INDONESIAN CHRISTMAS

MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL

Enjoying a rowdy Christmas with loved ones (although as regular readers would know it's sans any overly religious overtones unless you call the festive tree an Idol).

It is timely for the Stump to acknowledge the quiet courage and faith of Christians in Indonesia. The stump always feels a good deal of admiration for the christians, particularly the women who quietly declare their faith by wearing the cross around their necks in form of a usually simple necklace.

Despite the fact, wearing of the necklace exposes those women to harrassment by the ignorant they continue to do so and remain high in the Stump's list of people to respect.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND FOR THOSE NOT IN INDONESIA ..HAVE A RUM FOR US!

long day and stupid taxi drivers

End of long day and a long way from home, so hop into the nearest Taxi. Just my luck.. A talkative taxi driver

“Dari Mana Mr” (Where From) ..

“What Country”

Then it started, the peabrain decided he was going to educate the poor Bule…

"What Mr think of Amrozi? They bad Muslim but it not right to the shoot them, they deserve to be treated honourably (excuse the para-phrasing) ..yah ..yah..yah…"

Mr Bush had shoe thrown at him, it good because he kill Muslims and invade Iraq..yah yah..

In fact it had been too long a day, normally ignore the pig-ignorant drongos but today..

“Listen you fool, Amrozi and his dog mates got better then they deserved, if it was up to me. I would had deposed of them in manner befitting the Deadwood TV series..Feed the mongrels to the pigs, they murdered innocent Indonesians who were just trying feed their families, they deserve no pity, no honour and no more idiots trotting around pretending they were anything else but losers.
As for Bush, where the hell were you and the rest of the numb nuts when Iraq invaded Iran or when Saddam was slaughtering thousand of Muslims every month oh and by the way numb nuts. The death toll in Iraq is about 98% Muslim killing Muslim.

Before you even start about the Palestine issue, go and give a hand to the 11000 people homeless in Surabaya.

Of course, The rest of the trip was stony silence! Stuff him!

Parroting Morons wear you down!

Personally, I think no one should have ever gone into Iraq, for all the parroting of brotherhood, the fact is life is cheap and always will be there.

For all the mindless abuse thrown at Bush and the USA, the reality is the piss ant dictators and failed nations throwing the abuse do far worse to their own people every day.

What is so disappointing over the past few years is the USA began to reach down to their level. The Stump believes its time to stop pussy footing around these idiots and call a spade a spade, for too long too many compromises have been made to appease the ignorant and intolerant. McCain had it right, dump that third world dumping ground for the useless and inane more commonly known as the United Nations and form a League of Democracies and forget the rest.

You want foreign nations out of Iraq, You got it! Less interference..You got it!
Of course, when comes to shouting for help you are on own as well dickwads. the rest of the rational world is tired of ya all.

I'm ok how about you?

Just been informed that Vice Prez Kalla comes from the same Province as the poor little buggers in the previous post..I guess he has been busy telling us all what an Icon and credit to the Nation the Bakrie Boys (and the Head Bakrie.. Minister for People's Welfare are (In fairness, probably a tough sell to the 11,000 plus people forced from their homes).

Ironic..doesn't fit when becomes this pathetic

Now as well all know its still an offence to insult Senior Ministers in Indonesia but who needs to..

INFANT DIES - WHO CARES?

Sometimes it occurs to the Stump that perhaps the posts are overly cynical and sometimes words cannot even begin to convey the revulsion at some of things we see and hear.



THE NEEDLESS DEATH OF AN INFANT

"I lied. I told the driver the baby was just sick. I kept talking to the body as if it was alive, while her aunt who accompanied me sang lullabies, pretending to send her to sleep," Norma said.

John has more here ..

For the nations leaders who let this happen and the nut bag protesters who seem to think that a glimpse of nipple is more obscene than the above, You are a disgrace and one would hope you are wrong about judgement day for your own sakes.

Muslims target the Bundy Bear!

It's enough to make a Bundy Bear cry!

The backwood web-toed, buck toothed, bastard sons of intolerance have had major victory in intruding into peoples lives with the cunningly although incorrectly nick named ANTI-PORN Bill (Bugger all to do with Porn and a lot to do with cowardice and bowing to religious hard line fruit cups)and now it dang near impossible to get a decent drink so you can pretend its all just a bad dream.

Let's see.. that's bare shoulders, yoga, wine..NEXT.........

TIC TOCK.. Tic Tock


The Straits Times (Singapore)

December 13, 2008



A Spirited Bid To Drain Corruption



John McBeth, Senior Writer



THE sign at the Grand Hyatt Hotel said it all: 'Due to the

Shortage of certain beverage products within Indonesia, many

Popular items are unavailable at the present time...This

Predicament is beyond our control and we are communicating with

The concerned authorities to try and resolve this situation.'



The lobby lounge bar in Jakarta's premier five-star hotel had

Run out of Scotch, gin, vodka and all other hard liquor. It is

The same situation, to varying degrees, in many hotels and

Retail outlets across the Indonesian capital - and on the

Tourist island of Bali as well.



The consumption of alcohol, even by only a small percentage of

The population, has always been a lingering issue in a

Muslim-majority nation where beer advertising is treated like

That for cigarettes: The brand name can be used, but not the

Product itself.



But only now is it dawning on drinkers that what they have been

Imbibing all these years had been either smuggled into the

Country or had escaped the full duty because of cosy

Arrangements between importers and the notoriously corrupt

Customs Department.



Finance Minister Sri Mulyani Indrawati's clean-up of the Customs

Department has changed all that, elevating the price for a

Bottle of wine or liquor by 300 to 500 per cent and dissuading

Distributors from buying new stocks.



The result: glum aficionados contemplating barely-drinkable

Shiraz, sky-high whisky prices - and a trouble-weary Bali

Tourist industry trying to figure out what impact this latest

Bombshell will have on its lifeblood.



Previously, two state-owned trading companies, Sarinah and

Perusahaan Perdagangan Indonesia (PPI), were responsible,

Respectively, for importing duty-free and duty-paid alcohol.



But when auditors found PPI stickers on smuggled liquor in

Mid-2006, it quickly became clear that the company was colluding

With Customs in depriving the state of an estimated 2.6 trillion

Rupiah (S$330 million) in duties a year.



PPI lost its licence as a duty-paid importer, which meant that

There were no alcohol shipments between November 2006 and

November last year - a few months after Sarinah was finally

Given the job of performing both functions.



The booze blockade didn't end there, however. Already hit by a

Plunging exchange rate, the 16 designated distributors have been

Willing to buy new stocks at the full duty-paid prices until it

Is determined if they are here to stay.



Banking on past experience, many are hoping the black market

Will eventually return to business as usual. But such optimism

Ignores the fact that, unlike all her predecessors, Dr Indrawati

Is deadly serious about stamping out smuggling and corruption.



Just how much she means business can be seen in this year's

Revenue collection, which is projected to top 535 trillion

Rupiah - a whopping 25.5 per cent jump over last year's takings.



Hotel associations are trying to persuade Dr Indrawati to end

The import quota system and to lower duties for wine and

Spirits, pointing to the harm that soaring prices are having on

Tourism and what they believe will be revenues as well.



No wonder. Top-shelf Johnny Walker Black Label Scotch whisky has

Gone from US$35 (S$52) to US$190. Red Label and other brands

Containing 15-20 per cent alcohol retail at more than US$50 a

Bottle. A bottle of cheap US$5 wine now costs US$20 to US$30.



Previously, more than 60 per cent of the wine came from what

Some call the 'grey market', in which distributors mixed up

Legally and illegally imported bottles as a way of bringing down

Prices.



Now that the government has ended that racket, wine is subject

To 300 per cent duties, including a 150 per cent import tax and

A 40 per cent luxury goods tax, in line with its alcohol content.



The Finance Ministry is not ignoring the outcry. It is now

Studying a simplified system under which importers will be

Charged a specific import tax and excise duty based on volume

Rather than alcohol content - a practice followed in Singapore

And elsewhere.



But alcohol is a touchy subject during a time when hardline

Islamic groups are liable to seize on any issue. Says one

Western trade official: 'Indonesia says it's not a Muslim state,

But every time we try to deal with officials on this they say it

Is very sensitive.'



What makes the issue even more ticklish is that this is election

Time. Anxious to pander to Muslim voters - as they were with the

Unpopular anti-pornography law just passed - politicians are

Hardly inclined to be sympathetic about anything to do with

Alcohol.



Some wine and spirits are still available, but retailers say

Much of these are either counterfeit or suspected to come from

Raids that Customs officers have conducted on outlets stocking

alcohol without the proper stickers.



Local liquor - basically flavoured, watered-down industrial

alcohol - has not been touched in the revenue drive, despite the

fact that manufacturers grossly under-invoice the 10-15 million

cases sold each year.



Like the Grand Hyatt, most major hotels have precious little

stock, with a five-star establishment selling a small glass of

mediocre red for 110,000 rupiah, or 130,000 rupiah when value

added taxes are added on.



Stand-alone bars, which do not have the same overheads, are

generally offering the same glass for about 60,000 rupiah, but

that represents a profit of only 10 per cent - hardly enough to

keep heads above water.



Many customers are switching to beer, with the two principal

brands, Bintang and Anker, seeing an 11 per cent increase in

sales this year in a country that normally consumes only 2.1

litres per capita a year - compared to 135 litres in Australia.

OUTRAGED MUSLIMS OR THE SILENCE OF THE DAMNED

Just a pondering..

Wondering where the outraged Muslims who were protesting, buring buildings and killing people over a cartoon are now? Surely people who claim to represent their religion whilst gunning down poor bloody waiters, hospital staff and drivers are a fair greater insult to their religion than a silly cartoon in a paper 99.9% of the world would never read.

Perhaps the stump is missing the point, at least until we decide if Yoga is allowed for Muslims or not..Then again perhaps its gone past the point where even the most moderate and progressive Muslim voice can be heard anymore.

Is this really acceptable to the "Moderate Muslims" of Indonesia perhaps if truth in advertising exists we will see it on the VISIT ACEH 2009 tourist brochures next year.

HOLIDAYS CAN BE MURDER

Well the Stump and branches have survived another Muslim holy day of sacrifice. Although in Indonesia (and other places) the sacrifices seem to be mainly confined to our four legged friends. By mid morning it appears every Drongo with a few dollars to spare and blunt knife is ineptly and cruelly hacking away at some poor thrashing beasts throat. Now the Stump’s regular readers (both of you) would know that the stump is no limp wrested, mung-bean vegetarian, but the slack jawed grins on these once a year butchers as the poor chosen beast has its life blood hacked out of it is a sight to put your off your steak for at least a week.

The numb-nut apologists for everything in this world will tell you that the knives are sharpened and blessed prior to each use. However, a walk through any village on Idul Adha will certainly disavow you of that quaint romantic, albeit bloody little notion. In a seriously weird "all in the family" bonding thingy, the watching of these poor animals in their death throes is a family affair and fun for all the kids (although looking at some of the kids faces its difficult to see who is more traumatised, the beast or kid). I guess it's a modern version of taking the whole family down to the village square to watch a hanging.

Of course, the Stump must confess a certain amount of bemusement on the whole notion behind religious ceremonies. If the stump has it straight, this story goes.. God appeared to Abraham and commanded him to sacrifice his son. At which point, Abraham naturally agrees to this request (as opposed to the notion, that perhaps it’s time to seek another Omi-Master) and binds his son and prepares to sacrifice him. When… with a due regard to the dramatic, God advises (and the stump paraphrase here for effect) “Ha! It was only a test! You can sacrifice a beast instead”. Well if nothing else, the story proves this particular God dude has a sick sense of humour but we knew that when he made the Arabs and Jews neighbours to see what would happen.

Now, little has been said about what the son thought about his old man hearing voices and being quite prepared to snuff him before his first stolen kiss out the back of McCamels Double Goatee Burgers on the family donkey. One can only assume that the young fella certainly looked askew at the old man the next time he suggested a father son bonding walk in the forest.

It all fairness, the notion is no more bizarre than the almost auto-erotic, cannibalistic rituals carried out by the Catholic Church. Kneel before me and accept the blood of our savior indeed (on a wafer biscuit no less)…

Oh for the straight forward bull fighting of the Spaniards. At least the bull sometimes wins.

Other chuckle-worthy news items this week:

Director General for Land Transportation at the Transportation Ministry Suroyo Alimoeso said Thursday motorists tended to drive at high speeds without heeding safety laws.
He said action was needed to take the ability to break speed limits away from motorists to minimize accidents, suggesting that vehicle engines be modified to limit speeds.
The DG went on to demonstrate his deep and profound understanding of road safety issues by declaring “earlier generations of motorbikes could only travel at 7 miles per hour, or 11.27 kilometers per hour, but that the latest models could reach 250 kilometers per hour.”

And this classic piece of nonsense
"We hope that by 2015, facilities, technology, law enforcement and good, proper driver etiquette can be achieved resulting in a zero percent rate of accidents,”

Fair Dinkum, its hard to believe these wackers can breathe without reminder instructions. The road toll in Indonesia has sweet FA to do with speed but more to do with a seemingly genetic inability to display any semblance of road sense or consideration for other road users and infrastructure that highlights the absolute failure of successive governements to represent the people's interest in any shape or form. You want to cut the road toll, arrest the idiot motorcyclist who insist on passing on the inside, on blind corners and crests (oh arrest and beat the morons who do the previous whilst carrying their six month old baby) and build a road.

As for the zero rate of accidents, could there a more nonsensical statement made in relation to the issue? Once again , one has to question where are the reporters who should be questioning and high lighting the sheer ineptness of these so called peoples representatives. Just for fun and for the sheer silliness of the press release in the Jakarta Post, please go here. It’s worth it for a belly laugh!

Chuckle Number 2 (Although, one wouldn’t be laughing if I didn’t have a escape the country clause in one’s contract)

President SBY signed off on the so called Anti Porn Law declaring that it was the right thing to do as the nation had reached on consensus on the matter.

Really??? With all due respect Mr Prez, perhaps you need to get out more without all them hangers on and lick-spittles. Then again, it is time to pander to the bullies and thugs as there is an election coming up. This is one major victory for the intolerant and nasties.

Third Chuckle..

Expatriates have been subject to "raids" to ensure all their "paperwork" is in order. Personally the Stump does not have issue with this as it is the right of the country to ensure all procedures are followed Although, we would love to know of anywhere we can find out how the $1200USD "Training Fee" per year expats charged has been utilised (Can anyone tell advise?). However, you pompous twits!! A paperwork inspection doesn not give you the right to burst into someones home or office with all the manners of an FPI thug, or expect newtonsque reaction. I loved the scene on metro tv, where the expat wife was beating the cowering official who had tried to force his way into her house. Big mistake o pompous one.. the majority of expats don't cower in fear at the mere sight of a government official, particularly if your paperwork is in order!

CHICKEN LITTLE IS GETTING COLD

This quote raised chuckles at the Stump today

"With very few exceptions, press reporters (and Jakartass..the stump presumes... chuckle) commenting on global warming are either ignorant of the science matters involved, or wilfully determined to propagate warming hysteria because that fits their personal world view

National Climate Centre former head William Kininmonth said coverage of global warming had been hysterical and was getting worse

Once again one can't help but draw a direct line to other cults and religions of the world that rely on dogma and half truths to maintain any sense of purpose in the world. Like the dogma tied, emotional and irrational of all cults, the chanters and malcontents get more hysterical and violent as each advance of science pushes them further into the dark cracks inhabited by pseudo-science and scary stories for little children.

The quotes were taken from the "Australian" newpaper and like the authors, the Stump is not saying there is not a problem but the chicken little approach problem needs some balance. Full article below for your enjoyment or outrage as desired.

"EUROPE is shivering through an extreme cold snap. One of the coldest winters in the US in more than 100 years is toppling meteorological records by the dozen, and the Arctic ice is expanding. Even Australia has been experiencing unseasonable snow.

But the stories about global warming have not stopped, not for a second.

In May last year, The Sydney Morning Herald breathlessly reported that climate change had reduced the Southern Ocean's ability to soak up carbon dioxide, claiming that as a result global warming would accelerate even faster than previously thought.

The story was picked up and repeated in a number of different journals around the region.

But this week the CSIRO suggested the exact opposite. "The new study suggests that Southern Ocean currents, and therefore the Southern Ocean's ability to soak up carbon dioxide, have not changed in recent decades," it said. This time the story got no coverage in the SMH, and was run on the ABC's website as evidence the Southern Ocean was adapting to climate change.

CSIRO oceanographer Stuart Rintoul, a co-author of the study, said it did not disprove global warming and he did not believe its lack of an alarmist tone was responsible for the poor coverage.

But the story is being pointed out as an example of media bias on global warming. Critics argue that the ABC and the Fairfax media are the worst offenders.

ABC board member Keith Windschuttle said yesterday the national broadcaster was in breach of its charter to provide a diversity of views. "The ABC and the Fairfax press rarely provide an opportunity for global warming sceptics to put their view," Mr Windschuttle said. "The science is not settled.

"We are seeing an increasing number of people with impeccable scientific backgrounds questioning part or whole of the story. I don't believe the ABC has been reflecting the genuine diversity of the debate. Under its own act, the ABC is required to produce a diversity of views."

Bob Carter of James Cook University, one of the world's best-known climate change sceptics, said there was no doubt Windschuttle was correct.

"With very few exceptions, press reporters commenting on global warming are either ignorant of the science matters involved, or wilfully determined to propagate warming hysteria because that fits their personal world view, or are under editorial direction to focus the story around the alarmist headline grab -- and often all three," Professor Carter said.

National Climate Centre former head William Kininmonth said coverage of global warming had been hysterical and was getting worse, with a large public relations effort inundating the media with information from the alarmist side."

CLIMATE CHANGE ZEALOTS

One thing about the Rabid Greens, it certainly is a cult to rival the very worst of the zealot religions of the world sans terrorist..Oops Forgot Peta and the veggy brained.

Like all religions, the rabid greens have to be dragged kicking screaming to face reality as facts pile up like so many plastic bags in a Jakarta river. They cling to and shout out the same old hoary chestnuts, flinging insults and abuse about the place like a mad women’s shit.

Let’s deal with some of the most recent flingings:

Flung Shit 1: - Oil will be $200 a barrel by Christmas 2008 and will never fall below $200 again

Truth: Oil is currently $53 a barrel, a dropping daily. Over Supply (!) by mid 2009 will see the price below $45

Flung Shit 2: - Climate Change will see the oceans around Indonesia rise by over 1m within 10 Years.

Truth: - The 10 year statement was first mooted 5 years ago, which means the oceans around Indonesia need to rise in the next five years by ..wait for it..1metre

Flung Shit 3: - The electric car was killed by big oil, GM and …(oh Insert your favourite demon)

Truth: - Electric cars are expensive, limited in range, unreliable and most importantly…LIKE ALL BAGS OF CRAP, IT DON’T SELL!

Flung Shit 4:- Co2 is responsible for raising the earth temperature and we are all gunna die.

Truth:- At best unproven, unfortunately for the rabids, there has been no recorded increase in world temperature since 1998 (1996 according to other studies) in fact some scientists are concerned we may be entering another long term cooling period.

Flung Shit 5: - The Polar Bears are dying

Truth:- There are currently more Polar Bears than any time in the last fifty years (see what happens when you stop shooting the buggers and thats got SFA to do with how hot it is)

Trouble with all this as it is a distraction from the main game and fixing the things that could really make a difference.

Ask yourself which provides better value
1. The self important Climate Change conference in Bali earlier this year and 93 plus government toadies and hangers on travelling to Poland this month for another Climate Change Talk Fest

Or..

2. Spending the time, effort and money on cleaning the disgusting disease ridden cess pools that are marked as rivers in the Nations Capital.

3. How about some clean water for the average Indonesian Family to drink and bathe in?

4. A viable public transport system?


The Stump’s old lefty green sparring partner Jakartass has it the bag though and to the Stump’s mind encapsulates the moldy thinking of the rabid left (backwoods indeed)

Shared transport, be it by a car pool scheme or company bus, rather than being an isolating cocoon as in individual travel mode, could well boost courtesy and communal ties. For example, there's a commuter train from Serpong, some 40 kms outside Jakarta, offering mini-classes and home cooked packed lunches. Such relief from the stress of road rage should surely boost productivity and creativity.

Ok besides the fact only a person seeing cute bunnies in the clouds would equate the local rail system with productivity and creativity. We have all seen how well the car pool scheme works in Jakarta, there is something very wrong with young girls, women with babies and children exposed to the very worst that Jakarta has to offer whilst offering their services (?) as jockeys to the government mandated “three in one” car pool scheme.

You can bet any rabid green plan would be “mandated” because like all zealots, the green mullahs find dissent and free choice rise hives on their very mouldy souls.

Of course, we could take the train for some mini classes and cooked packed lunches. One could only hope:

1. You happen to live in the less than 1% of the country that is served by a rail system
2. The Mini Classes include first aid and triage as a companion to the world class safety record of the current rail system
3. Cut lunches include water of slightly better class than is currently available to 99% of the Indonesian people.

This rabid green fixation on climate change is nothing more than sanctimonious and pretentious masturbation, mildly enjoyable for the individual but of no benefit to society as a whole.

How about we skip the toss and concentrate on things that will really make a difference to the people..for instance…

Fresh Water
Pollution Control
A Viable and safe transport system
And STOP CUTTING DOWN THE TREES IN THE PROVINCES TO MAKE SOME A’HOLE IN JAKARTA RICH.

Next post some practical examples as opposed to cut lunches and mini classes

Hey but the STUMP does owe the rabids a vote of thanks..the $200 barrel of oil scare and the tweenies push for crapola cars that could not get your grandmother to bowls and back at over 30kph has meant I will save thousands on THIS..

LIFE IS A BEACH

If you want to try something away from the crowds, no plastic bags or human waste in the water you could do worse than Western Australia. These pictures were taken in Oct about three hours South of Perth (Ibu Kota).

TAPE WORMS AND OTHER GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS

I bet you thought the evil accountant bastards (EAB) had got me didn’t you?
Fact was lost interest and took a holiday here.



Never the less the EAB have been busy and brought down a number of fine fellows (and fellowettes) in our company before the credit crisis sent these human tape worms into recession (ho ho), but the Oigal lives on…precariously but lives.

Next trick is, now the tape worms that have sacked all the expatriates and over 100 nationals who actually contributed to the company "how to put together a viable management team and production team going forward whilst paying their decidedly acceptable rate of peanuts". Any ideas how to skip over a moron who filters very paper sent to HQ? (On the plus side not one of the stumps direct reports got the bullet, thanks to a very silly and compromising email the chief tape worm sent. Although I have fired that shot and tape worms never forget!)

Its sobering to notice that the world still turned whilst the Stump was engaged in deep level Yoga. So much for the thought that Greenstump was the muse of leaders the world over, bugger!

Still I think the below covers what I have missed?

Obama apparently is the Indonesia Great White Hope?

MUI (Indonesian for NGO for incredibly bizarre and dangerous statements) has decided the nutty Malaysians may be onto something that Yoga is the next great threat to Muslim Youth (The stump still reckons sexually confused, buck toothed Arab Wannbes and Teachers with all the worldly experience tree moss represent a greater threat but hey ignorance is as ignorance does.

SBY and Bakrie boys still in the news every day! Now there’s a modern day miracle. How does that guy still have a job? Things are getting tough for the Minister of Mud. The family company is in a spot of bother with falling share prices and nobody really trusting the information the company is putting out.. go figure! Still if the MM becomes homeless, there is a wealth of people over Surabaya way that can pass on handy hints on living on the street.

Our old friend and Vice Prez Kalla (and the owner of the world’s weirdest moustache) apparently told the world that the Bakrie group of companies is a national asset which proves all those cruel people wrong and short people do have a sense of humour.

Back to the credit crunch, some “trader” got arrested for sending out an email for naming a number of banks that were due to fold in Indonesia. Apparently arrested for spreading lies and panic, that very week one of mentioned banks closed its doors for a number of days for “technical reasons”. Somebody is mucking with the truth and it ain’t the trader one suspects.

In a totally unrelated matter, all sensible stumps are moving everything into US Dollars Hard Currency as fast as possible. Call us 98 paranoid!

Dr Bruce from Bali, Canada dropped in to give us piece of his wit and wisdom. Although the Stump tends to think latte left are much the same as Slinkys (you remember those coiled springs for kids?)..Not practical use but amusing if one falls down the stairs.

Back in the Land of Oz.

Climate Change and Emissions Trading (Ok that’s greenie for TAX FOR IDIOTIC CAUSES) has taken a back seat to the real world for awhile. The news that global warming has not really warmed since 1998, whilst carbon has increased slightly has severely dented the loon raves. Of course, once people realised that that ET was just to be another Labor tax on middle Australia, it became harder and harder for the loony green to reconcile such things as:

Indonesia continues to be the number one destroyer of rainforests in the world and demonstrates no desire to desist (ok they are sending 93 people, junket junkies, hangers on, bludgers (?) to a climate change conference talkfest in Europe. Unless they forget to come back then it cannot be classed as improving the Indonesian Environment).

China spends more on stamping out Tibet than the environment causes every year.

Any wonder rational people are saying PISS OFF!

That’s all for now..see ya soon..

CLIMATE CHANGE & POLAR BEARS

Hey, sorry been a bit busy of late, even had to cancel a trip to save the Polar Bears who were dying due to Global Warming, was very disappointed in that development. All dressed up in the “We love the stump” t-shirt (it’s hot up there now?) and some bugger goes and informs us, “there are now more Polar Bears than anytime in the last 100 years”, oh well seemed like a good idea at the time.

Then on the way back to Stump we were surrounded by pack of greenie, climate cultists (or more correctly a “lather of greenies”) screaming shrilly about dead Polar Bears and shinking Ice Sheets or something (Which is news to anyone venturing into the Southern Icefields this year). Never fear the Stump was released on the promise never to use electricity unless the wind was blowing (Ok the stump was telling porkie pies but no one has ever accused the Cultist’s of being overly bright).

By the way, has anyone seen High Priest Al Gore lately

“Al Gore appears to have taken a break from saving the world, having convinced large numbers of otherwise sensible people that something called “global warming” exists. He can be expected back in short order. Evidence that “warming” has in fact not occurred since 1998 is swiftly becoming public knowledge”

I guess gitting while the gittings good..to one of those not so underwater islands he was talking about maybe?



On a positive note, the family team Hawthorn came through as the underdogs and thrashed those miserable, mangy Geelong Cats in the Australian Rules Football Grand Final, whilst somewhere in the world two mobs of limb impaired drones battled out, yet another coma inducing NIL All draw..yawn!


GO HAWKS!!

(Regular, one eyed and bias support for the shin boners will recommence next year)

FINER ARTS OF COAK SOAKING

The bars are shut (along with the usual sorry we are closed ..please use the side door signs) but that doesn't mean we cannot enjoy some alcohol induced humour.

AUSTRALIAN RULES INTERNATIONAL

The Dubai Dingoes Enforce the Team Uniform



Indonesia Aussie Rules Cheer Leaders..Up There Cazaly!

Where ever the belief exits that "if it don't draw blood then it ain't a sport" so shall Australian Rules Football grow and dominate.. "Paul" commented on the ever growing presence of the sport in the "Sunny Middle East" and quick look at www.worldfootynews.com shows the sport is alive and well in the far flung corners of the world including Indonesia.

Certainly the website pictures depict a fine sense of humour (gotta love the Dubai Boys travelling team uniform and one of the Indo teams "fine set" of cheerleaders (What is the plural of cheer leader..a pride..a set..Stump kinda like a HUG OF CHEERLEADERS").

Rumour has it the next international round robin is due to be held in Bali sometime in Oct 08.

For more information go to World Footy News
(from where we borrowed the pictures) or leave the Stump an email..

Have fun and remember the shirt front is an acceptable response to any religious nutter who wishes to impose his views on you in this "auspicious" month.

SOCCER - DEATH BY DEGREES

Jakartass is one of those soccer tragics..which explains his socialist leanings..Nil all draw being an acceptable outcome for human endeavour..

The Stump however thinks besides being the most boring sport on the planet..(Let's play a game for two hours and play a different game for ten minutes at the end to see who wins..WTF) Soccer Stinks and has proof.

POISIONED MILK (WHO CARES ANYWAY)

Late Mail - Jakarta Post 27 Aug 08

The public has been left guessing whether the (baby milk) formula they buy is contaminated by Enterobacter sakazakii bacteria as the government is refusing to name names as ordered.

It appears word about the Stumps political nightmare team has got out with the Simply Surreal Minister for Health(SSH), Siti Fadilah Supari making a real run for the number one job. SSH made a series of statements today that have left her critics gobsmacked.

SSH LATE MAIL CLASSICS FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT
(unless you have small children or give a damn)

Health Minister Siti Fadilah Supari said Tuesday any announcement naming which (milk formulae -stump) brands had been contaminated would have to wait until the Supreme Court turned down the government's appeal.
The Central Jakarta District Court last week ordered the Health Ministry, the Food and Drug Monitoring Agency (BPOM) and the Bogor Agricultural Institute (IPB) to announce which brands of baby formula had been contaminated in print and electronic media. The court found the three institutions guilty of concealing public information.

The ruling followed a request by lawyer David M.L. Tobing who was concerned for his children's safety after news spread about the IPB research conducted two years ago. The research, carried out from April to June 2006, revealed 22 percent of baby formula samples tested were contaminated by the bacteria, which can cause serious illness, even death, in infants.

Siti, however, said it was impossible to follow the court order because her ministry did not have data on the formula brands.

Followed by ….

"All we have is data from BPOM research conducted this April. Do you want us to make public something that has already been announced?" she added.

Topped off by

Siti said the announcement of the spoilt brands would do unnecessary harm to the formula companies.

Well the Stump can only say, our previous mate, the mud king’s position as Minister for People’s Welfare is seriously under threat.

On closing note.. YOU COULD NOT MAKE THIS KIND OF STUFF UP AND EXPECT RATIONAL PEOPLE TO BELIEVE YOU.

Off into the jungle for a few days..see ya soon

NEW PARTY - INDONESIA

Life as a Manager in Indonesia is at least never dull and simple language/communication difficulties are always fun. This one arrived from one of our senior managers today (University Qualified with Honours in English). The Stump is still deciding whether to seek clarification or just let things pan out and see what happens..

"Okay Boss. Thanks for your info.
Let use see next..."

(BTW That was the sum total of the email text)..


A NEW POLITICAL PARTY SET TO EMERGE?

On the political side of things, with an Presidential Election looming and after giving some thought to the brilliance of Chappy (see previous post). The Stump thought it might be fun to come up with an Indonesia Version of a Political Dream Team only it would be the Nightmare team. The very worst possible combinations to run Indonesia as opinion ed by the Stump and anyone else who care to contribute.

Pres...Awaiting Nominations..(leaning to the Mega One here)

Vice Pres...(Well Little Joe K is a front runner to hold his position, if only for humour sake. Who else as V/prez would declare that democracy is only a means to an end or Indonesian women should consider short term contract marriage to Arab tourists as means to make few bucks and boost tourism.

Health Minister..How could we go past the current beacon of light, with her refusal to release Bird Flu samples to the world health organisation.

Transport and Aviation Minister..Has to be Chappy (see previous post) here's a man with a plan!

People's Welfare Minister..A no brainer, The current Bakrie Brother nominated by the 13000 (?) displaced villagers of the LAPINDO disaster and the editors of the Forbes Rich Uncaring Bastards Magazine.

This is obviously a work in progress, suggestions and nominations welcome. We also need a name for our party (oh and a colour).

Nomination Rules:

1. Nominations must be justified
2. Nominee must be eligible to run
3. Existing government position only

Let the race begin..

EU BANS INDONESIAN AIRLINES

Frankly, the Stump is stunned and amazed at the vicious and nasty guffaws a number of people have made on the net and elsewhere after retired Air Chief Marshal Chappy Hakim (Chappy to his mates), the former chairman of the National Team for the Evaluation of Transportation Safety and Security after he made such a reasoned and well thought out response to the banning of Indonesian Airlines in EU airspace

Didn’t Chappie admit things were a bit wonky? He also quickly pointed out that although airplanes falling out of the sky at rate unsurpassed in the region..ever, that didn’t mean that Indonesia should not be treated with more respect by these EU colonial bastards (This means you Luxembourg, we know about what you do with jugged hare and Ardennes ham..sickos)

The Stump thinks its only fair that some of Marshal Chappy’s more memorable statements get the highlighting they deserve:

"It is undeniable that Indonesia's aviation industry is in a bad condition"

"A lack of discipline, lax licensing restrictions, sloppy management and enforcement of rules, poor education and training within the industry, unauthorized tariffs and the non-existence of a "reward/punishment" system have all contributed to this dire situation"

See, the Marshal is on the case and he has the solution, so stop worrying. Chappy then goes into the technical piece of his discussion

"From the beginning, it was explicitly stated the ban (by the EU) was technical in nature. The EU asked Indonesia not to attempt to get around it with other methods (i.e. by lobbying or diplomatic routes) but with technical improvements. However, "technical" in this case refers to nothing less than a series of activities which must be conducted under the direct supervision of the European Union and evaluated every three months."

What !! Chappy, the Stump is with you all the way! How dare those swine suggest that actual technical improvements be made to ensure the safety of airline passengers everyone knows there are "other" methods..sheesh.

"We can't deny there is a lot of "housekeeping" that needs to be done in order to raise the safety standards of our aviation industry, but the European Union should not have acted in such an unwise and uneducated manner."

Too right Chappy, it’s not like they have any proof that Indonesian airline standards and Indonesia's own internal checks are not sufficient anyway. Well there is that pesky Adam Air report, with what was it ? 120 (or was it 129, the Stump forgets) previously reported faults, but hey that was just one plane…and besides the public would have forgotten about that by now (Maybe not the families but hey). Then there was the Mandela plane (Whatever happened to that crash report anyway?). Garuda?? A mere blip, I am sure we all agree. Anyway, it’s not important, what is important is we ensure everyone knows there is nothing wrong with the Indonesia Aviation Industry coz we say so.

Besides who can argue with the Chappy’s next piece of in your face logic.

"And every day, European aircraft pass through Indonesian airspace (managed by the Indonesian Aviation Authority) to reach Australia and New Zealand. Didn't you say that the Indonesian Aviation Authority does not meet Europe's safety standards"

Right on Chappie!

We should caution anyone not to listen to any of those international pilots who will tell you flying into Indonesian Airspace like walking into a biker bar in a bikini, sooner or later something bad is going to happen. As for the rumour that flying into Indonesia Airspace is second only in stress to flying through central Africa, that’s just them racist colonial mongrels (French, Australians, Italians, Japanese, Malaysians, Koreans, Singaporeans..oh ok the whole world except for us).

Oh Chappy, The Stump just loves your solution to the problem of Aviation issues in Indonesia, simple, to the point and so Indonesian.,

"Go to hell with your Ban!" Really that just says it all. that’ll teach the EU a lesson, no more massive inflow of Indonesian Tourist Dollars into the EU. I bet they are having emergency cabinet meetings right now. Also think of the money we will save not having to invest in any “technical” solutions for our Aviation Industry.

On a completely different issue Chappy, may the Stump enquire; where does one find the compositions for boards of directors and others for various industries? Gee wouldn’t that make interesting reading.

Anyway old friend, the Stump has to go as we have a plane to catch. It is Singapore Air Flight (oops) …..Before the Stump departs, we would like commend you on this thought provoking piece. Would it be possible for you to direct us to the public statements of sympathy and compassion you made to the victims of air crashes in Indonesia? As the former chairman of the National Team for the Evaluation of Transportation Safety and Security as I am sure would have written some moving and compassionate pieces holding such a position of responsibility to the people as you do.

By the way, Chappy have you seen this…this just has to be a plot by dem dang JOOWS… Why these buggers are almost suggesting that the aircraft disasters of 2008 could have be forecast by any marginally competent human being


For the benefit of the Stump's really lazy readers (GJ..who lately is writing less posts than the stump for instance)and the fact Jakarta Post Links wear out in about 48Hrs, the Stump has reproduced the JP article below..(it's a sheer classic of Indonesian Government Official Speak)



EU ban: Colonial mindset
Chappy Hakim , Jakarta | Mon, 08/25/2008 11:17 AM | Opinion

It is undeniable that Indonesia's aviation industry is in a bad condition. The accidents which have occurred in the last five years have exceeded acceptable standards. In almost every airline there are deficiencies that are principle in nature.

A lack of discipline, lax licensing restrictions, sloppy management and enforcement of rules, poor education and training within the industry, unauthorized tariffs and the non-existence of a "reward/punishment" system have all contributed to this dire situation.

Inevitably, because of its international nature, the Indonesian aviation situation attracted the attention of the rest of the world. The ICAO (International Civil Aviation Organization) downgraded Indonesia's national aviation level. Meanwhile, Australia, Japan, Saudi Arabia, South Korea and others undertook their own "clarification" and "auditing" of Indonesia's aviation industry.

In 2007, the government took affirmative steps to remedy this by setting up the National Transportation Safety and Security Evaluation Team (KNKT), and changed key personnel including the Transport Minister, Director General of Civil Aviation and others.

These changes sent shockwaves through the industry as players struggled to raise safety levels to meet the "international standard" (in this case the ICAO regulation).

Recently, a ban was issued by the European Union (July 2007 to be precise). Out of the blue, the European Union banned all Indonesian airlines from entering the European continent, but before conducting any independent audits.

In making its decision, the EU reportedly referred to ICAO findings. However ICAO had not put a "ban" in place themselves, but rather had (sympathetically) offered help and assistance for Indonesia to overcome its safety predicament.

The EU arrogantly stated that Indonesia's aviation standards did not meet its own, and to protect its people it would prohibit Europeans from using Indonesian airlines and forbid any Indonesian airlines from entering Europe.

This was a truly unsympathetic act made by a few individuals in the European Union aviation commission. Indonesian airlines are not allowed to fly to Europe, but European airlines still fly to Indonesia and enter Indonesia's airspace -- which according to the European Union is unsafe. What is going on in their heads?

From the beginning, it was explicitly stated the ban was technical in nature. The EU asked Indonesia not to attempt to get around it with other methods (i.e. by lobbying or diplomatic routes) but with technical improvements. However, "technical" in this case refers to nothing less than a series of activities which must be conducted under the direct supervision of the European Union and evaluated every three months.

Thus Indonesia became the European Union's puppet -- a once-every-three-months toy that nearly served up a free spectacle for the international aviation scene. Truly, these were actions that have shamed Indonesia.

We can't deny there is a lot of "housekeeping" that needs to be done in order to raise the safety standards of our aviation industry, but the European Union should not have acted in such an unwise and uneducated manner.

This situation is truly mind-boggling. For example, if an Indonesian airline bought an Airbus (made in Europe) from France. After completing standard procedures, the plane is registered with a "PK" (official international registration for Indonesian aircraft), and immediately the aircraft is not allowed to enter European airspace. Once again, if Indonesia is deemed to be unsafe and Indonesian airlines are not allowed to enter Europe, how is it that European aircraft are allowed to travel to and from Indonesia every day?

And every day, European aircraft pass through Indonesian airspace (managed by the Indonesian Aviation Authority) to reach Australia and New Zealand. Didn't you say that the Indonesian Aviation Authority does not meet Europe's safety standards?

This is typical of a "colonial mindset", which regards the relationship from a "Master and Slave" perspective. There is no mutual respect, no mutual trust and of course no mutual benefit at all.

In facing this problem, the one and only way for Indonesia to respond is just to say, "Go to hell with your Ban!"

KEVIN RUDD - AL GORE LIGHT

If you are having a bad day it's always worth while to poke a disciple of the Church of Gore.

So for today's three questions for the Climate Change Mungbeans

1. Isn't it true that there has been no increase in global warming in the past decade (at best static, most research has shown a drop)

2. Hasn't CO2 emissions increased by more than 5% in the past decade?

3. How does questions one and two go together?

Of course, Climate Change Hysteria although doing absolutely nothing for the environment makes great copy for Political Wankers with no substance. Check out this piece of tomfoolery with taxpayer money, from the worst Prime Minister in Australia History (Ok..that's a bit much, Gough Whitlam will forever hold that title)

"Productivity Commission head Gary Banks had a go this week at the federal Government's decision to give Toyota a $35 million grant from its green car fund to build a hybrid in Australia, saying it would do nothing to help emissions. The $35 million gift seemed to come as a surprise to Toyota, which made a worldwide profit of about $17 billion last year.

Toyota's president Katsuaki Watanabe admitted at the time: "We are not sure in what way we would like to use that amount."

but there's more...

"Industry Minister Kim Carr cancelled a booked trip to the US to fly to Japan for less than 24 hours specifically to join Rudd in announcing Toyota's green gift."

Thank Buggery and for the environment's sake these morons will only last one election cycle.

GOD MAKES ME DO IT

The FILTH are so predictable, the major religious holiday of the year is coming up (not be confused with "lets kill a goat slowly day"), so all the bars and places of entertainment as regularly haunted by the Stump are being raided and closed down by the local authorities.

Gee, the Stump but can wonder if that has anything to do with annual cash “shakedown” (as opposed to the regular monthly shakedown) to fund the uniformed and suited representatives/protectors (sigh) of the people.

The workplace is simply the same at this time of year, as an ever growing line of uniformed and suited two dollar squeezers arrive to plead, extort, cajole, threaten money from anyone or any organisation they imagine they have power over.

Although the Stump has found the purchase of a $20 voice recorder has certainly stymied the majority (Not All) of the outright thieves and scum suckers. The recorder is left in plain site (Sorry guys, company policy) whenever these “gentlemen..sorry human cankers” turn up in the office to discuss whatever non-existent “problem” that they have found and only they can fix. The Stump remains confused by these scum however, surely they must know the sheer and utter contempt raised in others when they going through these criminal charades.

On a personal note, the Stump happened to be partaking of some well earned, liquid refreshment for purely health reasons when Pak Corrupt Plod arrived (along with an decaying smell of filt) to shut down the place based on some fanciful transgression. He and his walking talking canker cohorts succeeded of course and once again demonstrated the bravery and integrity of the people's guardians as they harassed and humiliated the female staff, who were simply doing their job.

Strangely, apart from puffing up and glowing red, they were not that brave when a number of the regular patrons started to comment on the nature of man that gets his jollies abusing women(probably not the safest or wisest things to do but certainly the right thing).

The Stump is sure God fairly beams with pride at the antics of his believers.

Dili has some more on the quaint traditions of the Religious Holiday here

CHINA VS RUSSIA

Speaking of Big Nasties, the Stump bets more than a few European Nations are thinking "OOOPS.... Maybe we should not have sent that Nasty-Gram to America a few months ago" now that Russia is having demented flashbackS and has the sudden urge to crush/kill/destroy their neighbours again.

Should be a real hoot once China starts really flexing her over sized ego as well..

RING RING...RING

"Hello America..Look, About the arrogance crack and those other things we said...well look we seems have some trouble of here, it appears you weren't worst option after all..Hello...Hello....Is anyone there?"

FREE SCHOOLS

How great is this?

Carl over at Friskodude describes a plan where you buy/fund a entire school in Cambodia for $13000USD. The Stump is a naturally cynical bloke but in this case …one can only hope it’s true!

What a simply fantasic idea and one that Indonesia so desperately needs. Of course the trick would be keeping the greedy, sticky fingers that Jakartass so aptly describes here, out of the pie (Make sure you check out his post on greedy local officials). Still all the Stump can say ..is bring it on.

Perhaps we could have a FAIR DINKUM, PESTA BLOGGER to raise funds for something worthwhile instead of the widget and scam men.

Meanwhile the church of climate change zealots has convinced the Australian Goverment(?)and Prime Minister Krudd to spend $46million to study cow farts for carbon taxation purposes..Lets see $46million/13000 = How many schools? and which might actually make a difference in the world?

Mentally and Uniformly Ignorant

Living in Indonesia, one soon learns what is said is rarely the heart or truth of the matter at hand. For instance; PT Lapindo and its owners and timber pulp companies are deserving of an environmental award or equally and becoming more and more absurd "Indonesia is the home of moderate Islam" (stop laughing this is serious!).

The Indonesian Ulemas Council (MUI) is constantly and wrongly proclaimed to be a moderate organisation. As one of the biggest organisations representing Muslims in Indonesia(so they claim, which like everything else they proclaim is probably more to do with their own inflated view of self importance than actual facts), these bunch of backwater religious bullies continually seem to think they have the right to decide how people should or should not live their lives.

Rob over at the Rab experience has the latest irrational, ignorant bullying bilious outburst from one of these self appointed guardians of darkness and prejudice. From the Stump Pulpit “With children starving to death in the provinces, schools that should would be offensive if used to house animals, perhaps its time the holy ignorant pulled their hands out of their pants and looked around at the real problems the people of this nation have to face every day.”

The Stump will let the readers decide which picture represents the evil and ignorant dark underbelly of the society we live in……..




On the subject of the problems in the provinces, expats tend to live a life apart from the problematical decisions and angst that bubble underneath the surface. So when the Stump and stumpettes notice the gathering and mutterings of the clans, things are getting very ugly indeed…..stay tuned..

By the way, the Stump "borrowed" (Stump hopes they don't mind but if they do please let us know and we will remove it) the Beautiful Bali Picture from baliwww. We have not had time to read through the Blog yet but on the surface a bit commercial but certainly looks worth a bit of time..

Depressed?

Aaawww bugger it, the Stump's gunna get the usual drongo abuse and threats after the last couple of posts anyway...

Was depressed last night, rang lifeline. Got a call centre in Afghanistan, told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

and one for the girls (Well the Stump has already pissed off the religious nuts..might as well go the whole hog)


Woman in labour, shouting and screaming as usual, "get this out of me, give me drugs".

She turns to the boyfriend and says "You did this to me you ozzie bastard". He replied casually,

"If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse but you said, "F#ck off it'll be too painful",

Religion is a disease?

"Faith is one of the world's great evils, comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to eradicate." Richard Dawkins

The Stump notes (yet another) terrorist (aka bunch of low lifes) claiming to represent the "Religion of Peace" (wow has that worn so thin it's see thru)has made a video threatening to blow up planes, trains and buses at the Olympics. You know the deal, murder innocents because I can and then I go to heaven?

What a mistake that is!! There will be virtual avalanche of FATWAH's and condemnation from the rest of the Islamic world.........OR NOT..

Meanwhile do take the time to read some of Richard Dawkins stuff. For the Stump and stumpettes it is certainly more rational than some drongo claiming the West is holding their nation back when 1/2 their population is forbidden to drive or show their face in public.

ARMY BASTARDS

Must be the season for the thugs, bullies and corrupt to come crawling out from their pampered ill-gotten nests?

Up in our neck of the woods it must have been Army (although the vast majority of those in uniform, certainly don’t met the Stump's very high regard for the profession of arms) day yesterday. First we had the two bob thugs wandering into our place of work demanding to "borrow" equipment and then when the Stump returns to his humble place of refuge...

Our little “jalan” (street) has been flooded every day for two weeks with raw sewage spilling out from under a brand new house. Besides a health hazard the house is a grotesque bloody thing as well, the poorly fitted marble columns etc etc).


Anyway enough is enough with raw sewage travelling the length of the road when all the kids both kampung and others play, the Stump and PP decided it was time to seek a remedy (Looking back, it was silly to expect a normal human response by the owner to recify such a problem without being pushed)

Finally tracked down the phone number of the "man' who owns this grotesque eyesore. PP rang him and quite politely (much nicer than the Stump would have been)asked him to fix the problem as it was health hazard and was damaging the road and peoples foundations.

The bastards response:

“I am Army and RT (Village Chief) is friend of mine, don’t make trouble for me”

What a prick!

Never the less PP’s response was beautiful

“You Army! Saya Indonesia juga, tidak takut silahkan masalah kapan bertemu. (I am Indonesian as well, not scared of you, when do you want too meet) ..from there a rant that was too fast too follow but no mistaking the intent.

Upshot of all this, apparently the Stump’s humble abode can expect a visit from the Arrogant Army Bastard this Thursday (and invariably, a couple of his mates because bullies always travel in groups), although unbeknown to him the Stump will be there awaiting him. Will be interesting to see if he is just as brave when not just talking to a woman. Although bet you a dollar to a bucket of pig manure, we get the usual ..yawn…threats to have the Stump deported.

As an ex professional soldier for many years, the Stump detests these bullies in uniform who bring nothing but disgrace to the profession of arms. The very first moral imperative of a soldier must be to the protection and care of his nation’s people. Unfortunately far too many lowlifes view the uniform as means to bully, intimidate and enrich their greedy, needy little selves at the expense of the people.

As for the meeting..stay tuned…

Meanwhile ………BASTARDS

Indonesian Corruption

"All for one and All for me"

Poor old GJ seems to be going thru that period that all expats experience after the thrill of the Batik Shirts (How the hell does he wear those hot sweaty things anyway)and novelty value of everyday lunacy wears off.

Underneath the Batik and the crazy drivers lies the more sinister and corrupt worms that ensure the richest and most diverse country in South East Asia will remain a third world country for generations to come.

See GJ's experiences HERE

... the Stump concurs BASTARDS

MUD AND JEWS AND LOGIC LOOPS

HA HA

Too funny for words if you are a foreigner.. really really not funny if you have to live here.

The government has hailed gas exploration company PT Lapindo Brantas for complying with environmental standards set by the government.

The praise came despite Lapindo's drilling activity in 2006 that allegedly caused a protracted mudflow in the East Java town of Sidoarjo. Three villages have been buried and thousands of families displaced by the mudflow.

See the rest of the joke here and do be sure to see the number of listed timber and pulp companies awarded commendations…

The Stump wonders when (if ever) the Indonesian public will tire of being treated with such utter contempt...Ooops sorry I forgot it’s all the fault of the West and dem JOOWS…(See the Second Article also from last Friday's Jakarta Post).



Lapindo praised despite mudflow
Adianto P. Simamora , The Jakarta Post , Jakarta | Fri, 08/01/2008 7:06 AM | Headlines

The government has hailed gas exploration company PT Lapindo Brantas and several other mining giants for complying with environmental standards set by the government.
The praise came despite Lapindo's drilling activity in 2006 that allegedly caused a protracted mudflow in the East Java town of Sidoarjo. Three villages have been buried and thousands of families displaced by the mudflow.
Lapindo joined a group of 180 companies that earned a blue rating in this year's environmental audit results announced Thursday. Other companies included ConocoPhillips Indonesia Ltd., PT Medco EP, PT Pertamina, PT Lippo Cikarang and PT Kawasan Industri Makassar.
Gold mining giant PT Freeport Indonesia, PT Aneka Tambang, PT International Nickel Indonesia and PT Indo Lampung Perkasa fared slightly worse, receiving the minus blue rating for "doing something for environmental management but not reaching the government's standard".
The audits were conducted on 516 companies voluntarily taking part in the environmental performance rating program popularly known as Proper.
The program rates companies gold, green, blue, blue minus, red, red minus or black according to their performance in controlling air and water pollution, following environmental impact analyses (Amdal) and implementing corporate social responsibility (CSR) programs.
For the first time ever the government presented a gold rating, which went to Bandung-based geothermal firm Magna Nusantara, Ltd. The top award was given for the company's massive energy saving efforts expected to cut up to 60,000 tons of carbon emissions.
A total of 46 companies won trophies for achieving green status, exceeding environmental standards set by the government. They included PT Holcim Indonesia, PT Riau Andalan Pulp and Paper Mill, PT Toba Pulp Lestari, Tbk, PT Newmont Nusa Tenggara, PT Chandra Asri, PT Unilever Indonesia, PT Semen Gresik and PT Indah Kiat Pulp and Paper.
State Minister for the Environment Rachmat Witoelar said this year's Proper reflected better environmental conditions with more companies committed to green operations.
He expressed skepticism, however, that no major company had been given a black label.
"I questioned the Proper auditing team about the validity of the ranking, as some big companies which have come under public scrutiny earned a better ranking," Rachmat said.
A black ranking was given to 43 companies, 13 of them for the second time in a row. The worst of the worst have no water or air treatment facilities and no Amdal documents.
Rachmat said the government would sue the 13 companies for ignoring environmental regulations.


Logic Loops anyone...?

West told to cease meddling in Muslim world

Tony Hotland and Muhammad Nafik , The Jakarta Post , Jakarta | Fri, 08/01/2008 11:54 AM | National

Islamic scholars blamed protracted conflicts in the Islamic world on Western countries and incessant disunity among Muslim nations.
The West's perpetual interference in many Muslim states has resulted in enduring domestic strife within them, they said Thursday on the sidelines of the third International Conference of Islamic Scholars (ICIS) in Jakarta.
The scholars urged Western nations to change the pattern of their relations with Islam in order to end the widespread conflicts.
The three-day international conference, attended by some 300 Muslim scholars from 65 countries, is hosted by Nahdlatul Ulama (NU) -- Indonesia's largest Muslim organization -- and will end Friday after the adoption of several key recommendations.
"The main cause for the chaos we see in Muslim countries is the external factor -- the Western interference. In the 19th century, they exploited and made Muslims backward," senior Iranian Muslim scholar Mohammad Ali Taskhiri said at a news conference.
"Western countries chose to stay put even when we gained independence, meddling in our economic and domestic affairs because they wanted to maintain their presence and exploit our natural resources."
Taskhiri pointed out Iran's nuclear program as an example, saying Western countries continued obstructing its efforts to develop the technology for peaceful purposes.
Said Sulaiman Hassan Qeeeq from Palestine and Ali Mahmoud Hassan from Somalia shared Taskhiri's views, saying foreign intervention rendered the Muslim world powerless to stop internal conflicts.
Hassan Qeeeq said the ongoing hostility between Palestine and Israel was not a conflict of religions but rather one between "the colonized and the colonizers", who were supported by Western powers.
"Islam teaches its followers to live peacefully with non-Muslims. So it's a question of occupation by these powers, not a question of Islam and the Jews," he said.
The Islamic scholars, however, acknowledged conflicts also occurred because of internal problems within Muslim communities.
Mahmoud Hassan said there was no unity among Muslim countries on economic or political views.
"Each of us takes our own path, building a unity in views heavily relying on our own national interests," he said.
He added Muslim governments did not fully support Islamic civil society organizations because of the "influence of foreign imperialist states".
They instead focused on developing the political and economic aspects of their Muslim administrations, Hassan said.
Taskhiri concurred, saying these national interests often hampered efforts to unite Muslim countries, and said such interests were mostly concerned with their relations with Western powers.
He added many Muslim countries were still attracted to their Western counterparts, thus always welcoming everything they had to offer.
NU chairman Hasyim Muzadi said the conference was aimed at finding shared ideas among Muslim scholars about the root causes of conflicts and enabling scholars to view them objectively rather than based on their own personal interests.
"We hope scholars can identify aggressions, and can build a defense system against aggressions," he said.
Hassan Qeeeq said the conference was an event to "declare a clear stance against injustice by the Western world" toward Muslim communities worldwide....

The Stump says the above contains so many bizarre, intolerant and truely logic defying statements its worth nothing more than a deep sigh....

Government Wankers

All the Stump has to say is we bloody well concur!

Dear Mr. Minister,
>
> I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
>
> How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows that I bought a Television Set and Golf Clubs from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.
>
> For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?
>
> My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years. It is on my driver's licence, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966.
>
> Also..would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Audrey, my Father's name is Jack, and I'd be absolutely fucking astounded if that ever changed between now and when I drop dead!!!...
>
> SHIT!
>
> I apologize, Mr. Minister. But I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of all this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fucking address!! What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of mindless Neanderthal arseholes workin' there!
>
> And another thing, look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I can't even grow a beard for God's sakes. I just want to go to New Zealand and see my new granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl). And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
>
> Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city, and get another fucking copy of my birth certificate, and to part with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!
>
> Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day?? Nooooo.. That'd be too fucking easy and makes far too much sense. You would much prefer to have us running all over the place like chickens with our fucking heads cut off, and then having to find some high society wanker to confirm that it's really me in the goddamn photo! You know the photo..the one where we're not allowed to smile?! ...you fucking morons
>
> Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen.
>
> P.S Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone in high-society to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since before 1850! In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor. (You do remember the Eureka Stockade!!) I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army something over 30 years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high security clearances.
> I'm also a personal friend of the president of the RSL.. And Lt General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year.
>
> However, your rules require that I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am; You know.. Someone like my doctor; WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN FUCKING PAKISTAN!!!......a country where they either assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers, and are suspended from the Commonwealth for not having the 'right sort of government.'
>
> You are all Fucking idiots

CLIMATE CHANGE CLUNKERS

Still part of the Church of Climate Change Clunkers, you may wish to reconsider before you meekly hand over another $50 an airticket so QANTAS can promise to plant a tree in outer buggermedeadaztan..

Remember the super cyclones that were coming to destroy the east coast of Australia and wash dem meter maids into the great melt.

Ooops here's a quick graph of cyclone activity of the past 30 years or so...Is it the Stump or is the trend...



Speaking of BUGGER..If will be fun watching the explanations of the below sat pictures which show more Arctic Ice than this time last year (should we mention that they are having the coldest year on record up that way..or is that just teasing the disabled again)



The question remains when can we stop these ineffectual intellectual wanks and start putting some of this wasted money to where it can really make a difference to peoples lives and environment. Things like access to clean water, human rights (hard to give a damn about the blue whale, when the bloke next door wants to burn your house down because your GOD wears a different dress to yours or you are stupid enough to insist that your government is accountable to the people (rather than be elected on the strength of their moustache).

CLIMATE CHANGE HOEEE

Some nefarious malcontent contends that the Stump deals in “Hoeee” in particular in regards to Climate Change. The answer is of course, ABSOLUTELY! The Stump is dedicated to self righteous, sanctimonious, unsubstantiated, self indulgent ranting, so in word

The Climate Change line between fact and fiction is so blurred and misleading means the Green Rabids almost qualify as religious deacons (with all the inherent toss that infers) and why shouldn't the stump join in (Will Smith, Tom Cruise please contact the Stump for details where to donate your gazillions and the Stump shall save your soul).

So in that fine tradition of Stump inspired, self righteous ranting, today’s cannon fodder is those fish in the barrel, more commonly known as the rabid greens and leftists of the world.

The Stump actually pities the rabid greenie, it must be tough to suddenly find after all that fighting, protesting, living in trees, having sex with strange smelling and hairy women and destroying other peoples hard earned property not to mention drinking your own urine that nuclear power may well provide perhaps the only viable salve to an over polluted planet.

A recent study to quantity various nations Environmental Performance Index, or EPI was jointly produced by Yale's Center for Law & Environmental Policy and Columbia's Center for International Earth Science. The study concluded that France is one of the least polluting countries on the planet, primarily because over 75% of its electricity needs are provided by Nuclear Power Plants. Interestingly, nearly all countries with a nuclear power industry scored well on the EPI (ok Russia didn’t, but sinking nuclear subs in the city harbours generally lowers the EPI score, although it makes the fish easier to catch).

What our dear anti nuclear greenies always fail to point out is, a large number of countries with nuclear power provide power to those bludger nations who semi-subsist on the myths of solar and wind energy. Personally the stump finds those nations on a par with those particular nasty people who refuse to have their children immunised. These losers are more than happy for others to take the (granted minimal) risk whilst basking in the protection and comfort that mass immunisation provides.

The Stump was stunned to learn of the obscene amount of subsidies, tax credits and mandatory buy backs that are required to support the “non polluting” options. Buy backs as a matter of interest is where the government mandates an artificially high and unsustainable price that ‘regular’ power utility companies must buy back the excess power on the irregular and odd occasion the wind blows more than usual.

Of course, it always escape the notice of the mungbeans that government subsidies actually means ripping more money out of the pockets out of those who actually work for living. Germany alone spent $6 billion dollars in artificial subsidies on mungbean power and still the European Union failed to meet any carbon emission targets. The Stump cannot help but think how much clean water $6 billion dollars could provide to the worlds poor.

The wholesale embrace of “Nuclear is evil, oil is evil – bio is good” green mantra (Ok you can throw in the odd death to America, kill the joows for a change every so often if you feel the need) has led to the major destruction of rain forests and ruination of millions of hectares of previously productive agricultural land. The resultant escalation of staple food prices and starvation in the worlds poorer regions has come about all in the name of a “greener planet”. Don't expect any sympathy from the Loony Greens however, they are past masters of self denial and unintended consequences.

To be fair, genetically a rabid leftist or greenie requires a very short memory to exist. To drift off topic for a moment, One has to wonder where the Leftists have gone in regard to Zimbabwe or should we say Rhodesia, the left’s support of Mugabe and his ilk was absolute and pathetic in the homage paid to this racist, murdering bastard). I have yet to see any of them tying themselves to public buildings in Zimbabwe "for the people".

Tired of listening to the high pitch whining and screaming from the self - righteous left and rabid greens, the more rational humans are left weary of the Anti US/West mantra regards to the environment with nary a word about the elephant/s in the room. Those elephants go by the name India, China and Indonesia, king polluters all. The significant difference being the pollution and destruction they bring about translates very little in lifting their people out of poverty and despair.

Koyoto was/is a classic example of new age wank supported and rewarded environmental vandals at the same time attempting to beggar the very nations who may actually end up providing the technological solutions to some of our environmental problems.

Like it or not, you do have to love the new religion of “CLIMATE CHANGE". High priest Gore remains the icon of choice and high priest of doom for our rabids, to which none may question. Despite the ever mounting evidence against his film (not documentary, most rational humans would agree that a documentary should be based on fact) of biblical disasters.

The best piece of CC devotee logic is when a devotee is presented with the fact that the world climate temperature has been falling since 2002, that fact is dismissed as a “blip’ and the disaster will continue as normal shortly and just proves the robustness of the model. Now if negative evidence to theory is to co opted to prove the model, what exactly does it take to make the devotees question God Gore and his minions. It does remind one of the back flips and twists all of our major religions have gone though as science exposed their myths and fantasies one by one. Never the less the gullible and weak minded still cling to their dreamtimes and Gods of small spaces, rationalising every discovery into their beliefs rather than face the world on its own terms.

Back to big AL, how many times can we show the same falling chuck of ice, drowning bear or waves washing up on that poor little villager? Problem is five years ago, as we were bombard with the poor villager show we were assured within five years the seas would have risen ½ meter (ok some said 2m but lets not tease the disabled) higher than now…OOPS..hasn’t happened..bugger! That poor villager has probably realised by now and long before the rabids, that it is not a good plan to keep animal cages in areas prone to King Tides.

The Stump also notes that the Rabids tend to brush over the fact that whilst the Artic ice may be retreating, the South Pole ice fields are increasing in depth and spread and have continued to do so over the last ten years (which will kinda bugger up, the rising seas calamity).

Oh the headaches of being a leftist green. Pity them for they need our help.

Oh a couple of other interesting things that fell out of the Yale-Columbia project. On a scale of one to hundred on forest protection, Brazil who has traditionally been blamed as the villain in forest destruction scored 86. Indonesia achieved yet another infamous first and managed a well deserved “0”.

Disclaimer - The above should in no way be read as support for the proposed Indonesian Nuclear Power Plant piece of insanity. A government needs to be able to at least drill a hole in the ground, stops its capital city from flooding every year and killing its citizens or fly a national airline safely before moving onto reasonably technical things like Nuclear Power