Tuesday, May 15, 2007

DILBERT GOES NUCLEAR


As promised, more from the National Office of Shallow Thought (also known as Indonesian Nuclear Technology Supervisory Agency)

Now just because I do not support the wholesale alarmist calls of the more radical Green groups does not mean (as some have suggested) that we at the stump are blind to moronic plans to turn us all into glowing mutants.

With Indonesian’s Nuclear Power proposal even Blind Freddy could see that a Nuclear Power Plant/Industry in Indonesia would be an unmitigated economic and environmental disaster! Fortunately, us ANTI – NUKES have secret ally in fighting such a proposal, none other than the Nuclear Technology Supervisory Agency itself. Even the dullest moss rock upon reading the tripe that issues forth from this tomb of creative thought would be left in any doubt that Indonesia is not ready for a Nuclear Industry.

Risk Management is a fairly basic industry requirement (any industry) requiring a risk management study to be performed before any project is begun. This requires an honest and open assessment of any and all risks in the project that may be encountered. Fortunately, our very own agency has come up with these RISK MANAGEMENT “Howlers” to keep us all amused.

"All forms of technology involve certain risks, but since the early development of our reactors we have surveyed all probabilities”.
All probabilities???? Very godlike, most professional risk management strategies at least have the humility to allow for the unforeseen in some fashion but not these guys! Direct line to the Gods apparently.

"Regulations oblige us to choose power plant technology that has been proven safe, rather than new, untested technology,"
One assume these are similar to the regulations and regulated in the same manner that ensure our “SAFE” air travel, sea travel and train travel.

“Many Asian countries frequently affected by earthquakes such as Japan and Korea had long been developing their own nuclear power plants. Japan has built more than 50 power plants and South Korea has built more than 20 power plants. Japan is often hit by earthquakes but has avoided nuclear accidents. Why are we so worried about risks we are able to anticipate?"

Honest assessments of the risk remember? Is our Agency of Stupid suggesting that Indonesia is on technological par with South Korea and Japan? Sheesh.. There comes a time that even self delusion needs medication before we do serious harm! Seriously, we have not even been able to dig a flood mitigation channel in our capital city in 60 years or maintain a sidewalk fit for pedestrians, on what planet do we think we could maintain a Nuclear Power Plant?

What kind of self serving, dodgy risk management study has been done if you cannot even acknowledge that countries like Japan and South Korea just might just have a technological edge on Indonesia.

Ok maybe I am a cynic, but with a radio-active fallout having a half life of hundreds if not thousands of years, surely we are entitled ask…”WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?”

Of course, it would naïve to think this about bettering the lives of the general populace. Everyone knows that Nuclear Power Plants are hideously expensive and there would be MEGA BUCKS to be made. You can just see Ma Baker (ie) and the boys waiting for honey pot(pun intended) to be opened.
For those who do think I am being overly cynical perhaps you could point me to something/anything that would put our hearts at rest that we could trust these guys not to make us glow green in the night!

As a side issue, I have never understood the concept of why Nuke Power in Indonesia (or Iran for that matter). Millions of tonnes of free coal, free gas and free oil in the ground but Indonesia just sells it off and seeks in import hideously expensive glow in the dark technology. Less to do with a realistic approach to a problem and more to do with macho erections and mega bucks perhaps.

I don’t claim to a economist, but surely one way out of the power crisis (without glowing green) would be to build into future coal, oil contracts a requirement to build and supply fuel for public access power stations, the cost of which could be offset against normally paid taxes and royalties. This would mean there would be fewer opportunities for the parasites of this country to sneak their fingers into the honey jar, so it won’t happen anytime soon, don’t hold your breath waiting ok.

Anyway for those who would like to read the silliest statement made in support of Nuclear Energy, check out May 9th edition of the Jakarta Post. Once again where are our reporters to challenge such blatant “Dilbert” statements? Seriously guys/girls there is more to reporting than spewing out mindless press releases on behalf of some self serving public servant (Ok its a risk using that term here).

Disclaimer:
1. I am actually a supporter of Nuclear Energy, but why I would trust the blokes talking and speaking so far to organize a hooker in a knock shop
2. Sorry about the picture, I was looking for mutants and found “Communist Mutants From Outer Space”..Gotta love the title anyway

2 comments:

Unspun said...

"office of shallow thought"? You mean there is thinking in the first place?

oigal said...

Hi Unspun,

A very valid point.