Friday, May 23, 2008

OFFENSIVE BASTARDS

Hey There..

Like we didn't know that would happen; had the resident moron commenting rudely that my previous picture was offensive and he/she/it was going to report the Stump..

The official Stump response Screw You Pinhead! You would not know offensive if it crawled up your pants and bit you on the arse!

we have friend from Burma who has been lucky enough to create a life for themsleves outside the clutches of insane leaders of that country. We sent them an email offering condolences, thought our readers might like to read the response:

"feel like shooting the fucking chinc foreign policy for interfering by exercising their Veto vote UN in support of Junta's decision to disallow the aid workers into Burma, but when the shits hit the fan in their country, they are begging everyone to come in and help. China is making so much money and getting much needed energy supply out of Burma and dumping its unsafe and inferior goods into Burma and as long as the junta remains in power in Burma, china is laughing. arseholes really.

and of course XXXXXX all them generals..."


And pinheads have the nerve to say that a picture of stunningly attractive girl is offensive. The stump agrees with our Burma mate, those stinking generals are offensive, along with self centered, bastard nations who have the gall to pretend they are civilised and then support the Junta are highly offensive (and do look up Indonesia's stunningly pathetic stance on the Junta as well).

Can hardly wait for the day when the galahs get their way and America decides enough abuse and leaves China as the sole power in SE Asia. Wankers All!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

FREE MONEY NO RISK


Wooo Hoooo...

The Stump has hit the big time.. its beaches, bears and bare bums from here on in..
Check out the beach I am retiring too. Its ok the barely tolerant and irrational need not get offended, its not an Indonesian Beach (see no Plastic Drink Bottles on the sand)

Because you are my loyal readers and I know you can keep a secret...here's a copy of my good fortune

"
( READ CAREFULLY AND KEEP SECRET)

Dear friend,
/>
I know that this message will come to you as a surprise. I am Dr Amudu Adams personal
Assistant to the Branch Manager of Bank Of Africa(BOA)Ouagadougou Burkina
Faso. I want to inquire from you if you can handle this transaction for mutual
benefits/life opportunity for you and me. The transaction is about seeking your consent to present
you as the next of kin/ beneficiary of the US$7.3 MILLION DOLLAR, ,(SEVEN MILLION,THREE HOUNDRED
THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS), and who is a customer to the bank where i work.

He
was involved in the December 25th 2003 class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1210155166_2" style="CURSOR: hand; BORDER-BOTTOM: #0066cc 1px
dashed">Benin plane crash, with his family during their vacation journey . The Fund
is currently in a suspense account awaiting claim, the bank made a public notice that they are
ready to release this fund to any of his relatives abroad.


THEREFORE, by virtue of its nature as being utterly CONFIDENTIAL, top secret
should be maintained please!,because i am still in the active service i do not need any form of
implication especially now I'm in the verge of my retirement to endanger my career at last!.
/>
Since we got the information about his death, we have been
expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it unless
some body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking
guidelines and laws.

In that regard, i decided to seek your consent for this
prospective opportunity. Have it at the back of your mind, that the transaction does not involve
any RISK, and does not need much engagement from you, since i am familiar with this kind of
transaction being an insider.

Necessary modalities will be worked out to enable us
carry out the fund claim under a legitimate arrangement. I have resolved to offer you 30% of the
total fund, 10% for sundry expenses that may be incurred during the process of executing this
transaction and 60% percent for me.FOR SECURITY PURPOSE I WILL LIKE YOU TO CONTACTS ME IN MY
PRIVATE E-MAIL ADDRESS =class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1210155166_3">color="#003399">:dramudu_adams123@yahoo.fr

I will give you more
details about the transaction when I receive your affirmative response,more clarification
information.Please I would like you to keep this proposal as a top secret and delete it if you are
not interested.

I'm waiting to hear from you soon.

I
look forward to your earliest response
Regards and
thanks,

Dr Amudu Adams


Well Doctor Flog Guts.. I hope thousand emus raced into your backyard and kick ya dunny down..Although to be fair you are only a maggoty beginner when it comes to scams..We have the Indonesian Idol of Scams in this country looking after peoples welfare..Ya Brothers Grim and the mud pack kids..

BTW...Did anyone ever keep the address of the scam busters web site that Indocoup had before the forces of darkness overwhelmed him.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

How to cook an Accountant

Sheesh..It’s been a tough few weeks and battling the accountants has been like a scene from day of the Triffids, but we are hanging in there with not a few scalps under our belts.

Achieved a new Indonesian Airline Record, eight Lion air flights and was delayed nine times! (only in Indonesia, sick of being delayed, paid business class with another dodgy airline only to be delayed because a Lion Airline plane was broken and blocking the entrance to runway..BUGGER). Fair Dinkum and these Wackers want to run a nuclear power-plant, the mind boggles (glows?).

Still was nice to see the forces of tolerance and freedom of religion doing their bit for the Indonesia, Nothing like the burning of a place of worship and the homes of women and children to prove your devotion to GOD (although chucking children and virgins down the mouth of fiery volcanos would definitely bring back the crowds, seems an opportunity missed considering the number of volcanos just waiting for the tolerant in this country).

The Stump’s mate, Rob from the Rab Experience comment on the East Timor Post that the Indonesian version of history was not surprising and he is of course quite correct. Bizarre would be a term that springs to mind.

Although, the Stump is also surprised and the blinkered view that the Western Liberal Love Duds take on the “Freedom Fighters” they certainly were no slouches in the lets treat people like animals stakes.

Onto more recent news, nature’s fury in Burma has exposed the absolute myth pushed by ASEAN nations that the third way “sssshhh don’t offend anyone” because the Asian way is better.

Of course, Stump has always had an issue with the world’s wanker nations huffing and puffing about the US and its evil GITMO prison etc. The simple fact is the worst conditions in an American Prison don’t hold a candle to the injustices and abuse that occur in the accusing nations (Indonesia included, although only if you are poor).

It’s not so much that the US has GITMO because on the scale of 1-10 in evil it rates a 1 compared to the other ratbags, we are just disappointed that the US lowered its standards to float at the edges of that particular cess pool.

Have fun.

Today’s Recipe.

Take one beady eyed, inbred, buck toothed, accountant.
Skin thoroughly, add spices to taste
Lower slowly into a boiling pot (don’t worry about the screams that’s just the air escaping)
Through in one leather safety boot (REDWING is best), same pot
Boil until Boot is soft
Once Boot is soft, remove accountant
Throw away accountant and eat boot (there is no residual nourishment in accountants dead or alive)