Friday, March 28, 2008

FREE SPEECH and.... political agitation

Hey Back already..naagh..thought this was worth stalling the polishing of the armour for...

Government Web Site Attacked..(made more user friendly)

The Jakarta Post reported today that Telecommunication and cyber expert (Self Appointed ??)Roy Suryo, who played a key role in drafting the cyber law, said the attack on the ministry's website was revenge from a porn-lover site.

"I predicted such a move from people opposing the law and the government's move to block the websites with adult content.

"That's why we need public participation to make the action a success," he told The Jakarta Post.

Roy warned the attack was only the first in a series of similar actions against other ministry websites or even more important ones, such as the official sites of the president and the vice president.

He said not only porn-lover sites but also many other people would try to hack the government's websites because those planning to use their blogs or websites to spread political agitation or misleading data could be affected by the law.

"That's why I urge police to investigate the case thoroughly to find the hackers. The police can apply the law ... so they can deal a heavy punishment," he said.

TICK....... TICK......... TICK...Gee who would have suspected it had nothing to do with On Line Porn anyway. Even the most brain dead, intellectually moribund, techno leper would know it would be impossible to ban online porn (whatever happened to parental responsibility)as the vast majority is hosted offshore anyway.

We are still left with the basic questions:

1. What is Porn?

2. What is political agitation? (I would have thought that was part of democratic process, more so than giving away free t-shirts..huh)

3. What is misleading Data?

I wonder who decides the answers to these questions? Roy the Cyber Expert? The local crooked pollie (is there another kind?) who is exposed on the Internet? The very strange man who currently censors the movies on Indonesian TV (Now there's a fella with some serious mental health issues)...mmm the mind boggles!

Anonymous blogging anyone? Still we must thank Roy the Cyber Expert (sounds like a chat room perv doesn't it, I should think up a new name for him that's not the this case)..

Sorry not links today, having trouble with the internet, must be all the people downloading pictures to assist with Prostate Health.


Battle True Battle Strong

Oh Oh As figured those legions of damned, those vile shadow walkers have not been routed on the first defeat.

I have been summoned to the dark, dank, humourless lair of accountants for the final showdown between the forces of light and darkness.

So there will be no posts for some time as we prepare for battle with the words of the BARD in ringing in our ears..

That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
We would not die in that man's company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
This day is call'd the feast of Crispian.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.'
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.'
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words-
Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

Thursday, March 27, 2008


We are all guilty of it, sometimes we just don't think things through enough. What seems to the author as obvious often gets distorted or mixed when looked at from another perspective..

Then there are times ..WHEN WE JUST DON'T THINK...(But its still funny)

I see your last supper and raise you a light switch...

Let's see there is the Patron Saint of Travellers, There is the Patron Saint of Hopeless Causes, A Patron Saint of Fishermen..and this would be the Patron Saint of.............Light Bulbs (What did you think I was gunna say...sheesh)


Hey… The Stump is kinda chuffed (chuffed = impressed, proud, happy, mixture of all etc etc).

There has been a significant increase in Indonesian Ladies (actually better make that ladies from around the region) popping by to leave a comment or email over the past week or so. Even better not all have called for the Stump to be gelded (Which besides painful, tends to make you want to curl up on top the TV and go to sleep, if Tom Cats are any measure).

Always nice to have a women around to pull us blokes back into line..

Thanks and do leave a comment..

P.S. I will do a link to you all soon under CHUFFED LINKS perhaps.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008


Where was the Stump when this news broke…

According to the New Scientist, 20 Dec 2003 “Masturbation may protect against prostate cancer”

Meanwhile a team from the Cancer Council of Victoria came to the conclusion that the more men ejaculated (with or without partner) between the ages of 20 and 50 the less likely they were to develop prostate cancer..

Aaaggh that’s a relief! Although if I combine this news with what ol Nana used to say, I am going to have the healthiest prostate in the South East Asia but blind as a bat.

Oh well…gotta go… health matters you see..

American Hopes

Amongst all the noise and tomfoolery, I am always amazed at the little pearls of wisdom that pop up on the web (and sometime the absolute stupidity). Sometimes intentional but more often than not these little gems are created in the same way as the pearl as a response to an irritant.

Treespotter is a place the Stump occasionally frequents not that we have anything in common but as I find the place “curious”. However, this little pearl rang true.

“I don’t think America ever truly realized how much the world has come to hope from them.”

Which sums up so much of the Stump Opinion. There is nothing more pathetic listening to the blinkered morons complaining about how evil America is, whilst standing knee deep in human misery of their own making.

Is there anything more pathetic than watching half the nations of the world complain about conditions in Guantanamo Bay detention camp and the legal (or not so) processes that detain people there. A significant number of the finger pointers have far far worse records themselves. To drive a point home, how would Indonesia stand up with a non biased review of its legal processes and the conditions of detainees? Middle East? Australia?

To the Stump, it’s not so much that America has GITMO because in reality there are still very few nations that could stand an honest comparison but why?

We, the rest of the world expected so much more...We hear the morons, the dictators, the despots and the murderers all defaming you but they remain the noisy, obnoxious frauds and lairs they are. The rest of us still want to see what can be rather than what has to be.

Yes, it’s unfair and unrealistic, and probably the first time in human history that a super power has carried so many of the hope sof the world with it. Never the less America remains the light on the hill for so many of the people of the world and we are sad when she displays a little of the dark side that sadly so many people the world have to live with every waking minute.

Another Stolen Pearl tomorrow..which links in a Stump kind of way..

Tuesday, March 25, 2008


Humanity Poll...Which of the two pictures do you think represents the basest side of humanity?

Life is made up of many choices.. and the Stump is a firm believer in those choices should remain yours alone unless they infringe on the rights of others to enjoy their lives.

I always have concerns when governments want to regulate a concept, it never works, it is subjective and is always always subject to abuse.

The Indonesian Government has decided to regulate against On-Line Porn. A noble endeavour and we look forward to the complimentary legislation outlawing the common cold, the annual floods in Jakarta and rich businessmen taking advantage of the poor.

Now far be it for the stump to sound bitter and holier than thou (I prefer the term sanctimonious bastard by the way). However, a couple of very minor issues raise their ugly, misshapen, ill conceived heads:

Who decides what is pornographic? Last the stump heard, the sexually depressed and public funded were still debating what was porn.

A second minor sticky issue is short of monitoring every piece of Internet traffic, how on earth do they think they could realistically implement the law?

The Stump found this quote in today’s Jakarta Post rather ominous:

“Police are entitled to confiscate evidence from people suspected of violating the law, including their computers” (Based on…. Bloody hell that looks like a nice computer????)

What does this mean? Is the stump and Ms Cute 2008 for the high jump? Does ol smelly gets to continue his words of hate while we lock up every computer with a bit of spam porn on it.

Speaking of spam, whomever has decided that we need longer personal tackle to please our women, please stop sending the emails. I now have enough Viagra at "once only special prices just for me" to build a land bridge from Indonesia to Australia? (Actually, its not quite enough for that, but if I plan the trip an hour ahead and think sexy thoughts it stretches that far)

Personally, the Stump finds that revolting old maggot ABB (aka Ol Smelly)
and bile that spews forth from him in a evil, bitter torrent far more pornographic than anything someone is likely to stumble across trundling the web.

Seriously... Nothing will happen, just another government spinning wheels caper..

Footnote..To those who think Ol Smelly is just a senile ol coot having no impact on Indonesia (aka those who love to ignore the elephants in the room)Just type "bashir indonesian cleric" into Google Search then do the same with VISIT INDONESIA 2008. Thanks for nothing Smelly!

Saturday, March 22, 2008


As regular readers would know, the Stump got suckered into comment infancy over the past few days. Well, one should learn from ones mistakes and I was lucky enough to stumble across a valuable personal internet assesment "HOW MANY FIVE YEAR OLDS COULD YOU TAKE ON IN A FIGHT" (Laugh..who the hell thinks this crap up?). My results are below, which means I have room for 22 more.


If you want to see how you would go..try

Friday, March 21, 2008



Apparently the Stump has angered some "Twisted Sisters" (Don't get the wrong idea, one is male) with a comment I left on Unspun. It has been decided that the Stump is:

holier than thou (amusing considering my position on religion);
angry about everything (I prefer blogs with passion but what ever rocks ya boat);
Has "hidden superiority feeling towards everything and everyone" (Can't have hidden that well then can I?);
reminds me of an Australian guy who was asking for a flat-white in a nice restaurant, and just because the staff did not understand, as the term flat-white is not common, he got instantly angry (Perhaps getting bloggers mixed up but hey why worry about accuracy when poormans abuse will do);
Oigal has never tried to apply to work in Singapore Airlines (mmm...No..and you have never applied to work at the great lakes city council); and
bitter white men disappointed with life in Indonesia (and who have nowhere else to go)... Yawn....

Not to mention a shedload of other family and personal undesirable values (Both inferred and otherwise)...OOOPS almost forgot anti-Indonesian..(gee what are you guys Indonesian Accountants just waiting a chance to ponce?)

What brought this on...a detailed description of a week long bar crawl in Jakarta, a anti religious post? A sexist description of my dream woman. Nope..It was a fairly innocent post that if you are going selectively imply Western Men disrespect Indonesian women there is an equally if not uglier side of the story closer to home.

Ok, I did made a couple of mistakes, I shall not again

1. I used a family reference as an example of what some women have to put with rather than a general tale.

2. Expected a level of rational discussion

On "1" some people seemed to think they could then use my family as props for their own rationales..My big mistake, their poor taste

On "2" You would reckon I would have learnt by now every discussion has to descend into "What right do you have to say that!"

BTW..Every right to comment, less than some more than most.

One last point..if you going for character assassination at least use some flair..

"you have paid your last respects to the most evil man ever to hold office...a cruel, arrogant deceitful, hypocritical, malevolent, treacherous and lecherous man, one of the worst criminals ever to escape the gallows, a gangster, a thief, a thug, a blackmailer, a ballot rigger, a wife starver,a traitor to his union, a standover man, a giver and taker of bribes, a tyrant and a coward.

Left Wing MP Clyde Robert Cameron to Prime Minister Bob Hawke after Bob attended the funeral of one of Clyde's enemies.

Now trading insults with Clyde would have been interesting (and probably terminal in a literary sense) but makes the rest seem just some much spoilt floss.

Have fun..

P.S. Speaking of profiling...the Stump had to sit for Pysch Profile recently as part of new job application (honest, that was the reason!). So I can give the official recorded version rather than the version so joyfully pointed out by our new posting friends...eer It is not that flattering and funny as all get out (if was about someone else)..You wanna hear?

Thursday, March 20, 2008


Oh Kartini..what happened?

Rob over at therabexperience has taken some offence (As did the Stump) at comments made in some sort of bizarre defence of the immature, sexually insecure behaviour of way too many men in this country. Way to go Rob! Go get em!

As usual for this time of year, it quickly descended into the eternally boring evil Expat routine from the usual suspects plus a new (but hardly refreshing)guest appearance (Grow up kiddies! It’s a big inter-connected world now not one big Kampung). The overt, unhealthy and over bearing Nationalism that is drummed into every child tends to pervade every discussion rational or otherwise but thats another post.

Trouble is the base issue has little to do with “Bules”* but more to do with the insecure, offensive behaviour of a significant number of men to women in Indonesia.
Sexism reigns supreme from blatantly sex job advertisements which dictate age, weight and compulsory picture to behaviour that would earn a slap in the face (or legal action) in most other countries.

To get to the point, the Stump contrary to well meaning (?) albeit incredibly bizarre “advice that women or their spouses/companions should expect such comments or behaviour if that’s how they conduct themselves (sic)” believes there is no excuse or rational for abuse of women in any form.

Unfortunately, it is all too common in Indonesia for women to be subjected to snide remarks, verbal abuse (and worse) by insecure little weasels. The ratio of such attacks increase should that women not meet the somewhat incestuous fantasy of what a women is permitted to do, say, dress or work as or even dare I say it, who she chooses as companion. Of course, I may be way off course here, but I suggest a lot of these perceptions are seriously skewed due to limited social interaction with women during the formative years of youth (If your only real contact with women is your mom, then HELLO MR. BATES..or should that be MASTER BATES).

A number of people suggested that the Stump (and others) should ignore such comments when they are directed people he knows. Sorry I disagree! Although that was the case when I first arrived in country, putting it down to culture and lack of understanding, over the years I have come to realise its got bugger all to with culture its just pure pig ignorance.

It’s the Broken Window theory; far too many people just ignore these morons and they then think such behaviour is acceptable in a civilised society. From the snide remark to someone who does not meet their view who deserves respect, it’s a short walk to gathering in groups in harass someone, to the group that believes it has the right to visit violence on others (an aspect of Indonesia that seems to be growing daily).

The Stump chooses to challenge and humiliate these drongos at the start (with due regard to common sense and safety) and perhaps they will think twice the next time. Personally, the Stump is somewhat despondent at the meek acceptance of uncivilised behaviour by the majority. The traditional "pretend its not happening" or making excuses for such behaviour is creating the kind of country and world that is not fit for our children.

Ok, thats the drum for today..

Remember "Remember

It takes 9 muscles to smile

But only 2 to pick up a metal bar and beat the guy giving us most problems around the head with it.

(Bule = at best an ignorant term, at worst a degrotrary term for anyone with white skin. Fairly literally means Albino. Best Defence on hearing term return greeting with a smile “Yo Chocolate”).

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


Regular readers would know that I am not really keen on the mammalian sub-species called accountants and cats both of which could be called a feral species of no real use to any country. It must be something to with numbers (or something really evil I did in my last life, say watching a full game of soccer) the stump is forever plagued by telephone calls from various dubious, Jakarta based lunatics who claim to be able to manage my money on my behalf and earn me a gazillion dollars return every year.

Invariably, staffed by young, earnest expatriates or smooth talking, worldly nationals or the biggie, the smart trendy young lady but primarily young expatriates, these pseudo accountants dog you day and night unless you are quite rude (the girls are fun tho). Basic checks of their websites (?) and credentials leads you down the path of darkness as you try and discover; where exactly are these people incorporated? What accounting standards do they use? and so forth.

Besides the credential issue, the Stump is confused by one simple premise. If you wackers as so good at picking stock market winners and making a gazillion bucks, why are you working for a living?

A similar money for nothing scam is the “pay for share advice companies” which do huge business in Australia and are starting up here in Indonesia. Have a look at the table of recommendations for in Australia. Fair dinkum the Stump could have done better with a brick and a dartboard.

Best way I have found to deal with these time wasters and cold callers (providing you have a couple hours to kill) is to string them along (its good for a laugh). Once its gets to the crunch and they have virtually guaranteed the 15%-20% plus routine, just ask them for the $1000 surety from their own pocket.

“Mate, you obviously believe in the product and are very sure it’s going to make the returns you have said. How about this then, I will make the investments you suggest but you give me a $1000 of YOUR money. What ever the investment makes, I will add least that much to your $1000 surety. That way if we win..we both win if we lose we both lose..

Stump has had no takers yet!

P.S The Stump recommends by US dollars and lots of them..(of course the Stump’s last big tip was the Iraq Dinah but whose counting/..

Saturday, March 15, 2008


Ok, I am probably going to have to delete this post as it is both sexist and politically incorrect/racist (and the Stump always likes to take the moral high ground at personal risk for nose bleeds). However, a good friend sent a funny (yea yea I know) sms after reading the stump's latest post..

"Geez Mate, I could do things with her that would make a poofter vomit"

"Re your sorry post..Did you hear that an Aboriginal Activist rang the Australian Federal Police and said SORRY as well...............but he doesn't know anything about any stolen generators?"

Friday, March 14, 2008


Its friday...and it's been a lonnnng week! Seems like everyone is doing a runner to places that actually cater to tourists rather then make posters up about tourism.

But we are the Stump are trapped for awhile but if all goes to China later in the year to visit a sister manufacturing company (They were going to do it here but after 12 months of inconsistant tax rulings and start up regulations decided to pass).

Anyway, as I said off to China to see a factory...naagh..I am lying..I wanna see THIS!!!!!!!!! (We miss the Indcoup girls!!)

Its ok the mystic princess said I can look but not touch!!

So enjoy your weekend..and remember the words of the famous Henry Lawson..

"Beer makes you feel the way you should without drinking beer"

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

FGM (Coming to a child near you)

Just a quick one today and a plug for Indonesian Matters
and Indonesia Anonymus.
I stole the graphics from their sites. However, I think both topics and posts are worth a very hard look. As for the picture of evil above, it sums up my opinion of Female (and male for that matter) Genital Mutilation.

FGM ….Its wrong, It's Barbaric, It's Primitive = IT'S EVIL

Of course, feel free to disagree and comment but don't bother here, anybody who supports this kind of child abuse can take a long hike with a blunt knife and go slash their own appendages to their hearts content.

Does any human really doubt there is not a correlation between the top picture and the bottom graphic (Graphic relates spending on basic education by country, Indonesia is the bottom line ..surprise, surprise).

Indonesia shameful spend on Education (not shortage of new government cars tho) click to enlarge

Tuesday, March 11, 2008



Sorry all, the Stump has been really remiss in posting of late but busy fighting off that mammalian parasitic sub-species commonly known accountants (Who else would have the nerve to descend upon the innocent worker bees to discuss their very future at the same time insisting upon flying business class and staying in Five Star hotels).

Never the less, we appear to be having some success in warding off their evil designs although one should never under-underestimate the many faces of “the accountant”.

Took awhile, but the “Sorry” post is beginning to drag out the “noble savage” dreamers and the Stump will revisit this issue later as it deserves a more researched approach.

In the meantime, I must thank today’s Jakarta Post humour page (also known as Readers Forum) for inspiration for today’s lazy post.

WAHID writing about the upcoming Jakarta Jazz Festival states

“If it doesn't cost your government or people a cent, go ahead and do it, but don't be fooled by the 'culture' content.
Jazz is celebrated by the oldies who are tired of musical finesse, and is enjoyed with barrels of beer to warm up spent and waning sexual desires.
Pity your beautiful dames as victims of Western predators, all under the banner of culture.”
Kuala Lumpur

Fortunately it appears WAHID is in KL, which would have to go down as a good thing for Indonesia. Although I must admit a perverse joy in discovering my blog sparring partner Jakartass as a Jazz devotee has been finally exposed as an “Oldie, western predator with no musical finesse, with a spent sexual desire who lives in a barrel of beer” (Although being an Englishman, it would of course not be real beer just warm treacle). All this time I thought his major character flaws were his support for that bloody round ball game and distinct tilt to the left. Just goes to show….

On the other hand, our “CIGAR” time Blogger.. DILLIGAF has a quaint but very apt phrase for these talking mammals (Wahid not J) starts with F and ends with Witt). Not a term normally found on the Stump blog but sometimes a word just fits.

P.S. Who the hell, uses the word “Dame” anymore? Studying English from old B&W movies does has it’s drawbacks it would appear.

PPS. Post might be a bit infrequent over the next few weeks as we continue our crusade against the shadows of evil. You may wish to spend some time at the non-anonymous blogs, don’t forget to buy something..Tee hee..

Disclosure 1: The Stump is a not so secret JAZZ fan... yet to hear a wailer compare to the Magnificent if they played that from the Mosques at prayer time..

Disclosure 2: The Stump Blog, sells no widgets, hosts no conferences, does not presume to known the ulitmate purpose of Blogs.