Monday, June 25, 2007

Australia Attacks

Well I wasn't going to post today but then today's headline in the Jakarta Post caught my eye "Experts Warn of Aussie Arms Spending". Wow this must be serious I thought. If a country of 25 million people (if you count those thinking about having a baby) is suddenly a threat to country like Indonesia of 235 million (give or take 25 Million). Interesting red herring...Australia's entire Australia's entire population is the error magin in Indonesia's population count.

Anyway what have those pesky, aggressive Aussies gone and done now? According to International Relations Expert (?) at the University of Indonesia, Hariyadi Wirawan, Australia going to spend A$11 billion purchasing an advanced fleet of destroyers and amphibious warships with aim of encirling China with the help of Japan and the United States.

Well all I can say the Chinese must be terrified, at the sheer size of the fleet. What does the huge fleet that has all of the region trembling consist of?

Drum Roll please...............Three destroyers and two amphibious ships. I certainly hope that Hariyadi mentioned to the US that Australia might need some help encirling China alone. Based on google figures each Australia ship in the new fleet will have to encircle 264370377.6 people each.

Hayiyardi went on to say, that regional transparency was the key to avioding insecurity and urged Australia its current move.

Well Hayiyardi, its obvious! Australia's being very sneaky, John Howard held press conference and told everyone, the type of ship, who makes them (Spain), what they can carry, what armaments, how much they cost and where they would be based. But its all part of cunning plan. The Stump has it on good authority before Australia encircles China with its five ships, its going to practice with Indonesia, lets face it thats a lot easier only 47 million people per ship. (Ok we confess, our source is a mildly pissed off shark who lost half a fin to satisfy some sicko's desire for shark fin soup, which tends to cast some doubt on everything he tells us)

Meanwhile Bantarto Bandoro from Indonesia's Centre for Strategic and International Studies said Australia's military build-up could be the beginning of a regional arms race (hey Ban Ban. get a grip!! Its five ships!)

Of course, a more logical, less smoke induced rational might just be that Australia is an island with over 60,000km of coastline to protect or if you will 12000km for each ship of the fleet.

Only question left to ask, where do you buy the wacky weed?

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