Sunday, March 05, 2006


Busted again…! Treespotter
has held me to writing ten Happy posts (I lasted all of one post). Although he has made it tough for subjects after ruling out a shedload of subjects with the below comment.

“but there must be something else here but the cheap whores, cheap politicians, cheap laws, cheap golf and even more cheap whores”

This may or may not be a funny post,it starts badly.. There is war on !! I don’t know if it’s that evil “J” word or a Crusade, but I have suddenly become the victim of a hellish mob that threatens my every sleeping moment.

Dang Gecko’s (lizards, I forget the local name) they are mobbing and driving out of my home. Normally, we co-habituate very successfully and ignore one another. They eat the mozzies, each other and anything smaller than themselves and I go easy on the fly spray.
All was well, until an outsider arrived. He (I guess it’s a he, how do you find out? Not a big issue I suppose, unless you are another lizard) was different than the rest, larger (about 14cm), darker and decidedly more pushy.

The little bugger (lets call him Os for short) set up shop in the Kamar Mandi (bathroom) which is just pushing the co-existence thing too far. So re-calling my childhood days, I reached down to grab and evict Os from whence he came. …

Ouch… This is not a shy little gecko, I remember tormenting in my childhood. Not only did he bite but he brought the battle to me. Relocating the battle lines to the bedroom. Ok the truth is, I retreated and was preparing to whimper, when I saw our local smaller geckos all staring me. I suspect the little guys were deciding if this was time to follow the outsider and evict me altogether, dang mob mentality.

Gathering my courage (and a towel) I rushed back into the fray (2 hours later) only to discover Os had a friend..Now I had two of the creatures to deal with, only smarter, nastier and impossible to catch without serious injury!! This required a rethink. Afterall, I do have two showers in the house anyway.

I have decided I will enlist the help of my mate the Monitor Lizard. I have been feeding him eggs for 12 months now in the front yard (yea it’s a pay off but you do what you have to do). There is now a trail of eggs leading to the Kamar Mandi...

Plan A.
Monitor eats the eggs
Monitor ends up in the KM
Monitor gets hungry
Monitor eats Os and his Mate
Monitor returns to his home turf

Plan B
Monitor eats the eggs
Monitor ends up in the KM
Monitor gets hungry
Os and his Mate eat Monitor
I move house..

Update..I just had one of the little guys drop the table whilst I am writing..I hope this isn’t the beginning of lizard version of kamakzi attacks. I see them with little cloth bands around their heads......

BTW ..I am counting this as one happy post )


Anonymous said...

great story. A pity it's so happy. seriously, i'm sure u could write a happy angry story. Most indonesians can or have to, to remains sane.

oigal said...

Yes... But, I think I need to try and give some balance...otherwise people wonder why on earth you stay here.
Trouble is its like all things a million good things are overwhelmed by one bad. That's what sticks in your mind and what you tend to write about (well I do anyway, its one of many character flaws).

clean expat said...

what a boring post, compared to your other great posts. to long without any mention of beer, whores, and other pastimes.

oigal said...

dear oh dear..someone let the immature ones on the net again..