Indonesia Likes and Frustrates

THINGS I LIKE DOING IN INDONESIA

1. Scuba Diving some of the best “Drop Offs” in the world ( trick is to find the operator who charges local not Tourist Price);
2. Going for beer at the local. (Where else does the beer arrive cold, and its considered poor service if you have to tap the cap off your own bottle);
3. Driving to work (?) True – Its like a playing a full size video game with surround sound and 360 degree vision;
4. Eating boiled corn at the kaki lima (mobile street stall);
5. Getting trapped in a logic loop conversation due to language differences and culture;
6. Being able to afford to ride up the “pointy” of a plane from time to time;
7. Climbing on plane with the words “FLY IS CHEAP” written on the side;
8. Never having to wear a sweater;
9. Being accepted as part of an ever growing family;
10. Borobudur.
11. Bali sans Kuta




THINGS THAT FRUSTRATE THE H#LL OUT OF ME IN INDONESIA

1. Lazy, Corrupt Officials;
2. Kulit (Skin) Tax;
3. Driving to work (see three above);
4. Getting trapped in a logic loop conversation;
5. Having to travel on planes with the words “FLY IS CHEAP”;
6. Not being able to travel up at the pointy end of the plane all the time;
7. The Indonesian definition of “carry on luggage” (see three 6 above);
8. The disparity between caring for your family and screw you attitude towards everyone else;
9. Illegal Logging;
10. Babies and mothers begging in the street;
11. Bali with Kuta

You will notice some items appear in both lists, just goes to prove: Indonesia is not a place…It’s a state of mind!!

P.S. T/S I was going to put a close up picture of Borobudur but I think there was a belly button visible..grin

Freeport - Easy Dark Green Target

Ah what the hell! Freeport has been in the news of late and made into the Blogsphere a few times, invariably as the BBM (Big Bad Multinational)..Yawn. The trouble with those of the "Dark" Green colour is they tend to be little more than socialists covered with a green mould with a deep hate of all business and development.

Ok a few points before I start.

One.. Development is good!! It gives most of us a lifestyle our ancestors could not even imagine; those who are left out of the cycle are victims of poor government not development per se

Two.. I consider myself a bit of green although of a light green colour, I firmly believe with wealth creation comes time which grants us the ability to think of others instead of day to day survival

Three.. I am not about to get into the politics of Papua. Although very serious (people are dying) as far as I am concerned one issue is economic the other political/national.

There is a huge outcry at the moment to shut down the “EVIL” Freeport. Ok, let’s go along with the shutdown plan, let’s shut down Freeport what are the consequences:

For a start that’s US 1.1 billion dollars the Indonesian Government won't get this year assuming things stay the same as last. Of course, Freeport didn't do too bad either scoring about $350 Million for the years work. Mind you if you read the claptrap around at the moment you would swear the ratio was the other way around.

Obviously the share price will collapse along with the 9.36% of the shares held by the Government.

Freeport employment for just under 20,000 employees not including indirect suppliers and contractors, along with the taxes paid into the Indonesian Coffers will disappear.

Now to pose a few questions:

Would the Indonesian government continue to maintain the Hospital and University once the Freeport financial support disappears?

Closure of the mine, would have what effect on the other international investments in Indonesia?

Can Indonesia really afford to close this mine?

Perhaps some people think, Indonesia should go back to pre-investment days (was there ever such a time?)

Freeport or more correctly Freeport McMoran Copper and Gold have been rightly accused of environmental damage which is no great surprise it’s a mine! Just how bad the environmental damage as compared to benefits to Indonesia as whole is subject of much debate. What to do about it in rational manner is the question that must be answered not irrational calls to close the mine.

There is no doubt that Freeport has become a symbol of the tension between the Government in Jakarta and Papuan people seeking a better deal. It has been alleged current "crisis" has the usual "mysterious figures" in the background. How true?

The fact that the local Papuans seem to have got a raw deal with them carrying the cost of the environmental damage with little of no benefit is not disputed. However, that the local people are getting a "raw deal" is the case throughout the provinces with any number of large income producing projects. The question that must be answered is should the company be held responsible for the policies and laws of the Government of the day or ?
A far deeper issue is the whole policy of equitable sharing of resources in an open transparent manner devoid of corruption is the only way to avoid continuing violence. Surely this is Government responsibility not a company one.

Should Freeport (for instance) start pouring money into the local community via various officials when does a gift become a bribe? Should not the central Government be responsible for the distribution of revenue in a fair and equitable manner (not saying it happens that way, but that it should)?

Ok that’s it for now, I fully expect to get ravaged by Greens seeing red (funny how they change colour so quick). I just think Freeport is an easy target without looking beyond the surface at what really needs to be done and don't forget what happens at Freeport is repeated in any number of provinces every day, so why only freeport at the moment?.

In summary, my view:

Mining along with other development is a necessary evil.

Most regions (including Papua) do not receive a fair and equitable share of the country's wealth leading to a very volatile environment, mining companies are easy but boring targets but they don’t make the regulations

Without the creation of wealth, the environment will always be under threat (hard to care about the survival of the blue bird of happiness when you are starving).

It is the Governments role to regulate companies not companies role to pick up after Governments.

Asylum from Bird Flu

Thanks to Nilk/Leeianne for the cartoon. I really don't think I need to comment on cartoons, more than enough has been said and forgotten over recent months.

Meanwhile, The Jakarta Post
reported that "Indonesia postponed signing an agreement on Australian assistance to fight bird flu with A$10 million of funding.

"This postponement is linked to the granting of the visas," Lalu Mara Satria Wangsa, from the public welfare minister's office, told Agence France-Presse.

"The government has one voice on this," Lalu said, adding that the agreement would be signed when "diplomatic relations are more conducive"."

Why is it the poorest people always pay the biggest price for Politcians stupidity (in all countries)? You can bet should bird flu break out in Indonesia, the connected, the rich and the powerful will have no trouble getting hold of "Tami Flu" tables and good medical assistance. As for the poor they can be secure in knowing they taught Australia a lesson.

One suggestion The Public Welfare Minister's Office might want to consider a name change.

Dingos, Politicians and Asylum Seekers

It appears I severely under-estimated the Indonesian Governments Reaction to the Australian Government's granting of Protection Visas to the Papuan Asylum Seekers. The Indonesian Government has withdrawn its Ambassador to Australia and the more Nationalist Newspapers are having field day. Some of the more bizarre newspaper cartoons depict Prime Minister Howard and Foreign Minister Downer as Dingos (an Australian Native Dog - pictured). I wonder what the reaction would be in reverse (oh that's right, we have seen that).

Personally, I cannot see what other decision could have been “reasonably” expected in democratic country. The rules are fairly simple:
Under The United Nations Convention Relating to the Status of Refugees a refugee is "A person who is outside his/her country of nationality or habitual residence; has a well-founded fear of persecution because of his/her race, religion, nationality, membership in a particular social group or political opinion; and is unable or unwilling to avail himself/herself of the protection of that country, or to return there, for fear of persecution."

The only question is would the Papuan's have a "well-founded fear of persecution" I guess they can only base that on past history (you can come to your own conclusion as well).

I would have to question the withdrawal of the Indonesian Ambassador raising what would have been a minor new item into Major International News. Who on earth plans the government's response to these sorts of things?

BTW, if anyone has knows where the Dingo Cartoons online are, I would love to know.

Kalimantan BOO HOO ?

In my post, Kalimantan (Borneo) WOO HOO. It has been pointed by a number of people that I had my facts to use a crude term "arse-about" with who was purchasing what, in particular reference the Bakrie Empire. Although my point was more about social responsibilty than who bought what, I take on board the comments and offer the following defence.

Now that I was wrong is not uncommon. However, in this case, I have to refer to that Doyen of Business Gossip "Yosef". I don't pretend to know the ins and outs of the Bakrie Empire, but Yosef's comments and those of his readers make very very interesting reading. See the blog in question here.
You can draw your conclusions from someone much more knowledgable then me in these matters

Is it the start of better times for the local people..?

Asylum Seekers

As the blurb says on the top of the blog, this blog is supposed to have some stories from Australia. Therefore, it is only fair to report that Indonesia is angry with Australia (again?..But its ok Malaysia took the last turn). See the details here


In brief..
Foreign Ministry spokesman Yuri Thamrin, said "Indonesia was disappointed and "deeply deplored" Australia's decision, accused Australia of a double standard because it had previously rejected applications from asylum seekers from areas other than Papua".

You have to feel sorry for Amanda Vanstone as the Australian Minister responsible for granting Visas (she is also a cartoonist's dream come true). She was on a hiding to nothing for this one. Disapprove the Visa's and she was a heartless dragon, approve it and she is a double standard hypocrite.

Although the Indonesian/Australian rift should be easy to fix. Indonesia can approve "Protection Visas" for the next 43 Australians seeking asylum and protection and Australia won't say anything

See easy tit for tat and problem solved

BROKE BACK MOUNTAIN TWO

The first "flyer" for BrokeBack Mountain Two has been released and as promised it looks like a doozy. I think for the Indonesian Opening, I will ask IndCoup
to set up his Anti-Anti Porn Bill T-Shirt Stall in the foyer.. Should be a great night!!

Not only would you get to see all those beautiful women but the "little men" would be clutching their hearts as they fall to the ground ...Does not get any better than that.

Oh if only...

Oh.....Do go and see Indcoup's t shirt its breath-taking..literally

PENIS ENVY OR CRYPTIC MESSAGES

I think this counts as a Happy Post.. Someone just sent me a penis today!!..Not a real one (That would be way too much like a perverts Mafia..No finger but penis in a box). No they sent me a picture of one, its big and chocolate (ish) colour.

I am not sure what it all means, random spam? The sender thinks I am one? Or maybe that I need one? Answer to the first..Its been said before. Answer to the second..No thanks this one still works) Very cryptic indeed.

Perhaps its just plain bad luck. My luck has not been so good of late, it could be raining virgins and I would get hit by Heath Ledger (Broke Back Mountain indeed).

Mind you, I can hardly wait for Broke Back Mountain 2, sounds fantastic...

Reminds me of when I first starting going out with the Padang Princess. Naturally a lot of people were curious, usual thing... Where did you meet? What do you see in him/her? etc. Having a mildly crude streak (and hate intrusive questions) I coached the Princess (who at that stage did not speak English with the aplomb she now does). The next time someone asks dumb questions, just tell them "You like me because I have a big dick" Well sure enough the time came, the Padang Princess looked at me. I gave the the stage nod and bold as brass she announces to world "I like Oigal because he is a big dick!!""

has has has has not is..... One word, as people collapse around me laughing ..I still suspect the Padang Princess was not as language challenged as she pretended that night.


Stick around and I will post some details on the upcoming Broke Back Mountain 2

Kalimantan (Borneo) WOO HOO!!

The Indonesian Coordinating Minister for People’s the People’s Welfare Aburizal Bakrie was quoted by the Jakarta Post yesterday as “Proposing a Social Contract for Human Development”

He was then quoted as saying “a charter on human development would require central and regional governments, NGOs and businesspeople to carry out and support welfare programs.”

And “Every human being had basic rights, such as the right to food security, education, health care and safety”You can get the full article here. here

This is fantastic news, Yosef
who is always seems to be a reliable source of news, business and politics, reported the Bakrie family is rumoured to have close links to the recent buy coal mine buyout in Kalimantan worth 3.2 Billion USD.
See Yosef’s recent post People behind Renaissance Capital.

Aburizul has come out and shown leadership from the front. Based on his statements and connections then Kalimantan should soon a model of business social responsibility. Woo Hoo

No more will foreign multi nationals be allowed to exploit Indonesia saying “that’s the way things are done here”. Minister Aburizul will be able to point to his business connections in Kalimantan and say “There, that’s what we call social responsibility” shape up or ship out”. For too long Indonesia has heard words and platitudes but no action now here is the “MAN” with the position, connections and the resources (tons and tons of resources) to make what he says a reality!

I mean it has to happen doesn’t it.?

I am so excited about this, it been a long time since I have been to Kalimantan and longer since visiting the coal town of Sangatta. I do remember the region being dirty and depressing despite the millions in coal extracted every year. (Where did that money go?).

Well it’s going to change now. I can almost hear the new schools and hospitals springing up all over Kalimantan. The dawn of a new age!!!

Way to go Minister, Woo Hoo!!

Little Men Little Minds

Bored and tired tonight so I will just leave a couple a couple of quotes for those sexually inadequate little men who can't seem to stay out of other peoples lives..

"Intelligence is the capacity to receive, decode and transmit information efficiently. Stupidity is blockage of this process at any point. Bigotry, ideologies etc. Block the ability to receive; robotic reality-tunnels block the ability to decode or integrate new signals; censorship blocks transmission."
RobertWilsonn

"Censorship, like charity, should begin at home, but unlike charity, it should end there."
- Clare Boothe Luce

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Had a bit of chuckle today. Taking some time off to read that Prince of Newspapers, the Jakarta Post, A MR/MRS/MISS (whatever) Sierra has written a letter to the editor on the evil habits of Indonesian movie goers. With their catcalls, yahoos, talking etc etc, he had thoroughly miserable time. He also chose the movie "Brokeback Mountain", which was always going to be a hoot to watch in an Indonesian theater.

Poor Sierra doesn't realise that unlike the West, watching movies in Indonesia in Indonesia is most often an inter-active experience. People go to have good time with their friends and relatives, chatting, catcalls and generally having a good time is an obligation. The movie is at best, background for a jolly good social outing.

Not that you can blame Indonesian movie goers. Those who are not fluent in English (and why should they be) have been subjected to years of abysmal sub title translations and censored movies by the Indonesian Censor Board (pictured). The Censor board is infamous for editing movies with no thought given to flow, format or context. One of my personal inane favorites (and forgive the language)was Wesley Snipes yelling "You MotherF@cker" only to be subtitled "Orang Bodoh" (You silly/stupid person) which does not really carry the same impact.

Even after many years here, if I really want to see a movie in the "traditional" (?) manner. I sneak out during a week day morning when the theaters are deserted or and this is the best angle, comes with side benefits. I suggest to the family its time they go and did something fun. Naturally, I cannot go due to urgent work commitments (never said I was an angel and I do play up the working slave angle). I then settle down for 2 hours of movie bliss. Of course, if you time it right and spread a few writing papers around, ensuring you are hard at work when they return.... You achieve the much sought after title "Kasihan" (poor soul), you had to work and we had such a good time". This is your link to pampering for the rest of the day.

So Sierra, my advice go to the movies, enjoy the interactive aspects and absorb all. After all there is always the DVD so you really can get the best of both worlds.

THEM VS US

Well, that was interesting, my last post “Culture of Contempt” which was basically to direct attention to the "Culture of Littering" seemed to morph into a scary movie version of them “them vs. us”.

I am never real happy with a “them vs. us” argument as I am never sure what team I am supposed to be on. Take EXPAT for example are all BULE (white skin) Expats? Is there a time limit? Length of residence? Family Roots? What about the children of mixed race?

Moving on, you can have Philipino or Japanese Expats but they cannot be “BULE” (or maybe nominated BULE like asian whites in apathied South Africa)? A citizen of East Timor working in Indonesia, are they EXPATs or cousins returning to the old country?

Chinese are Expats except when they are born here, then they are accepted as part of the fabric of the country? Does one have to be Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu to be part of the team? Or is it Javanese, Balinese, Sudanese perhaps Papuan? Maybe there is secret points system that I am not aware of. Maybe a second generation, mixed blood, Papuan Christian is entilted to so many opinion points as opposed to???.

Maybe I should I stick to just being a “BULE” , sort of “off white” so should pass there but does that mean I have to:

a. Drink to excess (what if I don’t , can that be overlooked?)
b. Chase underage women (what about the major enthic group that frequents areas like Batam, does this mean they get “BULE” points?)
c. Over Earn (If I don’t do I lose points?)

Maybe I don’t do any of those things does that make me a good Bule or bad Bule (or maybe there is no such thing …)

If I am Javanese and move to Bali/Papua for a job, am I a variation of EXPAT? my culture, customs are as different in that area as any “BULE”. I am obviously there to earn more money than I can at home which is a prime driver for any number of Bule.

Ok that’s it, just a little rant for a Sunday. In reality, I believe that Indonesia’s greatest strength is her diversity. People who try and dictate what makes an particular social or enthic group here are doomed to failure and frustration. Be it Javanese, Sudanese, Chinese, Bule, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Expat, Tourist, all go into the pot and in some way make Indonesian what she is. You can boil the pot all you want but she will still continue to confound, confuse, amaze and tempt you.

P.S. I still don’t know what team I am on…I kinda like it like that.

Culture of Contempt

As mentioned earlier I have been on the "road (and air and sea) over the past few days trying to make living.

By good luck, more than good management, we had time to take a walk through a planned tourist "walk" in the jungle. I admit I sometimes have trouble understanding some apects of Indonesian culture and that would be my fault. I can understand why local people would kill Elephants raiding their food crops or for the couple of extra dollars they can earn selling various bits and pieces of Elephant (Although I do not excuse a government more concerned with what people wear, see and listen to than preserving a world heritage). What I cannot understand is why so many people seem to think it is perfectly acceptable to trash and pollute the very Environment they live in.

The walk through the jungle was highlighted not by the beauty of nature or the potential award wining natural tourist attraction but the endless trails of plastic bottles and mounds of rubbish. Sometime in the recent past funds had been made available to build a pool and some villa (?) units at the base of the “walk” (being a government facility, I can only assume it was done via some grant or other). The pool was green with slime and the piles of rubbish were blowing around in the wind.

My disappointment and frustration was so great, I could not help myself so I asked one of the five workers sitting around smoking “Why is the pool green and why is there so much rubbish lying around? Answer: “Belum Bersih Mister” (Not clean yet). I then had to ask “You not embarrassed at this, this is your country, your home” Answer..Blank Stares.

The sad part is forest tourism is like “money for jam”, people the world over will pay to walk through pristine jungle, and it costs next nothing and is forever renewable. I guess it takes a modicum of thought.

Same thing happens August every year, flag waving, singing, pride in the nation and when it’s all over the people go home whilst the countryside groans under the weight of the rubbish left behind.

I can only assume it’s me and I am missing something in the culture, because I can find no excuse poverty or otherwise to treat your mother land with such contempt.

As a start, I think there is a lot to be said for placing a 500Rp returnable deposit on every plastic drink bottle in Indonesia.

Who? What? Where?

This is not a blog as such, but a couple of questions for all those IT guru's out there. As you can see I recently put up one of those "Cluster Maps" that is supposed record the vast volumes of visits I get (Ho, ho, ok ten or so, its my blog I am allowed to be boring) and where visitors are from.

My questions are:

Are those maps accurate?

If so, who the @@#?, would be reading my Blog in China (or is just some Trojan thingy trying to get in?

I can understand some traffic from Indonesia, I have Jakartass , Treespotter , INDCOUP, who take me to task for some of my more brain dead posts, but China???

I should also note Treespotter had already captured photos of the dreaded TROLLS, so I was a bit late. His latest picture is far more frightening than anything I have..Its something like a British Politician (Kinky lot those brits).




cheers and thanks in advance

TROLLS - TIME FOR A QUICKIE

Hi All,

Back for a day, to catch my breath in the pursuit of the unholy dollar. Trip has been eventful and as always interesting, more on that on the weekend.

But the big news is I have identified the "Troll" with the aid of hidden cameras and keyboard tripwires it was caught (see picture) between making inane comments and beginning the Troll mating ritual. Troll Mating Ritual = "Flying around in ever decreasing circles squealing obscenities until it disappears up its own orifice"

TIME OUT

Hi All,

Seriously busy this week, out and about chasing the almighty $$. I know its not really all that spiritual to be chasing the dollar. But hey as Guru Bob always says "Money cannot buy happiness ..but it does buy a much better class of misery"

In the meantime, may I suggest you click on The Religious Policeman (links on the right). He claims to be a Saudi Muslim, which is subject to some dispute however it is a very well researched and written blog (funny at times as well).

After reading about the Muslim (?) Militants and their crazy ways, have a look at the comments section for the some the Christian Crazies responses ...Mmmm now if there was only a way to get both groups into strait-jackets and one room. They could spit venom at one another all day long and the rest of the human race could get on with living.

Oxygen Thieves

Forget the Anti Porn Bill, what this nation urgently needs is a law against people breathing oxygen and producing nothing of value in return...Don't believe me ..read on

Woohoo..Today's insanity is brought to you by the 34 Members of the Indonesian House of Representatives Commission VII. Who so thoughtfully turned up yesterday to scruntinize (sic) and discuss the $30 Million PT Newmont Minahasa Raya out-of-court settlement for the alleged pollution of Buyrat Bay.

Lo and behold, when they got to the meeting, Jakarta Post (JP) reports that nobody had a copy of the document!!

You have got to love this quote from the JP:

"After spending some 90 minutes arguing among themselves, the 34 members of the House of Representatives Commission VII overseeing the environment decided to postpone the hearing indefinitely until each had a copy of the deal"

It took them 90 damn minutes to realise that nobody had read or had a copy of the document and there was nothing to talk about?

NOT ONE of these valued, hard working, dedicated Representatives of the People actually took the time to source the document and read it before the meeting (although research and thought prior to deliberations has never been a strong point witness the anti-pornography bill)?

How many of the Legislators will claim their "meetings" allowance for this shamozzle?

Mind you, its all a waste of time anyway (as are most of those involved). The settlement is already signed off, sealed and done. Now what will be interesting is how much of the $30 Million goes back to the villagers of Buyrat Bay. Don't hold your breath for the media in Indonesia to follow it up though ok.

I can call it a funny post for its sheer arrogant stupidity and I can laugh or cry (I choose laugh this time). The average Indonesian should be outraged at the sheer waste of space the majority of their elected officials have proven to be. They, who time and again embarrass the nation and its people. Although to be fair, it can be hard to outraged when you are busy wondering where your next feed is coming from or when the next idiot is going to tap you on the shoulder because your t shirt is too tight.

Of course, the actual details of the Newmount case, along with Freeport, KPC all have a very interesting ....mmmm...history later ok

What are they thinking? HP 6

I can only assume its a matter of perspective. Mom and Dad apparently need helmets (albeit plastic helmets but helmets never the less)but the baby will bounce.

So what's funny about this post,

Not the Baby playing "Fear Factor" (oh what they wear helmets on that show..Cowards)!
Not Mom riding side saddle!

No, what's funny is I got pulled over and fined (?..a version there of) for not wearing a seat belt 3 minutes before this shot was taken. Oh well can't say I was not...warned

Safety Safety Safety - Happy Post 6

Just when it was getting desperate, the External Safety Audit guys came to the rescue. What is it with these guys the world over that removes them from reality? Is there some sort of University of Bizarre Consequence on planet Bizarro they all must attend? However I digress..

The Audit was going smoothly with all the usual issues. "Oh that's not good" auditor glancing at exposed bolt 2m up on the wall "Someone could poke themselves with that" ...

Well yea if that someone happen to be Andre the Giant (one for the wrestling fans) or the bolt happened to fall, bounce at right angles to the door..Twist left hit a grassy knoll.... But ok its expected. Then the cruncher:

Auditor - Do you have a Risk Analysis for this equipment?

Answer - Yes here

Auditor - This is bad, it says Risk 1, extremely high risk, you can't use this

Answer - No it says, do not work on internals or remove weather proof covers in the rain or wet conditions

Auditor - So you cannot use this in the rain but it is outside

Answer - No it says you cannot pull it to bits in the rain

Auditor - What if it breaks down

Answer - aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh...Wait

At this stage our friendly liaison guy goes quietly insane whilst his off sider suddenly dashes back with a New Risk Analysis

LG to Auditor - "Wait there is an updated version released this year, its no longer Risk 1 its Risk 2" (handing over the new sheet).

Auditor - Oh good, we cannot have Risk 1 equipment in our operations, what's next...

At this point, I should add, it was the same risk analysis just reprinted off the computer, with the risk score changed from 1 to 2. Further, we will keep using the Risk 1 document because it is not a good plan to strip electrical equipment in the rain as a general rule.

So the went the rest of the Audit..No sure of the final result, we have not got the report back yet, apparently they had a traffic accident on the way home (true)

On another note, The Jakarta Post
had a number of interesting articles and letters today. It would appear that a number of the proposed laws are meeting some resistance.

till next time..Have fun

Harder than it Looks - Happy Post 5

Had I known it was going to be this hard to write ten happy posts in row, I never would have made the statement!! Sheesh so much going on that needs a bit of grumpy outrage:

1. Unbelievable statements by pollies in the JP.
2. Being slashed on another blog
3. Having to read its the woman's fault for being raped due to the clothes she wears (please..What are we Cro-Magnum man?)
4. Internet stalked by a Troll (ok that's actually funny, pathetic but funny)
5 Accused of rushing the happy posts (yep guilty, just got to finish them now)
6 Accused of religion bashing..(absolutely not guilty)

Further, my use of Milo has been brought into question, some clarification is urgently required. Milo is not a small furry dog, but a quasi chocolate drink, excellent hot just before sleeping. Small furry creatures do not figure in my night routine.

Now on with the post, not actually "Happy" more like a good news story. Every so often my company donates goods etc to schools in need. It gives you that warm fuzzy feeling. Well we did it again last week, and whilst feeling all warm and fuzzy I noticed some other new stuff. Where from? That's from "J" he and his wife donate stuff every week.

Further research soon proved, that not only did Mr and Mrs "J" "donate stuff every month" they did it without company sponsorship and from their own pockets. More importantly, I have known J for over three years and never once have I heard about this, Let alone the hundreds J donates every month.

It certainly made me doubt my "warm and fuzzies" I wonder how many other people are out there quietly raising the bar for humanity.

I agree it not happy post but it is a nice story, so I am gunna count it....Besides if I have to be nice and sweet much longer I am going to scream.

TIME TO GROW UP

In the name of transparency, I have to divert from the Happy posts for a minute. I have confession to make ..I have censored (gasp!!) five of seven comments from Clean Expat. As you can see, I left a couple of the more coherent ones (although equally stupid) such as "what a boring post, compared to your other great posts. To long without any mention of beer, whores, and other pastimes"

I really hate to disappoint some people but I don't normally go whoring (sorry well and truly taken, beer? ..I think I bet some one an ale on one post, other past times?..Lots so stick around. In the meantime may I suggest some lessons on the use of grammar and don't use a comma with and etc(If I am saying that, you are really bad!)

Personally, I was always taught that there is only one person who can change your life and that you. Perhaps its time to grow up!

I am not into censorship, but if you want to abuse, contradict or challenge me make it interesting and I promise to publish it (inane crap goes into the every growing inane, childish, crap bin), otherwise start your own Blog and quit pretending to be something you are not.

Now, I am off to hug my princess, check the kids, drink my milo, and other pastimes..kinda boring without the stereotypes huh.

Descended from Apes HAPPY POST 3

Offensive, as I have stated before is subjective. I must admit I am in two minds about posting this picture...Is it Offensive? Is it funny? Is it proper for public viewing? I dunno, so if I get comments that seem to think it should go, then I will delete it. I should add abusive comments from "annoying mouses" will be, as usual treated with all the due consideration they deserve.

I thought the picture was kinda funny and certainly puts theory of evolution beyond doubt.

A more interesting question, would this picture violate the proposed Indonesian Anti-Pornography Laws? Although as usually the case, it would proablably say more about those bringing the charges.

Definately counts as a Happy Post, you don't get that look from sucking lemons!!

Bandung Music - Happy Post 2

The is a quick one but still counts as a happy post..without a doubt one of my favorite places in Indonesia, is BANDUNG as well being central to number of very important turning points in the history of Indonesia, Bandung also seems to churn out any number of music bands of all types.

The next time you hear a band that sounds good anywhere in Indonesia, ask them from whence they came, I will bet you an ale 70% of time the reply will be Bandung .

GOTTA LOVE THE LIVE MUSIC SCENE IN INDONESIA ..A MAJOR PLUS.

GECKOS

Busted again…! Treespotter
has held me to writing ten Happy posts (I lasted all of one post). Although he has made it tough for subjects after ruling out a shedload of subjects with the below comment.

“but there must be something else here but the cheap whores, cheap politicians, cheap laws, cheap golf and even more cheap whores”

This may or may not be a funny post,it starts badly.. There is war on !! I don’t know if it’s that evil “J” word or a Crusade, but I have suddenly become the victim of a hellish mob that threatens my every sleeping moment.

Dang Gecko’s (lizards, I forget the local name) they are mobbing and driving out of my home. Normally, we co-habituate very successfully and ignore one another. They eat the mozzies, each other and anything smaller than themselves and I go easy on the fly spray.
All was well, until an outsider arrived. He (I guess it’s a he, how do you find out? Not a big issue I suppose, unless you are another lizard) was different than the rest, larger (about 14cm), darker and decidedly more pushy.

The little bugger (lets call him Os for short) set up shop in the Kamar Mandi (bathroom) which is just pushing the co-existence thing too far. So re-calling my childhood days, I reached down to grab and evict Os from whence he came. …

Ouch… This is not a shy little gecko, I remember tormenting in my childhood. Not only did he bite but he brought the battle to me. Relocating the battle lines to the bedroom. Ok the truth is, I retreated and was preparing to whimper, when I saw our local smaller geckos all staring me. I suspect the little guys were deciding if this was time to follow the outsider and evict me altogether, dang mob mentality.

Gathering my courage (and a towel) I rushed back into the fray (2 hours later) only to discover Os had a friend..Now I had two of the creatures to deal with, only smarter, nastier and impossible to catch without serious injury!! This required a rethink. Afterall, I do have two showers in the house anyway.

I have decided I will enlist the help of my mate the Monitor Lizard. I have been feeding him eggs for 12 months now in the front yard (yea it’s a pay off but you do what you have to do). There is now a trail of eggs leading to the Kamar Mandi...

Plan A.
Monitor eats the eggs
Monitor ends up in the KM
Monitor gets hungry
Monitor eats Os and his Mate
Monitor returns to his home turf

Plan B
Monitor eats the eggs
Monitor ends up in the KM
Monitor gets hungry
Os and his Mate eat Monitor
I move house..

Update..I just had one of the little guys drop the table whilst I am writing..I hope this isn’t the beginning of lizard version of kamakzi attacks. I see them with little cloth bands around their heads......

BTW ..I am counting this as one happy post )

Just to annoy the TWATS

Thanks INDCOUP

And guess what...... we have seen it and the sun will rise tomorrow..

TWAT

"I've read enough ex-pat blogs to understand that they oppose the anti-pornography laws out of purely artistic and intellectual reasons, of course."

So said Annoying Mouse Well actually no .. I find it offensive that some ignorant, twat thinks he/she has the right to tell what ANYONE what they can or cannot read, write or see.

The other snide point "Annoying Mouse" is trying to make is racist and just plain offensive! Like all of his insecure brethren, he does not debate the issue, preferring to make snide remarks in support of censorship by the insecure few.

I challenge you "Insecure Mouse" Should the picture of the Bali Girls be banned or not (as it would be under the proposed laws)..Easy question yes or no? If yes by what right?

Support Indonesian Culture (all of it)

In keeping with my promise to write nothing but happy posts for ten posts, I am not going to comment on poor sexually insecure little men, with poor education and even less artistic merit. But if you think the above picture is artistic and pleasing to the eye and deserves to be viewed ...I strongly PLEAD/BEG you to go to
FREE SOUL

WHY LIVE IN ASIA

One of the other reasons I like living in Asia, is my Nation of Birth has become just “oh so precious”

Don’t smoke…like anywhere
Don’t Drink…Unless it a nice red wine with Friends (Damn it, I came here to drink not to make friends!!)
No one drinks Coffee….its Latte now (pretentious P#$#Ks)
Airline Hosties are now Stewards or Pursers (Give me a break!)
University Learning is now a life time occupation for some (Get a job will ya)

Its always the Governments or some- else’s fault that I am or my child is a (and you owe me a living):

Bum;
Out of Work;
Criminal;
Drunk;

On another issue, I love the cheap airfares in Asia, as compared to the over protected, bad mannered airlines in most western countries.

Top Ten Reasons to enjoy flying in Asia


1. You can catch a plane and the hostess (yes I said hostess) will be under 50 years of age (If you like over 50 refer QANTAS or BA);

2. You can catch a plane and use a real knife;

3. You don’t have to worry about being late for your flight (every one knows departure times are a guide);

4. Airfares are reasonable, travel is within the scope of most (well most of those who are lucky enough to have a job);

5. If you don’t have a book, you can kill a couple of hours figuring how does a Singapore Girl actually get into that uniform;

6. If you fly from Jakarta to Singapore you have a good chance of doing the security thing backwards!! They security check you as you get OFF in Singapore;

7. On the regional’s, you get to stand on scales with HUGE faces so everyone can see what you weight.(it helps to share);

Sorry could not think of another three…

As a matter of interest, I as far as I am concerned (and each flight is different)

The Top Three Airlines plying the region are:

1. Singapore Air – Smooth, Professional but expensive
2. Thai Air – Friendly, Professional
3. SAS – I know, bizarre choice but staff just so dang pleasant


The Worst

1. QANTAS – Arrogant, sloppy service
2. GARUDA – Planes are getting older and older and that wretched habit of bumping booked passengers if someone more “important” comes along.
3. BA – Just plain dismal


I have heard very good things about Emirates but never flown. I did like Virgin Blue if in Australia, but recently the PC crowd and the unions (you would think they would be happy having driven Ansett out of business) have savaged them for their policy of hiring young cabin crew who can joke and smile.

The old QANTAS crones rule the roost again. You would think being a hostie was young persons job anyway. Lets be honest, if you are still serving drinks at 45 it might be time to move over and give a young person a chance to start moving on a career path without having to climb over your fossilized body.

Feel free to comment of your fav airline, it would be interesting to see what people think

Things We Love About Indonesia

I stand accused of being an Angry Blogger and although one of my visitors friskodude seems to think that is good thing, it has brought home the fact it is often frustration and anger that spurs pen to paper (finger to keyboard). However, there is much to love and to be amazed about in Indonesia and South East Asia. Maybe its time to make another list (don’t groan).

The Top Ten Things I love or amaze me about Indonesia

1. The School Kids on the way to school every morning despite all the trials and tribulations. How do their parents get them looking so clean in their white shirts and Uniforms every single day?

2. The Scuba Diving and pristine ocean environment (Just pray the “powers that be" wake up to what a free and constant resource this is).

3. The absolute joy that can be found when welcomed into one of the Kampungs as a guest (beware the local brew..kicks like a mule), and the old guys seem to love someone choking after drinking the fire water.

4. The need to rely on your own social skills to live in the kampung (no use calling the police for a domestic dispute in Indonesia). Make your bed and lie in it.

5. The lack of bullshizzer PC regulations (as opposed to one state in Australia where they are now talking banning cigarette smoking in your own car..get a life!!).

6. The genuine open welcome given by the vast majority of Indonesian People.

7. The history of Indonesia. (Europe…they give you a run for the money. Its shame it is not taught more in school).

8. Bintang Beer (Nuff said0, The food (love Makan Padang), The Music (Ok not all).

9. The sheer number of pretty girls per square km (I never said I was PC). I must add from a male perspective, I love the way they treat their man as well.

10. Last but not least, Indonesian Newspapers for providing daily quotes and expect people to accept them . They never fail to make you say out loud “He said WHAT!!!!!” (and they do!!). I should add they confuse me as well, I bagged Perspektif Online and they wrote and thanked me?? oh well I just feel bad now...