covering hundreds of homes in mud. . Yosef Ardi has interesting post on the topic here.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

WHERE'S THE CRICKET - Ashes to Ashes


Whilst I have made Indonesia my home, pay my taxes and rave at the lack of leadership and short term greed as any responsible person should (despite the more xenophobic amongst us insisting we are guests, sorry guys welcome to the new world of globisation). There are times when the longing for the country of your birth becomes a weight only a draught horse could bear.

Today is one of those times. The Ashes tour has started and there is no bloody coverage !!

Ah the ASHES....England and Australia play a number of 5 day long cricket matches to decide who gets to take the ASHES home. Not to be able to bear witness to this, is tantamount to denying your heritage. (More on the Ashes history later if you want).


In Indonesia we have pay tv (of sorts) called Indovision on which you can find endless suburban english and italian soccer matches (yawn), roller girls (sexy but pointless), sheep dog trials (plead the 5th), caber tossing (tough on mr caber)but cricket??? Not on your life. I would have thought with the large Indian, English, Oz, NZ population, the cricket was a "monty" but nope, just plenty of repeats of TNA "wrestling" ...BUGGER!!

Still on cricket, I notice the Indians are still pissed at the oz team who gave the "short shift" to the stuffed shirt official who would not get out of the road for the team photo after Australia's magnificent win recently in India. Bad luck is grinners..

Back to Indovision, Lose the Ads!! Your service is already over priced for what is provided and lame ads only pisses paying customers off. Certainly, I will never bank BCA after the current and endlessly repeated commercials

Once again .....WHERE'S THE CRICKET!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Geez I'm Crook!

As some have you may have noticed (ok one of you..thanks T/S) I have not been posting for awhile. The stump has had to relocate for a couple of reasons. One, the house contract was up and two, the old place was subject one to many break-ins. The view overlooking the fields out the back was great but also provided a great escape route for local "Ali Barbers".

Move completed and I have the internet up and running again. Of course we still have to got through all the usual gump. First off is reporting to the local RT. The “RT” is sort qausi-goverment officer, cum village head, cum busy body (although the busy body role is usually left to his wife). Then off to report the change of address to the police, immigration etc with the usual "administration fees" to make sure things are not lost.

On top of all that, some evil bug decided to take residence in my body (I have no idea why, it could not be considered a 5 star body even from a bugs point of view). Besides inducing a general feeling of “ugh and no blogging”, the bugs caused the cancelation of a trip to the big smoke (Jakarta) where I was due for a months training.That was a real bugger, I was looking forward to arcing up the Blok M debate again). Despite numerous trips to the doctor, it has taken some time to evict the body invaders. At one stage I was even thinking of visiting th local dukun (local mystic man) but after their failure stopping the mudflow and the causing the cancellation of POTUS visit despite huge publicity, I figure I might be better off with David Blaine or a panadol

Anyway I am sorta back and somewhat jealous the treespotter has got trolls that can spell as opposed to the semi-literate and barely logical mobs that live under my bridge.

Thursday, November 09, 2006


My view towards humanity is a particularly low ebb this month. Of course, reading about the scum that continue to plague this corner of Paradise does not help one bit.

The court case of the swine who are accused of beheading three school girls earlier this year has begun. With the Jakarta Post reporting here here and more coverage here.

"Prosecutors yesterday detailed how Hasanuddin, Lilik and co-accused Irwanto Irano planned the schoolgirl beheadings with six other men. They prepared six machetes and black plastic bags for carrying off the severed heads and spent several days surveying the area where the students regularly passed by"

Nine men lying in wait to ambush 4 schoolgirls!!

What brave and noble warriors they must be!!!

Not being great believer in the existance of an afterlife, however on the off chance I am wrong then I hope these guys are off to a really special place..

The really scary, obnoxious part is one of these F*ckers went and spoke to religious community (?)leader about the plan.. Did he report it ...nagh not on your life(or should I say their life). Something is seriously wrong when men... (I would call them animals but animals don't deserve that)that are capable of such acts exist amongst us

I am not about to get into the religion thing because to be honest, I think the world has had a gutful of it all!! Don't bother with the I hate Muslims comments, I hate Christian comments, I hate (insert your religion of choice here)...I will delete ya all!! If only you could do that with some of the scum that call themselves human.

Do you think we will see wide-spread condemnation of these acts.. or just more radio cartoon competitions..

Unfortunately, although a Nation with a long history of Kings, Regents and Dictators, Indonesian democracy has yet failed to produce a leader with the vision and courage to carry Indonesia into a safe, prosperous future. As a result, those of black hearts and maggot riddled ethics have taken advantage of this lack of leadership to inflict their own perverse needs and wants on a virtually undefended populace.

Its sad but one can only hope its temporary..

Sunday, November 05, 2006

spritual refreshment

The Pentonarc has just returned from Beautiful Bali (Lucky bugger) and has some nice pictures of the island of the Gods… We here at the Greenstump have no such luck (how do you get these jobs that come inclusive with holidays?).

Instead we have had to find our spritual refreshment in other ways.

Saturday, November 04, 2006


Anytime you want to catch up on Business in Indonesia it’s normally a good plan to pop across to see Yosef's blog. This week one of his commentators noted there was a distinct absence of "bule" at the latest piece of government invest in Indonesia wank. The Infrastructure Two Summit (this is the summit you have when your first was a dismal failure) was the Indonesian Government’s latest attempt to revive the long dead patient that is International Investment in Indonesia.

The Yosef's commentator suggests the lack of western interest was due to the rise in Chinese investment. I beg to differ; the more likely reason is most international business people can smell the stench of corruption and bullshit thousands of miles away.

Of course, international cases like the trial of Rich Ness hardly instill confidence.. Richard Ness is being charged over environmental crimes (As opposed to the mud brothers Grim), in the latest piece of one law for you and one for us.

Ness is currently facing ten years in prison and a US$60,000 fine. He is accused of polluting the environment and causing illnesses. However, over 30 independent studies (most notably the United Nation’s World Health Organisation, Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organization of Australia, and the National Institute for Minamata Disease) have repeatedly confirmed that there is no evidence of environmental damage and, most importantly, medical analysis has established that there is no incidence of arsenic or mercury poisoning among the local community.”

Although I have to disagree with his son Eric who said

"One of my biggest concerns is that the law hasn’t been followed. It sometimes feels like the law doesn’t matter."

Now that is simply untrue, Tempo only recently revealed that Indonesian legal system made Indonesian history this year with the conditional release of Tommy Suharto, the defendant in the murder case of Supreme Court Judge Syafiuddin Kartasasmita. In Indonesia’s history, remission of 38 months, like Tommy received, has never been granted, a new record.

I think it should be congratulations all round, nothing like setting legal history to inspire filth oops sorry in the legal system.


After the recent "liberation" of various items of value, we have sacked the SS (Sleeping Security) and gone up market.

Oh where oh where were these cartoons when I was young..

Friday, November 03, 2006

Smoke blocks Climate Change

No personal pictures today as my camera has been liberated (amongst a heap of other stuff) in the name of some bastard needing money for Idul Fitri. Religious holidays seem to increase theft no matter what religion. However, with poverty and the lack of law and order in Indonesia, minor crime is endemic and much worse during the holiday season. If I let the cynic in me run riot then it is easy to comment, religion as always more about the ritual than intent, a view somewhat supported by the World Wide Corruption Watch. I will leave you to guess which countries are "top da pops"

Still to put a traditional curse on the mongrel “I hope your chooks turn into emus and kick ya dunny down” (I hope your chicken transform into emus (Large flightless birds) and destroy your outdoor toilet)….Ah there I feel better.

Still taking the cynic in me for a walk: Climate change has become big news this week, The theory has been around for awhile but really seems to be grabbing the news lately. To be expected our resident green (est) blogger Jakartass is also giving it a good run.

Climate Change may well be a fact, or yet another “oh the evil west yawn”. I cannot help but remember that in the 70’s the ice age was coming (along with a Nuclear Winter, not the same but as well). Then by the 90’s overpopulation would have completely overwhelmed the planet. The average age of an American would be 47 due to pesticide contamination. Then we had to dodge planes falling out of the sky with Y2K, it actually wasn’t computers that brought them down but a number of stone age misfits.

The other problem I have with Climate Change shrills is the grandiose claims such as: Islands are sinking!! The ice is melting!! blah blah. Interestingly, the Greenland ice sheets are thicker? than they have ever been!
Anyway you should accept the shrills, run around in circles, sure enough along comes something like:

"Water vapour constitutes 95% of greenhouse gases by volume is conveniently ignored by Gore. While humanity’s three billion tonnes (gigatonnes, or GT) per year net contribution to the atmosphere’s CO2 load appears large on a human scale, it is actually less than half of 1% of the atmosphere’s total CO2 content (750-830 GT). The CO2 emissions of our civilization are also dwarfed by the 210 GT/year emissions of the gas from Earth’s oceans and land. Perhaps even more significant is the fact that the uncertainty in the measurement of atmospheric CO2 content is 80 GT — making three GT seem hardly worth mentioning.”

Bugger!!!..confused again..Seems to me a fair bit of psuedo science going on here...

Meanwhile the 9 out of 10 Government is still content to allow Indonesia to smother under a blanket of smog and ash. Two months and no blue sky or sun, but hey we can send to troops to Lebanon for international respect..sheeet. Big splash in the papers about the two water-bomb planes from Russia. Of course, its not likely Indonesia is paying for them! Once again the international community will get scammed and the rich, selfish bastards will get rich while the young and old die to put money in their bank.

Its as bad as it has ever been, cannot ever breathe indoors today..eyes watering, coughing! Unbelievable... the next door neighbour has decided its a good time to burn off his wet vegation...what is wrong with some people????

A nation should hang its head in shame, when its children cannot even attend school without wearing masks due to plain ugly greed!

On a postive note the mad Mufti has promised to wear a tape over his mouth.. now if only that would catch on with all all the rest of the nutters with the hotline to our salvation.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Predictable Mutt Update

"SHEIK Taj Aldin al-Hilali, the Muslim leader at the centre of a storm over comments blaming women for rape, will be giving no more sermons for several months at Lakemba mosque, senior Muslims say."

"But no further action is to be taken against Australia's top Muslim cleric. "
(Ya! Well done guys a firm stand for women everywhere..NOT)

As discussed yesterday, the civilised and intelligent have been overwhelmed by the hive mind. Sad but predictable. To those of you with daughters (or pieces of meat unless they meet the Mutt's view of fashion), feel better now?

At least, the usual red herring defence "He doesn't represent us" has been nullified by the limp wristed response (although we live in hope the silent majority, whose views and positions have been debased will say "enough is enough" these idiots don't deserve to be our public face).

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Woman's Rights under the Sheik

It’s amazing what you can turn up if you look under enough slimy rocks as was illustrated this week. A senior member of the hive mind aka “Sheik Taj Din al-Hilali” the alleged (by some) Australia's Muslim mufti (or mutt)said this week during his sermon that "If you take out uncovered meat and place it outside on the street, or in the garden or in the park, or in the backyard without a cover, and the cats come and eat it ... whose fault is it, the cats or the uncovered meat?

According to this dubious piece of humanity, women who don’t wear the hijab and cover up are just uncovered meat. The sheik said: "If she was in her room, in her home, in her hijab, no problem would have occurred." Here he is most likely referring to heap of recent gang rapes by some umwanted maggots of society.

This is the same person (and I use the term in its broadest sense) who last month criticized the Australian Government for saying a minority of migrant men mistreated their women….I would say the defence rests and its time to replace the slimy rock. There is a full arab recording of the speech but who wants to give this cretin more airplay. Personally, I hope Australia wakes up a deports this bag of trash back where he came from.

To be fair, a number of Muslim groups have come out and condemned the Mutt. It will be interesting to watch if moderate, reasoned and civilized Muslims are successful in having this blight removed from a position of authority or is so often the case, the hive mind manages to silence the reasonable and the intelligent in the Muslim community.

Still on bizarre comments (although anywhere near as revolting, just bizarre). Vice Prez Kalla was quoted as giving the government a score of 9 of 10 for performance so far. With 80 million people (at the most conservative estimate) living in poverty, the human rights activist murderer still free (despite the murder taking place on the National Airline), Endemic Corruption, (including the most base levels possible, involving children’s schoolbooks and disaster relief), any number of places of worship burnt with no criminal charges being brought, a tax and customs system so thoroughly inept and corrupt it beggars belief. If all this deserves a 9/10, then with a marking system like that it explains the plethora of Doctors and Professors we have in Government with no visible sign of improvement.

On the sports front, the Kiwi’s were beaten again in the Tri-Nations Rugby (in a perfect world the Shiek Mutt would be fronting up in the front row in the next match, see how long he remains “uncovered”). The next match is UK vs. Australia (friendly wager J?).
I have misplaced my sailing magazine so cannot find the number of the marina in Thailand to buy a yacht (Can anyone explain why Indonesia does not promote the sport and build viable marinas?)

Anyway I am off to retrace my steps incase I have knocked over a slimy rock…who knows what repulsive thing might be crawling out.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Heaven's Game

Unlike some who prefer the more "diving prima donnas" brand of football. I much prefer the man's brand of sport! None of the "Sissy boy, He called my mother a name, so I pushed him card crap here"!

Get in, get the ball and make ya mark sunshine!!

Anyway, the Kiwi's and their boring little Hacka have been sent packing ..see you next week guys..

I've got my scarf, got my old coat
I've got a footy game to go to
Footy's on footy's here again
Back to greet me like an old friend, and

That's the thing about
That's what I like about
That's the thing about
The thing about football

I'll meet a friend outside the ground
We'll argue over who's gonna win
He'll go for his team I for mine
We'll watch 'em slug it out, right to the end, and

Show me the crowd and I'll take my place
I'm hungry, I'm hungry for the taste of it, and

I got a long road to walk down
To catch a tram to my favourite ground
Use my legs, used my voice
Make some noise support the boys, and

That's what football means to me
That's how I like my footy to be!

For those of you who are interested in the Tri Nations score.. (the game they play in heaven, waiting for the Australian Rules Season to start)

Australia opened their Tri-Nations account with a 30-18 victory over New Zealand in Auckland over the weekend.

Monday, October 16, 2006


Some people were suprised at the Pope's comments and the fact SBY did not win the Nobel peace prize and others were not...

"GUNMEN on a motorcycle shot dead a Christian minister in Palu, the capital of religiously-divided Central Sulawesi province, residents said today.

Reverend Irianto Kongkoli, 40, was shot in the head and died on the spot, they said.

The reverend, who is also the secretary of the Central Sulawesi Communion of Churches, was shot as he and his wife were shopping in south Palu.

Police were not immediately available for comment. "

Of course, it may have been a business dispute because it is after all the Holy Month..

And..its is now 15 days since we have seen the sun, the whole family is sick and haze keeps coming!

Sunday, October 15, 2006


Speaking of the leaders this nation endures (see previous post). This link provides a very good video of the Lapindo mud disaster. You remember Lapindo, the company that was sold by the brothers Grimm for $2.00 AFTER the disaster.


Interesting comment by the younger Grim recently (para phrased) "that it would not be fair that other parts of the Grim conglomerate be held responsible for the Lapindo disaster" (If you want the whole thing grab a copy of "Tempo")

Sorry little guy.. What would not be fair is if rich, unethical bastards still enjoy vast riches when thousands of people have been left homeless and vast areas of the environment have been destroyed!

Still, they would not let that happen as they are fine, upstanding members of the community...

Droughts and Pestilence

"I believe in God, I just call it nature"

Global Warming? ! I have lot of trouble with the bumpf and bang with a lot of the claims, i.e. “Water World” is coming. However one thing is for sure, the world driest continent, Australia is suffering its worst drought in 100 years!

Interestingly, Australian Agriculture accounts for 65% to 75% (figures vary according to source) of all water usage. Despite what some say, the poor maligned and gouged urban dweller is not the major culprit in water usage. In fact, urban usage accounts for less than 10% of water usage. Even if all the so called water saving schemes were successful, the best you could hope for would be a 3% reduction in water usage (bit like wind power, makes you feel good but contributes sweet FA to the solution...

Of course, one has to seriously question the logic of growing water intensive crops like cotton and rice on the driest continent in the world. To add to the current distress brought on by the drought, many areas of Australia are besieged by Bushfires (or wildfires as they say in the US).

So what does this have to do with Indonesia you say? Well I admit the link is tenuous its telling that Indonesia. Large parts of which is awash (excuse the pun) with water pays no attention to this valuable resource. The opportunity to a become the regional food producer is just begging and with such a large rural population, the mission could not possibly be classed as too difficult or out of reach.

Despite the protests of good economic performance! It is simply a disgrace that Indonesia is a net importer of basic food staples such as rice and corn. Trips to Mecca on the government dollar or gratuitous trips across the world bleating what a great place to invest Indonesia is will not rectify the fundamental inadequate government planning and “the nose in trough” attitude of most politicians.

It is blight on all politicians that a resource rich country like Indonesia has so many people in poverty when cash rich countries like Australia are just begging for solutions to their own problems.

Some interesting (disturbing) facts, Indonesia imports:

a. Rice;
b. Corn:
c. Oil: and
d. Coal.

Not because she does not have sufficient but due to sheer ineptitude by those who are supposed to be leading the nation.

(I will add some pictures later, for some reason they won't load today)

Saturday, October 14, 2006

The Corby Family Tree

Schapelle Corby's half brother James Kisina is facing charges over a violent home invasion, where two drug dealers were bashed and robbed.

"Kisina has claimed the robbery was an attempt to assist his sister's case, and he was there in an attempt to see if they had any information whatsoever, being drug dealers, which could assist his sister's case"..

uh uh...and you robbed them for expense money...Gotta love Genetics!!

Gee thanks bro...

OOPS, there are probably more than the odd one or two aussies thinking "maybe we were a bit harsh on the Indonesian Justice System".

Its tough to retreat once you have slandered a race/nation/section of humanity as many have learned this week.

Thursday, October 12, 2006


I am angry today !!!!...No bugger it make that seriously pissed off!!

Our quaint, normally clean, little town is completely shrouded in ash and smoke courtesy of those thieving, pillaging, robbing swine and I do mean SWINE burning off the last remaining jungle in Indonesia. Headlights required at 9 am in the morning and virtually impossible to breathe without a mask.

I read recently in the IHT (look for your own reference, I can't be bothered)that Borneo is down to its last 20% of jungle not bad for 20 years work. Do spare me the crap it is little local farmers burning off! The world's heritage being destroyed to fill the pockets of SWINE living far away in that other evironmental disaster, the city where the rivers run black (more commonly known as Jakarta) and elsewhere.

Meanwhile check out what according to UNSPUN this PILLAR OF SOCIETY AND INDONESIAN GOVERNMENT REPRESENTATIVE had to say

Gee, and some of us are so focused on what "BULES" do and don't do. I would not get too worried guys. The place won't be fit for for man nor beast soon and the Bule's will/can leave. Of course, those that have to stay and live in the cess pool (and it won't be the rich bastards who had destoyed your/our heritage), may rue the day they were so focused on the inane and irrelevant.

Anyone of you want to help out with a word that equals contempt x a gazillion...?

Wednesday, October 11, 2006


Still on the utter bastards theme..

The stupid comment of the week award by a public (?) authority goes to General Sondhi Boonyaratkalin in Thailand who said "martial law was not harming anyone and that lifting it would make it difficult to resolve problems"

It was a tough fight for top position in Thailand with Prime Minister (???) Surayud Chulanont pushing hard with his statement "We value the freedom of people and civil liberties,"

Of course, One amusing little story (in dark sort of way) that did come out of this was a farmer who when asked if he supported the ousted ELECTED government. Said "yes I do" asked if he was going to protest said "I don't support him that much, I have crops to plant and its harder to do from gaol"

Of course, some say the coup has the support of the people, then why martial law?

Fact is coups are never good for democracy, and Thailand should know it's had 18 in recent history.

Please note: I have excluded the local blog world from stupid comments this week ..way too many entries!!!

Oh and the girl in the win the "stupid tourist" award

Monday, October 09, 2006


Its now official, this week is UTTER BASTARDS week. North Korea decided to set off a nuclear bomb today in another "great leap forward" for mankind. Thanks Kim, you moron! Oh and for the guys in the photo "up yours too"

I did love this letter to the editor on the subject though,
"The UN will send yet another stongly worded but totally ineffective memo, and sit down and watch the refugees in Darfur starve, while the Europeans will suggest the only action is appease North Korea, The outcome, is that North Korea will soon be exporting WMD to willing buyers because that is the only way they can get cash. ."

Sounds about right, by the way how do you rate starving refugees...say in comparison with..

Those pesky cartoonists have riled the constantly annoyed again, so I have decided to thrown one in myself. Serious you are allowed to smile once in a lifetime.

Its only Monday and it looks to win the only way the utter bastards register can be topped is if Lapindo wins the contract to build the Nuclear Power Plant in Java..(You know the place with the volcanos)

Sunday, October 08, 2006


The world is full of utter utter bastards!!

I have been away again up country in Java, where apparently according to Xenophobes and their ilk, Indonesian women "with a dark complexion, buck teeth, and a high forehead typically found among remote mountain villagers".
I guess (and thank my upbringing for that) that Thang and I see things differently.

Fortunately he/she/it has been brought to task on a number of blogs after his latest ill considered and racist rants. Who is this person (organisation?)anyway? I doubt the name is fooling many. Sad that the "Thangs" contribute to the often deep and ingrained prejudices already creating so many problems in this country.

On the subject of people avoiding their responsibilities, every so often I get into an argument with some as a defender of capitalism and the sustainable exploitation of resources (hey its my thing). Trouble is every so often people and companies make a complete fool out of me and my defence!

The International Tribune reports that as the Lapindo Mud Flow liabilities have increased (13000 people evacuated, eight villages destroyed, etc, etc) PT Lapindo has been sold for $2.00 to an "offshore" company owned by the brothers Grimm. Gee, perhaps the company was sold to facilitate compensation payments....ho ho ho.

Meanwhile Company Spokesman Yunawati Teryana said it was too early to conclude that Lapindo acted negligently and it might have been a natural mud eruption...(yep and maybe tax payers won't end up paying and maybe pigs might fly).

******UPDATE,Green Indonesia --I have just noticed that GI has a more in-depth analysis here

I was always taught that the best way to check it what you are doing is ethical is to pretend that you had to explain what you doing (honestly) to your children. If you could not do that without being ashamed then it’s not ethical.

I am guessing there would be many severely traumatized kids around after finding out the truth about their dad and what he does for a living.

To keep us on the irresponsible and utter bastards theme, you might want to check on latest contribution to the environment in which we all must live...



Thursday, October 05, 2006


Recently some inane, third-rate news (?) current affairs programn in Australia sent reporters to Papua to search for Cannibals (on tourist visas as well, but thats another story).

Well I don't know about deepest darkest Papua but its happening right here in my home (see photo). Of course this is just one of the smaller thugs, his big brother hangs out in my shower recess, which explains the somewhat unsettling sight of me showering in the front yard under the hose (He scares me, its like showering with a Komodo). This front yard showering gave rise to the common term "Bule Gila Masuk Kampung" (Crazy white fella enters the village).

On a related issue, I am busy fighting a rear guard action to protect a 1 meter Montier Lizard (Ralf) who has taken up residence in the drain at the front of the house. Virtually every day, someone is trying to beat it with sticks and or stone it to death (itu gigit mister..that will bite you mister). All commonsense pleas that he will reduce the rats and mice that plaque the streets (not to mention snakes) seem to fall on deaf ears although Ralf has figured out he is safe in our yard, so maybe there is some hope yet.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Class -- you have it or you don't

"Damn, I hate it when I lose invitations"

Just finished reading an cool article on the recent marriage of Danny and Lulu (Danny's Grand Father being none other than the "too ill too attend court" former President Suharto). The wedding soon put paid to those detractors who say the Cendana Family has lost the common touch.

What a wedding party it must have been as well, no subtle, under done bash for this family. According to "Tempo" they even had souvenir roses for the guests. Now these were no ordinary roses, with the rose bud being consructed out of five 10,000Rp bills (for the red colour) with leaves constructed out of 20,000Rp notes.

Local celeb Connie Sutedja gushed "I got three" (aint she a sweetheart). Other note worthy (don't confuse note worthy with praise worthy) guests included Minister for Religious Affairs Maftuh Basyuni, with a total guest list of 5000. Other cutesy items included tulips and imported casablanca lilies (whatever they are?). Rumoured cost of the flowers would exceed two billion Rp (seems a bit much).

Never one to scrape in the mist of poverty, the family lashed out with the food getting the Grand Hyatt to provide Salmon and Beef etc..Not sure what presents were presented, I certainly hope one was a book on class vs crass.

and the loons reckon a tree is bad for society

Well thats all from me, I feel the need to vomit and look up the Indonesian word for no-shame (gotta keep those studies going).

Tuesday, October 03, 2006


One thing about Indonesia is the seemingly endless number of groups jousting to inflict their own twisted vision of virtue upon us. "Persis" or the United Islam Youth hacked to pieces a 100 year old Banyan Tree located near the Harmoni Bus Center in Jakarta. Apparently the infidel tree had the potential to "corrupt religious and moral faith" according to group spokesman Zenal Arfin Abu Dhiya.

As could be imagined a 100 year old Banyan Tree is fairly significant piece of nature and took some time to be ravaged by Zenal and his little helpers, there is no word on where the police were during this time.

The Banyon tree joins other such notables as dutch cartoonists, the pope and centuries old statues in Afghanistan to raise the ire of the hive mind.

However, there is a very strong connection between Zenal and the Banyan Tree one gave the community oxygen all of its life the other stole it.

I am not a big believer in the Earth Mother thing but tonight I might just offer up a pagan prayer for justice. It is often heard that the media protrays Islam in a negative fashion, with groups like Persis around perhaps its time to stop blaming the media and stop the lunatic fringe groups hijacking the name of Islam.

Meanwhile beware the Earth Mother, she can be a mean bitch!!! and if there is a Judgement day is should be interesting when the best thing one can offer up as a life's work is "Well I did hack a tree down that took you 100 years to create"

More India stuff, did I say say lots of people!! The picture was a result of asking the local taxi and asking where is the ATM. This is the view after I alighted from the taxi.

200m to the ATM.. 55mins to get there..It was against the flow..

As I said amazing place......

Monday, October 02, 2006

India and da thang

Hi All, back and I can still confirm if you must fly then the Singapore Girls are still a good way to go as opposed to the Mangy Roo (QANTAS). Our trip involved a dash of Singapore, lashings of India and sprinkling of places in between. Thailand was on the agenda but I kinda like supporting those countries that at least have make the attempt at giving the people a choice in government, so Thailand was skipped. Anyone want to comment on why such muted commentary in Indonesia on the coup?

Unfortunately in all the travels, no sightings of our blogger friend
Friskodude who seems to have fallen off the planet he loves so much.

As one who has been know to give a bit of stick to Indonesian Officialdom from time to time, I have to confess that our local Customs and Immigration guys leave the Indian counterparts choking in their dust. It was actually a pleasure to come back to officials neat and tidy in their uniforms and at least displaying some interest in what they do. Just goes to show (as some people have been telling me, everything is relative).

It was also encouraging to see that India has an active environmental program (pictured, writing on the bus says " World's largest eco friendly CNG bus service) although from the limited time in country it would appear like Indonesia it consists of more words than action. One critical point was in all the major cities visited, air quality was much much cleaner than Jakarta. This is not doubt due to the widespread use of CNG on public transport large and small. India also has far smaller population of those smog spewing, two stroke motor cycles that clog Jakarta’s city streets in the absence of a viable and safe public transport system.

People…what can I say…I have never seen so many people in one place trying to occupy the same square meter of space. All in all a very interesting trip.

While I have been away, I see Da Thang has been spewing forth his anti-western bile again. You would think someone who declares himself a Jakarta-based columnist would have plenty to write about in Jakarta rather than 60 year old stories from Australia and how America treats her pets. He does claim to be a writer (I use the term loosely, writer perhaps, a reseacher not) for hire though, it would be interesting to see who is paying for the stories as the anti-western seems to spew forth everytime the Indonesian Government comes under international pressure for some reason or other.

Thanks to Jakartass for the mention whilst I was away. I was a bit sneaky dropping by for a pop shot and the running away again..grin..I am not yet back full time but hope to resume normal blogging within the next week or so…

Wednesday, September 20, 2006


Just popping for a few minutes and then be on my way again.

I see the Borg Hive Mind is out on the streets again. It’s a shame the hive mind can’t ever do something constructive like perhaps protest the destruction of the Indonesian villages by the “Brothers Grim” or perhaps even get off their collective arses and help repair the majority of the schools that are falling down around the students ears. Is there any doubt the hive mind has lost its claim to belong to humanity (if it ever did).

Meanwhile, some our other blogging friends seem to be having a great time on the organic fermented fruit juice with a decidedly right angled green bend to recent posts. Indcoup even went so far as praising the Australian Greens for heavens sake. If there is a Cosmic All Powerful Body then he will surely save us from the likes of Australian Greens Polly Bob Brown and his team of looney tunes.

Elsewhere, a number of companies are coping a “caning” for attending a Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) lecture/seminar (this would be a good thing wouldn’t it??)… I am a big believer in companies taking responsibility for their actions (although the CSR strikes me as a politically correct term designed to try and please the rabids) but attacking companies for attending...Oh well…I suddenly feel the need for a tin foil hat.

Ok here’s the thing!!! Governments don’t make money they just spend it!!! The socialism experiment failed and millions died.

Not all industries are the children of Satan. In a country where personal Income Tax is concept standing right along side the tooth fairy. Corporate taxes and royalties provides what pathetic infrastructure there is. The governments job is to ensure the money is spent wisely mmmmm… Perhaps the term we should be looking at is GSR.

Anyway, that all I have time for----Seeya! and beware the Hive-mind it can lower your IQ in an instant.

BTW… I do think companies should act responsibly and personally I am astounded that the mud men are not in jail with their assets seized... Exploiting resources is not always a negative thing (in fact rarely) unless you want to take civilization back a thousand years.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

mud monsters and bloggers

Still travelling so no decent posts yet for awhile...However keeping an eye on the news.

One has to ask what's wrong with a place jails someone for a joke about a political figure (supporters of censorship rejoice) but provides cover for people who smother whole villages in toxic mud...

Meanwhile Jakartass has fired up a discussion with his comments on the Mud Monsters or should that be pond scum.

Me?? I cannot help think how different the government reaction would be if it was an Foreign company...or am I just a cynic...

Wednesday, August 30, 2006


Well its been a hetic few days and I think I have managed to annoy most people, so I guess it has not been a total loss. All good things come to an end and I must take a short plane trip for a few days. Back early next week so no blogging until then.

Of course, the new security plans (see picture) at our local airport has made this SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING...and that Asia Air policy of not being able to book seats ensures the running start is a must.

Have a good weekend...and someone feed the trolls please

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

an open letter

It seems I have once again trodden where "angels fear to tread" with yesterdays post BLOGG OFF. I would have thought more comments would be forthcoming on the Genocide in Sudan than the relatively inconsequential "whingers of us bloggers". An interesting social commentary on us all perhaps.

I for one acknowledge that my postings are or can be on the negative side, but most often that is borne of frustration. What frustration you ask? The glaring fact that no one seems to care or give a damn!!..Naturally the more frustration you feel the more cynical you become.

Todays Examples Alone... Ravaged rain forests and buring off with the smoke and haze effecting not only Indonesia but her neighbor's as well. Pictures in the today's paper of riverways that make you want to vomit and cry in disgust ..Thugs and bullies that seem to attract nary a word...etc etc..

And with notable and predictable exceptions

Please and I am serious here not being rude or insulting (or not trying to be) can someone explain why it is so?

Is it the people really just do not care (I can't believe that)

Is it that people are still scared to comment on those with the power to do something?

A general feeling of it won't make a difference anyway?

Don't admit errors at any cost?

Or is it just that culturally we view blogs and open comment differently?

I hope no one takes offence at the above (actaully thats not really true but I hope some take offence for the right reasons). I also hope someone can enlighten me.. I really do not understand where is the outrage? Where is the passion for the things that really effect our lives that is so evident in those things that have no effect (dare I mention playboy)?


Monday, August 28, 2006


I think it is very sad that the very people who you would think that by natural selection would defend freedom of speech (aka Bloggers), are sometimes the first to call for censorship. I have been reading Indonesian Blogsphere posts calling for accountability (?) of other bloggers (never themselves mind you). Accountability will always be a fairly evil word when applied to the media, blogs or any other form of communication. Any restrictions on free speech rarely remain benign. The problem is and always will be “Who checks the checker”?

Have you ever heard one of these censor advocates say "That work had better be banned because I might read it and it might be very damaging to me?" (Joseph Henry Jackson). The very assumption that people (besides the censors) cannot choose for themselves what to read or see is arrogance at its most oppressive.

Almost invariably, the people calling for “accountability” are not really concerned with the facts or the truth no matter how much that they protest the same. These insecure souls want you to be accountable for dragging them outside of their comfort zone and their cozy (and sometimes perverse) little view of the world.

There is no need for censorship in any place let alone amongst bloggers. One of the major advantages of the blogsphere is a lie or falsehood has a very short half-life . Yes, the hate sites remain but they too are quickly exposed to all but the brain dead as little more than the rantings of lunatics.

I believe the “blog” self regulates to huge degree, particularly in our smaller blog world here in Indonesia. Most of us operate on an “open comments” basis (albeit with moderation enabled to kill the spam and mindless bad language and threats). This alone means any obvious bullsh*t will be exposed in a matter of minutes. A pretty simple rule is, if a blogger won’t let you comment with a different opinion then dump the page, its crap and deserves to be treated as such.

On a personal blog note, I love the “inane” comments that sometimes come along with my posts and others such as “Check your Facts” or “You don’t know what you are talking about” Whilst that is probably true in a lot of cases, the comment on its own without providing an alternative or at least a link to demonstrate the error is a waste of the time it takes to comment (Its also lazy and troll like behaviour).

Blog’s are many things to many people, to some they are an online version of the “The diary of Adrain Mole” complete with minute by minute updates of their loves and losses (I will never understand the attraction but hey). To other people, their blog is an opinionated version of current social/political events. This is the beauty of blogging everyone gets to have a say.

Whatever is blogged doesn’t really matter. Invariably the blog takes on a bias of its own. To call for accountability (??) because someone doesn’t meet your view of what “blog-able” is a sign of an immature and insecure society/person. The fundamental principles of freedom of speech (coming back to the “who checks the checkers “principle again) is far more important than any one person’s feelings or prejudices.

This doesn’t mean you can slander someone or print an untruth in a deliberate attempt to hurt someone. There are already laws against slander in the vast majority of countries in the world, including Indonesia.

In a very short time, we know what we are going to get when we check any blog and as the sign says “enter at your own risk”. For example, If I drop into Jakartass then I will get social commentary with a green bent. Indcoup provides social commentary with a distinctly coarse and cynical edge. IndoMatters will normally manage to raise the ire of some with commentary on the more “out-there” pressure groups and quasi-government follies (he is certainly provided with heaps of material by some loons). Yosef provides succinct and informative information on the Indonesian business and Political world, and of course Greenstump he just mucks about and fills his page with whatever fills his head that day.

So in summary, if you don’t like what is said because you don’t like the perceptions of the facts, the sources or the links or even the bias then I can only suggest in the nicest possible way its time to get a grip or …...”BLOGG OFF”.

P.S. If you are going to accuse someone of lacking credibility, it pays to provide a counter argument otherwise yells of common sense and accountability are just so much white noise.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Lebanon or Sudan - A hard question?

It may be that the situation in the Middle East has settled down a bit for the time being. Of course that leaves a heap of the morally outraged all dressed up with no place to go.

Perhaps they could consider the Sudan, where Muslim Genocide is being carried out on a daily basis. Not as newsworthy as Lebanon for some reason.

"Since 2003, the Sudanese government and the Janjaweed militias burned and destroyed hundreds of rural villages, killed tens of thousands of people and raped and assaulted thousands of women and girls. The government’s campaign forced more than two million Darfurians from their homes. As of 2006, some 1.7 million displaced people live in camps in Darfur and approximately 208,000 people have fled to neighboring Chad, where they live in refugee camps"

Perhaps as the world's largest Muslim nation, Indonesia could do a bit better than these ratbags:

"Arab League has been largely silent on the atrocities in Darfur. This is probably because Sudan is a member of the Arab League and the Sudanese government has close relations with Egypt and other fellow Arab League members. The Arab League did send a fact-finding mission to Darfur in May 2004 but although its report concluded that serious atrocities were taking place, the Arab League has yet to publicly condemn or criticize the massive human rights abuses in Sudan"

Oh by the way "All of the people in Darfur are Muslim " as opposed to about 50% in Lebanon.

For those that wish to know more go to HUMAN RIGHTS WATCH SUDAN.

LATEST NEWS BREAK new human rights crisis in Darfu

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Censorship Offends Me!

Censors (the lowest form evolutionary life, along with dog catchers and parking inspectors) and accountability in writing are in the news again and have even found some supporters in Blog World here..(ugh..have you no shame!).

I am working on a post but is taking the meantime

"The populist authoritarianism that is the downside of political correctness means that anyone, sometimes it seems like everyone, can proclaim their grief and have it acknowledged. The victim culture, every sufferer grasping for their own Holocaust, ensures that anyone who feels offended can call for moderation, for dilution, and in the end, as is all too often the case, for censorship. And censorship, that by-product of fear - stemming as it does not from some positive agenda, but from the desire to escape our own terrors and superstitions by imposing them on others - must surely be resisted. ~Jonathon Green, "Did You Say 'Offensive?'," as posted on

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Lies exposed

Recently Jakartass ran some rather pathetic attempts with "Photoshop". It would appear that certain parties have given that up altogether and just plain lie in order to get the propaganda across. The top photo is as published by Defence Industry Daily - of its sinking of the decommissioned Australian destroyer-escort HMAS Torrens off the coast of Western Australia in 1998.

The bottom photo is from - "an Iran-based website run by the Hezbollah terrorist group - is running this picture (above) of what it claims is the Israeli ship it hit with a missile last month" (Andrew Bolt. )

Had a quick read of the web site as well, All I can say is I wish the Italians lots and lots of luck.

Now before the run of usual.."others do it too" comments. I don't care! Expose them as well and maybe one day there may exist some truth and balance in reporting. The more light Bloggers and ordinary people shine in dark places, the harder it is for the cockroaches and liars to hide.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Borders and BullSh#t

Feeling a bit tired today so just a cartoon to keep the expat xenophobes amused and a link to the latest on
Border Security and Refugees in Australia (even manage to get a bit of eco global warming as well).

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Hostile Acts

It’s been a busy week for some Indonesian Government Ministers, with Independence Day and proposing? planning? sending (that won't happen) an Indonesian Peace Keeping (?) Force to the Middle East. Now as an interesting aside, they are also planning to send 42 tanks, but they have to buy them first and ship them straight to Lebanon.

This in itself raises some questions and thoughts on the logic (or absence thereof) applied by some of these people. More of concern is it shows just how beholden the current government is to the more extreme groups in Indonesia.

A couple of quick thoughts anyway...

What use would 42 tanks be? Only one of the combatants has tanks and 42 tanks ain't gunna worry them anyway.

Its common knowledge that to be even semi proficient as a tank crewman you need at least 12 months training, so where and when would the training take place?

Which broker gets the deal? (ok this one is just a bit cynical)

On the same topic Indonesian Defense Minister, Juwono Sudarsono said Friday "that the government had allocated Rp 374 billion (US$41.09 million) to finance some 1,000 troops to join peacekeeping forces in Lebanon."

Now let’s look at this in context. Indonesia does not recognise Israel as a nation, has no diplomatic relations with Israel, as taken a decidedly weak kneed approach to the jihadis (?) planning to travel to the Middle East (to attack who??..sorry trick question) and besides sorely needing the funds at home believes it would be able to act and be respected as a neutral party.... Give us break!!
For a more detailed and cynical view of the plan, pop across to Indonesia Matters

Let’s reverse the situation. How would Indonesia feel/react if Israeli (commonly called the Zionist state) personnel were sent to Aceh to monitor the situation there??.. Can anyone think where $41. million dollars might be spent... perhaps here

Meanwhile, Djoko Susilo, member of House of Representatives Commission I overseeing security and international affairs declared Prime Minister of Australia had hostile intentions towards Indonesia after withdrawing withdrawal a proposed new immigration law in the country.

Djoko from the National Mandate Party was quoted by the Jakarta Post as saying "The withdrawal reflects hostile intentions. Howard was not serious from the beginning. The initiative was taken only to trick the Indonesian government so that it would send back its ambassador to Canberra, and Howard could meet President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono in Batam" he went on to say "it is incomprehensible that Howard could withdraw the legislation although his party held a majority of seats in the Australian parliament and senate"

It fact it is not incomprehensible at all. It’s called democracy at work! It was a particularly nasty piece of legislation which would have further prevented refugees from accessing legal processes in Australia and worse doomed them to long stays on difficult to monitor "off shore" facilities.

The legislation did not "sit well" with the Australian people and more than one government "back bencher" knew his seat was at risk if he didn't LISTEN to the people. It was pleasing to see that in a least in some cases, ETHICS rather than party politics won the day and banished this piece of appeasement to the dustbin where it belongs.

Djoko (a renown hater of all things OZ) by his statement demonstrated a complete lack of understanding of the democratic process in Australia (not a good situation for someone sitting on the Commission I overseeing security and international affairs) or....

Seriously, the Indonesian People deserve better than this from their elected representatives (?). Perhaps then instead of blaming others, the real issue of why there are so many Asylum seekers from Indonesia could be addressed.

As for the assertion that the withdrawal of the legislation was "Only to trick the Indonesian government so that it would send back its ambassador to Canberra"

I have some bad news one noticed he was gone!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Independence Day

Happy Independence Day.. 17 August is Indonesian Independence Day although like at lot of other countries there is some dispute about if the 17th is actually technically correct. Not that it really matters as like all independence days it is more symbolic than anything else. Symbolic of what??

Perhaps, the hopes and dreams of the common people after years (centuries) and domination of oppression by external and domestic tyrants, the ability to worship in peace, a right to education, freedom from fear, the ability to support and raise a family. A time to look back and see what has been achieved and what has not.
Perhaps time to reflect on the underbelly as well as the surface gloss..


Essentially, Indonesia shuts down until after the weekend, with any number of parties and celebrations all heavily laced with a healthy dose (perhaps unhealthy?)Dose of Nationalism.

One of the more interesting features of the day is the traditional granting of remissions to the resident jailbirds around the country.

The year is no exception...SCHAPELLE Corby has been given two months remission on her 20-year sentence which must have made her feel fantastic until she heard, "At least nine Indonesian convicts jailed for relatively minor (?) roles in the 2002 Bali bombings, which killed 202 people including 88 Australians, will have four months cut from their jail terms"

Would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when they decided the relative merits of those two cases.

Personally I can't see how you can have a "minor role" when 202 people have been slaughtered by rabid and extremely poor excuses for human beings

However, Happy day all, we all do "live in interesting times"

Who knows maybe we can all have a collective rush of blood and the freedoms and rights of ALL will blossom in the year to come.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Porky pies and my mate bill

Fairly busy of late, with many interesting things happening which I shall go into the meantime.. Cartoonist Bill Leak has been "annoying the annoyed" again.

I agree with many of my critics than it is only a very small portion of nutters that give a country a bad name. However, thats what happens, lets be honest one far right politician (Hanson)convinced nearly everyone that All Australians were racists. Point being is what do the people do about it, pretend it isn't there or..

Speaking of pork products (or not as the case may be)..Who would want to tell this old boar that his whole genus is unclean...

Monday, August 07, 2006

Isn't there enough already

"INDONESIAN protests against the Israeli offensive in Lebanon grew at the weekend, with one of the main organisers, Muslim political agitator Suaib Didu, declaring a deadline of Tuesday for hostilities to cease "or I will no longer bear responsibilities for the jihad activities that follow"."

"He repeated that claim after Saturday's ceremony, adding that if John Howard did not quickly condemn Israel's military actions against Hezbollah, "we have operatives in place who can assassinate him".

loaded words?.


Friday, August 04, 2006


Reading the Jakarta Post today and besides a few laughs in the letters section, I came across, I think the call it a "factiod".

Apparently the US used to produce a coin with "MIND YOUR (OWN) Business embossed on it. What a great motto!!!

Perhaps Indonesia could print it on all of its currency (bit late for the US now). Maybe the next time the thugs, no-hopers, sanctimonious busy bodies and bullies stop off for a "botol teh" on the way to their latest act of intimidation, they might heed the advice.

Sound advice indeed..chill and have some tea!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006


As all regular readers of the Indonesian Blogsphere will know expats have been the topic of the week so to speak, so I will continue the trend.

Some of the more prevailing (incorrect) perceptions radiating from some of the posts and comments was the Expat lifestyle was one great party that of consisted of booze, birds and bucks. As usual, a fair bit of envy provided a unpleasant undertone in number of comments, but that is to be expected. The grass is always greener!!

Indcoup touched on a another Expat suicide the other day. This is another uglier/sadder side to consider in one of your more compassionate moments. As Indcoup’s post indicates, far from being a life of endless fun and frivolity, the expatriate life can also be one of intense loneliness, incredibly long hours and intense periods of homesickness. This applies to Indonesian expats as well as your standard variety or as Treespotter would say “bule” version.

However, for the sake of a reference point I shall restrict this point to us ‘bule”. The point is often brought up why are you here? Well for most it’s easy, a combination of the following:

1. Money;
2. Adventure;
3. Challenge;
4. Personal or Professional Crisis at home;
5. Normal Career Progression.

Now the bias attached to any one point is dependent on the person involved but it will nearly always be a mixture of the above.

The new expat will arrive bright eyed and bushy tailed, gazing with wonder at everything new that assaults him immediately upon arrival. Soon however, (unless he is lucky enough to work for one of those generous (?) companies that allow whole families to be uplifted) He finds him (her) self looking for someone to talk to as the loneliness begins to set in.

If he is the only expat in his company this will be interesting and at the same time further depressing. Whilst most of the local staff may speak English of sorts, rarely is it nuanced enough for that inimate conversation he so desires and needs. With his own Bahasa barely above ordering a taxi level, he will seek out the others of his kind in similar situation.

Now comes the most dangerous time for our newbie, the older hands are normally safely tucked away with wives (national or expat) and support networks that have taken sometimes years to build up. Our newbie invariably ventures out and gravitates towards the kinds of places that cater for the lonely guy with time and money on their hands. Contrary to the popular (PC driven twaddle) he is not the hunter but the hunted, like a lame wilderbeast that has wandered from the herd, easy prey for the streetwise and cunning.

If he is lucky and does have a semblance of a support network back home or elsewhere this may just be a phase and he may yet adjust and move on. If not, he may well find himself back at the same place very other night, seeking solace in the bottle and the pretty faces that smile but little else. Both the bottle and the pretty but shallow face (that smile is just her means of getting through the day as well), provide only a temporary, fleeting patch on the loneliness which is now gnawing at his gut.

As time goes buy, he will find a way to feed all of his physical needs. The more he does so, the more his soul will crave that companionship all humans need to grow but is so hard to find. This is the time when that “black dog of depression” can really get his teeth into him.

It’s a testament to the human condition the vast majority of expats manage to progress through these times and nearly all find their place in their new society. A few don’t and some seem to even relish and thrive on the superficial (although none of us are around when the black dog comes calling on them in wee hours).

Whilst the post is about the expat in all of us, I can say the Indonesian Expat if anything feels it even more acutely due to his/her strong family ties.

The partners of these expats, well to that’s another post..perhaps not from me

A few pointers for the new expat (my opinion only)

1. If your relationship at home has fractures, here it will shatter.
2. If you get involved with a local girl, you are involved with her family.
3. Security may be the compound but its not living in Indonesia.
4. Join a club, play golf..anything have to make the time.
5. What you think you said, what they think you said and what was actually said never ever met.
6. Beware the black dog he is always waiting to feed.

So next time you see one of those "hell raising, over paid, expats" and you go home to your loving wife, family and place of comfort. Perhaps you may wish to consider that the grass is not always greener.

Monday, July 31, 2006

Indonesian cool stuff

Treespotter certainly fired things up with his post on expats. I have almost bailed on that one as it seemed to be getting very personal and nasty. I was also having a lot trouble following the comment thread (although I do wonder who is the lemony guy? Is that me?.)

So today to put some personal myths to rest, I thought I would jot down some notes on what amazes me, intrigues me, astounds me (all those things that makes me love Indonesia) about Indonesia. I should qaulify that some of the items in the following list can induce a real love/hate thing depending on how your day is going:

Its bizarre, no matter what happens, how busy it is, the traffic is like a river finding its own level, it just somehow keeps moving along. Motor bikes will keep flowing around obsticles, trees, broken buses, footpathes etc. The tolerance displayed is amazing. If we tried jumping the line at home as is the done thing here, there would be gunfights and punch ups every 20 meters of the toll road.

No matter what the circumstances of the parents, it always seems that the kids are in uniform (normally white as well) neat, tidy and well presented. Don't see much of F U tshirts... studs thru the lip crap here.

For a westerner, it is simply amazing how the ties are kept and how far they reach. I remain an object of curiosity (pity) simply because I have not seen my sister for ten years. Babysitting here is NEVER a problem always someone around.

Ok, I will tread carefully (today only). I have met one Islamic Girl who simply amazed me (I am sure there are others) she not only "talked the talk, but walked the talk" Literally could not touch her (not a relative) but she never had a mean word about anyone (of any faith or failing). Most impressive to me was her complete and utter belief in her faith. I must admit I envied her peace, contentment and strength of conviction (it would never work for me, I am way to cynical). At the same time she represented to me the positive side of Islam as opposed to the ....

Environment.. (under severe threat)
Tigers, Apes, Jungle, Volcanos, some of the best diving in the world...amazing but disappearing.

The Street Venders..
These guys and women are the best. I can sit outside my house. The "Jamu" lady will come with a boxes of drinks (don't look at it)on her back. Drinks and potions that can make me "strong" hard????(true), skinny, fat, grow my hair (I ain't bald) etc etc..Five minutes later, the Vegitable guy comes on his motor bike and about 50% of the stuff he sells, I have no idea what it is! Or stranger yet, the vender outside the nightclub selling Viagra (?) Condoms (?) or would you believe it.... a Tie?

The Bar..
Beer is cheap, service is wonderful and you never ever open your own stubbie (bottle). A never ending passing parade of pretty girls, strange expats all who have a story, Indonesian guys who vary from the hardened regular to the eyes agoog "this is what expats do all day" type. I should add this drinking reputation can be unfortunate as the vast marjority of expats don't spend every dime drinking, most have families, loves and lifes like everyone else.

The Airlines... (QANTAS YOU SUCK)
Scary, fun, unpredictable but happy all QANTAS/BA staff should take lessons. Catch any plane with a "FLY IS CHEAP" logo and you know it will be an adventure.

The Women
Exotic, friendly, industrious, caring and slightly mystic (make that very mystic, more than one unsuspecting chap has lost his way). You have heard of the House of the Rising Sun,well every bar is like that here.

The Traditions (also under threat)
You could travel this country, for your whole life and you would still only see just the surface ripples.

The Summary

To finish off, what I love most about Indonesia is its "rawness" . Australia and its ilk for all their crys of freedom and democracy are over regulated, over taxed, "nanny states" with blind, overbearing buearcrats infesting and sucking the blood out the populace like a bad case of gut worms. Not happy with giving up smoking themselves then "do-gooders" in their never ending search for relvance resort to ensuring no one else can have a puff. You want to have kids out of wedlock, fill ya boots the state (read taxpayer) will pay for them. Insult me and I sue you, punch me and the police will arrest you. Live in so much imagined fear that the airlines won't even give you a butter knife....sad sad places these days.

Now in Indonesia, the government has very little impact on the ordinary guy in the street, it exists only for a chosen few. The rest live, breath and reproduce on their own wits and cunning. Have a problem..calling the Police, Lawyer, Legal Aid is not an option, they sort things out the traditional way. You break in my house, I will deal with it personally. Have traffic issue and abuse the other driver better be prepared to back it up because the police won't come and save your arse when it gets out of control .

Yes, it is still man's world here. PC is virtually unheard of. The kind of world you make for your family here depends on the kind of man you are, its not goverment regulated its up to you....

And I may ask what the hell is wrong with that???..absolutely nothing in my book!!

Am I going to keep at those things that do give me the Sh@ts here betcha

Thursday, July 27, 2006


Woo Hoo, its on!!! The Best Indonesian Blog elections and the stump has been nominated! Although I am bit nervous about nominated under what "incoherant rants in general" perhaps.

Anyway its on, and you can vote here. Do vote, it should be fun! I have already voted and modesty prevents me from saying how (although if the stump only gets one first place vote the jig is up).

I did vote "fair n square" well sorta... ok not at all..happy now!

I was going to do thing normal thing to gain votes and hand out t shirts but that sneaky Indcoup has that covered with his T Lestri tshirt. I might see if there are any green t shirts left over from the last national elections.

Other than the tshirts, I might have to get into gutter politics and start rumours about the various unsavory sexual habits of my fellow bloggers involving baby oil, wet suits and masking tape (nothing like a sex scandal to heat up the vote, just ask the brits).

Treespotter has already started with magnificent
spleen spurt on expat bloggers and expats in general. Jakartass. has ruled himself out as he is some sort of blogshere KPU (Election Arrangers) and we all know what happened to them. Just kidding!! Actually with him gone makes it easier for the rest of us.

On other matters, Parinduri has taken me to task for being overly negative (I think so has Treespotter but hard to tell, too much bile today). It is a fair point but in my own pathetic defence, its easier to be cynical than upbeat when writing (for me anyway).

In an effort to make up, please go and read this article, it really is a beautiful piece on the special "little people" that make Indonesia a great place to live.

A sample;

" feel more respect and appreciation for "little people" like Pak Abai, because they usually have more skills and often more integrity, and because the quality of my life is greatly enhanced by them. Now that's something I couldn't say for most politicians and entrepreneurs.

All I can say is hear hear!!

LATEST... I been challenged (with some venom) to write what I like/love about will be kinda soppy tho ..I suppose its good thing to show your soft side during election kinda like kissing shit machines (oops I meant like kissing babies..dang this being nice and uncynical(?)is going to be tough)!

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Evil Zionists and Sneaky Arabs

It might be the emotion of the times, but the recent most crisis in the Middle East has predictably got people fired up across the world.

Indonesia brought up on a fairly obscenely biased pro Palestine diet has given the Media its head and it is off and running in the "evil Zionist mode". Meanwhile, the majority of the US press is running with the "sneaky Arabs" (Syria, Iran..You know the usual suspects) and the European press is....Does anyone know what they stand for at any time (lets exclude the Guardian, fairly sure they are only a source of cheap filler articles for the Jakarta Post)?

Interestingly Al Jazeera came out with probably the most balanced reporting so far. A couple of the more interesting quotes from the Al Jazeera article include:

"accused Hezbollah of "cowardly blending" among Lebanese civilians and causing the deaths of hundreds during two weeks of cross-border violence with Israel"

"Israel's offensive "disproportionate" and "a violation of international humanitarian law."

Probably about right, pretty hard to have anything but contempt across the board with both these mobs.

I have also come under attack for having issues about Islam although I have not been able to pin down the actual root cause of complaint. Personally I don't think I do have issues with Islam.

I do have issues with mindless thugs who cower behind the shroud of religion such as the so called Islamic (???) cleric who wanted to
kill 1000 innocent bystanders to "please Allah" or....

Our very own Islamic Defenders Front (this would give you a great belly laugh if it wasn't so sad and hypercritical), the FPI (with defenders like these who needs enemies) reported the Indonesian Miss Universe contestant to the Police stating "We are reporting her and several others involved in her participation in the Miss Universe pageant, for intentionally and openly engaging in indecency,"

Now ok that's a bit extreme and more that bit intolerant but the next quote from the mob who has harassed people, stormed and ransacked various places of public (and I might add legal) entertainment, rocked and damaged various embassies, trashed magazine offices, etc etc etc is stunning in its unmitigated gall!

"We, at the FPI, are concerned. If the law is not respected, what will happen to the country?" the lawyer said.

Time the FPI came up with a new name the current one just does not do these people (?)justice and their acts justice.

At least the complete lunacy made the Taipei Times and the Washington Post so the FPI is really doing the country proud.

Oh and speaking of western media bias and paranoia, and do cast your mind back to "those" cartoons check this out.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Indonesian & Korean Day Dreams

Tired of reading, talking, writing about the one sided bias of the ME issues of the past few days. What better plan than to visit Friskodude, a sort of travel blog with attitude and check where I should be going for a holiday (Yes I still need one...bad!!).

Ramadhan is fast approaching and as they say "if you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen".

Anyway, casting around (lurking with intent), I followed a link from the Friscodude's site's to check out some new cars at Max Watsons blog Certainly a pleasant lunch hour spend looking at ..mmm new cars. Enjoy and have a great friday!

WARNING: If you are FPI, Anti Playboy, believe women should be kept in sacks then you will most certainly be offended (actually we know you will go and look, ya dirty little pervs, who are we kidding).

Women with small children, its ok safe for well adjusted, sane, moral human beings to see!!

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Testing Times

Time for a quick test.

Question One: Which one is subjected to Police Questioning and general harrassment..? (You can only pick A or B, Any comments about hoards of weapons, helicopters etc will be laughed at but not scored)

A. A government official who has
20 mins warning of a tsunami and doesn't pass the warning on... hundreds die

B. A girl who poses with her clothes on in a seriously fading (in the rest of the world)brand name magazine.

Question 2: You are a sovereign government and you allow rockets to be fired by a unelected militia force from your soil into populated areas of a seriously paraniod, armed to the teeth neighbouring nation , and the kidnap soldiers of the foresaid nation. Do you expect?

a. The nation rocketed to accept all their past wrongs (real and perceived) and beg forgiveness.

b. The International Community come rushing to the aid of a group already declared terrorist.

c. The Nation rocketed to react with massive force as they have always done, making it so much easier for another neighbouring nation to stomp you again as they did in the past

d. Middle East Nations to band together to support you because we are all brothers and until the unnamed nation came it was all peace, light and justice here.

e. You don't give a toss how many or who dies as long as you "maintain the rage"

(Ok I confess, Answer D is a red herring)

As they say "You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family"