Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Thats What I Like About Football

Once upon a time you would grow up play for your home district team. In the good ol days teams were based around regions. Nowadays, to start you have to pick a bunch of colours to follow with a passion bordering on obsession. Players are traded and swapped and it would be rare thing to find a player actually living in the suburb he plays for (More and more teams are dropping the geo-centric names in search of a wider supporter base).

Ok base rules.

Scoring: Four Posts at both ends of oval field.

Kick the Ball thru the two center posts = 6 points (also known as a Goal) Near Miss = 1 Point (also known as a...a point)

Tackling = Yep sure can.. Anywhere between Knees and Neck and not from the back

Mark = Clean catch from a kicked ball over 15m away..No one is allowed to tackle you.

Mission = to kick more Goals than the other team over four quarters.

Required Football Terminology

Torpedo, Screw, Punt, Stab, Place, Banana, Check side, Drop = All types of kick.

Hand Pass = Legal way of passing ball by hand (punch the ball with clenched fist from palm of other hand)

White Maggot = Referee (losing its effect since they started dressing in funny colours)

One Eyed Maggot = Referee failing to see the obvious injustices your team is suffering

Mongrel = Dirty Player (other team)

Hard Man = Dirty Player (your team)

"Speccy" = Spectacular Mark (catch)

Sausage Roll = Goal (six points)

Pill = Football

"BALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL" =Holding the ball .. Shouted by the crowd when a player fails to release the ball when tackled

Sheila = Player who plays the game with the attributes of girl (sexist..but hey its football)

Red Hot Go = Valiant effort

Turn the Corner = Make a comeback

TAGHLAY = Take a good hard look at yourself (reapply yourself to the task)

Ok that’s enough to get your started, just follow the crowd and have fun,a detailed knowledge of the rules is not required and even removes a lot of the fun.

For those of you with a more serious desire to learn, you can learn more here

See you at the Bali 9's


indonesia-anonymus (one of 'em) said...

We have never watched this sport before.

One wonders how the commentary would sound:
"Hard man handpasses and screws for a sausage rolls... Sheila stabs before the one-eyed maggot blows his whistle...

Sounds like fun.

oigal said...

Actually thats pretty close.. A "devotee" would make sense of what you just said.

If you are ever interested ABC Asia Pacific (INDO Vision) has a lot of games every weekend look for "AFL" games.. and always always barrack for the Kangas..laugh.

or check out the Jakarta Bintangs website for local games

wendy said...

Dear Oigal,
did you really not know the Kangas are the least popular? ... been away too long? go the DEES!!!
ps. shouldn't you call yourself Ned Kelly? (pic)

oigal said...

Hi Wendy,

Yea I know..there is no accounting for taste and the inherent ability of the human race to be unable to recognise a good thing when they see it.

The "DEE"S" ??????? Must be a bad snow season for demon supporters to be coming out of the woodwork...

wendy said...

Oh PLEASE ..why be so sterotypical! snow yet - but busy cruising in my Toorak Tractor ;)

wendy said...

Oh PLEASE! dissapointing Oigal to think you are sooo stereotypical! ....

No snow yet .... cruising in the Toorak Tractor instead!!!! *grin*

ps. this is a second go - last comment didn't post.

oigal said...

laugh..not talking football today..Geelong kicked our B*tt