Previously, I have commented on getting caught in the Indonesian Logic Loops. This is where you start a seemingly innocent conversation that due differences in perception and langauge quickly descend into a bizarre half world of confusion and segments from the book Catch 22“”.
Question: Excuse me, is that the toilet over there?”
Answer: No Toilet here (Tidak ada)
Question: What is that building?
Answer: Oh..Thats the toilet
Question: Huh.. but you said there was no toilet??
Answer: Ya (Betul)
Question: But that is the toilet isn’t it?
Answer: Ya but no key, it is locked
Question: Why is it locked?
Answer: Because no-one uses the toilet
Question: Isn’t that because it is locked?
Answer: Is locked because no one uses it
Question: Giving up) Ok is there another toilet?
Answer: Tidak ada………………tapi.........
Now to be fair, if I had kept my mouth shut at the first “tidak ada” it would have saved everyone a lot of time. Strangely enough the logic loops extend to the corporate world. Jakartassoften seems to be involved in an endless battles with various companies in Indonesia, usually about hand phone bills for non existent hand phones.
Just for a change, yesterday I had a variation on the theme, the Australian Logic Loop. As regularly happens here, my credit card number was stolen (although I still had the card, another card with my number turned up in Europe). However, the great bank god was on the job. ANZ BANK rang me to inform me my card was canceled (terrific, cancel the holiday) and they would send a replacement card.
Sure enough, after four weeks a new card arrives. The card has the ominous sticker “Please ring ANZ to activate this card”. So it begins
Me: (After listening to 25 Mins of inane music) ..Hi, I have rung to activate my credit card
ANZ Girl: Please wait and I will transfer you to the activation center
Me: Aggghh….ten mins of music….transfer ring ring..
ANZ Machine: Hi you have contacted Adam Wilson, I am not in right now please leave a message….Phone goes dead….. (Adam Wilson you are a pr&cK)..
Repeat above steps (30 Mins)
Me: Hi I have rung to activate my card, here is the number
ANZ Guy: Oh sorry, we cannot activate the card as you missed a payment last month
Me: Hang on, you guys canceled the card, therefore I cannot use the net to make the payment
ANZ Guy: You will have to come down to a branch and make a payment
Me: I am 3000km from a branch
ANZ Guy: I cannot activate the card until you make a payment
Me: I cannot make the payment until you activate the card. Look at your screen, payment was made in full every month until you canceled the card
ANZ Guy: I will transfer you to someone who can help….beeeeeeeeeeeeeep.. phone dead (Another Pr#ck)
And so it went on for 7 more calls until finally I got hold of ANZ’s "Debbie". Explained the situation and in less than two minutes, card was activated, payment made and everyone happy (ish).
Debbie... you should be running the Bank not trying to fly with the turkeys.