Wednesday, December 19, 2007


Lost one of my favorite reading blogs recently due to a particularly nasty piece of intimidation. Although for most Indonesians, it’s difficult for them to raise a sweat about anything like that. Intimidation and being stomped by the powers that be is just part of their daily lives.

As an example here’s the last three days of my life involving arseholes we meet in our daily lives in Indonesia (and we are the sheltered ones):

1. Going to pick up goods a local outlet, pissing down with rain everyone is soaked. Can anyone load their vehicles. Nope three cars with government plates are parked under the cover at the entrance, whilst their arrogant owners sip coffee and laugh at peasants getting soaked as they are forced to carry their goods out into the rain... PIGS

2. Friend is selling TV, local copper comes around offers 1/3 of the asking price. When offer refused, copper waggles finger under her nose at the same time saying “HATI HATI IBU (Be careful Missus)....THUG

3. Knock on the door on Sunday (why is it, these idiots don’t understand if I don’t know you then don’t come to my front door you ain’t welcome, particularly on a Sunday)..Open the door, two Arab Wannbes “Hey Mister, You pay us to draw homage to Allah in Arabic Script on your Wall outside and later you have no trouble (ok that a loose translation, took me twenty minutes figure out what the parasites were on about)....WANNBES

4. Idiot two blocks down the road builds a car port on the road out the front of his house. Asked the princess regent, how does he do that and get away with it? Answer “Dia Kaya” (he’s rich therefore can do what he likes)....ARROGANT BASTARDS

5. Dispute with local business (they stealing from us). Arsehole comes around threatening staff and then me with the usual “You only Bule (White Prick) I have you deported because I have friends”....CROOK

As a matter of interest, actions on:

1. Walk into coffee shop order a coffee dripping wet and ask in a loud voice, “Who are the arrogant pigs, who own the vehicles outside” (and watch the staff go pale whispering it’s the XXXXX mister)
2. Nothing yet, told her if he rings back give my number
3. Assisted exit from the property
4. Laugh
5. Acknowledged what he said was true, asked him to wait and then came back and gave him his home address and informed him I would be sure to drop in and say goodbye if I was deported and again assisted exit

I can get away with acting like that to a certain degree, I suppose one day I will come undone but not really a bit deal. I will move to another job in another country and another Bule will come and do mine here (Business ethics and education of children ain't a priority).

Just imagine what it must be like for the normal guy in the street, dealing with crap like this day after day, year after year. You can soon understand when the lid finally blows it really blows in a sickening and devastating manner. You have to admire the little guys better men than I putting up with this crap day in day out..

I digress, the point of this post was with my favorite acidic and most interesting blogger gone it was all becoming boring. I have been hunting around for something to liven up the standard Indonesian blog world of Gadgets, Sycophants and Adrian Mole diaries. I think I have found a couple worth further investigation, see below:

GJ Jakarta , an amusing take on Jakarta life, fellow cat hater (which bodes well) obviously culturally well above most as he displays a love of the oval ball.

Also a bloke who runs around by the name of DILLIGAF although he seems to be a refugee from that high society JAKCHAT site.


P.S .. Did you hear about BENNY THE BROWN NOSE REINDEER…He is placed in the sleigh right behind Rudolph. He can run as fast as Rudolph just can’t stop as quick.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007


As you know I am a liberal, easy going bloke who is at home with my own thoughts and at peace with the world. It takes a lot to get me to rant and rave BUUUUUUTTTTTTTTT…

The bitch should be horse whipped within an inch of her life and placed in the village stocks for a month and then deported to the worst place on earth or a date with buck toothed, crazy ABB.

Over the top you may think, I can assure you that is not the case. I am sure every reasonable, rational male will agree with me that she should be horse whipped, once I outline the transgressions against the natural order of things.

Prepare to shake your head in woe as I relate this sad tale of perversion.,,

There I was innocently watching the Australian Sports News (beamed by Sat from Australia to ensure sanity amongst its wandering sons and daughters, cast adrift in the wide scary world). When the pretty (but ultimately evil) News presenter stated “Stay tuned for the annual footballer of the year award” Naturally, this raised a puzzled look on my face, the Brownlow had been awarded, as had the Magarey Medals…What on earth, was this bint on about?

Straight after the break, she then launched into a tirade about the = medal being football’s most sought after and went straight to the news clip…..

It was BLOODY SOCCER not FOOTBALL you heretic piece of uneducated fluff!

You remember soccer, half a dozen guys who through various accidents have lost the use of exactly half of their appendages run around chasing a round ball. Meanwhile some dodgy crowd straight from the soup kitchens chants monosyllabic incantations to accompany the rioting (seen the film 28 days later, thats live english soccer footage). Well sheeeet…what else are they gunna do there is no scoring. Then after two hours of this, everyone lines up and kicks the ball at some wanker in front of a fish net (or wearing fish nets, I dunno never lasted that long to see it).

In fact upon calm, reasoned reflection, I have decided horse whipping is too good for her and her multi cultural, lesbian, leftist, whale saving, pillow biting, latte sipping, salad munching mates.



I have not been this angry since JC got to play half back flank for Jerusalem under the Father Son rule in the GRAND FINAL against the Romans.

Please note: regular rants will appear after a suitable period of mourning for the loss of cultural integrity.

Friday, December 14, 2007


More often than not a common comment received after running any post percieved as negtive towards Indonesia is the inane "If you don't like it here leave" along with assorted abuse. I love enteraining those morons as representing as they do the very tip of masterful debate amongst the xenophobes.

Seriously, no-one who enjoys irony could ever consider leaving Indonesia. A case in point, check out this piece of slapstick printed in the JP today (but better in full here)

"JAKARTA (AFP) - Indonesia's welfare minister and his family, under fire for their company's role in an oozing mud volcano that has displaced thousands, has topped Forbes Asia's 2007 Indonesia rich list, the magazine said Thursday.

Aburizal Bakrie and his family saw their net worth blow out to 5.4 billion dollars this year, up from 1.2 billion dollars in 2006 when they were sixth on the list, according to the title's December 24 edition.

The largest contributor to their wealth gain came from surging stock prices in Bakrie Group's largest holding, coal producer Bumi Resources, it reported.

Bakrie has faced sustained criticism over the role his part-owned company Lapindo Brantas played in triggering the mud volcano in Sidoarjo, East Java, which began spurting in May 2006 during exploratory gas drilling by Lapindo.

While many experts say the company's negligence led to the flow, Lapindo maintains that it was caused by a nearby earthquake.

Some 10,000 victims have been told to accept compensation from Lapindo for their land, with no payout for other losses such as houses and material goods.

Overall, Forbes reported that the 40 wealthiest Indonesians added 18 billion dollars to their combined wealth this year, bringing it up to 40 billion dollars. The country is now home to 11 billionaires, up from seven last year.

Following the Bakries on the Forbes list was pulp, paper and palm oil tycoon Sukanto Tanoto, whose wealth increased from 2.8 billion to 4.7 billion dollars this year. He was in top spot last year.

The ranking of Tanoto, whose largest companies April and Asian Agri own massive plantations both in Indonesia and abroad, comes as his home country hosts an international conference to negotiate a new pact on climate change. (ok, help me I am about to collapse with laughter..Human body can take just so much irony)April, which has a history of clearing virgin forests, has made efforts to green its image, including sending representatives to the conference on Bali.

Deforestation is a major source of the carbon emissions that contribute to climate change.

A new face on the list was Bambang Trihatmodjo, the second son of former dictator Suharto, at number 33 with an estimated wealth of 200 million dollars. He owns 13 percent of media conglomerate Global Mediacom."

This does not even need a rant...Sorry you were saying????

But worth 5.4billion dollars..Net means after tax right..Wow..Now a serious jouranlist would just have to find out what was really paid in Tax ..wouldn't he/she?.

(so it was a little rant..)

P.S. Sorry about the photo, if anyone finds it offensive or pornographic I will take it down. Just send threatening letters in the usual manner.

Thursday, December 13, 2007


The Greenstump happens to think that good governance is not a cultural thing or political system thing but rests solely on the shoulders of a Free and Aggressive Press. The notion that any one group of people are more honest than others is a nonsense. However, the fear of exposure will keep many of the nastiest of us on the straight and narrow.

One of the things that continually puzzle me is the way people say with a straight face that a free press exists in Indonesia. It doesn't! Although this has less to do with Government Regulation and more to do with the lack of solidarity amongst journalists. The silence and acceptance when one of their brethren is attacked or threatened (legally or physically)is mystifying to someone brought up on the ideals of a free and aggressive Press Corp.

This lack of support has lead to the Conga Line of Suckholes that currently provide the schloss that passes for news and information in Indonesia...Yeesss Pak...No Pak...Thank You Pak. A quick example, why isn’t the press crawling all over this guy!
It was the world’s worst and most inept explanation for systematic corruption and yet he gets away with it. By the way, I don’t blame the plodders that actually did the deed in the linked video. Your average copper have little choice but to engage in "external" activities just to survive on the official wage not to mention the burden of repaying the entry to the force favours.

Even more of a freedom of speech concern are those who both within and outside the profession that support the suppression of free speech. Their very first plank of treachery to the people is the nebulous claim there has to an absolute responsibility for what is written. What thuggish and dictatorial rubbish!

When it comes to comments on public figures and politicians as the cartoon says “You wear green tights, ya take your chances”. In a democracy, the only way to hold these people accountable is via the press. In regard to this trust, with some notable exceptions, who are regularly left hanging by their brethren when the dark powers move in to silence their critics, the Press fails not only the people but itself.

Spare me the spurious argument that does that mean I support pornography, hate sites etc. A healthy robust reporting community exposes such evils to the light of day where they wither and die anyway. To say otherwise underestimates the readers and insults the public. Libel and slander allegations are generally is just so much floss and the last refuge of the corrupt and evil. Newspapers, Television even blogs become self regulating if allowed to conduct themselves in an environment of free speech rather than one of fear, intimidation and money favours.

It may surprise some that even blog world is self regulating if allowed to be. For instance, a regular blogging Troll happens to state that Greenstump spends a lot of time in a pool of vomit. Slander, not really, the Troll has no credibility and would not be believed by any reasonable person. Should a more respected member of the blog world say that, quite possibly it would be believed. However, continued falsehoods would quickly eat any at the site’s reputation and damage returned would be far more than the slander slung. More to the point a fair and aggressive questioning by others on dubious assertions presented (free from violence and intimidation) would soon relegate the transgressor to the dustbin of the also-rans.

However, all of the above is not the case in Indonesia which remains a scary place for any that step out of line (although difficult to know who drew the line). Even here in good ol Blog World, there is this silly notion that bloggers should not be anonymous(or allowed to be). Whilst, I concur that the very fact you are anonymous (albeit to a certain extent a delusion) detracts from the reputation of your posts for a lot of us its small price to pay for some level of protection from the small minded, the petty and the vindictive.

There is no shortage of nasties who seek to stifle free speech in ALL it's forms and strangely these "throwbacks" to darker times are supported by the most surprising of people. To suggest that there is no risk in commenting on the rich and powerful or even the just plain nasty in Indonesia is to live in a fantasy world of bizarre dimensions.

To subscribe to the notion that a writer who pokes fun and mischief at the powerful, the self absorbed and the egotistical should be held to same standard of proofs required in a court of law is absurd. Even more obscene is the suggestion, that a writer in any forum should expect (or deserve) threats of violence if they annoy someone by what they write in the public interest (whoever small or large their public may be)

Should there be standards, of course there should. As discussed previously a healthy robust writing community will and should self regulate via debate, discussion, ridicule if required. Threats of violence and the suppression of someone’s right to speak, should not be supported by “dollar each way comments” in any shape or form. It’s sad to read such comments by people with the experience to know better because there lies the road to the destruction of their own prepubescent industry.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007


Greenstump has been accused of being critical and all over the map. I prefer the term "All over the place like mad women’s shit" but I digress. Then again that’s the whole purpose of a “Rant’ isn’t it? According to the Greenstump Dictionary of barely researched words

“Rant” – To vent ones spleen and cover as many by-standers, innocent or otherwise with said contents of spleen”

Whilst some would say that Ranting not particularly clever where Freedom of Speech and the right to question is fluid, abstract concept despite rather grandiose statements to the contrary. I do have an excuse and a defence for my rants;

SANE Australia (some would say their name alone is a contradiction in terms) says people with mental illnesses
make up nearly 40 per cent of all smokers

Now there’s a defence I can get into..

Oh well that’s all for today, I will write more on the silly concept that Bloggers should not be allowed to be anonymous in Indonesia later..Right now I am ducking out for SMOKE..

“They’re coming to take me away ha ha ..he he..ha ha…Where life is beautiful all time”

Monday, December 10, 2007


For a country that regularly demonises others as Arrogant (Whose turn is this week anyway? Singapore, Malaysia, Australia…yawn) Indonesia acts at times like a brutish 14 year teenager. The uproar about Malaysia stealing a “so-called” Indonesian song would be “roll around on the floor laughing funny” if it wasn’t so pathetic! Since when did Indonesia show any regard at all for intellectual property rights, particularly in the movie or music arena. Pot this is Kettle over? Want a real challenge, just try and buy original software for your computer in any capital city in Indonesia! Not sure why Indonesia feels so superior to Malaysia anyway, last time it got to knuckles in the sand pit, Indonesia got a bloodied nose.

The sheer arrogance of some recent comments in the local papers and in various blogs demonstrates a very insecure and xenophobic mindset. A classic “letter to the editor” in a major Indonesian Paper today reads “Malaysia doesn’t seem to have any original art, culture, and traditions. All of it has come from Indonesia” A nice piece of paranoid, xenophobic, nationalist claptrap and a typical reaction you will find in most opinion pieces. Besides being just plain nasty, I am sure the Dayaks on the Indonesian side of Borneo will be please to know they contribute nothing in art, culture or traditions (Well if the Malay Dayaks have nothing to offer, then surely the reverse is true).

Personally, I find the outer regions and ethnic groups have far more to offer in traditions, arts and culture than the current dominant ethnic group whose origins are disappearing as transplanted eastern culture (?) threatens to overwhelm all before it. Perhaps its time for some people to grow up a bit and get out of the schoolyard mentality.

Whilst on the topic of arrogance, I am impressed! What size of balls does it take to stand on stage in Bali as a regional leader and declare you are serious about Climate Change and Pollution Issues, when your country is losing a forest the size of soccer field every second? Where over 50% of your population does not have access to clean water? Where your capital city is grid locked and its rivers run/slime black.

Climate Change and Kyoto is also big deal for the new Australian Government (For those that don’t know Australian has a new government and Prime Minister) The diminutive new Prime Minister Ear Wax sent the usual bunch of hangers-on to declare that Australia would sign the Kyoto accords (you know the one where Australia and the US should sign but China, Indonesia and India are not bound to any emission targets). Well talk about well received, as our cross eyed, tax payer funded delegate announced Australia would become a Kyoto signatory!!! Yeaaa Team!!!… Australia got not one, but two rounds of sustained applause. Too bad, it was not mentioned that even if Aliens came and spirited off every single Australian and every single industry, the combined effect on world emissions would be less than 1%...YIPPEE what a save!.Typical Australian Labour Party..long on symbolism short on substance.

Having 10,000(?) UN delegates and hangers swanning around Bali to discuss climate change is just another proof that the UN is the world’s ultimate oxygen thief. If they were serious, they might have considered having the conference in Jakarta or Bangkok or Rio but no fun in that I guess.

Still we get to listen to all the usual crap with no results. The boringly predictable “its all the fault of the US and the developed world” and poor bugger me standard (Yawn) synopsis. The big bad developed world must cut emissions and hand out swags of money to developing (more on that it dubious term in a second) nations, so we can sit on our arses and do nothing but blame someone else for all their troubles. You can almost see some of the regional delegates salivating at the money they will be able to cream off. It’s going to be a good time to be a real estate agent in Jakarta or Singapore, you can just feel that suckered aid money rolling in. Oh nearly forgot, just for laughs, Singapore wants to be considered a Developing Nation as does the UAE.

Well…bugger off!!!

There is huge difference between a developing nation (say Solomon Islands) and a retarded (say guess) nation. Some of these so called developing nations have a simply staggering wealth of natural resources, including a wealth of diverse, clever people and yet their people live in virtual sewers. Climate Warming and Developed Nations have sweet FA to do with your problems. You are (in the majority of cases) not developing nations but nations retarded by thieves and inept leaders.

The only reason these nations have not developed into economic and clean, regional powerhouses is the absolute absence of forward thinking, dynamic and honest leaders and a cowed populace that accepts such losers as leaders. Instead, the poor buggers who scrape to survive in these nations are lumbered (pun intended) with a bunch of short sighted, self important, arrogant (with no reason to be), often murderous, kleptomaniacs as leaders and rest of the world just keeps looking the other way.

This pointing at the US and other developed nations is science at its most blatantly flawed. Even the most basic cost (CO2/Pollution) vs benefit (Infrastructure/Standard of Living) analysis would indicate there is a huge difference between the top three nations and what benefits actually flow to the general populace (Ok to put it plainly..out of the top three, two of you suck the big one and deserve nothing more than a gigantic kick up the arse).

Its time to stop encouraging these delinquent nations and their Harkonnenske Leaders with more cash handouts as a reward for sheer environmental vandalism, Perhaps its time for the grown ups to pour the money back into their own conservation efforts and leave the Barons to wallow in the own filth.. As for the said delinquents, you want to cut down every last stand of forest, you want to live in a permanent yellow haze and drink sewer water..fill ya boots! It’s nobody else’s fault that your rivers run black, your people are subjected to killer floods, your children die young from lack of clean water, You cannot breathe the air in your cities. If you cannot see that, then it’s not really that important anyway because very soon it won’t make any difference.


How’s this for arrogance. In today’s Jakarta Post, there is a Climate Conference Lift Out and within that an Advertorial (paid for by who, doesn’t say whistle I’ll point). Amongst a wealth of very dubious statements comes this gem

“Experts are convinced that the mud spewing out in Sidoarjo is a natural phenomenon not a result of drilling undertaken by Lapindo Brantas Inc”
(Apparently all the experts come from the Bandung Institute of Technology..mmm .. Weren’t they the geniuses that came up with the dropping concete balls down the hole will fix it?)

And this “Lapindo Brantas has followed up on what constitutes it’s obligations and responsibility”

Thanks JP ..The defence rests but didn’t you feel just a little bit guilty putting that advertorial in the Climate Change and Environment Lift Out?

Sunday, December 09, 2007


Some Pretentious twits over at INDONESIAN MATTERS (See Side Bar) are getting all hot under the collar about what makes correct Bahasa Indonesian and/or Correct English..Sorry Folks ain't no such thing...
But if you want to see a language at it's best see below, and as for the English Purists.."take the 'ole mad world as 'arf a joke."


This ev'nin' I was sittin' wiv Doreen,
Peaceful an' 'appy wiv the day's work done,
Watchin', be'ind the orchard's bonzer green,
The flamin' wonder of the settin' sun.

Another day gone by; another night
Creepin' along to douse Day's golden light;
Another dawning when the night is gone,
To live an' love -- an' so life mooches on.

Times I 'ave thought, when things was goin' crook,
When 'Ope turned nark an' Love forgot to smile,
Of somethin' I once seen in some old book
Where an ole sorehead arsts, "Is life worf w'ile?"

But in that stillness, as the day grows dim,
An' I am sittin' there wiv 'er an' 'im--
My wife, my son! an' strength in me to strive,
I only know -- it's good to be alive!

Yeh live, yeh love, yeh learn; an' when yeh come
To square the ledger in some thortful hour,
The everlastin' answer to the sum
Must allus be, "Where's sense in gittin' sour?"

Fer when yeh've come to weigh the good an' bad --
The gladness wiv the sadness you 'ave 'ad --
Then 'im 'oo's faith in 'uman goodness fails
Fergits to put 'is liver in the scales.

Livin' an' loving learnin' day be day;
Pausin' a minute in the barmy strife
To find that 'elpin' others on the way
Is gold coined fer your profit -- sich is life.

I've studied books wiv yearnings to improve,
To 'eave meself out of me lowly groove,
An' 'ere is orl the change I ever got:
"'Ark at yer 'eart, an' you kin learn the lot."

I gives it in -- that wisdom o' the mind --
I wasn't built to play no lofty part.
Orl such is welkim to the joys they find;
I only know the wisdom o' the 'eart.

An' ever it 'as taught me, day be day,
The one same lesson in the same ole way:
"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
Fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."

Life's wot yeh make it; an' the bloke 'oo tries
To grab the shinin' stars frum out the skies
Goes crook on life, an' calls the world a cheat,
An' tramples on the daisies at 'is feet.

But when the moon comes creepin' o'er the hill,
An' when the mopoke calls along the creek,
I takes me cup o' joy an' drinks me fill,
An' arsts meself wot better could I seek.

An' ev'ry song I 'ear the thrushes sing
That everlastin' message seems to bring;
An' ev'ry wind that whispers in the trees
Gives me the tip there ain't no joys like these:

Livin' an' loving wand'rin' on yet way;
Reapin' the 'arvest of a kind deed done;
An' watching in the sundown of yer day,
Yerself again, grown nobler in yer son.

Knowin' that ev'ry coin o' kindness spent
Bears interest in yer 'eart at cent per cent;
Measurin' wisdom by the peace it brings
To simple minds that values simple things.

An' when I take a look along the way
That I 'ave trod, it seems the man knows best,
Who's met wiv slabs of sorrer in 'is day,
When 'e is truly rich an' truly blest.

An' I am rich, becos me eyes 'ave seen
The lovelight in the eyes of my Doreen;
An' I am blest, becos me feet 'ave trod
A land 'oo's fields reflect the smile o' God.

Livin' an' lovin'; learnin' to fergive
The deeds an' words of some un'appy bloke
Who's missed the bus -- so 'ave I come to live,
An' take the 'ole mad world as 'arf a joke.

Sittin' at ev'nin' in this sunset-land,
Wiv 'Er in all the World to 'old me 'and,
A son, to bear me name when I am gone....
Livin' an' lovin' -- so life mooches on.


Friday, December 07, 2007

So you think thats offensive


How Moses got the 10 commandments

God went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better."

The Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?"

And the Lord said, "They are rules for living."

"Can you give us an example?"

"Thou shall not kill."

"Not kill? We're not interested."

So He went to the Blacks and said, "I have Commandments."

The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Honor thy Father and Mother."

"Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We're not interested."

Then He went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments."

The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said "Thou shall not steal."

"Not steal? We're not interested."

Then He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments."

The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, "Thou shall not commit adultery."

"Not commit adultery? We're not interested."

Finally, He went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments."

"Commandments?" They said, "How much are they?"

"They're free."

"We'll take 10."

There, that should offend just about everybody


Busy just some Kenapas (Why)(ok its a loose translation bear with me)

Kenapa UN Conference on Climate Change is not held in Jakarta

Kenapa UN HQ is not on the WEST BANK (NEW YORK is hardly a trouble spot)

Kenapa Roads in Indonesia have white lines in the middle

Kenapa Walhi cares more about Newmont than the poor buggers stuck in the MUD at Surabya

Kenapa People still buy anything with the Bakrie on it

Kenapa People refer to countries as developing countries when the real word should be RETARDED by corrupt and evil leaders

Kenapa Singapore, UAE get to class themselves as developing countries

Kenapa - It is developed nations problem to bail the retarded (as opposed to fair dinkum developing) nations out of the shit time and again

Kenapa Siti the health minister still has job

Kenapa The Indonesian Government expects us to believe the owner of those smog spewing death trap buses are not paying brides

Kenapa The Japanese need to kill a thousand Whales a year for Research

Kenapa The Japanese Researchers have not won a prize for the being the worlds dumiest researchers (see above)

Kenapa VP Kalla reminds me of the actor in Lord of the Rings (you know the one)

Wednesday, December 05, 2007


Along with the God Bothering Neighbours we have another pest problem... CATS thousands of them (ok tens of them). I hate the murdering feral pests, keen on a nice garden, lots of birds therefore feral squalling cats are not a nice nor welcome addition.

So reaching back into childhood memories (small cats aka kittens make the best Murray Cod Bait)I built a snap door trap to capture the pets of Satan. I was about to dispose of the first one..

"Why are throwing that cat in the rubbish bin full of water"

"EER..They like soothes them as they watch the bubbles from the bottom"

Not a good answer..Apparently killing (soothing) a cat brings bad luck to the family and is a absolute no-no...Bugger!

Still anything to keep the peace... and peace shall reign unless the numerous small mounds that appear in the garden every time the CAT PROTECTION POLICE go shopping get noticed.

Still if they are noticed, I might go for the fairy ring defence...don't fight superstitions make up better ones...

Tuesday, December 04, 2007


"I am not an ATHEIST I just believe in one less GOD than you"

As a secular soul, one of the first things you learn when living in Indonesia is the basic truism of real estate location, location, location is still very relevant. The process is fairly simple, find the house and then drive around looking for the nearest Mosque. The closer the Mosque the less sleep you will enjoy. It also pays to come around and check out the house about the time for the evening call to prayer, hills and valleys can do interesting things with the travel of sound.

Sound (pun intended) a bit culturally insensitive! Not really places like Singapore must have a law of just how loud the Call to Prayer can be and there must be some sort of school for the Prayer Police as they manage to sound somewhat human. Indonesia by contrast just sounds full of wailing cats. A fevered desire to combine the worst public speaking (?) voice with the tinniest, cheapest speakers at full volume seems to be designed to encourage people to pray by pain alone. Worse, some idiot decide their kids playing with the microphone at full volume after prayers are cute. Here’s a tip, the kid leaning back on the plane seat making faces and the kid playing on the microphone is not cute, he’s a brat!).

(To digress, personally I would ban microphones throughout Indonesia as a health hazard! Also will someone please show the PP what the bass knob is for)

So fully armed with the hard earned above experience, the Stump sought out a new abode for us to continue life in Indonesia. Lo, a new abode was found, far from any Mosque (ok then... as far as possible in Indonesia). Come Call to Prayer time AND only muted calls could be heard....AAAH. Cool, signed the deal, moved in...All is Bliss ….UNTIL…

Tuesday Night, 8pm, car after car start arriving next door…Oh no, Christian Gospel Singers until midnight twice a week………..AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

If nothing else you have to appreciate God Delusion’s sense of humour…

Sunday, November 25, 2007


AAAGH I was wrong!! The Australian People have elected the Left Wing, Union Dominated Australian Labour Party and as the the Pope said to the Nun when the condom broke.."This can't be good"

Oh well there goes the budget surplus.

The average Indonesian will say that's good thing because that (Ex)Prime Minister Howard was a racist or arrogant along with the other tripe fed to them by morons. The reality is that Indonesia just fell off the Australian radar, ear wax chewing Rudd (The new PM)is a unmitigated Chinaphode and you can bet that China will be the new focus for Australia (Indonesia loses out yet again to China). Worse is yet to come for Indonesia, once the Democrats turf Bush (who every Indonesian loves to hate) all those pesky human rights and trade protection issues are going to come home to roost in a big way.

In the meantime, I am off to check how far the Aud $ has fallen against the USD..there must be some good news this weekend.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

The Plastic Ocean

Now back to our regular holiday feature. One of the more pleasing aspects of the trip was the the complete lack of plastic bags and rubbish whereever we went along the Great Ocean Road. In fact, you could not buy or even get a plastic bag at the super market, you had to bring your own or pay for one their cloth bags (probably made in Indonesia). Anyone who has lived in Indonesia will know how the most common form of ocean life is the black and white plastic bags, closely followed by those triffords of the water industry, the plastic cup.

Unlike some of the expensive and no-effect changes proposed by the Climate Change Shriekers, whose sole effect in Indonesia has been to allow morally bankrupt businessmen to gut thousands of acres of forest in the name of climate saving eco-fuels (??!!). I can see nothing but good coming from an Indonesian wide ban on plastic bags and their ilk.

Why not holday in Indonesia? Well we do regularly, but to access somewhere pristine with a reasonable amount of infrastructure (Back - packing is for those people who don't any better) is becoming more and more difficult..although still open to suggestions.

More pictures tomorrow

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Compulsory Military Service

The stump, like most expat bloggers who make any statement, or advance an opinion that shows Indonesian Society as anything else than a Utopia of tolerance and diversity get our share of hate mail. Invariably the xenophobes advise us to "go home" if we don’t like it, whilst drawing upon the usual xenophobic rants about “bule” social habits and choice of partners etc etc (I never said they were intelligent envy rants).

Personally, I think despite the lunacy, its kind of fun working here for awhile and besides the money is good (and it would want to be!). Additionally, I have family ties in this country, so I have had no real thoughts of leaving.

Having said that, it came as a bit of shock discover the Indonesian Government (I use the term loosely) is sponsoring a bill to force us to leave the country within six years.

A compulsory military service bill if passed, means that any Indonesian over the age of 18 may be subject to five years Military Service (although to be fair, that would only be those without the right connections). As this would directly affect a member of our family within six years, perhaps the writing is on the wall.

Now, having some experience of Military Service in a previous life, I am not against a couple of years of compulsory service for anyone in society. I believe it teaches character, discipline and respect for others. Of course that is only true in a professional, accountable, ethical organisation and these are not terms that even have a nodding acquaintance with Indonesia's unreformed uniformed thugs.
Fair Dinkum, I would rather he play soccer and become a greenie than enter the culture of intimidation, corruption and bullies that thrives in Indonesia's Thug brigades.

Still then again, at the rate the legislature works, they will probably still be debating the bill in six years. Of course, the so called people's servants may have really reformed by then too, we will know who was behind the Jakarta Riots, The sponsors of the Miltitia’s in East Timor and the murderers of the Balibo Five and any number of other innocent Indonesians at the hands of their “protectors”.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007


Hi all,

Been a bit idle lately with the blogging, although as can been seen from the picture far far better things to do. Bit of a trip to Victoria and toured the great Ocean Road, was a cold but fantastic trip.

Of course every trip has its downside, we meet our first fair dinkum aussie racist who strangely enough works (or manages? Who knows, he never had the guts to introduce himself properly)at an Anglesea Holiday Park. Its a strange world when these kind of idiots can get jobs in the tourist industry. It is always a bit of challenge when you run across these bottom feeders. Do you rear up and piss on them to at least make them smell like a man and risk leaving your loved ones alone whilst you cool your heels in Gaol, or do you just ignore the driftwood of life?

Meanwhile, the Australian Election is now a week away. With the twerp Rudd getting a dream run from the media and actually getting away with making statements for the economic future such as "Australia could become fund managers for chinese investors in Latin America". Who said the Looney Australian Labour Party of old was gone! Of course the habitual liar Howard is doing all he can to stay in power, flinging money around like a mad woman's shit.

Still, personally I cannot lose! If the union driven, Labour Party gets the nod, the aussie dollar will fall back to 50 cents to the USD and my USD wage looks a lot lot better. If the liar, but pro business Howard gets in, the economy will continue to go from strength to strength and my job opportunities will expand even more than they already have.

What else,.. Ah yes even in secular Australia, the "believers" are still scamming the poor bloody taxpayer. The NSW government is about to wear a $100 million bill for an upcoming visit from the King Condom Hater Pope Whatever Who Cares. Just goes to prove we all still have a long way to go to escape the clutches of the self appointed, self important and self delusional speakers for the various GODs of the Gaps.

Back in Indonesia I see we have been living up to our tolerant and inclusive image with more intimidation and arrests of people who happen to follow a different witchdoctor than the rest. Way to go lads!

ASEAN...Laugh..joke time (unless you are from Burma)

And lastly, Drugs in Sport. As a former sportsman of no repute but much effort, I have no sympathy for Drug Cheats and believe it is no laughing matter. However this comment made me laugh:

European Tour Chief Executive George O'Grady suggesting (tongue in cheek)that drug testing in Golf could be limited to Tiger Woods

Tuesday, October 23, 2007


Just goes to show how wrong a bloke can be. I thought my posts may have been leaning a little bit too far right and pro business lately and perhaps it's time that I did a post in support of the environment and a bit of social comment. All in the name of balance of course.

Well lo and behold, along comes a commentator on Indo Matters who "outs me" and my meager scribblings as "gunk" with "cultural marxist undercurrents". Well "GUNK" is probably a fair description, marxist undercurrents?? Oh well, its so Manchurian Candidate(the original not the one where business replaces the evil commies), I just never knew.

I haven't had such a good chuckle since the pictured comment below and thought I would share the joy!..cheers

"Seriously, Achmad, I do not pick on people, unless they are very infantile people who mix into adult debate. They should be seen and not heard if they cannot hold a steady discussion without the sort of tantrums evinced in the post just above this.
I do not let temper dictate my posts, but type them equably, addressing civilised critics in a civilised manner. However, I reserve the right to make exceptions of little reds like Ogglet, who first made my acquaintance with the greeting ’sac of pus’ in another thread. That was his sophisticated analysis of a theory supported by many historians, notably the Dutchman Dake, and which accords with all that’s known of communist practice everywhere.
I must express surprise at your claim that he is not a commie, or fellow-traveller, but then, as you say, ‘reading is different from understanding.’ I shall take you at your word also, and assume you read all his gunk yet did not see the cultural marxist undercurrents. (like his last throwaway phrase on J. Edgar Hoover- types like Ogglet usually parrot the Comintern smear about Hoover, regardless of the fact it was a figment of some NKVD agents’s imagination.)"

Anyway I have to go now, I feel this strange urge to throw away 40 years of hard work and hand over all my assets to the state and work on a collective.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Howard Rudd and Communist Dolphins

A the battle royal goes on in Australian Politics, much to mangy lefts horror the Labour Party's (Little Kevin Rudd' Mob) reported huge lead in the polls has been cut by half in the first week. Of course that was to be expected, the people of Australia are tired of the Howard (Liberal Party) Government and have expressed a desire for change. Unfortunately, the more they look at the alternative, the more it appears Rudd is just a Bangkok Whore, pretty to look at but bloody expensive and unpredictable in a long term relationship.

The big debate between Rudd and Howard was televised tonight and that may give the whore a bit of a push as Howard was caught flat footed on a number of occasions.

Meanwhile those of you lucky enough to be regular passengers of EMIRATES AIRLINES (I hear they are very "Swish"). You will be pleased to know that EMIRATES are also the bastards that supply the transport and support the live Dolphin trade. One of the more repugnant things we do to other species.

HONIARA, Solomon Islands - The carcasses of three bottlenose dolphins - including a calf - were found dumped near a holding pen in the Solomon Islands where controversial exports of the mammals were planned. The exporting company on Wednesday denied any knowledge.

The partly decomposed bodies of the dolphins, which were torn open, apparently by stray dogs, were found on Tuesday night lying in the open near a coastal garbage dump site near the capital, Honiara.

Solomon Island Marine Mammal Education Center and Exporters Ltd. is preparing to airlift 28 live bottlenose dolphins to an aquatic park in the United Arab Emirates city of Dubai.

Speaking of repugnant things, I have never had much time for people who justify the slaughter of families in the name of any belief, be it religion (grotesque fantasy for insecure grownups) communism, fascism, socialism or any of the other isms. A regular contributor here manages to revive long dead hatreds, look for idiots in the comments section (although you may need to check under the bed for reds before you go).

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Its Election Time !!

It's Election time in Australia and for the first time in a long time I will be making sure I take the opportunity to vote.

Essentially the choices are a Prime Minister (John Howard) and the liberals who have delivered over a decade of high employment and record growth or the challenger Kevin (I stand for nothing they don't tell me to stand for) Rudd.

Of course, the oz's harping left and its professional tax payer funded trough slurpers are positively beside themselves with pre-orgasmic glee that the Labour (Shiney Kev's Pack)Party might actually win. The polls certainly seem to indicate a mass stupid has descended upon the Australian Voting Public but then again...and I quote

"By November 24 its (liberal/howard's) record in delivering the good times and ensuring more to come will prevail over Kevin Rudd's high-falutin bombast, nerdy vacuities, and his conga-line of party hacks and trade union reactionaries. What voter in the mortgage belt, or what battler who owes his job to Work Choices, is going to risk his future on Rudd and his broadband? Hands up who wants to take running the economy from Peter Costello and hand it to Wayne Swan! Or take foreign policy from Alexander Downer and give it to Simon Crean!"

Seems to sum it pretty well...

Monday, October 15, 2007

Stupid knows no boundries

In the name of balance..laugh

The Price of Stupidity

What a world? (country NSW)... On Thursday, 24 January 2002, Derek Guille broadcast this story on his afternoon program on ABC radio.

In March, 1999, a man living in Kandos (near Mudgee in NSW) received a bill for his as yet unused gas line stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away. In April he received another bill and threw that one away too.

The following month the gas company sent him a very nasty note stating they were going to cancel his gas line if he didn't send them $0.00 by return mail. He called them, talked to them, and they said it was a computer error and they would take care of it.

The following month he decided that it was about time that he tried out the troublesome gas line figuring that if there as usage on the account it would put an end to this ridiculous predicament. However, when he went to use the gas, it had been cut off. He called the gas company who appologised for the computer error once again and said that they would take care of it. The next day he got a bill for $0.00 stating that payment was now overdue.

Assuming that having spoken to them the previous day the latest bill was yet another mistake, so he ignored it, trusting that the company would be as good as their word and sort the problem out.

The next month he got a bill for $0.00. This bill also stated that he had 10 days to pay his account or the company would have to take steps to recover the debt.

Finally, giving in, he thought he would beat the company at their own game and mailed them a cheque for $0.00. The computer duly processed his account and returned a statement to the effect that he now owed the gas company nothing at all.

A week later, the manager of the Mudgee branch of the Westpac Banking Corporation called our hapless friend and asked him what he was doing writing cheque for $0.00. After a lengthy explanation the bank manager replied that the $0.00 cheque had caused their cheque processing software to fail. The bank could therefore not process ANY cheques they had received from ANY of their customers that day because the cheque for $0.00 had caused the computer to crash.

The following month the man received a letter from the gas company claiming that his cheque has bounced and that he now owed them $0.00 and unless he sent a cheque by return mail they would take immediate steps to recover the debt. At this point, the man decided to file a debt harassment claim against the gas company. It took him nearly 2 hours to convince the clerks at the local courthouse that he was not joking. They subsequently assisted him in the drafting of statements which were considered substantive evidence of the aggravation and difficulties he had been forced to endure during this debacle. The matter was heard in the Magistrate's Court in Mudgee and the outcome was this:

The gas company was ordered to:

[1] Immediately rectify their computerised accounts system or show cause, within 10 days, why the matter should not be referred to a higher court for consideration under company Law.

[2] Pay the bank dishonour fees incurred by the man.

[3] Pay the bank dishonour fees incurred by all the Westpac clients whose cheques had been bounced on the day our friend's had been.

[4] Pay the claimant's court costs; and

[5] Pay the claimant a total of $1500 per month for the 5 month period March to July inclusive as compensation for the aggravation they had caused their client to suffer. And all this over $0.00.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

An Inconvenient Lie

The environment is a emotive issue and a there is a whole swag of nutters propping up the edges. Still it was mildly confusing to see the inconvenient self promoter Al Gore awarded the Nobel Peace Prize earlier this month.

The Peace Prize??? Were the carrots denying land rights to the tomatoes on the basis of colour or perhaps they were worshiping the wrong fertilizer brand (All hail the life giver). The cobras of Indonesia were planning to launch a ssssssssssssssneak attack on the Malaysian Cobras for sssssssssssstealing a sssssong that nobody gives a stuff about and then in rode Al Gore and brokered a peace deal. Or just maybe its because if he was nominated for the Nobel Science Prize, his little home movie would actually have to go before a panel of scientists and be assessed on facts.

The truth of the matter is the Noble Peace Prize has long been a bit of a politically correct joke. Lets grab a couple of past winners for a laugh (or perhaps a sob), Kofi Annan (for shady family oil deals and the ability do absolutely nothing no matter how many lives it costs), Yassar Arafat, Shimon Peres (for middle east peace?? and more shady money deals) OH well you get the picture.

Back to fat Al's little movie of big fibs. A British High Court Judge, Justice Michael Burton has ruled that the movie can no longer be shown in schools unless accompanied by a fact sheet detailing the outright lies and untruths big Al so skillfully presents as uncontested truths.

This of course is a ruling of much needed good sense. Lets not forget Paramount and Jackgreen International, which makes money from the global warming scare offered free DVDs of An Inconvenient Truth to every school in England not to mention other places. A nice piece of propaganda, still brainwashing kids is the hallmark of lying fanatics.

Lets have a look at what Justice Burton ruled to be big fat fibbs:

Gore presents Mt Kilimanjaro's melting snows as proof of global warming. In fact, the snows are vanishing thanks to local factors, including deforestation.

Gore suggests Antarctica's ice cover is melting. Most studies says it is increasing or stable.

Gore shows scary graphics of cities drowning in seas that rise 7m, causing millions of refugees. But the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change says the seas will rise at worst by 59cm this century.

Gore uses images of Hurricane Katrina and suggests it was caused by global warming. The Government's expert in this case admitted such one-off events can't be blamed on warming.

Gore suggests ice-core evidence shows rising CO2 caused temperature rises, which ended the past seven ice ages. In fact, the CO2 rises followed temperature rises by 800 to 2000 years.

Gore claims global warming could stop the Gulf Stream, causing an ice age in Europe. Recent studies deny it.

Gore blames global warming for species losses and coral reef bleaching. The Government couldn't show evidence to back this claim.

Gore claims a study showed polar bears had drowned because of vanishing ice. The study actually said just four polar bears drowned, and only because of a bad storm.

Gore suggests Greenland's ice could melt, causing a dangerous rise in sea levels. In fact, Greenland's ice won't melt for thousands of years.

Gore shows the drying up of Lake Chad and claims this was caused by global warming. The Government's expert agreed this was not the case.

Gore claims rising seas have forced people to flee Pacific islands to New Zealand. There is no record of any such warming-caused evacuation.

Geez...Doesn't leave much of the movie huh?

I also loved this bit by another commentator

"The British Government has now rewritten its guidance to teachers to take in those 11 objections, while trying very hard not to make Gore's film seem fraudulent.

To correct that last false claim, for instance, of global warming causing islanders to evacuate their homes, the guide now includes this weasel disclaimer: "It is not clear that there is any evidence of evacuations in the Pacific due to human-induced climate." What: not clear?"

But that's not the only sign that the educationists who push Gore's film on to students are as devoted to his apocalyptic faith as are our own class of teacher-preachers.

Note this line from the guide, urging children to question even their parents' lack of faith: "Pupils may ask, what were my parents and grandparents doing during this time? Did they know that this was happening?"

I am actually very much in favour of the environment, the trouble with people like Gore is they divert valuable resources and funds into self serving pie in the sky billion dollar twaddle for an Armageddon that is at best dubious. Closer to home, I could say the same thing about the NEWMONT case here in Indonesia a patently obvious bunch of wank driven by money, politics and a seriously compromised environmental group(and religious nutters)now better known as the Wanky Wallies!

Last environmental point today, if you are taking part in major religious festival and giving all praise to GOD/Allah/Buddha whomever, does it seem a bit rude to leave the area covered with plastic water cups, paper, fire crackers. Seems to me that the big guy/girl is gunna be a bit pissed that he invited everyone for a party and they all crapped in his back yard.

AN UPDATE: On my last post "IA" quite correctly pointed out that it is also very difficult for the average Indonesian to escape paying income tax as well as their wages are garnished before they see them. Which raises the point WHY ARE THERE ONLY 1.3 INCOME TAX PAYERS in Indonesia, who are the parasites then, the tax office? the employers? the phantom? Mmmmm...the plot thickens and I would still love to know what the "dear leader" of the new order and the fabulous baker boys paid in tax last year.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007


There were only 1.3 million income tax returns filed last year in Indonesia! Can that be right? Out of 220 Million people? I thought unemployment according to the government was only 10% (suree...). There would be more than 1.3 million public servants alone in Indonesia.

Check out this from the Jakarta Post of 9 Oct 07:

"Darmin now manages at least 10 million registered individual income-tax payers, of which almost seven million were netted under a massive campaign in 2005.

However, Darmin put the number of registered income-tax payers last week at a mere four million. Even more disappointing is only 33 percent or 1.32 million of them filed their annual tax returns -- the other 2.68 million were classified as non-filers."

Besides the obvious fuzzy maths, how the hell does this work?

On the plus side, the non filing of tax returns should make it easy to collect those missing funds from the old regime (and sections of the current?) and their families. Just check the tax returns, if its not declared they have admitted its not their money/assets, so the poor people can have a win for once, no lengthy court battles just take it.

For an expat is is extremely difficult to avoid paying tax and most accept Tax is necessary (unpleasant but necessary) part of maintaining any sort of just society. The concept that the country owes someone a living is as dead as Port Power's Pride after the grand final.

Why do I mention expats? Well in view of only 1.3 Million people contributing to the coffers of the country, maybe the next time that inane xenophobic "us vs them" "you are only a guest" bullsh*t arises. Perhaps the response should be "as least I am a paying Guest and you are a ....... on the country"

Facts are if you can afford a computer then you should be filing a tax return, if not chances needs no further explanation without getting nasty.

Here's a thought, how about anyone who buys a new car must produce a tax file number..that'll get em!


P.S. Wouldn't it be cool of every elected official had his tax return published by the Tax Department and just how much tax did the Fabulous Baker (ie) Boys pay last year?

Sunday, September 30, 2007




Back the bottom of the Harbour for these blokes!!

Meanwhile..some roundball induced numbdom has been played between ...who cares! (see the "girls are us blog" for netball and soccer scores)

Friday, September 28, 2007

More Knuckleheads

Yet another bunch of do-gooders, who have lost their way..

I hope they don't succeed, I did hear a plan the execution was to take place in Bali. I am sure they could find plenty of offers of help to pull the trigger (Hey SB, call me, it might take a few shots tho..with a bit of luck)

AMNESTY International is calling on Australians and others to write to Indonesian authorities urging them to halt plans to execute three Bali bombers.

The three Islamic militants - Imam Samudra, Ali Ghufron (alias Mukhlas) and the so-called smiling assassin Amrozi bin Nurhasyim - could face the firing squad soon after Indonesia's Supreme Court rejected their final appeals.

The three played key roles in the 2002 terrorist attacks on the resort island of Bali, which killed 202 people including 88 Australians.

Amnesty International Australia anti-death penalty coordinator Tim Goodwin said the human rights group was stepping up efforts to lobby Indonesian authorities to put a stay on the executions.

“Amnesty is completely and universally opposed to the death penalty in any case,” Mr Goodwin said"

Mr Goodwin, here's a letter from one Australian..PISS OFF


Chuckle.. I do love a Free Press unlike the sad version that exists here in Indonesia, where are plundering despots awarded millions in joke court decisions.

Talking of jokes, the local blog swamp has developed into a bare knuckle, knock down blue as the self appointed guardians of the Indonesian Blog Swamp decide what and who should blog and what should or should not be said..There is no idiot like a self important idiot

We have Jakartass declaring himself a balanced act.. tee hee.. Left Wing, Green and alternative views need not apply but you know what you are going to get and well written.

Tree..Who seems to think Blogs should be a sort of Adrian Mole's Diary only, with a yearly "spit" at expats/west/bush and/or howard. Never the less worth a read if only to confuse yourself. Needs to get over his yearly spit, or have a bex and a lie down.

UNSPUN and Maverick or unspun maverick (whatever) seem to have decided that expat blogs are insignificant (true but who cares)but again interesting reading most of the time.

Jakchat..Who exist to annoy to Tree and talk about tacky sexual habits of unattractive men. (Actually its like visiting a down market pub outside the market gardens, takcy but everyone should visit at least once to see what happens if you drink too much all your life)

Ok (not sure if these guys are involved in the fight yet but what the hell)

Indo Matters...An Essentially Anti Muslim, pro christian site dressed up as a newsy type service (Although the Nuttier Muslims only have themselves to blame with their bizarre behaviour making negative reporting like shooting fish in barrel). Seriously why doesn't the main stream press make fun of these throw backs (Nutty Muslims aka FPI not Indo Matters). Do visit and do keep an eye out for a bloke named Ross, the last of the "reds under the bed" neo cons (NEOCONS ..what cool bullshit word)

Indo Coup..Demands high standards of others but he himself is a self admitted toiler in the grey Zone. Great chick pics tho.

I think the blue all started because someone was not invited to a Party (I am having an Australian Rules Grand Final Party as well tomorrow and none of you soccer sockheads are invited to that either as a matter of principle).

It didn't take long to get nasty..Expats are only here for the money and they critise too much and should go home or be reported to the immigration office for being nasty. Jakchat's website is repulsive and talks cheap sex or whatever and they should be nice coz they are guests..Indonesians are too thinned skinned and/or trying to make a cheap buck, excluding the expats ..blah blah..

Gee rocket science..Expats are here for the money..gee no kidding..who's faults that? Indonesia is where on the world curruption index? A report that 40% of students cannot pass the most basic exam..leads to more money in regional schools..nope we weight the scoring factor so everyone passes..

Indonesians are thinned bet but if you have not noticed that any act that causing a loss of face will result in anger and hurt then you really have not noticed much at all. Quick betcha its a national and presidential approved pass time. No use getting pissed at the expats, as someone said in the big picture they are insignificant, they are not the cause or the solution to the problems in Indonesia.

Finally, who cares if JAKCHAT or other expat blogs are tacky and tawdry, you want nasty and evil try the peanut from Solo (Gee why is that no surprise). If you think expats down the Blok is evil. Go for a visit at the Indonesian sponsored Surabaya Dolly street,,(bugger me they keep the poor buggers in Aquariums)

Anyway, if I haven't slashed any one side enough let me know and I will balance it out..if you have been unfairly maligned ..stiff

Ok thats enough fun..not too serious guys..relax ..but whatever you do, don't promote that fat useless WW as a champion free speech..shiiittt.


P.S. Most of the links you need are on the side of the page..this ain't serious enough for me to link in the post.

If this doesn't get youse blokes arced up then

tomorrow I think I will post on:

Indonesia - the last of the Colonial Powers

Javanese economic refugees to the provinces (are they expats?)

TNI or the Dutch (A history of deaths in comparision)

Bugger it..maybe something serious..

GOD must have left the planet how else to explain that the Mighty Kangaroos are not in the grand final tomorrow....

Tuesday, September 25, 2007


What is going on with the Green NGO's in Indonesia? Unspun is still awaiting a response from a discredited NGO after a rather aptly titled post "WALHI slutting around with Islamic groups?".

As UNSPUN states it's all to do with credibility and it would appear that Greenomics has fallen into the same sad peat pit.

The latest in "green" environmental groups happily discrediting themselves is the NGO Greenomics. Greenomics Executive Director, Elfian Effendi was reported yesterday (Jakarta Post, extract of article at end of this post) as demanding an apology from the Aceh BBR chief Kuntoro for criticising the implementation of Sharia Law in the province.

Now thought I, that's unusual! Greenomics is an environmental group, who solicited donations and support on that basis. So I looked a bit further into the information I had at hand, but couldn't find any extra bits that said "and ardent supporters of Sharia Law". Mmmm A misrepresentation of the truth..or even..........?

Now a quick look at the Greenomics website was in order, lo and behold there is a "mission statement" of sorts and quite a noble one at that:

"Greenomics Indonesia is a policy development institute that is devoted to introducing innovative empirical and field-based economic, financial and policy approaches for the purpose of supporting a move towards good natural resources governance"

Checking ..checking...nope nothing about Sharia Law yet..oh well maybe I have just missed it in the fine print?

Now I don't think that a random supporter of Greenomics and "good natural resources governance" would automatically assume she/he has just become supporter of Sharia Law. It is more than presumptuous for good ol Elfian to speak out like that from his position as the Greenomics executive director. Of course, as a director of anything, your personal views are your own. However, in the spirit of transparency and responsibility so often demanded by various NGO's perhaps a little professionalism would go a long way.

This hi-jacking of an environmental platform into a religious one is a real shame and seemingly increasingly common. "Greenomics" appear to be doing some good and much needed work but you can bet (actually you can't "bet" if you are reading this in a Sharia Law province or you will get a whipping!) this will cost them. It also raises the question of funding. It would be interesting to see how they are funded as (I can't seem to find much on their website).

So until Greenomics clarifies their position its only fair to ask:

Are Greenomics supporters of this?

or this???...

By the way, BBR Chief was right (for once) of course foreign investors and visitors are wary of Sharia Law, by its very nature, it is ill-defined, randomly applied and brutal.


BRR sharia comment slammed
National News - September 24, 2007

Ridwan Max Sijabat, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta

An Aceh-linked organization that advocates for environmental issues demanded that the Aceh-Nias Rehabilitation and Reconstruction Agency (BRR) apologize for implicitly blaming the slow reconstruction work on sharia in Aceh province.

Greenomics Indonesia was responding to the statement of BRR chief Kuntoro Mangkusubroto, who on a visit to The Jakarta Post on Thursday said that the implementation of sharia had "hindered" the development programs in the province, which enjoys special autonomy.

"Kuntoro's statement on sharia is intolerable and has offended Acehnese people's religious beliefs. He must withdraw it and make an apology to the Acehnese," Greenomics executive director Elfian Effendi told the Post over the weekend.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

As Time Goes Bye

Just stopping by for a breather, but not really into posting yet just thought I would pop in and see if I missed much in the world's most dysfunctional democracy (?!).

I see its been a fairly interesting TIME here, while I have been away. We all knew things were not going so well, but Indonesia really has come the full circle since the heady hopes brought about by the student led Indonesian 1998 Revolution. A revolution of hope, which pushed the autocratic President Suharto of Indonesia kicking and screaming from power (but not for long, it seems).

After some fits, starts and farts, aspirations were high when the current president took power with the vast support of the the people. Finally, here was a man who had the moral mandate and the peoples support to clean out the corrupt, the evil and the insane who seem to make up the vast majority of the political and the elite of Indonesia. Unfortunately, like so many things in Indonesia it was only surface gloss and the opportunity has slipped away along with the chances of better life for the average Indonesian.

As Time magazine (only read the previous link, if you have an extermely developed sense of the absurb) and the people of Jakarta have found out, the more things change, the more they stay the same. Still was good to see such revered (?) institutions as the Supreme Court willing to take a stand in the face overwhelming good sense, shame they are not so proactive in demanding justice for ..say the Mud Lovers in Surabuya . You really should get a copy of this piece of classic television soapie. The series is in Bahasa Indonesia but that should not stop you, bizzare transends language. A bigger shame is in the early days of Independence the Supreme Court really was a defender of Justice..where did all the good people go?

For a quick read on just how far the hopes of of 1998 have fallen try here.

Meanwhile close to our quaint little village, well away from the mainstream eight people died in recent floods. Our local religious nutters (RN's)...we grow our own here, its more organic and nothing warms the cockles of your heart more than seeing little kids clad head to toe in black, sorry I digrese. Our RN's declared the flood was God's Wrath as people were not observing Ramadam with due piety. Of course it had nothing to with the fact that a bunch of new developments have blocked off natural water runoffs or the majority of the streams are treated as waste disposal pits.

Speaking of things religious, I have never really got the hang of religion since our nice (but crazy) old Grandma,grabbed my little sister by the ear and held her in front of a picture of Jesus and yelled at her the tears in Jesus's eye's were becuase she was naughty (now even at that tender age, I could tell the tears probably had a lot more to do with the nails than us dropping a bottle of lemonade).

I can't help but think, if there was a GOD, he/she would be much more impressed if we cleansed things like THIS before we decided to cleanse ourselves during this holy month of Ramadam. But as I said I just don't get it...or maybe I will come judgement day.

Have a good one..

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Nuclear NGO's

NGO's serve a real need but unfortunately a large number of NGO's seem to think the principles of accountability and transparency they demand from others does not apply to them. An abject failure to realise that one bad act can ruin years of good work has compromised a number of NGO's to the stage where they a little more than fronts for political and corperate thugs.

Unspun has a number of posts and articles (search for WALHI) on this and other issues. Perhaps aptly should be titled "Where's WALHI as they seem to have little to say about their own internal practices.

The relative ease of which allegations are made, careers ruined and the selective nature of environmental and other protests are made should be a concern for any reasonable person (Newmont vs Lapindo anyone).

More importantly (I am not singling out any particular sleazy mob here) it is common practice to engage "rent a mob" under an environmental, nationalist or whatever umbrella to force more favourable company take-overs. Of course, once the share price has been driven down, the environmental or other issues just fade away.

There is an interesting article here about the control regulation of various NGO's (both environmental and religious). Something has to be done in Indonesia to restrict the damage they do with their secret and unaccountable agendas.

Some excerpts of the article below for your enjoyment..

"The Trade Practices Act has long recognised that there is a clear line between a business or a union criticising a corporation and organising with others to harm that corporation or prevent it from competing. It’s similar to religious vilification laws. I can say I think Christianity is wrong, even evil. But I can’t organise with others to hurt Christians. So in future, NGOs can speak out all they want but if they cross the line by using business blackmail, they like other extortionists, will be zapped by the new laws. (WALHI would find this kind of law worth a lot of study)

For some time, the Australian Taxation Office has been pursuing a related path. It has been cracking down on politicians dressed up as charities. An ATO probe has been cross-checking Australian Electoral Commission records on political donations against the names of tax-deductible bodies. The rule is simple. If a charity spends most of its time politicking, then it’s not a charity. (Gee wouldn't that sit MUI on their arse in Indonesia)

Some NGOs have long operated in a nether world of tax scamming and lack of accountability. Whilst always the first to proclaim their virtues and the vices of others, applying the blow torch (even on very low heat) to them produces screams of indignation."

All of the above...TOO BLOODY TRUE!

Of course, these is any number of real environmental issues in Indonesia that need pursuing, for instance:

INDONESIA – Agreement on nuclear plans dated 28 Aug 07

Korea Electric Power Corp (KEPCO) and Korea Hydro & Nuclear Power Co (KHNP) have signed a memorandum of understanding with Indonesia's PT Medco Energi Internasional (Why does this name ring a bell..clear as mud?) to start implementing the country's nuclear plans.

This will involve construction of two standard 1000 MWe OPR-1000 units from KHNP at a cost of US$3 billion.

The agreement was part of a wider energy collaboration. Earlier plans were to call for tenders for these Muria units in 2008.

- News sourced from Australian Uranium Association Weekly News Digest"

Three Billion USD!!!!!!!!!.. What kind of drugs are these idiots on and where's WALHI??

Three Billion from a nation where you cannot throw a stick in the ground without hitting oil/gas or coal!!..

Here's a bizarre idea for discussion:

Instead of syphoning off billions in royalties and taxes to build yet another obscene palace in Jakarta or Singapore. How about a contract with a provision for the building and running of a non-nuclear power station? Ok, just kidding..We know why, its easier to steal cash, power stations are hard to fit into a brown paper bag.

That said, its a disgrace that a nation who exports millions of tonnes of coal and and gas every single year cannot provide a semblance of reliable domestic power to its own people.

They say these nuke poisoning plants will be up and running by 2014, so the stump still has a couple of years before its time to move upwind of Indonesia. Fortunately the nuke stations will have little impact on the native jungles in 2014 as it is unlikely there will any left by then, just "glow in the dark" people

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Justice Indonesian Style

TEN Islamic militants jailed over the 2002 and 2005 Bali bombings in which hundreds died or were maimed have been handed sentence cuts.

The reductions, of between two and five months, were made today to mark Indonesia's Independence Day, when prisoners are traditionally granted dispensations for good behaviour.

I would like to say surprised...but no..

Friday, August 10, 2007

As time goes by

Busy with studies at the moment, lots of work and bugger all time, so much to relief of some not much to say. Speaking of time:

Some time sensitive Bahasa Indonesian Words:

Nanti = Later On

Sebentar = Later On but before “Nanti”

Belum = Not Yet and before Sebentar

Besok = Tomorrow or mean tomorrow’s tomorrow or tomorrow's tomorrow's tomorrow..

Any more???

If you really want to get confused try Sabtu Malam or Malam Sabtu....Sabtu means Saturday, Malam means night but the same time??..Sorry you miss out by a day.

Ok off to make myself smarter?..Enjoy the picture of sunny Sumatera..

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Dafur and Idiots

For the majority of Expats, tourists (are there really any outside of Bali anymore?) and other English speakers the daily paper of "no choice" is the aptly named Jakarta Post.

More than a tad Jakarta/Javacentric, the post seems to consist of mostly "op-ed pieces" from very dubious sources and a whole swag of cut n paste. One notable Post achievement is that it does seem to evade that old truism (?) Today's News, Tomorrow's Fish and Chip Wrapper...Mainly for three reasons:

1. The post carries no News:

2. There are no Fish and Chip Shops in Indonesia;

3. Even if there were Fish and Chip Shops, the ink used by the post has a bad habit of running whilst you are reading the paper, let alone with battered fish adding to the mystery.

Speaking of the more moronic op-ed pieces, a few days ago the JP had some moron praising the benefits of safe (???????) nuclear power in Indonesia (Don't these knuckle heads even notice what is happening outside of Java?). Then, in a masterpiece of sanctimonious claptrap, some forgettable idiot dropped an op-ed on the deployment of 100 (woo---hoo a hundred…wow!!!, the international community stands stunned at the gesture) Indonesian Police into Dafur.

Titled “Stop Crying For Dafur” and reproduced at the end of this post, the writer uses the great deployment of Indonesia police to slash all the major western countries and the UN in a sludge of straw-man rubbish. Of course, the writer carefully ignored such obvious issues such as

The Indonesian Government is being paid for those Police by the UN, which in turn is funded by the very nations he slashes …Mmmm What was Indonesia’s financial contribution to the UN last year??? Takes the gloss off when you are being paid for it huh?

100 police is a bit like the monkey pissing into the sea at the same time declaring for all the world to hear “every little bit helps” and wondering why people are laughing at him.

The writer then launches into his anti-west tirade, starting with

“Not least our neighbor down under, which is eager to dispatch its military might to war in Iraq and Afghanistan but hesitant to spare military personnel for a humanitarian mission in Sudan”

This idiot does not really what to get into who provides what in world aid or even regional aid does he?

“There must be no question as to the goals, rules of engagement and contingencies available before anyone is deployed.
More importantly it is imperative that preset time lines are in place, along with an exit strategy. “

Ah its that easy!!!…As long as the combatants in Dafur understand and agree to the rules. Didn’t someone once say “No plan survives contact with the enemy”

His understanding of the conflict and the rules is infantile best, but hey if he can do I so can I. How about the conflict is based on the old “Animal Farm” theory that "All Muslims are equal but some Muslims are more equal than others". As a general rule of thumb..Arab..Asian..Africian (with plenty of room for regional xenophobia and racism)

Or this .. “Perhaps the situation would change if oil and gas was found in Darfur.” It is moron, that is what it is all about.

Tiresome twit..Anyway for reading pleasure and laughter here is the article as published in our beleaguered Jakarta Post.

Stop crying for Darfur
Stop anyone on the street and ask them about Darfur. With a shrug of the shoulders most would claim complete ignorance. One or two might identify it as a French hypermarket chain.
If the majority of Indonesians know nothing about Darfur why then is Indonesia sending more than 100 of its police officers to the Sudanese region whose inhabitants are seemingly intent on killing each other?
The answer is simple: Because it is our moral duty.
The world has shed too many tears for a place that has bled too much, but has yet to take any action to stop the killing.
Some 200,000 corpses, three million refugees and four years too late the world community, under the aegis of the United Nations, has agreed to send a stronger peacekeeping force, with a supposedly comprehensive peace plan, into Darfur.
Despite the best efforts of the African Union, its peacekeeping mission to Darfur has been a failure, overwhelmed by the scope of the crisis.
We fully back the government's decision to dispatch a civilian police force to take part in the UN mission.
While world leaders such as British Prime Minister Gordon Brown have called Darfur "the greatest humanitarian disaster the world faces today", we regret -- but are not surprised -- that major powers have been reluctant to contribute to the UN mission.
Not least our neighbor down under, which is eager to dispatch its military might to war in Iraq and Afghanistan but hesitant to spare military personnel for a humanitarian mission in Sudan.
Perhaps the situation would change if oil and gas was found in Darfur.
Though the world applauds the UN initiative few have committed to it. Only France, Denmark and Indonesia have so far committed peacekeepers, while other countries are still considering deployments.
However, more countries need to step up and soon if the UN mission is to hit the ground before the end of the year.
For Indonesia it is imperative for the UN to define and clearly specify the mission objectives for our officers.
There must be no question as to the goals, rules of engagement and contingencies available before anyone is deployed.
More importantly it is imperative that preset time lines are in place, along with an exit strategy.
The debacle of American forces in Somalia and other prolonged UN missions cannot be repeated.
The UN has had a presence in the country since 2005 with the United Nations Mission in the Sudan. We must be careful that this latest mission does not become another "permanent" UN peace mission.
The necessity of setting mission objectives and an exit strategy is particularly important in a region like Africa, which is known for protracted and expansive conflicts.
Darfur has a long history of resource-based tribal conflicts involving as many as four ethnic groups. This was exacerbated when two political groups entered the fray -- the Sudan Liberation Movement/Army and the Justice and Equality Movement -- sparking a full-scale rebellion against the failing government in Khartoum.
Indonesia should be ready to commit itself to peacekeeping and peacemaking, but remain cautious so its soldiers and police officers do not find themselves trapped in intractable circumstances.
As for the countries who could help but do not wish to, please stop crying your false tears for Darfur.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Sumatra Holiday

Had a wonderful time in Sumatra, trying a lot of the traditional “Pandang” style food where they bring everything out at once and you just pick what you want from the plates. Watch out for the little hidden green chillies tho! They bite!

Spent a bit of time Medan, Padang and Bukit Tinggi (High Hill or Tall Hill), passed on the Banda Aceh S&M festivals but generally tried to see as much as possible in 10 days. Temperature range was hot and muggy (Padang) to jumper and coat weather (BT) so made a nice change from the normal (for us at the stump anyway). The other surprising thing was the condition of the roads, which ranged from good to excellent. Drivers however remained as nutty as ever but with more fatal results. On two occasions we arrived just after two “bemo” buses had plunged down a ravine spreading bodies everywhere. The actual yearly road toll must be truly horrific.

A little way out of Padang we came across this rock which (I have no idea if this true and/or the translation is right as my Bahasa Padang is not so flash). Apparently the man fought with his love and she flung herself into the sea and drowned. Upon realising what he had lost, he fell to the ground, weeping and was turned to stone. To this day the “rock cries” even when the tide is out.

Sumatra: One of the Greater Sunda Islands and the second largest island after Borneo (Kalimantan) in Indonesia. It is separated in the northeast from the Malay Peninsula by the Strait of Malacca and in the south from Java by the Sunda Strait.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Mangy Lions and Customer Service

Just back from holidays, having spent a nice couple of weeks travelling through Sumatera. Pretty countryside although a bit over the top religion wise (why is it that so many people are concerned where I will be spending the afterlife? Perhaps they want me to save them a seat?)

It was great to be able to sample fresh vegetables and fruit, high in the mountains sucking fresh air as well. More on that later.

On the downside, we flew “Lying Air” who managed to achieve the enviable record on being late on all six flights (and we are not talking minutes here) and managed to stuff up a ticket rebooking.

It is never a good plan (or polite) to abuse the poor staff behind the counter. Keeping our collective cools, we requested to speak to the manager but despite two appointments (which involved separate trips across town) to see the local Lying Manager (in the time honoured tradition of useless and cowardly twits) he managed to ensure he was not in the office nor could he return phone calls (Although he could return calls to his staff?!).

Not to worry, next holiday, we will search out some place where the concept of customer service has considered as a concept and most importantly we don’t need the mange ridden cats planes to get there. Maybe this one........

P.S. Why is it planes at Jakarta Airport seem unable to access the terminal bridges leaving passengers to wander all over the tarmac?