Sunday, June 29, 2008

JUDGEMENT DAY AND MONKS

There seems to be an insidious plot to unearth the Greenstump’s devious and hidden dark side and its fun watching all unfold. As far as dark sides go the Stump figures come Judgement Day, the stump won’t even be in the fast lane.

Judgement Day is one of the many dubious pieces of faith that both Christianity and Islam have in common. Now the Stump prefers to think that GOD is the bloke or blokette that lives in those places between ignorance and science. Never the less (always good to have a dollar each way), on the off chance the Stump is wrong, the Stump takes comfort in the Judgement Day Priority line theory.

Come the day in question,

All Powerful Bloke/Blokette, APB for short (You know the merciful one who casts us naughties into the pit of flames or whatever is the cultural equivalent)

APB “Ah Stump nice to see you could make it but we will have to deal with you later”

Stump “Eer APB.. I can explain the hamster and the tape, honest”

APB “Stump are you serious, we won’t get to your pathetic attempts of naughty for another gazillion years. Now did you happen to see that bloody Singing General, an overly rich bastard with mud on his shoes or anyone of those lying sons of bitches who have had the gall to kill, murder and beat in my name.

Stump “Yep over there (what did you expect the stump to say sheesh)”

APB “Ok you sit over there in the waiting room and don’t stick the pages of the Hustler together and I will get to you in another eternity or so. If you see a wacker running around in funny hat and purple dress telling people it’s a sin to use condoms, tell him I am looking for him as well”

POLAR BEARS AND TREES DON'T MIX

If you want some fun reading pop across to see the Polar Bear and Treespotter slugfest. Not withstanding the Bears strange need to “Glass” someone (must be a Bear or Scot thing?)the Stump thinks Tree is on hiding to nothing on this one, Blaming the thieving colonials for all our sins really has not held water since Japan and Korea got up and running after being blown all the way back to the stone age.

Of course, it probably just the cynical Stump, but Stump does find a delightful irony whenever Jakartaite complains about colonialism and the damage and hurt caused imposing a "foreign" culture on others.

Finally, in keeping with the Religous Theme.

The Stump came across this interesting little fact today



LAS VEGAS CATHOLIC CHURCHES ACCEPT GAMBLING CHIPS

THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS , BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.

NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.

SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS..

THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.


THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.


YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING DID YOU?






AND HAS ANYONE SEEN THE STUMP'S HANDPHONE!

1 comment:

Rob Baiton said...

very clever!

Chip Monks