Wednesday, May 21, 2008

How to cook an Accountant

Sheesh..It’s been a tough few weeks and battling the accountants has been like a scene from day of the Triffids, but we are hanging in there with not a few scalps under our belts.

Achieved a new Indonesian Airline Record, eight Lion air flights and was delayed nine times! (only in Indonesia, sick of being delayed, paid business class with another dodgy airline only to be delayed because a Lion Airline plane was broken and blocking the entrance to runway..BUGGER). Fair Dinkum and these Wackers want to run a nuclear power-plant, the mind boggles (glows?).

Still was nice to see the forces of tolerance and freedom of religion doing their bit for the Indonesia, Nothing like the burning of a place of worship and the homes of women and children to prove your devotion to GOD (although chucking children and virgins down the mouth of fiery volcanos would definitely bring back the crowds, seems an opportunity missed considering the number of volcanos just waiting for the tolerant in this country).

The Stump’s mate, Rob from the Rab Experience comment on the East Timor Post that the Indonesian version of history was not surprising and he is of course quite correct. Bizarre would be a term that springs to mind.

Although, the Stump is also surprised and the blinkered view that the Western Liberal Love Duds take on the “Freedom Fighters” they certainly were no slouches in the lets treat people like animals stakes.

Onto more recent news, nature’s fury in Burma has exposed the absolute myth pushed by ASEAN nations that the third way “sssshhh don’t offend anyone” because the Asian way is better.

Of course, Stump has always had an issue with the world’s wanker nations huffing and puffing about the US and its evil GITMO prison etc. The simple fact is the worst conditions in an American Prison don’t hold a candle to the injustices and abuse that occur in the accusing nations (Indonesia included, although only if you are poor).

It’s not so much that the US has GITMO because on the scale of 1-10 in evil it rates a 1 compared to the other ratbags, we are just disappointed that the US lowered its standards to float at the edges of that particular cess pool.

Have fun.

Today’s Recipe.

Take one beady eyed, inbred, buck toothed, accountant.
Skin thoroughly, add spices to taste
Lower slowly into a boiling pot (don’t worry about the screams that’s just the air escaping)
Through in one leather safety boot (REDWING is best), same pot
Boil until Boot is soft
Once Boot is soft, remove accountant
Throw away accountant and eat boot (there is no residual nourishment in accountants dead or alive)


Anonymous said...

Aaahhh, outback food so reminds me of the Galah and river rock recipe.

As long as your still kicking, it's a good thing.

Dilligaf said...

Welcome back, long time no post!

Agree with you on the accountants although I prefer mine sauteed!

oigal said...

GJ... yep..still here to annoy, amuse and offend but mostly bore..busted on the galah recipe ..huh

Dili.. you should talk.. then man of thousand absences...still Bangkok..I can understand, I enjoy table tennis myself

Jakartass said...

Ah, it's so good to have you back with your righteous rants.

Here's me trying to be oh-so-British in my polite sarcasm and you get to kick 'em in the goolies.

Nice one, Bruce.

BTW. Should I add 'plastic bottles' to 'Paul Scholes penis' in order to attract more visitors?