Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Government Wankers

All the Stump has to say is we bloody well concur!

Dear Mr. Minister,
>
> I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
>
> How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows that I bought a Television Set and Golf Clubs from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.
>
> For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?
>
> My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years. It is on my driver's licence, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966.
>
> Also..would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Audrey, my Father's name is Jack, and I'd be absolutely fucking astounded if that ever changed between now and when I drop dead!!!...
>
> SHIT!
>
> I apologize, Mr. Minister. But I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of all this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fucking address!! What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of mindless Neanderthal arseholes workin' there!
>
> And another thing, look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I can't even grow a beard for God's sakes. I just want to go to New Zealand and see my new granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl). And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
>
> Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city, and get another fucking copy of my birth certificate, and to part with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!
>
> Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day?? Nooooo.. That'd be too fucking easy and makes far too much sense. You would much prefer to have us running all over the place like chickens with our fucking heads cut off, and then having to find some high society wanker to confirm that it's really me in the goddamn photo! You know the photo..the one where we're not allowed to smile?! ...you fucking morons
>
> Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen.
>
> P.S Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone in high-society to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since before 1850! In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor. (You do remember the Eureka Stockade!!) I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army something over 30 years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high security clearances.
> I'm also a personal friend of the president of the RSL.. And Lt General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year.
>
> However, your rules require that I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am; You know.. Someone like my doctor; WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN FUCKING PAKISTAN!!!......a country where they either assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers, and are suspended from the Commonwealth for not having the 'right sort of government.'
>
> You are all Fucking idiots

12 comments:

GJ said...

I'm laughing, no pissing myself 'spose you're not.
Cheers.

oigal said...

In fact, I am as well...Can't help but think a few million of those letters from the people of Indonesia to their 'government' (ok there are better words than government but hey..)

Let's see it could Start..

Dear Minister Bakrie

I like mud and fancy weddings for spoilt brats as much as the next bloke..but.....

Rob Baiton said...

Stump...

It is one of those posts where you piss yourself laughing and then think how fuckin' sad is that as everything is on the money.

The Pakistani doctor touch was nice too!

In Indonesia it would simply be a case of pick a Minister, any Minister...

Nice post...

mr snag said...

By the way stumpy, you are not entitled to a Medicare card - I suggest you pull you head in or someone might dob you in,,,,,,

oigal said...

Mr Snag..Do try and comprend before you comment.. "Stump concurs"..I didn't write the letter ya knobber..so speaking of pulling..off ya go..(P.S. For what it is worth you are wrong in facts as well but that's life sytle choice in your case)

Rob...Ya sad isn't it..I must admit I do get my back up when some drongo barely able to speak englsih starts asking "What is your reason for coming to Australia"

mr snag said...

I will continue nevertheless with my correct advice. If one has lived outside of Australia for some time one is not entitled to a Medicare card.

As for Mr Baiton, I have never seen an appaling comment made by him before. This is a first.

As for lifestyle choice, what's yours? Im Stumped.

Achmad Sudarsono said...

Halo Pak Oigal,

I am back.

I recommend in the future that you show greater respect to your leaders and superiors.

I thank you.

treespotter said...

hurrah!

oigal said...

Ah Mr Snag, You information is not correct nor incorrect..but (surprise surprise) the post is not about Medicare regulations (yawn) I suggest you got to the medicare website if that tickles your fancy..you may wish to check out resident and not resident status etc etc...Appalling comment..What a prentious twit you can be..climb off the high horse sport and get a sense of humour.

T'spotter ...???

AssMad.. IM has been getting a bit slow lately hey..although "fighting for cause" was vomit worthy even for you..

treespotter said...

i cheered the wankiness of gov't everywhere...

oigal said...

t'spotter...too true.. and the Stump does try and be equally cynical but sometimes people make it too easy.

Although did you see that the Oz goverment has allocated 46 Million dollars to study how much cows fart and how to apply a carbon tax to cows (thank F.. I don't breed whales for living)

Achmad Sudarsono said...

hi oigal !

Just a burst of nostalgia. Good to see you're still fighting the good fight. :-)