Aaawww bugger it, the Stump's gunna get the usual drongo abuse and threats after the last couple of posts anyway...
Was depressed last night, rang lifeline. Got a call centre in Afghanistan, told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
and one for the girls (Well the Stump has already pissed off the religious nuts..might as well go the whole hog)
Woman in labour, shouting and screaming as usual, "get this out of me, give me drugs".
She turns to the boyfriend and says "You did this to me you ozzie bastard". He replied casually,
"If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse but you said, "F#ck off it'll be too painful",