JUDGEMENT DAY AND MONKS

There seems to be an insidious plot to unearth the Greenstump’s devious and hidden dark side and its fun watching all unfold. As far as dark sides go the Stump figures come Judgement Day, the stump won’t even be in the fast lane.

Judgement Day is one of the many dubious pieces of faith that both Christianity and Islam have in common. Now the Stump prefers to think that GOD is the bloke or blokette that lives in those places between ignorance and science. Never the less (always good to have a dollar each way), on the off chance the Stump is wrong, the Stump takes comfort in the Judgement Day Priority line theory.

Come the day in question,

All Powerful Bloke/Blokette, APB for short (You know the merciful one who casts us naughties into the pit of flames or whatever is the cultural equivalent)

APB “Ah Stump nice to see you could make it but we will have to deal with you later”

Stump “Eer APB.. I can explain the hamster and the tape, honest”

APB “Stump are you serious, we won’t get to your pathetic attempts of naughty for another gazillion years. Now did you happen to see that bloody Singing General, an overly rich bastard with mud on his shoes or anyone of those lying sons of bitches who have had the gall to kill, murder and beat in my name.

Stump “Yep over there (what did you expect the stump to say sheesh)”

APB “Ok you sit over there in the waiting room and don’t stick the pages of the Hustler together and I will get to you in another eternity or so. If you see a wacker running around in funny hat and purple dress telling people it’s a sin to use condoms, tell him I am looking for him as well”

POLAR BEARS AND TREES DON'T MIX

If you want some fun reading pop across to see the Polar Bear and Treespotter slugfest. Not withstanding the Bears strange need to “Glass” someone (must be a Bear or Scot thing?)the Stump thinks Tree is on hiding to nothing on this one, Blaming the thieving colonials for all our sins really has not held water since Japan and Korea got up and running after being blown all the way back to the stone age.

Of course, it probably just the cynical Stump, but Stump does find a delightful irony whenever Jakartaite complains about colonialism and the damage and hurt caused imposing a "foreign" culture on others.

Finally, in keeping with the Religous Theme.

The Stump came across this interesting little fact today



LAS VEGAS CATHOLIC CHURCHES ACCEPT GAMBLING CHIPS

THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS , BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.

NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.

SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS..

THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.


THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.


YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING DID YOU?






AND HAS ANYONE SEEN THE STUMP'S HANDPHONE!

OUT SOURCING RISKS N REWARDS

Well it would appear that sub-contracting rants is not without it’s complications.

The Stump should perhaps clear a couple of things up, firstly when I said The Ranter needs to get more personal, I was suggesting that perhaps the “Ranter” should nominate the blogger that generated such a post. As it turns out there a more than few that are provoked by the Ranter and they obviously mistook “personal” for descriptions of family relations (bastards, sob etc) and suggestions for sexual diversions (one of which is I am not sure is even possible, certainly gross). So you will understand that not all comments made the grade. Rima’s suggestion for government improvements certainly had some merit though(you will have to ask her).

Secondly, Jakartass takes issue with the Stump for sub-contracting rants, which is a trifle harsh as its part of the KITAS thingy. All foreigners are to provide opportunity for foreign employee positions to be replaced by Indonesians (Can anyone really tell us, where the $1200 per KITAS really goes?)

Anyway, it’s starting with a life of its own now so we can all sit back and watch
(What a shame I don’t sell widgets on this site)

Have good weekend all…

THE RANTER DATANG

A surprise for all, the Stump has an anonymous guest blogger. Although in the fine (or not so) traditions of the Greenstump perhaps we should say a guest “Ranter”.

All the Stump is at liberty to say is “The Ranter” is fair dinkum, ridgy-didge, true blue Indonesian. Annoyed at those who continually criticise Indonesia (that would be the Stump) but more importantly, the ranter is positively livid at those Indonesians who have the education, money and skills to change Indonesia for the better, but who decide to travel overseas and come back with nothing but negatives about their home country.

So it is with great pleasure the Stump introduces “THE RANTER”



Being an (not so) Indonesian


This is when I normally came up when feeling rather troubled and down.
Getting really pissed over people who can’t seem to appreciate where they came from. And usually, yes people, usually these sort of comments (assume this refers to the heading above that what used on another blog someplace..stump) come from those who had lived not really far from Indonesia, not long enough to feel how they suffer without the sun showering their days the way it is in Indonesia.

Brag. First, they’ll brag about how organized it is in other countries. People queue, people line of for tube tickets, people line up for vending machines. Then they’ll continue bragging on how blue the sky is on the other side of the world, compare to the polluted Indonesia (mind how they mix Indonesia with Jakarta!!). Not enough? Then, they’ll brag about how good the manners of people abroad compare to the smileful Indonesians. Hmmph. I hope you do spot some anomaly in my last sentence.
Unless you have traveled to all thirteen thousands something islands in Indonesia, do not say that our country is worse than a piece of small island formed off a country in Europe.

Unless you have seen and touched paddy fields in your life, do not say that the air in Indonesia is polluted and people are building malls everywhere.
Unless you have slept on some part of sandy beaches in Western part of Indonesia, do not say that our beaches are abandoned.

You can’t say that Jakarta represents Indonesia in general. Surely if you only see Jakarta (and all other big cities) you might want to have that impression. But have you thought of going to another side of the Indonesia’s world? Try going down under the water, snorkel, dive, then you’d forget about all of the malls in Indonesia, for that matters. Try climbing the mountains or even a small hill, then you’ll forget about how bad the traffic is everywhere in Jakarta.

I just simply don’t understand why people with so little knowledge decided to generalize everything about something they don’t even know.
It is like one blind person trying to explain how an elephant looks like while holding only its ear.
Sad. Well, pathetic to be exact.


Stump..All in all not a bad rant..although lacks the personal touch...Someone has set the Ranter off and we shall endeavour to track down the cause of such venom and let the blog war begin.. Meanwhile the Stump is off to find an Elephants Ear.

MONKEYS ON WHEELS

Morons, Idiots, Monkeys on Wheels..

What kind of drop kick, useless flog-guts do they allow to drive in this bloody country. Isn’t there any kind of license test, stupid corrupt bastards!

What kind of moron would you have to be to miss a turn on a busy main road, put your car straight into reverse and slam into the car behind you, without once checking your revision mirror..

Oh OOOPS BUGGER BUM AND BASTARD… That would be the Stump.. Please insert “Stump” into all of the above boxes


A CORRECTION ON STOLEN GENERATIONS POST… Apparently there has now been “one” case of the stolen generation that has stood up in court although currently under appeal.

POST TURTLES & DEWI

The Stump was not going to do another Prime Minister Krudd post as there is only so much you can do with an empty space. However, we were sent a post turtle email which aptly describes the current ratbag occupying the Prime Minister position in Australia.

POST TURTLE

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old South Australian Wheat Farmer, whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Prime Minister Rudd and his pathetic excuse for a government. The old farmer said, "Welllll, Rudd is a 'Post Turtle'.

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'Post Turtle' was. The old farmer said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'Post Turtle'." The old Farmer saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain. "You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he is up there, and you just wonder what kind of a galah put him up there in the first place!.

Speaking of Galahs (Galah - noisy, colourful Australian parrots not known for their intelligence and generally considered a pest). Normally the stump has a lot of time for Indonesian Journalist Dewi Anggraeni, however she was well and truly caught out recently whilst commenting on the Australian Stolen Generations issue.

Falling for the high profile, media induced but total beat up of the so-called Stolen Generations, she was taken to task by a reader for adding to the "spin of the stolen generations story" when a reader suggested that she might have interviewed say..five members of the stolen generations.

This was a bit sneaky by the reader, as he full well knew as would anyone who has done a modicum of research, she would not find any genuine cases. The Australian Loony Left has been trying for the last ten years to find just one case that would stand up as a class action without success but some simply hugely embarrassing failures

Now this would not normally be a problem and no one could blame Dewi for falling for this particular piece of revisionist history rubbish as it has claimed any number of gullible victims (Tell the same lie often enough it becomes the truth..who said that?).

Where Dewi falls from the Stump's graces, is when challenged on why she didn't actually do some research and interview some of the "Stolen Generations" , Dewi replies "I did indeed interview members of the stolen generations"

Dewi..Dewi..Dewi.. Just because some says they are something doesn't make it so. No court in Australia nor the combined forces of the looney left have managed to come up with a bone fide case so do you really expect us to believe you did? Come on, fess up...

Trouble is, once you are caught out once, everything else you want to say is suspect...TSK TSK TSK ..or ask the new Australian Minister for plastic bags Peter Garret

OIL PRICES, RACISTS AND ARSEHOLES

Bizarre, We have come through the "Battle of Insipid Bean-Counters" with the business surviving although swallowing up another division along the way. Casualties were limited to the jobs of number of other expats in the other loss making division, leaving the stump as sole “foreign survivor" in the now joined companies(further proof that the prayers of the faithful and vindictive don’t matter). Although others will fall as the new culture of accountability and actually being required to produce rather than just sit and shit are introduced.

A much bigger organisation now although no-where near as profitable, so the search was on for a Human Resources Director. Interview Time duly came and with some “seemingly” high quality candidates. Process was we explain our company and its values (bruised but still standing after the battle with the morally devoid IBCs). You would think such things that would give a hint to a prospective candidate of what should be said? Such values identified as critical were; promotion is on merit not length of service, gender, religion, age, ethnic group are to have no bearing on hiring or promotion.

Further discussion was held on the need to be able to communicate carefully what is required to the workers as little miscommunication tend to get out hand quickly in Indonesia.

Then came the time for our prospective candidate to explain what he could bring to the company. He explained he was very sensitive and skilled at communication as he had spent considerable time in Papua. "It was very difficult there...Blah Blah" at which point he leaned over and whispered “As you know Mr, the only good Papuan is a dead one but we couldn’t do that” At which point, the Stump leaned across and said “Interview is over”

In an amusing addition to the above story, we received a letter on Friday from the “dropkicks” legal advisor (?) today threatening to take us to court as we had discriminated against him on the basis of his religion. We have written back advising we have requested a hearing in court next month and hope he can attend ..oh and we have requested the case be heard in Papua (we haven’t of course, but the stump was helpless in the desire to mock in the face of such nasty stupid)…Bloody Bottom Feeders annoy us!

On the other updates, Prime Minister Krudd continues to expose the left wing of Australia as vacuous as their international cousins. Yet further signs of just how shallow and hollow little weasel is was demonstrated when he tried cosying up to those unrepresentive, intolerant FATWA issuing, self serving galahs, know locally as the M*I. Little Kruddy was out of his depth (anything above 2cm from base morals puts him out his depth) and has all the class of a soggy wet end cigar end. Did anyone else feel like vomiting as this twerp offered scholarships to the all-knowers of Allah's Will? As an aside, we ain't religious at the Stump but if you know God's will doesn't that make you a GOD as well?

Speaking of smoking (actually soggy cigar ends but anyway..), did you happen to see the elitist, privileged morons writing to the paper about those evil smokers at the same time the papers are full of reports of children starving to death in the most resource rich nation in South East Asia. A 100 Years of Awakening indeed, perhaps an awakening for ten minutes would help! One could ask when will we awake and say “ENOUGH” and demand some accountability from the obscene pigs with their noses so deep in the trough they cannot see their own people suffering.

Other big news this month is “Fuel Prices”. Interestingly, none of our rabid green friends (you remember them, the bio fuel disaster freaks and supporters) have owned up to the fact, the fuel prices you are seeing now are nothing as to what will happen if the green freaks and intellectually challenged politicians get their way with the fools dream of carbon and emission trading. Although one should never be surprised at the duplicity and hypocrisy of the Rabid Greens.

On the plus side, the ever increasing higher prices will force countries like the USA and Australia to become far more fuel independent (yes it will still be oil, perhaps squeezed greenies as an additive though.) Once the cash life line of the sand cultists dries up (pun intended), the export of hate from the Sand Cultists will fall back into irrelevance as God (tee hee) intended.

Meanwhile, on the plus side the high fuel prices have driven down the price of the STUMPS latest order. A new throbbing .5.4 Litre, 8 Cylinder Ford Falcon FG8 will be the Stump’s latest contribution to providing penguins with chance to enjoy weather without a jumper like the rest of us. Although, it won’t be ready for few months as it Stump is still playing with SPV for some additional tricks.

BTW..Anyone know where we can find a good technically minded, operations manager?

THE LAST WORD.. This month's silliest headline "RI sends full medical team and logistical aid to China" perhaps they should them to Kupang Indonesia where the death toll of children from starvation is over two dozen and climbing.

Which gives us our two nominations for Arsehole of the Month award:

Nomination One:

An official asked about the dead children was quoted as saying

"It's the parents fault, they are ignorant and don't know how to nourish their children"

Nomination Two:

A pond scum dweller writing in to The Jakarta Post (paraphrased, look it up yourself) "I am sorry to say the government should not provide education assistance to poor people they don't deserve it"

KEVIN RUDD HUMAN-LITE

The Stump noticed the new Australian Prime Minister Kevin “earwax” Krud popped into Indonesia for about 20 minutes the other day. Bizarrely the Indonesian Press made quite a fuss about it (relatively), routinely commenting on new beginnings and stronger ties with new Asia friendly ties.

Actually we should not be surprised, Krud is about as close to atypical Javanese politician as you will get. Excessively polite, plenty of style and not a cracker of substance in anything said.

Let’s review some of the highlights of this over promoted dog-catcher:

• Went on pilgrimage to the Hiroshima Shine. The Stump wonders if he offered to accompany the Japanese Prime Minister on a tour of the Sandakan Death March locations or perhaps mention it might be time to acknowledge the Japanese use (abuse) of Asian Comfort woman during World War 2.

• Signed the Kyoto Treaty in a classic display of no substance Australia could cease all economic activity right now and make less than ½ per cent change to CO2 to the environment whilst countries like Indonesia, China and India as major polluters (all jockeying for top five positions) have absolutely no obligation (or desire) to take any responsibility for the criminal abuse of their own eco-systems.

• Proposed a regional Euro-Union ..oops sorry SE Asia union..classic!! Don’t we have a very effective one of those. The Stump will have to check with Burma on that.

We were gunna do a post on "BLUE ENERGY" but that was too easy...and we couldn't stop laughing...Psst...The stump has a good lead on Sydney wanting to sell the Harbour Bridge..for a small upfront commission (say $250,000) we could steer the contract your way................

Well that’s today’s rant from us LAZY BASTARDS..

WE'RE BACK!!!!!!!!

Some one famous (or was it Guru Bob) once said “If a tree falls in the forest and no-one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?” or updated “If the Stump does not post does any one notice?”

Well the Stump is back although battle worn and bruised. Suffice to say the war of accountants has ended (here on know as the War of the Poses). Upsetting to some but the Stump and the loyal team of Stumplets have survived, a number of people in the “other” organisation have fallen on the sword of accountability.

Of course, a few more are to fall yet as the changing of the culture of the newly absorbed organisation begins (no, marking up supplier invoices by 10% and sharing the extra does not qualify you as a “self starter”).

The Stump notes Indonesia has got along fine without us (who needs one more fool in our quaint little circus). Our resident bottom feeders the FPI (Fantastically Pathetic Idiots) quickly disproved the myth that Religious Nut Bags are provoked into thuggery and terror by Western Attitudes as they attacked innocent people in central Jakarta with nail impregnated bamboo poles. The Stump has always stood in sheer awe of the morons who blithely state that Australia’s participation in Iraq increased the risk of terror attacks. Of course, the fact that the Bali bombings took place before Iraq escapes these web-footed, simple minded apologists for thugs. The FPI demonstrated once and for all that a moron and his religion will always find someone to hate.

Other news a new international study found with 99% certainty that the Brothers GRIM were responsible for flooding thousands of villages out of their homes. Hands up, who didn’t know that already..Ok Hands Down Mr B.. Money only buys the written truth in Indonesia not the real truth.

An Indonesian clergyman (who cares what his name is.. Father ILIEALOT or something) proved the church has learnt nothing from its shameless support of the NAZI’s by declaring that there was no problem with Religious Tolerance in Indonesia. One can only wonder what colour is the sky in his world?

The Junta over in Burma is still proving the ASEAN principles of inducing change in the “Asian Way” is a roaring success expect for the stench of rotting bodies but at least we remain polite about it.

Ok enough rants for one day..its gooooooddddddd to be back (that’s good not GOD)