Friday, April 18, 2008

PENIS NEGLECT IS A CRIME

The Stump has been accused in the past by some namby-pamby, tree hugging, nitwits of lacking shall we say intellectual vigour, not to mention some throw backs from the shallow end of the gene pool have been casting doubt on our proud convict origins.

Now normally such bottom feeders are prodded and provoked for personal amusement in the same way a schoolboy burns ants with a magnifying glass (or drowns cats in wheelie bin…aww stop whining..the cats enjoy it, they like to watch the bubbles).

However, a recent incident seems lend some credibility to the lack of intellectual vigour. Read on the for sad and painful tale of woe and a litany of stupid:

Stupid Move 1 – Stump takes up Touch Rugby again after retiring due to age (not that much) and too many knee injuries.

Stupid Move 2 – Stump thinks he is still 20 years of age and manages in a flurry of disconnected leg and arm movement to dislocate a finger.

Stupid Move – 3 Stump agrees to local rememdy of crushed wasps (seriously) and some bizarre cream thingy (actually this is not so stupid, it works like a super charged deep heat cream)

Incredibly STUPID MOVE 4 - Stump goes to urinate behind a tree (as footballers do), forgets about the cream, which is transferred to his family jewels………


HOLY SH****T…… THAT FCKN BURNS….
FLYING DINGO CRAP BATMAN…. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP…


Of course running across a rugby field waving your penis in the air does not bode well for a respectable nick name at the new footy club…..

9 comments:

Rob Baiton said...

So, what's the nickname?

rimafauzi said...

oh wow.. classy entry stump.. real classy.. lol

was the cream made of sambal? if so, I have similar experience.. lol

GJ said...

Now posting a photo of that would make me side with the government's censorship laws!!!
So no longer Greenstump, Burntstump more apt.
Great story made me laugh!!!!!

GJ

PS the cats and the bubbles, great advice now if any kiddies see it I can explain, cheers.

treespotter said...

there must be some award for doing three penis posts in a row.

the last one tho... well, you know...

ROFL

treespotter said...

there must be some award for doing three penis posts in a row.

the last one tho... well, you know...

ROFL

oigal said...

mmm..Yep..better stop the phallic posts or people will begin to change teams..although how anyone could do that in Indonesia (the land of the most beautiful women in the world) is beyond me..

Rima..Sambal ..not sure but at the very least I think so..I still whimper just thinking about it..Similar experience..Make one wonder would that be an erotic or agony post..??

Hey I saw one your blog you like the magnificent Ella.."Live in Berlin" would have to one of the best jazz solo performances of all time!

Rob..The nickname..mmmm let me check if hell has frozen over..perhaps Anon can help must be some research on hell and freezing over

Rob Baiton said...

Gotta disagree with Tree on this one! If you're going to set a record for consecutive posts on penises then you should set the bar high (pun intended)...

I reckon keep posting them! But do tell whether it attracts traffic to the Stump...

I think most of us that have played sport and used a dencorub equivalent product have a story to tell!

Although Rima's story sounds interesting...

johnorford said...

hahaha!

Dilligaf said...

Ha Ha Ha

I remember something similar with the original Deeep Heat except it involved a good arse scratch....

NASA could have considered this action as an alternative method of reaching the velocities required to break free of the earths gravitational pull.