BASTARDS INC

“Desperate remorse swallows the present in a quenchless rage.”

Tis coming to pass, the vile whispers, the dearth of emails from the powers that be, the all pervading stench of rat, no good can of come of this.

Although we have made money it would appear that evil sub race collectly known as accountants have convinced the senile McDucks that Indonesia may not be the best place to be, or at least the best place to be in the current form (although to be fair the inane, bizarre, inept antics of customs, tax and the courts hardly do anything to help). Is there anything more vile than a bean counter who has never seen where the beans are made?

The stump is fighting a desperate rear guard action although we suspect the battle may already be over. Perhaps all that is left is the minor skirmishes of pride. For the Stump, we have the escape clause and access to the freedom tickets to places where they don’t burn churches instead of logs for Christmas. The stumps national comrades don’t have such luxury, these are the real people not the thugs who gain all the news in Indonesia and yet the thugs and the bean counters may yet win.

In spite of all the stumps rantings, Indonesia is a place we feel at home. The rants are directed at the pond toads that live in every country. Unfortunately, the people who daily toil day in and day out just to put food on the table and send their kids to school are probably about to get shafted for no other reason than a few cents a share and vision so aptly presented to world by the corrupt and inept.

There is no dole or government hand outs here, where will they go? What will they do?

How do you make a bean counter thousands of mile away understand that a company does much more than hire people in Indonesia (well a good one does anyway). Births, Deaths, Marriages are compulsory attendance. How can the stump (You can bet the accountant won’t come and deliver the news) look these people in the eye and say thanks for the fish “we are outta here”?

Still we shall not go quietly into the night…

My experience has been in a short 77 years that in the end when you fight for a desperate cause and have good reasons to fight, you usually win.”

Edward Teller

Anyone got a lazy million dollars?..that’ll get em!

Australia Day and Suharto

The 26 January was Australia Day, unfortunately the weekend was marred by the cringing, shallow little weasel Australia now touts as a Prime Minister.

Yet again, the left leaning Labor party demonstrated its complete inability to grasp the fundamental differences between right and wrong with its sycophantic little ode to the news of death of Suharto.

Prime Minister Rudd
"On behalf of the Government and people of Australia, I extend to the President and people of the Republic of Indonesia our condolences on the passing of former Indonesian president Suharto," the Prime Minister said.

"Former president Suharto was one of the longest-serving heads of government of the last century and an influential figure in Australia's region and beyond ... The former president was also a controversial figure in respect of human rights and East Timor and many have disagreed with his approach."

You would reckon the leftist loons would have learned a little bit from the hypocritical deeds of the other Labor Loonies that Australia has had to tolerate (Whitlam, Keating) and the shameful debacle of selective blindness during the invasion of East Timor. At the very least, embarrassment at the evils they have supported in the past would have created to need to take a deep breathe before opening the yawing mouth of diplomatic cowardice yet again. Diplomacy would perhaps dictate a certain sensitivity at this time but surely silence would have been a far more measured and correct response.

By the way Prime Minister Crudd, say what you like but don’t presume to be speaking for any at the Stump.

THE BULLETIN CLOSES

They came of bold and roving stock that would not fixed abide;
They were the sons of field and flock since e'er they learnt to ride,
We may not hope to see such men in these degenerate years

Banjo Patterson (Contributor Bulletin Magazine)


It is with a sad heart that the Stump must report the passing of an old friend, fallen afoul of those miserable vultures more commonly known as private equity funds managers.
This week marks the last edition of The Bulletin Magazine after 128 years of publishing in Australia.

The Bulletin started life as a magazine for the workers and Outback Australians struggling on rural sometimes marginal rural selects. The Bulletin played a large role in creating the healthy cynical disrespect for authority figures and elected scumbags that Australians have today. A Bulletin claim to fame was its close to the bone reporting during the shearers strike of 1891. This strike set the foundations of the labour movement in Australia well before the Union Movement was hijacked by disgruntled thugs and layabouts cast out of Britain. The reporting and support for the bush lodged the Bulletin as the “bushmans bible” in her early years.

Reflecting its position and readers, the magazine proudly proclaimed its dedication to a White Australia and up until the 1950’s carried the banner ‘Australia for the White Man’ on every front cover (Note to the morally outraged..go and check your Pri Bumi regulations and suck a fish, the Stump does not belong to the black arm band view of Australian History).

Rather than racism, this was more of a mirror of the feelings of the vast majority of Australians, particularly after World War 2. A direct result in response to the horrors perpetrated throughout Asia by the Japanese was the on going support for the White Australia Policy...(“In accepting your surrender we do not honour you, for you are the scum of the earth” ah but that’s another post closer to ANZAC DAY).

Prior to WW2, the working class and upper society people feared the influx of Chinese Gold Miners would ruin the emerging nation’s primarily British Culture and the Bulletin reflected and played upon these working class fears.

As Australia embraced the leftist dream and the great disaster of “Multi-Culturalism" in the late 70s and early 80's. Many saw but few commented that the country was flirting with cultural suicide and our grand dame of rage had been beaten into submission. Of course, Multi Culturalism is and always has been absolute nonsense based on the fundamentally flawed theory that all cultures are equal and are equally deserving of respect. Unfortunately, political correctness and a succession of testicle challenged editors (Donald Horne for one) prevented the Bulletin from raging at the night as she had in years gone by. As a consequence the working class readership and bush base was lost forever.


A magazine for workers and poor outback Australian not the sad little chardonnay socialists who abound and who would not recognise a hard days work if it reared up and bite them on the arse. It was brutal to watch the fiesty working class, slightly rude tart's sad decline at the hands of the new age toffs as they tried to transform her into a poltically correct but boringly cheap copy of TIME.

Savaged in her later years, in particular for her racist (?) past, the bulletin’s readership fell dramatically. The Grand Dame was kept hacking along albiet on a dollar by dollar drip by the Packer Family who had at least some since of history until old man Packer passed away. Unfortunately as is so often the case, the spoilt brat rarely matches the greatness of the father and the young knobble headed Packer sold out the business (and the country) to gain entry into the sleazy world of gambling and casinos. Some would suggest this heralded the sad transformation of nation building family into another bunch of parasites, after years of enjoying tax payer funded infrastructure. Fair Dinkum you would think the family name was QANTAS).

As an aside, when first posted to the jungles, I tried to buy access for the online bulletin magazine. As is so often the case with Indonesian and Malaysia being the credit card fraud epi-centre of the SE Asia, my card was refused. I wrote to the subscriptions department and requested another form of payment. The reply, “here is a password and key for free, just promise to buy the magazine when you are back in Australia” They did that every year for three years, kind of sums up the Magazine, help out a mate and your word is good enough for us.

Once the private equity group got its hands on the magazine its days were numbered. An American chief executive working for a Scottish boss who represents a Hong Kong private equity fund closed the Australian institution with a 128-year-old publishing history.

RIP old friend, the nation dumbs down even more to sound bites and ten second news grabs.


So to the American chief executive, the Scottish boss and the Hong Kong private equity fund here’s something else from Australia, see if the description feels comfortable to wear, it was used to describe some others of dubious social worth but it still seems fitting to me.

“A parcel of big ugly fat necked wombat headed big bellied, magpie legged narrow hipped, splawfooted sons of Irish bailiffs or English landlords”
The Jerilderie Letter

Or simply BASTARDS

DEEP THOUGHTS AT THE STUMP

Ah..The Stump is Stunned! It has been reported that Greenstump has gained another reader, thus bringing the grand total to five (actually 10 if you include the multi gender confused and sleazy personalities of our resident troll).

Of greater concern is our new reader actually agrees with the majority of the posts! Upon reflection, this is scary , we at the stump don't even agree with everything we write. Sheesh, get into double figure readership and the stump will have to learn to spell and other new age crap. (Ok but we still think VP Short Stuff is a complete loon but fun to read about).

Anyway..serious, life changing issues are developing at and around the stump at the moment. These developments causing considerable stress on which jalan one should take and ruining lifes little pleasures..Therefore not being God Botherers only one solution is left in the quest for answers..



Followed by large qauntities of cleansing ales here...



"Ale for my friends and Wine for my horses lassie, and send that group there a plate of Ham Sandwitches on me"

Visit Indonesia 2008

Clowns to the left of me..Jokers to the right..here I am stuck in the middle with you

Its just not fair, the Stump gets bad press for being always critial of Indonesia but they make it so hard not too!

The powers that be (and the smarts that ain't) have decided that 2008 will be ‘Visit Indonesia Year 2008’ (huh?) and the brainstormers came up with the slogan "Celebrating 100 years of national awakening" (double huh?) which is marginally better english than the first effort “Celebrating 100 years of nation's awakening”. Although to be fair both slogans would not look out of place on the local airline fleet that sports the “Fly is cheap” slogan

However, I digress. Despite the inept slogans, you would think that as it has been declared Visit Indonesia Year 2008’ then perhaps some coordinated efforts would be made to encourage tourism… ha ha tricked ya!

Some background: Of all the variations of "tread lightly" tourists a nation could want to visit, Cruising Sailors are perhaps the best of all. Generally older couples, they tend to visit isolated communtities, visit local markets and villages with their money going straight into the local community. No drunken group assaults on the senses, nor an on-going mass of overwhelming yobbo groups that in time challenge even the strongest culture.

So Indonesia’s answer to the greying goldmines of tourist dollars:

The Jan 08 Issue of Cruising Helmsman magazine reports (sorry no direct link):

Indonesia-bound cruisers slugged with import duty

“Cruisers heading for Indonesia have been warned that Customs Officials in some ports are demanding that foreign yachts must pay and import duty on arrival based on a percentage value of the yacht. This can amount to several thousand dollars.”

The article goes on to say that technically the duty is refundable upon departure but will obviously cause financial hardship in the short term. (Technically refundable? That’s a hoot in its own right. When a friend alerted me to the article, he asked if I thought he would get his money back..To which the answer was not even if the Customs Wallah handed over his first born son as security).

Just to further complicate things, the article states that not all ports are doing this. This bit cracked me up

“In Kupang, for instance they are trying to enforce it but they don’t have the correct forms”

To the Tourism Minister and Customs ..Thanks Guys..You really are tourist attractions in your own right…

Of course, with the stories of piracy and this monumental piece of stupid being printed for the whole world to see, I would not be factoring in any yachties to increase tourism numbers this year.

Filed under: inept, greed, stupid

Killer Tomatoes, Clones and Suharto

Reported on the news this morning that the US Food and whatever agency has approved the selling and consumption of cloned food products after stating they prove no health risk. The piece then went on to show three cloned dairy cows happily (ok I have no idea how to tell if a cow is happy or not, call it poetic license)popping out cloned milk.

Maybe it’s from watching to many horror movies but this makes me feel vaguely uncomfortable (Do yourself a favour and watch Attack of the Killer Tomatoes , a cinema classic!). Worse news, none of the cloned products are required to be labeled as cloned. Clone lables are not possible because there is absolutely no way at this time to tell cloned meat or products from the “real” thing (Unless they attack, of course).

Speaking of clones, the old dictator is still hanging in there. I guess he has good reason to be concerned about the alternative receptions he may receive upon the final check out. Still he's not lonely, with all and sundry lining up to pay ill deserved respects and media circus to boot. The “he made the trains run on time defence” is certainly getting a good run for its money.

There have been any number of comments (myself included) about legal processes and if they should continue? The question that must be asked is; Does anyone really think anything would come of a legal process? There are just way too many people in powerful positions who owe everything to him and his minions to expect any postive result from the legal process. It’s also too tough an order for a vast percentage of elite's new generation to face up to the fact that mommy and daddies wealth which put them through school was/is severely tainted.

However, Treespotter probably hit the nail on the head when he said

“He should go, one last service to this country, the quicker the better, but the media circus over there was quite simply inappropriate”

I think may have to revise my opinion on the whole matter. What’s done is done and cannot be undone! It was a different and brutal time from which the nation has yet to recover. Far more important and saddening than the old fart passing on, is the daily line up of supposed supporters of democracy and human rights flocking to his bedside. It certainly bodes ill for this country and betrays the heady expectations when the new order fell. It short, it would appear perhaps nothing really has changed.

Does it really matter anymore? There is probably not that much time left to make a difference anyway. The nations natural wealth has been and is squandered on the rich and the elite with very little trickling down to the rest of the nation. It's the way is and apparently the way it always will be.

The years since the fall of the New Order has produced no serious investment in nation building infrastructure, education or human dignity. The time is rapidly approaching when the resources available to pay for those things will have all but disappeared. It is probably already fair to say the majority of the natural resources that should support and provide sustenance to the nation have already been depleted to the point of no return with little to show for pillage.

A strange and perverse view that seems to pervade Indonesia that all will be well if we ignore what we don't like. Does Indonesia really think the world will give a stuff about her once the her corrupt and quick-buck elite has finished raping her forests and plundering her oil and natural minerals? How much time is left, five years? Ten? Certainly not much more.

As usual the shallow thinking, neo-nationalists try and lay the blame everywhere but home and never really address the issues. Yet who are the initiators of the oh so common “Transfer Pricing Rorts” within the export industry? In essence, that’s where you export product say oil, to a fake holding company at a ridiculously low price, thus avoiding paying tax on true value and then if you are really morally scummy, you then sell it back to country you extracted it from are an artifically high price. Cool huh, you get to rip of the common people twice in one day.

Who are the people responsible for the schools to be in the condition they are in, yet have money for new cars at every government department? Who are the people who can find funds to erect gandiose monuments to themselves and various other white elephant doomed to failure rorts (Nuclear Power Anyone?) yet cannot put a fund a health progam to eradicate leprosy? WHo are the people who can find immense funds to erect great houses of dedication to God (Who apparently himself told the faithful he/she needed no such structure) yet cannot provide basic medical services in the same regions?

In a functioning democracy that truly represented the people, would a business and government be allowed to ignore the mudflow situation in SIDOARJO? Perhaps, the only hope would be the creation of a Ministry of Peoples Welfare (sorry, couldn't help myself)

Once upon a time, Indonesia had such an opportunity to forget the past and move on. A new president with overwhelming support of the people was elected to power, and the nation held such high hopes. This "man of the people" who could have used that support to flush the parasites and leeches into the black pages of history where they so rightly belong baulked at the task. Now like so many things, the moment has passed never to return. So unless someone truly great appears in the next twelve months....


Gloomy..yes! It would be a sad reflection on the person who went to SIDOARJO
and not feel somewhat despondent about Indonesia’s future. So I eagerly await to be corrected, perhaps someone can point me to somewhere where real progress is being made or to the hero awaiting in the wings (He/she must be there some where)

Now before Gadget Harry (No you don't get a link, so bugger off!) and others get their collective knickers in a twist about unhappy and miserable expats, I shall endeavour to explain. The stump is very happy with its day to day existence and readily acknowledges the any number of advantages provided by being an Expat in this country. Advantages which are not unlike those enjoyed and exploited by GH and others who by whatever means have made it to the upper rungs of Indonesian Society including the ability to leave should it all fall down. A fundamental point is that just because you have an advantage over others does not mean you should lose the ability to empathise which sadly is all too often the case in Indonesia (If I ignore it, its not there).

SEVEN THINGS OF WHICH I APPROVE

I too have been tagged, although I am really not sure what that means. Am I supposed to push a button? Put one of those @@@<-> wanky sentences that do funny things on my web page? Gee never a geek around when you want one. Although lets be honest, Gadget and Gadget Geeks serve no real purpose anyway (bit like road signs in Indonesia)

Oh Well apparently it’s

SEVEN THINGS I APPROVE OF

1. Cheeky and Forthright Women
2. A fine bottle of PORT
3. BBQ with friends on a hot day
4. Beach Cricket
5. Kangaroos relocating to Queensland (that'll stuff the non aussie rulers up)
6. Long Service Leave
7. Ella Fitzgerald

So I am supposed to send this to someone else or what?..Ok..How about..
Jakartass and Frisco

I don't expect these two newly tagged to partake of the game as bit too low bro for Frisco (really is a cool blog) and ol J has all the worries of the Left Establishment on his shoulders..(very serious people those)..

Have fun and don't forget to support a secularist today

CONGA LINE OF SUCKHOLES

HEY and Happy New Year,

It has certainly started well with the usual Conga Line of Suckholes lining up to lickspittle and farewell a light fingered, morally devoid, semi deity as he shakes off his mortal coil.

As a skeptic, the faithful who proclaim their faith loudest yet display none of the normal compassion found in rational human beings always amaze me. If they truly believe there is a great judgment day coming (without or without virgins as per your myth of choice) then for the vast majority of these ethically challenged, oxygen thieves, death must hold particular terrors. Yesterday, upon hearing the latest news, I could not help but of think of the scene from “Ghost” where black nasty looking shadows claw the evil doer down to the pits of hell upon his death. All things considered it would seem a fair outcome to me. I wonder if the night terrors ever make sleep difficult those responsible for the so called “LAPINDO Mudflow”.

In a stunning display of little has really been reformed in this country since the heady violent and brutal days of 1998, our Conga Line of Suckholes included some of the highest members of today’s government and virtually to a man/woman called on the nation to remember “the good” the little “deity” had done despite his faults. It seems the idea of a government for the people is a concept that really has not caught on yet (or will ever?). No self respecting democrat would be caught within a hundred miles of this particular nasty piece of work (that should have included ex-PM Keating, Australia’s own self proclaimed, self important, piss ant deity)

I guess I must be missing something! The Good?. A nation overflowing with natural and human resources still cannot provide even the most basic standards of living to its citizens after decades of independence. All this human misery courtesy of the said deity, his cronies and his slavering, powerful and corrupt minions who enjoyed and continue to enjoy luxuries and decadence that would embarrass a Roman Emperor hosting the Annual Gay Mardi Gra and Orgy.

Despite the claims by him, his ilk and the newest version of neo-nationalists that Indonesia’s plight is the entire fault of those evil West/Chinese/Singaporeans/Malaysians (and on and on…and on), the plight of the country lies solely at the feet of him and his fellow leeches. If ever a country squandered an opportunity over the last sixty years it is Indonesia. Countries that started from far lower points in their history in the past sixty years are now regional if not world power houses whilst Indonesian Neo Nationalists still try and pedal the “poor bugger me” line whilst lining their pockets with ill gotten gains. Japan, Korea (South not the nutty end), spring to mind of countries that started from a far worse position than Indonesia and without the natural advantages. I would put India in as well but they are on my sh*t list as their cricket team is bunch of whinging, racist morons.

Oh well, it provides good writing fodder. Speaking of writing fodder, expatriates cannot vote in the local elections whitch is a bugger as I already have the t-shirt. Never the less, I want to throw my hat in the ring for current "Mr. Vice" to be the next President. This guy is an absolute hoot and a never ending source of material! Mr Vice demonstrated his insane grip on the democratic process by complaining in China that democracy is bad for business because human rights get in the way (Pesky little peasants). Perhaps we should use..mmmm Russia as an example of the ideal business environment..tee hee. Being multi talented (which in this case means he has the ability to remain upright and not burst out laughing as he says these things), his answer to the tourism crisis in Indonesia was to suggest Arabs come for a holiday, marry an Indonesian Woman for the period of their holiday then divorce and go home free, clear and with the bags empty. Apparently there is a religious loophole (isn’t there always) to be exploited for a quickie marriage and divorce as required.

In closing, it seems today’s sign off can only be in the words of the immortal song “Say Goodbye to it All”


P.S. For treespotter and GJ.. Standby Cricket (The game God watches when she gets too many opposite prayers) Post on the way. In the meantime the best ever cricketing sledge.

Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo Brandes):
"Hey Eddo, why are you so f*cking fat?"
Eddo Brandes: "Because every time I f*ck your mother, she throws me a biscuit..

INDONESIAN INTIMIDATION

Lost one of my favorite reading blogs recently due to a particularly nasty piece of intimidation. Although for most Indonesians, it’s difficult for them to raise a sweat about anything like that. Intimidation and being stomped by the powers that be is just part of their daily lives.

As an example here’s the last three days of my life involving arseholes we meet in our daily lives in Indonesia (and we are the sheltered ones):


1. Going to pick up goods a local outlet, pissing down with rain everyone is soaked. Can anyone load their vehicles. Nope three cars with government plates are parked under the cover at the entrance, whilst their arrogant owners sip coffee and laugh at peasants getting soaked as they are forced to carry their goods out into the rain... PIGS

2. Friend is selling TV, local copper comes around offers 1/3 of the asking price. When offer refused, copper waggles finger under her nose at the same time saying “HATI HATI IBU (Be careful Missus)....THUG

3. Knock on the door on Sunday (why is it, these idiots don’t understand if I don’t know you then don’t come to my front door you ain’t welcome, particularly on a Sunday)..Open the door, two Arab Wannbes “Hey Mister, You pay us to draw homage to Allah in Arabic Script on your Wall outside and later you have no trouble (ok that a loose translation, took me twenty minutes figure out what the parasites were on about)....WANNBES

4. Idiot two blocks down the road builds a car port on the road out the front of his house. Asked the princess regent, how does he do that and get away with it? Answer “Dia Kaya” (he’s rich therefore can do what he likes)....ARROGANT BASTARDS

5. Dispute with local business (they stealing from us). Arsehole comes around threatening staff and then me with the usual “You only Bule (White Prick) I have you deported because I have friends”....CROOK

As a matter of interest, actions on:

1. Walk into coffee shop order a coffee dripping wet and ask in a loud voice, “Who are the arrogant pigs, who own the vehicles outside” (and watch the staff go pale whispering it’s the XXXXX mister)
2. Nothing yet, told her if he rings back give my number
3. Assisted exit from the property
4. Laugh
5. Acknowledged what he said was true, asked him to wait and then came back and gave him his home address and informed him I would be sure to drop in and say goodbye if I was deported and again assisted exit

I can get away with acting like that to a certain degree, I suppose one day I will come undone but not really a bit deal. I will move to another job in another country and another Bule will come and do mine here (Business ethics and education of children ain't a priority).

Just imagine what it must be like for the normal guy in the street, dealing with crap like this day after day, year after year. You can soon understand when the lid finally blows it really blows in a sickening and devastating manner. You have to admire the little guys better men than I putting up with this crap day in day out..

I digress, the point of this post was with my favorite acidic and most interesting blogger gone it was all becoming boring. I have been hunting around for something to liven up the standard Indonesian blog world of Gadgets, Sycophants and Adrian Mole diaries. I think I have found a couple worth further investigation, see below:

GJ Jakarta , an amusing take on Jakarta life, fellow cat hater (which bodes well) obviously culturally well above most as he displays a love of the oval ball.

Also a bloke who runs around by the name of DILLIGAF although he seems to be a refugee from that high society JAKCHAT site.

DUNNO IF I WILL GET TIME TO POST FOR CHRISTMAS …SO MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE !!

P.S .. Did you hear about BENNY THE BROWN NOSE REINDEER…He is placed in the sleigh right behind Rudolph. He can run as fast as Rudolph just can’t stop as quick.

A FOOTBALL IS NOT ROUND

As you know I am a liberal, easy going bloke who is at home with my own thoughts and at peace with the world. It takes a lot to get me to rant and rave BUUUUUUTTTTTTTTT…

The bitch should be horse whipped within an inch of her life and placed in the village stocks for a month and then deported to the worst place on earth or a date with buck toothed, crazy ABB.

Over the top you may think, I can assure you that is not the case. I am sure every reasonable, rational male will agree with me that she should be horse whipped, once I outline the transgressions against the natural order of things.

Prepare to shake your head in woe as I relate this sad tale of perversion.,,

There I was innocently watching the Australian Sports News (beamed by Sat from Australia to ensure sanity amongst its wandering sons and daughters, cast adrift in the wide scary world). When the pretty (but ultimately evil) News presenter stated “Stay tuned for the annual footballer of the year award” Naturally, this raised a puzzled look on my face, the Brownlow had been awarded, as had the Magarey Medals…What on earth, was this bint on about?

Straight after the break, she then launched into a tirade about the = medal being football’s most sought after and went straight to the news clip…..

AAAGGGH,,,
It was BLOODY SOCCER not FOOTBALL you heretic piece of uneducated fluff!

You remember soccer, half a dozen guys who through various accidents have lost the use of exactly half of their appendages run around chasing a round ball. Meanwhile some dodgy crowd straight from the soup kitchens chants monosyllabic incantations to accompany the rioting (seen the film 28 days later, thats live english soccer footage). Well sheeeet…what else are they gunna do there is no scoring. Then after two hours of this, everyone lines up and kicks the ball at some wanker in front of a fish net (or wearing fish nets, I dunno never lasted that long to see it).

In fact upon calm, reasoned reflection, I have decided horse whipping is too good for her and her multi cultural, lesbian, leftist, whale saving, pillow biting, latte sipping, salad munching mates.

THERE’S FOOTBALL (OZ RULES), THERE’S RUGBY AND THERE’S CRICKET..

THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE!

I have not been this angry since JC got to play half back flank for Jerusalem under the Father Son rule in the GRAND FINAL against the Romans.

Please note: regular rants will appear after a suitable period of mourning for the loss of cultural integrity.

THAT'S A BIT RICH

More often than not a common comment received after running any post percieved as negtive towards Indonesia is the inane "If you don't like it here leave" along with assorted abuse. I love enteraining those morons as representing as they do the very tip of masterful debate amongst the xenophobes.

Seriously, no-one who enjoys irony could ever consider leaving Indonesia. A case in point, check out this piece of slapstick printed in the JP today (but better in full here)

"JAKARTA (AFP) - Indonesia's welfare minister and his family, under fire for their company's role in an oozing mud volcano that has displaced thousands, has topped Forbes Asia's 2007 Indonesia rich list, the magazine said Thursday.

Aburizal Bakrie and his family saw their net worth blow out to 5.4 billion dollars this year, up from 1.2 billion dollars in 2006 when they were sixth on the list, according to the title's December 24 edition.

The largest contributor to their wealth gain came from surging stock prices in Bakrie Group's largest holding, coal producer Bumi Resources, it reported.

Bakrie has faced sustained criticism over the role his part-owned company Lapindo Brantas played in triggering the mud volcano in Sidoarjo, East Java, which began spurting in May 2006 during exploratory gas drilling by Lapindo.

While many experts say the company's negligence led to the flow, Lapindo maintains that it was caused by a nearby earthquake.

Some 10,000 victims have been told to accept compensation from Lapindo for their land, with no payout for other losses such as houses and material goods.

Overall, Forbes reported that the 40 wealthiest Indonesians added 18 billion dollars to their combined wealth this year, bringing it up to 40 billion dollars. The country is now home to 11 billionaires, up from seven last year.

Following the Bakries on the Forbes list was pulp, paper and palm oil tycoon Sukanto Tanoto, whose wealth increased from 2.8 billion to 4.7 billion dollars this year. He was in top spot last year.

The ranking of Tanoto, whose largest companies April and Asian Agri own massive plantations both in Indonesia and abroad, comes as his home country hosts an international conference to negotiate a new pact on climate change. (ok, help me I am about to collapse with laughter..Human body can take just so much irony)April, which has a history of clearing virgin forests, has made efforts to green its image, including sending representatives to the conference on Bali.

Deforestation is a major source of the carbon emissions that contribute to climate change.

A new face on the list was Bambang Trihatmodjo, the second son of former dictator Suharto, at number 33 with an estimated wealth of 200 million dollars. He owns 13 percent of media conglomerate Global Mediacom."

This does not even need a rant...Sorry you were saying????

But hey...net worth 5.4billion dollars..Net means after tax right..Wow..Now a serious jouranlist would just have to find out what was really paid in Tax ..wouldn't he/she?.

(so it was a little rant..)


P.S. Sorry about the photo, if anyone finds it offensive or pornographic I will take it down. Just send threatening letters in the usual manner.

FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND VIOLENCE

The Greenstump happens to think that good governance is not a cultural thing or political system thing but rests solely on the shoulders of a Free and Aggressive Press. The notion that any one group of people are more honest than others is a nonsense. However, the fear of exposure will keep many of the nastiest of us on the straight and narrow.

One of the things that continually puzzle me is the way people say with a straight face that a free press exists in Indonesia. It doesn't! Although this has less to do with Government Regulation and more to do with the lack of solidarity amongst journalists. The silence and acceptance when one of their brethren is attacked or threatened (legally or physically)is mystifying to someone brought up on the ideals of a free and aggressive Press Corp.

This lack of support has lead to the Conga Line of Suckholes that currently provide the schloss that passes for news and information in Indonesia...Yeesss Pak...No Pak...Thank You Pak. A quick example, why isn’t the press crawling all over this guy!
It was the world’s worst and most inept explanation for systematic corruption and yet he gets away with it. By the way, I don’t blame the plodders that actually did the deed in the linked video. Your average copper have little choice but to engage in "external" activities just to survive on the official wage not to mention the burden of repaying the entry to the force favours.

Even more of a freedom of speech concern are those who both within and outside the profession that support the suppression of free speech. Their very first plank of treachery to the people is the nebulous claim there has to an absolute responsibility for what is written. What thuggish and dictatorial rubbish!



When it comes to comments on public figures and politicians as the cartoon says “You wear green tights, ya take your chances”. In a democracy, the only way to hold these people accountable is via the press. In regard to this trust, with some notable exceptions, who are regularly left hanging by their brethren when the dark powers move in to silence their critics, the Press fails not only the people but itself.

Spare me the spurious argument that does that mean I support pornography, hate sites etc. A healthy robust reporting community exposes such evils to the light of day where they wither and die anyway. To say otherwise underestimates the readers and insults the public. Libel and slander allegations are generally is just so much floss and the last refuge of the corrupt and evil. Newspapers, Television even blogs become self regulating if allowed to conduct themselves in an environment of free speech rather than one of fear, intimidation and money favours.

It may surprise some that even blog world is self regulating if allowed to be. For instance, a regular blogging Troll happens to state that Greenstump spends a lot of time in a pool of vomit. Slander, not really, the Troll has no credibility and would not be believed by any reasonable person. Should a more respected member of the blog world say that, quite possibly it would be believed. However, continued falsehoods would quickly eat any at the site’s reputation and damage returned would be far more than the slander slung. More to the point a fair and aggressive questioning by others on dubious assertions presented (free from violence and intimidation) would soon relegate the transgressor to the dustbin of the also-rans.

However, all of the above is not the case in Indonesia which remains a scary place for any that step out of line (although difficult to know who drew the line). Even here in good ol Blog World, there is this silly notion that bloggers should not be anonymous(or allowed to be). Whilst, I concur that the very fact you are anonymous (albeit to a certain extent a delusion) detracts from the reputation of your posts for a lot of us its small price to pay for some level of protection from the small minded, the petty and the vindictive.

There is no shortage of nasties who seek to stifle free speech in ALL it's forms and strangely these "throwbacks" to darker times are supported by the most surprising of people. To suggest that there is no risk in commenting on the rich and powerful or even the just plain nasty in Indonesia is to live in a fantasy world of bizarre dimensions.

To subscribe to the notion that a writer who pokes fun and mischief at the powerful, the self absorbed and the egotistical should be held to same standard of proofs required in a court of law is absurd. Even more obscene is the suggestion, that a writer in any forum should expect (or deserve) threats of violence if they annoy someone by what they write in the public interest (whoever small or large their public may be)

Should there be standards, of course there should. As discussed previously a healthy robust writing community will and should self regulate via debate, discussion, ridicule if required. Threats of violence and the suppression of someone’s right to speak, should not be supported by “dollar each way comments” in any shape or form. It’s sad to read such comments by people with the experience to know better because there lies the road to the destruction of their own prepubescent industry.

A SMOKING RANT

Greenstump has been accused of being critical and all over the map. I prefer the term "All over the place like mad women’s shit" but I digress. Then again that’s the whole purpose of a “Rant’ isn’t it? According to the Greenstump Dictionary of barely researched words

“Rant” – To vent ones spleen and cover as many by-standers, innocent or otherwise with said contents of spleen”

Whilst some would say that Ranting not particularly clever where Freedom of Speech and the right to question is fluid, abstract concept despite rather grandiose statements to the contrary. I do have an excuse and a defence for my rants;

SANE Australia (some would say their name alone is a contradiction in terms) says people with mental illnesses
make up nearly 40 per cent of all smokers

Now there’s a defence I can get into..

Oh well that’s all for today, I will write more on the silly concept that Bloggers should not be allowed to be anonymous in Indonesia later..Right now I am ducking out for SMOKE..

“They’re coming to take me away ha ha ..he he..ha ha…Where life is beautiful all time”

CLIMATE CHANGE RANT - OVERDUE

For a country that regularly demonises others as Arrogant (Whose turn is this week anyway? Singapore, Malaysia, Australia…yawn) Indonesia acts at times like a brutish 14 year teenager. The uproar about Malaysia stealing a “so-called” Indonesian song would be “roll around on the floor laughing funny” if it wasn’t so pathetic! Since when did Indonesia show any regard at all for intellectual property rights, particularly in the movie or music arena. Pot this is Kettle over? Want a real challenge, just try and buy original software for your computer in any capital city in Indonesia! Not sure why Indonesia feels so superior to Malaysia anyway, last time it got to knuckles in the sand pit, Indonesia got a bloodied nose.

The sheer arrogance of some recent comments in the local papers and in various blogs demonstrates a very insecure and xenophobic mindset. A classic “letter to the editor” in a major Indonesian Paper today reads “Malaysia doesn’t seem to have any original art, culture, and traditions. All of it has come from Indonesia” A nice piece of paranoid, xenophobic, nationalist claptrap and a typical reaction you will find in most opinion pieces. Besides being just plain nasty, I am sure the Dayaks on the Indonesian side of Borneo will be please to know they contribute nothing in art, culture or traditions (Well if the Malay Dayaks have nothing to offer, then surely the reverse is true).

Personally, I find the outer regions and ethnic groups have far more to offer in traditions, arts and culture than the current dominant ethnic group whose origins are disappearing as transplanted eastern culture (?) threatens to overwhelm all before it. Perhaps its time for some people to grow up a bit and get out of the schoolyard mentality.

Whilst on the topic of arrogance, I am impressed! What size of balls does it take to stand on stage in Bali as a regional leader and declare you are serious about Climate Change and Pollution Issues, when your country is losing a forest the size of soccer field every second? Where over 50% of your population does not have access to clean water? Where your capital city is grid locked and its rivers run/slime black.

Climate Change and Kyoto is also big deal for the new Australian Government (For those that don’t know Australian has a new government and Prime Minister) The diminutive new Prime Minister Ear Wax sent the usual bunch of hangers-on to declare that Australia would sign the Kyoto accords (you know the one where Australia and the US should sign but China, Indonesia and India are not bound to any emission targets). Well talk about well received, as our cross eyed, tax payer funded delegate announced Australia would become a Kyoto signatory!!! Yeaaa Team!!!… Australia got not one, but two rounds of sustained applause. Too bad, it was not mentioned that even if Aliens came and spirited off every single Australian and every single industry, the combined effect on world emissions would be less than 1%...YIPPEE what a save!.Typical Australian Labour Party..long on symbolism short on substance.

Having 10,000(?) UN delegates and hangers swanning around Bali to discuss climate change is just another proof that the UN is the world’s ultimate oxygen thief. If they were serious, they might have considered having the conference in Jakarta or Bangkok or Rio but no fun in that I guess.

Still we get to listen to all the usual crap with no results. The boringly predictable “its all the fault of the US and the developed world” and poor bugger me standard (Yawn) synopsis. The big bad developed world must cut emissions and hand out swags of money to developing (more on that it dubious term in a second) nations, so we can sit on our arses and do nothing but blame someone else for all their troubles. You can almost see some of the regional delegates salivating at the money they will be able to cream off. It’s going to be a good time to be a real estate agent in Jakarta or Singapore, you can just feel that suckered aid money rolling in. Oh nearly forgot, just for laughs, Singapore wants to be considered a Developing Nation as does the UAE.

Well…bugger off!!!

There is huge difference between a developing nation (say Solomon Islands) and a retarded (say ..you guess) nation. Some of these so called developing nations have a simply staggering wealth of natural resources, including a wealth of diverse, clever people and yet their people live in virtual sewers. Climate Warming and Developed Nations have sweet FA to do with your problems. You are (in the majority of cases) not developing nations but nations retarded by thieves and inept leaders.

The only reason these nations have not developed into economic and clean, regional powerhouses is the absolute absence of forward thinking, dynamic and honest leaders and a cowed populace that accepts such losers as leaders. Instead, the poor buggers who scrape to survive in these nations are lumbered (pun intended) with a bunch of short sighted, self important, arrogant (with no reason to be), often murderous, kleptomaniacs as leaders and rest of the world just keeps looking the other way.

This pointing at the US and other developed nations is science at its most blatantly flawed. Even the most basic cost (CO2/Pollution) vs benefit (Infrastructure/Standard of Living) analysis would indicate there is a huge difference between the top three nations and what benefits actually flow to the general populace (Ok to put it plainly..out of the top three, two of you suck the big one and deserve nothing more than a gigantic kick up the arse).

Its time to stop encouraging these delinquent nations and their Harkonnenske Leaders with more cash handouts as a reward for sheer environmental vandalism, Perhaps its time for the grown ups to pour the money back into their own conservation efforts and leave the Barons to wallow in the own filth.. As for the said delinquents, you want to cut down every last stand of forest, you want to live in a permanent yellow haze and drink sewer water..fill ya boots! It’s nobody else’s fault that your rivers run black, your people are subjected to killer floods, your children die young from lack of clean water, You cannot breathe the air in your cities. If you cannot see that, then it’s not really that important anyway because very soon it won’t make any difference.

NEWSFLASH…

How’s this for arrogance. In today’s Jakarta Post, there is a Climate Conference Lift Out and within that an Advertorial (paid for by who, doesn’t say who..you whistle I’ll point). Amongst a wealth of very dubious statements comes this gem

“Experts are convinced that the mud spewing out in Sidoarjo is a natural phenomenon not a result of drilling undertaken by Lapindo Brantas Inc”
(Apparently all the experts come from the Bandung Institute of Technology..mmm .. Weren’t they the geniuses that came up with the dropping concete balls down the hole will fix it?)

And this “Lapindo Brantas has followed up on what constitutes it’s obligations and responsibility”


Thanks JP ..The defence rests but didn’t you feel just a little bit guilty putting that advertorial in the Climate Change and Environment Lift Out?

ENGLISH FOR THE PURE HEARTED

Some Pretentious twits over at INDONESIAN MATTERS (See Side Bar) are getting all hot under the collar about what makes correct Bahasa Indonesian and/or Correct English..Sorry Folks ain't no such thing...
But if you want to see a language at it's best see below, and as for the English Purists.."take the 'ole mad world as 'arf a joke."

XIV. THE MOOCH O' LIFE

This ev'nin' I was sittin' wiv Doreen,
Peaceful an' 'appy wiv the day's work done,
Watchin', be'ind the orchard's bonzer green,
The flamin' wonder of the settin' sun.

Another day gone by; another night
Creepin' along to douse Day's golden light;
Another dawning when the night is gone,
To live an' love -- an' so life mooches on.

Times I 'ave thought, when things was goin' crook,
When 'Ope turned nark an' Love forgot to smile,
Of somethin' I once seen in some old book
Where an ole sorehead arsts, "Is life worf w'ile?"

But in that stillness, as the day grows dim,
An' I am sittin' there wiv 'er an' 'im--
My wife, my son! an' strength in me to strive,
I only know -- it's good to be alive!

Yeh live, yeh love, yeh learn; an' when yeh come
To square the ledger in some thortful hour,
The everlastin' answer to the sum
Must allus be, "Where's sense in gittin' sour?"

Fer when yeh've come to weigh the good an' bad --
The gladness wiv the sadness you 'ave 'ad --
Then 'im 'oo's faith in 'uman goodness fails
Fergits to put 'is liver in the scales.

Livin' an' loving learnin' day be day;
Pausin' a minute in the barmy strife
To find that 'elpin' others on the way
Is gold coined fer your profit -- sich is life.

I've studied books wiv yearnings to improve,
To 'eave meself out of me lowly groove,
An' 'ere is orl the change I ever got:
"'Ark at yer 'eart, an' you kin learn the lot."

I gives it in -- that wisdom o' the mind --
I wasn't built to play no lofty part.
Orl such is welkim to the joys they find;
I only know the wisdom o' the 'eart.

An' ever it 'as taught me, day be day,
The one same lesson in the same ole way:
"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
Fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."

Life's wot yeh make it; an' the bloke 'oo tries
To grab the shinin' stars frum out the skies
Goes crook on life, an' calls the world a cheat,
An' tramples on the daisies at 'is feet.

But when the moon comes creepin' o'er the hill,
An' when the mopoke calls along the creek,
I takes me cup o' joy an' drinks me fill,
An' arsts meself wot better could I seek.

An' ev'ry song I 'ear the thrushes sing
That everlastin' message seems to bring;
An' ev'ry wind that whispers in the trees
Gives me the tip there ain't no joys like these:

Livin' an' loving wand'rin' on yet way;
Reapin' the 'arvest of a kind deed done;
An' watching in the sundown of yer day,
Yerself again, grown nobler in yer son.

Knowin' that ev'ry coin o' kindness spent
Bears interest in yer 'eart at cent per cent;
Measurin' wisdom by the peace it brings
To simple minds that values simple things.

An' when I take a look along the way
That I 'ave trod, it seems the man knows best,
Who's met wiv slabs of sorrer in 'is day,
When 'e is truly rich an' truly blest.

An' I am rich, becos me eyes 'ave seen
The lovelight in the eyes of my Doreen;
An' I am blest, becos me feet 'ave trod
A land 'oo's fields reflect the smile o' God.

Livin' an' lovin'; learnin' to fergive
The deeds an' words of some un'appy bloke
Who's missed the bus -- so 'ave I come to live,
An' take the 'ole mad world as 'arf a joke.

Sittin' at ev'nin' in this sunset-land,
Wiv 'Er in all the World to 'old me 'and,
A son, to bear me name when I am gone....
Livin' an' lovin' -- so life mooches on.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So you think thats offensive

ASSMAD THINKS AUSTRALIANS ARE RACIST..OKDOKIE


How Moses got the 10 commandments







God went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better."



The Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?"



And the Lord said, "They are rules for living."



"Can you give us an example?"



"Thou shall not kill."



"Not kill? We're not interested."




So He went to the Blacks and said, "I have Commandments."



The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Honor thy Father and Mother."



"Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We're not interested."




Then He went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments."



The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said "Thou shall not steal."



"Not steal? We're not interested."







Then He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments."



The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, "Thou shall not commit adultery."



"Not commit adultery? We're not interested."







Finally, He went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments."



"Commandments?" They said, "How much are they?"



"They're free."



"We'll take 10."




There, that should offend just about everybody

KENAPA

Busy today...so just some Kenapas (Why)(ok its a loose translation bear with me)

Kenapa UN Conference on Climate Change is not held in Jakarta

Kenapa UN HQ is not on the WEST BANK (NEW YORK is hardly a trouble spot)

Kenapa Roads in Indonesia have white lines in the middle

Kenapa Walhi cares more about Newmont than the poor buggers stuck in the MUD at Surabya

Kenapa People still buy anything with the Bakrie on it

Kenapa People refer to countries as developing countries when the real word should be RETARDED by corrupt and evil leaders

Kenapa Singapore, UAE get to class themselves as developing countries

Kenapa - It is developed nations problem to bail the retarded (as opposed to fair dinkum developing) nations out of the shit time and again

Kenapa Siti the health minister still has job

Kenapa The Indonesian Government expects us to believe the owner of those smog spewing death trap buses are not paying brides

Kenapa The Japanese need to kill a thousand Whales a year for Research

Kenapa The Japanese Researchers have not won a prize for the being the worlds dumiest researchers (see above)

Kenapa VP Kalla reminds me of the actor in Lord of the Rings (you know the one)

HOUSE PESTS TWO

Along with the God Bothering Neighbours we have another pest problem... CATS thousands of them (ok tens of them). I hate the murdering feral pests, keen on a nice garden, lots of birds therefore feral squalling cats are not a nice nor welcome addition.

So reaching back into childhood memories (small cats aka kittens make the best Murray Cod Bait)I built a snap door trap to capture the pets of Satan. I was about to dispose of the first one..

"Why are throwing that cat in the rubbish bin full of water"

"EER..They like it..it soothes them as they watch the bubbles from the bottom"

Not a good answer..Apparently killing (soothing) a cat brings bad luck to the family and is a absolute no-no...Bugger!

Still anything to keep the peace... and peace shall reign unless the numerous small mounds that appear in the garden every time the CAT PROTECTION POLICE go shopping get noticed.

Still if they are noticed, I might go for the fairy ring defence...don't fight superstitions make up better ones...

SOUNDS OF THE FAITHFUL

"I am not an ATHEIST I just believe in one less GOD than you"


As a secular soul, one of the first things you learn when living in Indonesia is the basic truism of real estate location, location, location is still very relevant. The process is fairly simple, find the house and then drive around looking for the nearest Mosque. The closer the Mosque the less sleep you will enjoy. It also pays to come around and check out the house about the time for the evening call to prayer, hills and valleys can do interesting things with the travel of sound.

Sound (pun intended) a bit culturally insensitive! Not really places like Singapore must have a law of just how loud the Call to Prayer can be and there must be some sort of school for the Prayer Police as they manage to sound somewhat human. Indonesia by contrast just sounds full of wailing cats. A fevered desire to combine the worst public speaking (?) voice with the tinniest, cheapest speakers at full volume seems to be designed to encourage people to pray by pain alone. Worse, some idiot decide their kids playing with the microphone at full volume after prayers are cute. Here’s a tip, the kid leaning back on the plane seat making faces and the kid playing on the microphone is not cute, he’s a brat!).

(To digress, personally I would ban microphones throughout Indonesia as a health hazard! Also will someone please show the PP what the bass knob is for)

So fully armed with the hard earned above experience, the Stump sought out a new abode for us to continue life in Indonesia. Lo, a new abode was found, far from any Mosque (ok then... as far as possible in Indonesia). Come Call to Prayer time AND only muted calls could be heard....AAAH. Cool, signed the deal, moved in...All is Bliss ….UNTIL…

Tuesday Night, 8pm, car after car start arriving next door…Oh no, Christian Gospel Singers until midnight twice a week………..AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

If nothing else you have to appreciate God Delusion’s sense of humour…

ALP WINS, INDONESIA LOSES

AAAGH I was wrong!! The Australian People have elected the Left Wing, Union Dominated Australian Labour Party and as the the Pope said to the Nun when the condom broke.."This can't be good"

Oh well there goes the budget surplus.

The average Indonesian will say that's good thing because that (Ex)Prime Minister Howard was a racist or arrogant along with the other tripe fed to them by morons. The reality is that Indonesia just fell off the Australian radar, ear wax chewing Rudd (The new PM)is a unmitigated Chinaphode and you can bet that China will be the new focus for Australia (Indonesia loses out yet again to China). Worse is yet to come for Indonesia, once the Democrats turf Bush (who every Indonesian loves to hate) all those pesky human rights and trade protection issues are going to come home to roost in a big way.

In the meantime, I am off to check how far the Aud $ has fallen against the USD..there must be some good news this weekend.