CLIMATE CHANGE & POLAR BEARS

Hey, sorry been a bit busy of late, even had to cancel a trip to save the Polar Bears who were dying due to Global Warming, was very disappointed in that development. All dressed up in the “We love the stump” t-shirt (it’s hot up there now?) and some bugger goes and informs us, “there are now more Polar Bears than anytime in the last 100 years”, oh well seemed like a good idea at the time.

Then on the way back to Stump we were surrounded by pack of greenie, climate cultists (or more correctly a “lather of greenies”) screaming shrilly about dead Polar Bears and shinking Ice Sheets or something (Which is news to anyone venturing into the Southern Icefields this year). Never fear the Stump was released on the promise never to use electricity unless the wind was blowing (Ok the stump was telling porkie pies but no one has ever accused the Cultist’s of being overly bright).

By the way, has anyone seen High Priest Al Gore lately

“Al Gore appears to have taken a break from saving the world, having convinced large numbers of otherwise sensible people that something called “global warming” exists. He can be expected back in short order. Evidence that “warming” has in fact not occurred since 1998 is swiftly becoming public knowledge”

I guess gitting while the gittings good..to one of those not so underwater islands he was talking about maybe?



On a positive note, the family team Hawthorn came through as the underdogs and thrashed those miserable, mangy Geelong Cats in the Australian Rules Football Grand Final, whilst somewhere in the world two mobs of limb impaired drones battled out, yet another coma inducing NIL All draw..yawn!


GO HAWKS!!

(Regular, one eyed and bias support for the shin boners will recommence next year)

FINER ARTS OF COAK SOAKING

The bars are shut (along with the usual sorry we are closed ..please use the side door signs) but that doesn't mean we cannot enjoy some alcohol induced humour.

AUSTRALIAN RULES INTERNATIONAL

The Dubai Dingoes Enforce the Team Uniform



Indonesia Aussie Rules Cheer Leaders..Up There Cazaly!

Where ever the belief exits that "if it don't draw blood then it ain't a sport" so shall Australian Rules Football grow and dominate.. "Paul" commented on the ever growing presence of the sport in the "Sunny Middle East" and quick look at www.worldfootynews.com shows the sport is alive and well in the far flung corners of the world including Indonesia.

Certainly the website pictures depict a fine sense of humour (gotta love the Dubai Boys travelling team uniform and one of the Indo teams "fine set" of cheerleaders (What is the plural of cheer leader..a pride..a set..Stump kinda like a HUG OF CHEERLEADERS").

Rumour has it the next international round robin is due to be held in Bali sometime in Oct 08.

For more information go to World Footy News
(from where we borrowed the pictures) or leave the Stump an email..

Have fun and remember the shirt front is an acceptable response to any religious nutter who wishes to impose his views on you in this "auspicious" month.

SOCCER - DEATH BY DEGREES

Jakartass is one of those soccer tragics..which explains his socialist leanings..Nil all draw being an acceptable outcome for human endeavour..

The Stump however thinks besides being the most boring sport on the planet..(Let's play a game for two hours and play a different game for ten minutes at the end to see who wins..WTF) Soccer Stinks and has proof.

POISIONED MILK (WHO CARES ANYWAY)

Late Mail - Jakarta Post 27 Aug 08

The public has been left guessing whether the (baby milk) formula they buy is contaminated by Enterobacter sakazakii bacteria as the government is refusing to name names as ordered.

It appears word about the Stumps political nightmare team has got out with the Simply Surreal Minister for Health(SSH), Siti Fadilah Supari making a real run for the number one job. SSH made a series of statements today that have left her critics gobsmacked.

SSH LATE MAIL CLASSICS FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT
(unless you have small children or give a damn)

Health Minister Siti Fadilah Supari said Tuesday any announcement naming which (milk formulae -stump) brands had been contaminated would have to wait until the Supreme Court turned down the government's appeal.
The Central Jakarta District Court last week ordered the Health Ministry, the Food and Drug Monitoring Agency (BPOM) and the Bogor Agricultural Institute (IPB) to announce which brands of baby formula had been contaminated in print and electronic media. The court found the three institutions guilty of concealing public information.

The ruling followed a request by lawyer David M.L. Tobing who was concerned for his children's safety after news spread about the IPB research conducted two years ago. The research, carried out from April to June 2006, revealed 22 percent of baby formula samples tested were contaminated by the bacteria, which can cause serious illness, even death, in infants.

Siti, however, said it was impossible to follow the court order because her ministry did not have data on the formula brands.

Followed by ….

"All we have is data from BPOM research conducted this April. Do you want us to make public something that has already been announced?" she added.

Topped off by

Siti said the announcement of the spoilt brands would do unnecessary harm to the formula companies.

Well the Stump can only say, our previous mate, the mud king’s position as Minister for People’s Welfare is seriously under threat.

On closing note.. YOU COULD NOT MAKE THIS KIND OF STUFF UP AND EXPECT RATIONAL PEOPLE TO BELIEVE YOU.

Off into the jungle for a few days..see ya soon

NEW PARTY - INDONESIA

Life as a Manager in Indonesia is at least never dull and simple language/communication difficulties are always fun. This one arrived from one of our senior managers today (University Qualified with Honours in English). The Stump is still deciding whether to seek clarification or just let things pan out and see what happens..

"Okay Boss. Thanks for your info.
Let use see next..."

(BTW That was the sum total of the email text)..


A NEW POLITICAL PARTY SET TO EMERGE?

On the political side of things, with an Presidential Election looming and after giving some thought to the brilliance of Chappy (see previous post). The Stump thought it might be fun to come up with an Indonesia Version of a Political Dream Team only it would be the Nightmare team. The very worst possible combinations to run Indonesia as opinion ed by the Stump and anyone else who care to contribute.

Pres...Awaiting Nominations..(leaning to the Mega One here)

Vice Pres...(Well Little Joe K is a front runner to hold his position, if only for humour sake. Who else as V/prez would declare that democracy is only a means to an end or Indonesian women should consider short term contract marriage to Arab tourists as means to make few bucks and boost tourism.

Health Minister..How could we go past the current beacon of light, with her refusal to release Bird Flu samples to the world health organisation.

Transport and Aviation Minister..Has to be Chappy (see previous post) here's a man with a plan!

People's Welfare Minister..A no brainer, The current Bakrie Brother nominated by the 13000 (?) displaced villagers of the LAPINDO disaster and the editors of the Forbes Rich Uncaring Bastards Magazine.

This is obviously a work in progress, suggestions and nominations welcome. We also need a name for our party (oh and a colour).

Nomination Rules:

1. Nominations must be justified
2. Nominee must be eligible to run
3. Existing government position only

Let the race begin..

EU BANS INDONESIAN AIRLINES

Frankly, the Stump is stunned and amazed at the vicious and nasty guffaws a number of people have made on the net and elsewhere after retired Air Chief Marshal Chappy Hakim (Chappy to his mates), the former chairman of the National Team for the Evaluation of Transportation Safety and Security after he made such a reasoned and well thought out response to the banning of Indonesian Airlines in EU airspace

Didn’t Chappie admit things were a bit wonky? He also quickly pointed out that although airplanes falling out of the sky at rate unsurpassed in the region..ever, that didn’t mean that Indonesia should not be treated with more respect by these EU colonial bastards (This means you Luxembourg, we know about what you do with jugged hare and Ardennes ham..sickos)

The Stump thinks its only fair that some of Marshal Chappy’s more memorable statements get the highlighting they deserve:

"It is undeniable that Indonesia's aviation industry is in a bad condition"

"A lack of discipline, lax licensing restrictions, sloppy management and enforcement of rules, poor education and training within the industry, unauthorized tariffs and the non-existence of a "reward/punishment" system have all contributed to this dire situation"

See, the Marshal is on the case and he has the solution, so stop worrying. Chappy then goes into the technical piece of his discussion

"From the beginning, it was explicitly stated the ban (by the EU) was technical in nature. The EU asked Indonesia not to attempt to get around it with other methods (i.e. by lobbying or diplomatic routes) but with technical improvements. However, "technical" in this case refers to nothing less than a series of activities which must be conducted under the direct supervision of the European Union and evaluated every three months."

What !! Chappy, the Stump is with you all the way! How dare those swine suggest that actual technical improvements be made to ensure the safety of airline passengers everyone knows there are "other" methods..sheesh.

"We can't deny there is a lot of "housekeeping" that needs to be done in order to raise the safety standards of our aviation industry, but the European Union should not have acted in such an unwise and uneducated manner."

Too right Chappy, it’s not like they have any proof that Indonesian airline standards and Indonesia's own internal checks are not sufficient anyway. Well there is that pesky Adam Air report, with what was it ? 120 (or was it 129, the Stump forgets) previously reported faults, but hey that was just one plane…and besides the public would have forgotten about that by now (Maybe not the families but hey). Then there was the Mandela plane (Whatever happened to that crash report anyway?). Garuda?? A mere blip, I am sure we all agree. Anyway, it’s not important, what is important is we ensure everyone knows there is nothing wrong with the Indonesia Aviation Industry coz we say so.

Besides who can argue with the Chappy’s next piece of in your face logic.

"And every day, European aircraft pass through Indonesian airspace (managed by the Indonesian Aviation Authority) to reach Australia and New Zealand. Didn't you say that the Indonesian Aviation Authority does not meet Europe's safety standards"

Right on Chappie!

We should caution anyone not to listen to any of those international pilots who will tell you flying into Indonesian Airspace like walking into a biker bar in a bikini, sooner or later something bad is going to happen. As for the rumour that flying into Indonesia Airspace is second only in stress to flying through central Africa, that’s just them racist colonial mongrels (French, Australians, Italians, Japanese, Malaysians, Koreans, Singaporeans..oh ok the whole world except for us).

Oh Chappy, The Stump just loves your solution to the problem of Aviation issues in Indonesia, simple, to the point and so Indonesian.,

"Go to hell with your Ban!" Really that just says it all. that’ll teach the EU a lesson, no more massive inflow of Indonesian Tourist Dollars into the EU. I bet they are having emergency cabinet meetings right now. Also think of the money we will save not having to invest in any “technical” solutions for our Aviation Industry.

On a completely different issue Chappy, may the Stump enquire; where does one find the compositions for boards of directors and others for various industries? Gee wouldn’t that make interesting reading.

Anyway old friend, the Stump has to go as we have a plane to catch. It is Singapore Air Flight (oops) …..Before the Stump departs, we would like commend you on this thought provoking piece. Would it be possible for you to direct us to the public statements of sympathy and compassion you made to the victims of air crashes in Indonesia? As the former chairman of the National Team for the Evaluation of Transportation Safety and Security as I am sure would have written some moving and compassionate pieces holding such a position of responsibility to the people as you do.

By the way, Chappy have you seen this…this just has to be a plot by dem dang JOOWS… Why these buggers are almost suggesting that the aircraft disasters of 2008 could have be forecast by any marginally competent human being


For the benefit of the Stump's really lazy readers (GJ..who lately is writing less posts than the stump for instance)and the fact Jakarta Post Links wear out in about 48Hrs, the Stump has reproduced the JP article below..(it's a sheer classic of Indonesian Government Official Speak)



EU ban: Colonial mindset
Chappy Hakim , Jakarta | Mon, 08/25/2008 11:17 AM | Opinion

It is undeniable that Indonesia's aviation industry is in a bad condition. The accidents which have occurred in the last five years have exceeded acceptable standards. In almost every airline there are deficiencies that are principle in nature.

A lack of discipline, lax licensing restrictions, sloppy management and enforcement of rules, poor education and training within the industry, unauthorized tariffs and the non-existence of a "reward/punishment" system have all contributed to this dire situation.

Inevitably, because of its international nature, the Indonesian aviation situation attracted the attention of the rest of the world. The ICAO (International Civil Aviation Organization) downgraded Indonesia's national aviation level. Meanwhile, Australia, Japan, Saudi Arabia, South Korea and others undertook their own "clarification" and "auditing" of Indonesia's aviation industry.

In 2007, the government took affirmative steps to remedy this by setting up the National Transportation Safety and Security Evaluation Team (KNKT), and changed key personnel including the Transport Minister, Director General of Civil Aviation and others.

These changes sent shockwaves through the industry as players struggled to raise safety levels to meet the "international standard" (in this case the ICAO regulation).

Recently, a ban was issued by the European Union (July 2007 to be precise). Out of the blue, the European Union banned all Indonesian airlines from entering the European continent, but before conducting any independent audits.

In making its decision, the EU reportedly referred to ICAO findings. However ICAO had not put a "ban" in place themselves, but rather had (sympathetically) offered help and assistance for Indonesia to overcome its safety predicament.

The EU arrogantly stated that Indonesia's aviation standards did not meet its own, and to protect its people it would prohibit Europeans from using Indonesian airlines and forbid any Indonesian airlines from entering Europe.

This was a truly unsympathetic act made by a few individuals in the European Union aviation commission. Indonesian airlines are not allowed to fly to Europe, but European airlines still fly to Indonesia and enter Indonesia's airspace -- which according to the European Union is unsafe. What is going on in their heads?

From the beginning, it was explicitly stated the ban was technical in nature. The EU asked Indonesia not to attempt to get around it with other methods (i.e. by lobbying or diplomatic routes) but with technical improvements. However, "technical" in this case refers to nothing less than a series of activities which must be conducted under the direct supervision of the European Union and evaluated every three months.

Thus Indonesia became the European Union's puppet -- a once-every-three-months toy that nearly served up a free spectacle for the international aviation scene. Truly, these were actions that have shamed Indonesia.

We can't deny there is a lot of "housekeeping" that needs to be done in order to raise the safety standards of our aviation industry, but the European Union should not have acted in such an unwise and uneducated manner.

This situation is truly mind-boggling. For example, if an Indonesian airline bought an Airbus (made in Europe) from France. After completing standard procedures, the plane is registered with a "PK" (official international registration for Indonesian aircraft), and immediately the aircraft is not allowed to enter European airspace. Once again, if Indonesia is deemed to be unsafe and Indonesian airlines are not allowed to enter Europe, how is it that European aircraft are allowed to travel to and from Indonesia every day?

And every day, European aircraft pass through Indonesian airspace (managed by the Indonesian Aviation Authority) to reach Australia and New Zealand. Didn't you say that the Indonesian Aviation Authority does not meet Europe's safety standards?

This is typical of a "colonial mindset", which regards the relationship from a "Master and Slave" perspective. There is no mutual respect, no mutual trust and of course no mutual benefit at all.

In facing this problem, the one and only way for Indonesia to respond is just to say, "Go to hell with your Ban!"

KEVIN RUDD - AL GORE LIGHT

If you are having a bad day it's always worth while to poke a disciple of the Church of Gore.

So for today's three questions for the Climate Change Mungbeans

1. Isn't it true that there has been no increase in global warming in the past decade (at best static, most research has shown a drop)

2. Hasn't CO2 emissions increased by more than 5% in the past decade?

3. How does questions one and two go together?

Of course, Climate Change Hysteria although doing absolutely nothing for the environment makes great copy for Political Wankers with no substance. Check out this piece of tomfoolery with taxpayer money, from the worst Prime Minister in Australia History (Ok..that's a bit much, Gough Whitlam will forever hold that title)

"Productivity Commission head Gary Banks had a go this week at the federal Government's decision to give Toyota a $35 million grant from its green car fund to build a hybrid in Australia, saying it would do nothing to help emissions. The $35 million gift seemed to come as a surprise to Toyota, which made a worldwide profit of about $17 billion last year.

Toyota's president Katsuaki Watanabe admitted at the time: "We are not sure in what way we would like to use that amount."

but there's more...

"Industry Minister Kim Carr cancelled a booked trip to the US to fly to Japan for less than 24 hours specifically to join Rudd in announcing Toyota's green gift."

Thank Buggery and for the environment's sake these morons will only last one election cycle.

GOD MAKES ME DO IT

The FILTH are so predictable, the major religious holiday of the year is coming up (not be confused with "lets kill a goat slowly day"), so all the bars and places of entertainment as regularly haunted by the Stump are being raided and closed down by the local authorities.

Gee, the Stump but can wonder if that has anything to do with annual cash “shakedown” (as opposed to the regular monthly shakedown) to fund the uniformed and suited representatives/protectors (sigh) of the people.

The workplace is simply the same at this time of year, as an ever growing line of uniformed and suited two dollar squeezers arrive to plead, extort, cajole, threaten money from anyone or any organisation they imagine they have power over.

Although the Stump has found the purchase of a $20 voice recorder has certainly stymied the majority (Not All) of the outright thieves and scum suckers. The recorder is left in plain site (Sorry guys, company policy) whenever these “gentlemen..sorry human cankers” turn up in the office to discuss whatever non-existent “problem” that they have found and only they can fix. The Stump remains confused by these scum however, surely they must know the sheer and utter contempt raised in others when they going through these criminal charades.

On a personal note, the Stump happened to be partaking of some well earned, liquid refreshment for purely health reasons when Pak Corrupt Plod arrived (along with an decaying smell of filt) to shut down the place based on some fanciful transgression. He and his walking talking canker cohorts succeeded of course and once again demonstrated the bravery and integrity of the people's guardians as they harassed and humiliated the female staff, who were simply doing their job.

Strangely, apart from puffing up and glowing red, they were not that brave when a number of the regular patrons started to comment on the nature of man that gets his jollies abusing women(probably not the safest or wisest things to do but certainly the right thing).

The Stump is sure God fairly beams with pride at the antics of his believers.

Dili has some more on the quaint traditions of the Religious Holiday here

CHINA VS RUSSIA

Speaking of Big Nasties, the Stump bets more than a few European Nations are thinking "OOOPS.... Maybe we should not have sent that Nasty-Gram to America a few months ago" now that Russia is having demented flashbackS and has the sudden urge to crush/kill/destroy their neighbours again.

Should be a real hoot once China starts really flexing her over sized ego as well..

RING RING...RING

"Hello America..Look, About the arrogance crack and those other things we said...well look we seems have some trouble of here, it appears you weren't worst option after all..Hello...Hello....Is anyone there?"

FREE SCHOOLS

How great is this?

Carl over at Friskodude describes a plan where you buy/fund a entire school in Cambodia for $13000USD. The Stump is a naturally cynical bloke but in this case …one can only hope it’s true!

What a simply fantasic idea and one that Indonesia so desperately needs. Of course the trick would be keeping the greedy, sticky fingers that Jakartass so aptly describes here, out of the pie (Make sure you check out his post on greedy local officials). Still all the Stump can say ..is bring it on.

Perhaps we could have a FAIR DINKUM, PESTA BLOGGER to raise funds for something worthwhile instead of the widget and scam men.

Meanwhile the church of climate change zealots has convinced the Australian Goverment(?)and Prime Minister Krudd to spend $46million to study cow farts for carbon taxation purposes..Lets see $46million/13000 = How many schools? and which might actually make a difference in the world?

Mentally and Uniformly Ignorant

Living in Indonesia, one soon learns what is said is rarely the heart or truth of the matter at hand. For instance; PT Lapindo and its owners and timber pulp companies are deserving of an environmental award or equally and becoming more and more absurd "Indonesia is the home of moderate Islam" (stop laughing this is serious!).

The Indonesian Ulemas Council (MUI) is constantly and wrongly proclaimed to be a moderate organisation. As one of the biggest organisations representing Muslims in Indonesia(so they claim, which like everything else they proclaim is probably more to do with their own inflated view of self importance than actual facts), these bunch of backwater religious bullies continually seem to think they have the right to decide how people should or should not live their lives.

Rob over at the Rab experience has the latest irrational, ignorant bullying bilious outburst from one of these self appointed guardians of darkness and prejudice. From the Stump Pulpit “With children starving to death in the provinces, schools that should would be offensive if used to house animals, perhaps its time the holy ignorant pulled their hands out of their pants and looked around at the real problems the people of this nation have to face every day.”

The Stump will let the readers decide which picture represents the evil and ignorant dark underbelly of the society we live in……..




On the subject of the problems in the provinces, expats tend to live a life apart from the problematical decisions and angst that bubble underneath the surface. So when the Stump and stumpettes notice the gathering and mutterings of the clans, things are getting very ugly indeed…..stay tuned..

By the way, the Stump "borrowed" (Stump hopes they don't mind but if they do please let us know and we will remove it) the Beautiful Bali Picture from baliwww. We have not had time to read through the Blog yet but on the surface a bit commercial but certainly looks worth a bit of time..

Depressed?

Aaawww bugger it, the Stump's gunna get the usual drongo abuse and threats after the last couple of posts anyway...

Was depressed last night, rang lifeline. Got a call centre in Afghanistan, told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

and one for the girls (Well the Stump has already pissed off the religious nuts..might as well go the whole hog)


Woman in labour, shouting and screaming as usual, "get this out of me, give me drugs".

She turns to the boyfriend and says "You did this to me you ozzie bastard". He replied casually,

"If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse but you said, "F#ck off it'll be too painful",

Religion is a disease?

"Faith is one of the world's great evils, comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to eradicate." Richard Dawkins

The Stump notes (yet another) terrorist (aka bunch of low lifes) claiming to represent the "Religion of Peace" (wow has that worn so thin it's see thru)has made a video threatening to blow up planes, trains and buses at the Olympics. You know the deal, murder innocents because I can and then I go to heaven?

What a mistake that is!! There will be virtual avalanche of FATWAH's and condemnation from the rest of the Islamic world.........OR NOT..

Meanwhile do take the time to read some of Richard Dawkins stuff. For the Stump and stumpettes it is certainly more rational than some drongo claiming the West is holding their nation back when 1/2 their population is forbidden to drive or show their face in public.

ARMY BASTARDS

Must be the season for the thugs, bullies and corrupt to come crawling out from their pampered ill-gotten nests?

Up in our neck of the woods it must have been Army (although the vast majority of those in uniform, certainly don’t met the Stump's very high regard for the profession of arms) day yesterday. First we had the two bob thugs wandering into our place of work demanding to "borrow" equipment and then when the Stump returns to his humble place of refuge...

Our little “jalan” (street) has been flooded every day for two weeks with raw sewage spilling out from under a brand new house. Besides a health hazard the house is a grotesque bloody thing as well, the poorly fitted marble columns etc etc).


Anyway enough is enough with raw sewage travelling the length of the road when all the kids both kampung and others play, the Stump and PP decided it was time to seek a remedy (Looking back, it was silly to expect a normal human response by the owner to recify such a problem without being pushed)

Finally tracked down the phone number of the "man' who owns this grotesque eyesore. PP rang him and quite politely (much nicer than the Stump would have been)asked him to fix the problem as it was health hazard and was damaging the road and peoples foundations.

The bastards response:

“I am Army and RT (Village Chief) is friend of mine, don’t make trouble for me”

What a prick!

Never the less PP’s response was beautiful

“You Army! Saya Indonesia juga, tidak takut silahkan masalah kapan bertemu. (I am Indonesian as well, not scared of you, when do you want too meet) ..from there a rant that was too fast too follow but no mistaking the intent.

Upshot of all this, apparently the Stump’s humble abode can expect a visit from the Arrogant Army Bastard this Thursday (and invariably, a couple of his mates because bullies always travel in groups), although unbeknown to him the Stump will be there awaiting him. Will be interesting to see if he is just as brave when not just talking to a woman. Although bet you a dollar to a bucket of pig manure, we get the usual ..yawn…threats to have the Stump deported.

As an ex professional soldier for many years, the Stump detests these bullies in uniform who bring nothing but disgrace to the profession of arms. The very first moral imperative of a soldier must be to the protection and care of his nation’s people. Unfortunately far too many lowlifes view the uniform as means to bully, intimidate and enrich their greedy, needy little selves at the expense of the people.

As for the meeting..stay tuned…

Meanwhile ………BASTARDS

Indonesian Corruption

"All for one and All for me"

Poor old GJ seems to be going thru that period that all expats experience after the thrill of the Batik Shirts (How the hell does he wear those hot sweaty things anyway)and novelty value of everyday lunacy wears off.

Underneath the Batik and the crazy drivers lies the more sinister and corrupt worms that ensure the richest and most diverse country in South East Asia will remain a third world country for generations to come.

See GJ's experiences HERE

... the Stump concurs BASTARDS

MUD AND JEWS AND LOGIC LOOPS

HA HA

Too funny for words if you are a foreigner.. really really not funny if you have to live here.

The government has hailed gas exploration company PT Lapindo Brantas for complying with environmental standards set by the government.

The praise came despite Lapindo's drilling activity in 2006 that allegedly caused a protracted mudflow in the East Java town of Sidoarjo. Three villages have been buried and thousands of families displaced by the mudflow.

See the rest of the joke here and do be sure to see the number of listed timber and pulp companies awarded commendations…

The Stump wonders when (if ever) the Indonesian public will tire of being treated with such utter contempt...Ooops sorry I forgot it’s all the fault of the West and dem JOOWS…(See the Second Article also from last Friday's Jakarta Post).



Lapindo praised despite mudflow
Adianto P. Simamora , The Jakarta Post , Jakarta | Fri, 08/01/2008 7:06 AM | Headlines

The government has hailed gas exploration company PT Lapindo Brantas and several other mining giants for complying with environmental standards set by the government.
The praise came despite Lapindo's drilling activity in 2006 that allegedly caused a protracted mudflow in the East Java town of Sidoarjo. Three villages have been buried and thousands of families displaced by the mudflow.
Lapindo joined a group of 180 companies that earned a blue rating in this year's environmental audit results announced Thursday. Other companies included ConocoPhillips Indonesia Ltd., PT Medco EP, PT Pertamina, PT Lippo Cikarang and PT Kawasan Industri Makassar.
Gold mining giant PT Freeport Indonesia, PT Aneka Tambang, PT International Nickel Indonesia and PT Indo Lampung Perkasa fared slightly worse, receiving the minus blue rating for "doing something for environmental management but not reaching the government's standard".
The audits were conducted on 516 companies voluntarily taking part in the environmental performance rating program popularly known as Proper.
The program rates companies gold, green, blue, blue minus, red, red minus or black according to their performance in controlling air and water pollution, following environmental impact analyses (Amdal) and implementing corporate social responsibility (CSR) programs.
For the first time ever the government presented a gold rating, which went to Bandung-based geothermal firm Magna Nusantara, Ltd. The top award was given for the company's massive energy saving efforts expected to cut up to 60,000 tons of carbon emissions.
A total of 46 companies won trophies for achieving green status, exceeding environmental standards set by the government. They included PT Holcim Indonesia, PT Riau Andalan Pulp and Paper Mill, PT Toba Pulp Lestari, Tbk, PT Newmont Nusa Tenggara, PT Chandra Asri, PT Unilever Indonesia, PT Semen Gresik and PT Indah Kiat Pulp and Paper.
State Minister for the Environment Rachmat Witoelar said this year's Proper reflected better environmental conditions with more companies committed to green operations.
He expressed skepticism, however, that no major company had been given a black label.
"I questioned the Proper auditing team about the validity of the ranking, as some big companies which have come under public scrutiny earned a better ranking," Rachmat said.
A black ranking was given to 43 companies, 13 of them for the second time in a row. The worst of the worst have no water or air treatment facilities and no Amdal documents.
Rachmat said the government would sue the 13 companies for ignoring environmental regulations.


Logic Loops anyone...?

West told to cease meddling in Muslim world

Tony Hotland and Muhammad Nafik , The Jakarta Post , Jakarta | Fri, 08/01/2008 11:54 AM | National

Islamic scholars blamed protracted conflicts in the Islamic world on Western countries and incessant disunity among Muslim nations.
The West's perpetual interference in many Muslim states has resulted in enduring domestic strife within them, they said Thursday on the sidelines of the third International Conference of Islamic Scholars (ICIS) in Jakarta.
The scholars urged Western nations to change the pattern of their relations with Islam in order to end the widespread conflicts.
The three-day international conference, attended by some 300 Muslim scholars from 65 countries, is hosted by Nahdlatul Ulama (NU) -- Indonesia's largest Muslim organization -- and will end Friday after the adoption of several key recommendations.
"The main cause for the chaos we see in Muslim countries is the external factor -- the Western interference. In the 19th century, they exploited and made Muslims backward," senior Iranian Muslim scholar Mohammad Ali Taskhiri said at a news conference.
"Western countries chose to stay put even when we gained independence, meddling in our economic and domestic affairs because they wanted to maintain their presence and exploit our natural resources."
Taskhiri pointed out Iran's nuclear program as an example, saying Western countries continued obstructing its efforts to develop the technology for peaceful purposes.
Said Sulaiman Hassan Qeeeq from Palestine and Ali Mahmoud Hassan from Somalia shared Taskhiri's views, saying foreign intervention rendered the Muslim world powerless to stop internal conflicts.
Hassan Qeeeq said the ongoing hostility between Palestine and Israel was not a conflict of religions but rather one between "the colonized and the colonizers", who were supported by Western powers.
"Islam teaches its followers to live peacefully with non-Muslims. So it's a question of occupation by these powers, not a question of Islam and the Jews," he said.
The Islamic scholars, however, acknowledged conflicts also occurred because of internal problems within Muslim communities.
Mahmoud Hassan said there was no unity among Muslim countries on economic or political views.
"Each of us takes our own path, building a unity in views heavily relying on our own national interests," he said.
He added Muslim governments did not fully support Islamic civil society organizations because of the "influence of foreign imperialist states".
They instead focused on developing the political and economic aspects of their Muslim administrations, Hassan said.
Taskhiri concurred, saying these national interests often hampered efforts to unite Muslim countries, and said such interests were mostly concerned with their relations with Western powers.
He added many Muslim countries were still attracted to their Western counterparts, thus always welcoming everything they had to offer.
NU chairman Hasyim Muzadi said the conference was aimed at finding shared ideas among Muslim scholars about the root causes of conflicts and enabling scholars to view them objectively rather than based on their own personal interests.
"We hope scholars can identify aggressions, and can build a defense system against aggressions," he said.
Hassan Qeeeq said the conference was an event to "declare a clear stance against injustice by the Western world" toward Muslim communities worldwide....

The Stump says the above contains so many bizarre, intolerant and truely logic defying statements its worth nothing more than a deep sigh....

Government Wankers

All the Stump has to say is we bloody well concur!

Dear Mr. Minister,
>
> I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
>
> How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows that I bought a Television Set and Golf Clubs from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.
>
> For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?
>
> My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years. It is on my driver's licence, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966.
>
> Also..would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Audrey, my Father's name is Jack, and I'd be absolutely fucking astounded if that ever changed between now and when I drop dead!!!...
>
> SHIT!
>
> I apologize, Mr. Minister. But I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of all this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fucking address!! What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of mindless Neanderthal arseholes workin' there!
>
> And another thing, look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I can't even grow a beard for God's sakes. I just want to go to New Zealand and see my new granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl). And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
>
> Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city, and get another fucking copy of my birth certificate, and to part with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!
>
> Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day?? Nooooo.. That'd be too fucking easy and makes far too much sense. You would much prefer to have us running all over the place like chickens with our fucking heads cut off, and then having to find some high society wanker to confirm that it's really me in the goddamn photo! You know the photo..the one where we're not allowed to smile?! ...you fucking morons
>
> Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen.
>
> P.S Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone in high-society to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since before 1850! In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor. (You do remember the Eureka Stockade!!) I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army something over 30 years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high security clearances.
> I'm also a personal friend of the president of the RSL.. And Lt General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year.
>
> However, your rules require that I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am; You know.. Someone like my doctor; WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN FUCKING PAKISTAN!!!......a country where they either assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers, and are suspended from the Commonwealth for not having the 'right sort of government.'
>
> You are all Fucking idiots

CLIMATE CHANGE CLUNKERS

Still part of the Church of Climate Change Clunkers, you may wish to reconsider before you meekly hand over another $50 an airticket so QANTAS can promise to plant a tree in outer buggermedeadaztan..

Remember the super cyclones that were coming to destroy the east coast of Australia and wash dem meter maids into the great melt.

Ooops here's a quick graph of cyclone activity of the past 30 years or so...Is it the Stump or is the trend...



Speaking of BUGGER..If will be fun watching the explanations of the below sat pictures which show more Arctic Ice than this time last year (should we mention that they are having the coldest year on record up that way..or is that just teasing the disabled again)



The question remains when can we stop these ineffectual intellectual wanks and start putting some of this wasted money to where it can really make a difference to peoples lives and environment. Things like access to clean water, human rights (hard to give a damn about the blue whale, when the bloke next door wants to burn your house down because your GOD wears a different dress to yours or you are stupid enough to insist that your government is accountable to the people (rather than be elected on the strength of their moustache).

CLIMATE CHANGE HOEEE

Some nefarious malcontent contends that the Stump deals in “Hoeee” in particular in regards to Climate Change. The answer is of course, ABSOLUTELY! The Stump is dedicated to self righteous, sanctimonious, unsubstantiated, self indulgent ranting, so in word

The Climate Change line between fact and fiction is so blurred and misleading means the Green Rabids almost qualify as religious deacons (with all the inherent toss that infers) and why shouldn't the stump join in (Will Smith, Tom Cruise please contact the Stump for details where to donate your gazillions and the Stump shall save your soul).

So in that fine tradition of Stump inspired, self righteous ranting, today’s cannon fodder is those fish in the barrel, more commonly known as the rabid greens and leftists of the world.

The Stump actually pities the rabid greenie, it must be tough to suddenly find after all that fighting, protesting, living in trees, having sex with strange smelling and hairy women and destroying other peoples hard earned property not to mention drinking your own urine that nuclear power may well provide perhaps the only viable salve to an over polluted planet.

A recent study to quantity various nations Environmental Performance Index, or EPI was jointly produced by Yale's Center for Law & Environmental Policy and Columbia's Center for International Earth Science. The study concluded that France is one of the least polluting countries on the planet, primarily because over 75% of its electricity needs are provided by Nuclear Power Plants. Interestingly, nearly all countries with a nuclear power industry scored well on the EPI (ok Russia didn’t, but sinking nuclear subs in the city harbours generally lowers the EPI score, although it makes the fish easier to catch).

What our dear anti nuclear greenies always fail to point out is, a large number of countries with nuclear power provide power to those bludger nations who semi-subsist on the myths of solar and wind energy. Personally the stump finds those nations on a par with those particular nasty people who refuse to have their children immunised. These losers are more than happy for others to take the (granted minimal) risk whilst basking in the protection and comfort that mass immunisation provides.

The Stump was stunned to learn of the obscene amount of subsidies, tax credits and mandatory buy backs that are required to support the “non polluting” options. Buy backs as a matter of interest is where the government mandates an artificially high and unsustainable price that ‘regular’ power utility companies must buy back the excess power on the irregular and odd occasion the wind blows more than usual.

Of course, it always escape the notice of the mungbeans that government subsidies actually means ripping more money out of the pockets out of those who actually work for living. Germany alone spent $6 billion dollars in artificial subsidies on mungbean power and still the European Union failed to meet any carbon emission targets. The Stump cannot help but think how much clean water $6 billion dollars could provide to the worlds poor.

The wholesale embrace of “Nuclear is evil, oil is evil – bio is good” green mantra (Ok you can throw in the odd death to America, kill the joows for a change every so often if you feel the need) has led to the major destruction of rain forests and ruination of millions of hectares of previously productive agricultural land. The resultant escalation of staple food prices and starvation in the worlds poorer regions has come about all in the name of a “greener planet”. Don't expect any sympathy from the Loony Greens however, they are past masters of self denial and unintended consequences.

To be fair, genetically a rabid leftist or greenie requires a very short memory to exist. To drift off topic for a moment, One has to wonder where the Leftists have gone in regard to Zimbabwe or should we say Rhodesia, the left’s support of Mugabe and his ilk was absolute and pathetic in the homage paid to this racist, murdering bastard). I have yet to see any of them tying themselves to public buildings in Zimbabwe "for the people".

Tired of listening to the high pitch whining and screaming from the self - righteous left and rabid greens, the more rational humans are left weary of the Anti US/West mantra regards to the environment with nary a word about the elephant/s in the room. Those elephants go by the name India, China and Indonesia, king polluters all. The significant difference being the pollution and destruction they bring about translates very little in lifting their people out of poverty and despair.

Koyoto was/is a classic example of new age wank supported and rewarded environmental vandals at the same time attempting to beggar the very nations who may actually end up providing the technological solutions to some of our environmental problems.

Like it or not, you do have to love the new religion of “CLIMATE CHANGE". High priest Gore remains the icon of choice and high priest of doom for our rabids, to which none may question. Despite the ever mounting evidence against his film (not documentary, most rational humans would agree that a documentary should be based on fact) of biblical disasters.

The best piece of CC devotee logic is when a devotee is presented with the fact that the world climate temperature has been falling since 2002, that fact is dismissed as a “blip’ and the disaster will continue as normal shortly and just proves the robustness of the model. Now if negative evidence to theory is to co opted to prove the model, what exactly does it take to make the devotees question God Gore and his minions. It does remind one of the back flips and twists all of our major religions have gone though as science exposed their myths and fantasies one by one. Never the less the gullible and weak minded still cling to their dreamtimes and Gods of small spaces, rationalising every discovery into their beliefs rather than face the world on its own terms.

Back to big AL, how many times can we show the same falling chuck of ice, drowning bear or waves washing up on that poor little villager? Problem is five years ago, as we were bombard with the poor villager show we were assured within five years the seas would have risen ½ meter (ok some said 2m but lets not tease the disabled) higher than now…OOPS..hasn’t happened..bugger! That poor villager has probably realised by now and long before the rabids, that it is not a good plan to keep animal cages in areas prone to King Tides.

The Stump also notes that the Rabids tend to brush over the fact that whilst the Artic ice may be retreating, the South Pole ice fields are increasing in depth and spread and have continued to do so over the last ten years (which will kinda bugger up, the rising seas calamity).

Oh the headaches of being a leftist green. Pity them for they need our help.

Oh a couple of other interesting things that fell out of the Yale-Columbia project. On a scale of one to hundred on forest protection, Brazil who has traditionally been blamed as the villain in forest destruction scored 86. Indonesia achieved yet another infamous first and managed a well deserved “0”.

Disclaimer - The above should in no way be read as support for the proposed Indonesian Nuclear Power Plant piece of insanity. A government needs to be able to at least drill a hole in the ground, stops its capital city from flooding every year and killing its citizens or fly a national airline safely before moving onto reasonably technical things like Nuclear Power

TERMINAL DECISIONS

It seems GJ has started a bit of a blue with his dismissal
of an errant driver. A relatively common theme being thrown around revolves around some quaint cafe socialist view of the world and the exploitation of an underclass. Which is amusing as often the comments often expose a degree of snobbery by the sanctimonious "Ches" leaving the comments.

No one is denying that some bosses are arseholes and the whole workers obligations and rights thing is a complete buggers muddle in Indonesia (notice we did include obligations, it’s a two way street). However, to assume that working as domestic help is a job choice to be pitied shows a complete misunderstanding of what real life is like for many people in this country (personally the Stump finds the profession of accountants and money men far more pitiful, after all they only parasite from the real work that others have achieved).

There is not enough work for everyone in Indonesia, nor realistically will there be in any foreseeable future. If by employing a maid/driver/gardener some of the wealth is kept locally and just perhaps that money allows the next generation to achieve even a modicum of higher chooling then that has to be a good thing.

Stump stands to be corrected, but is willing to suggest that most Australian Expatriates (this will bring in the crows) influenced by the fairly class less culture tend to treat their employees on fairly informal basis and if would be rare for an employee to be exploited as such.

The Stump regularly gets the sh*ts with the self righteous arseholes who wander through the airport for instance, proclaiming loudly “I don’t need anyone to carry my bag, I am not going to exploit the poor bastards”. Bloody drongos, what does he think the “poor bastard” is going to do if he doesn’t make any money as a porter .. Pop down to the nearest unemployment office and collect a cheque.

Having said that, the Stump like GJ is astounded that some people once locked into a secure and (relatively) well paying job, will then jeopardise the whole thing out of sheer stupidity. Company Stump recently sent a very young, very bright Indonesian (lets call him Bright Spark or BS for short) to Australia for a series of courses. It was made very clear to BS that a new product line was coming into the country and he was to be the guru of all things in that product line and the potential was there for him to reach very senior management. Sure enough, the “live for today” mental trap kicked in and he was caught selling spares of company equipment to a rival company for the sake of a couple of Rp. Shocked and horrified when he was terminated and police were called (ah the police investigation, that’s another story) he lost the job and will never be employed by another expatriate company in the region for wait for it…5 million Rp.

Now the self appointed advocates out there, will say for only 5 million. Give him another chance. Screw that! Company paid for his families hospital stays when they were sick, paid a good wage, paid thousands for international courses and gave him a future that less than 20% of Indonesians will ever see. Basic Trust and honesty was all that was required in return a fair contract and he broke it.

Although to be fair consequences and action –reaction often don’t seem to a consideration to large proportion of the population. Witness the acts of your local motorcycle riders “I ride like lunatic, on the wrong side of the road and don’t look left or right then…SPLAT.” is not a thought pattern that comes naturally.

Another example:

Several years ago, I was staying in a home stay in Kupang, nice Christian family (little weird, like all god botherers but nice). One day the two teenagers in the house come to my room

Them “Hey you wanna come and see where (we) burnt the Muslims houses last night”?

Stump “Eeer Ok”

Yep sure enough a dozen plus houses burnt to the ground and on the way back home

Stump… “Why did they (you) burnt their houses”

Them ….. ‘Because they burnt our church”

Stump… “Mmm Ok”

But it gets better.. ten minutes later we pass a remarkably unburnt church

Stump… “Huh// I thought you said they burnt your church”

Them… Sheepishly “Someone said they did”

But wait gets even better…

About a week later, everyone is sitting around the table and the conversation starts with everyone complaining that the price of fish has tripled and is now a luxury item

Stump… “Hang on..Weren’t those houses that were burnt the homes of the fishermen (as well as being Muslims, it was a fisher village)”

Them.. “Yes why do you ask” ..puzzled looks what’s this bule on about..

Stump “Well if you burn the fisherman's houses then it stands to reason….ah forget it” wandering off down the pub for a fishless dinner..

Consequences …………………… They are a bastard with a life of their own.

HUMAN POPCORN

Have not been sleeping well at the Stump. Perhaps like Will (The richer I get, the nuttier I am) Smith, we are searching for the answers to life’s trick questions:

Is Will Smith a Scientologist and why should we care?

Why is the opinion of two minute human popcorn actors so valued?

Where are the Loony Leftists and peaceniks traveling to Zimbabwe and tying themselves to polling booths to ensure freedom and the rights of Zimbabweans.

Why do the loons only act like leftist moronic peanuts when the US is involved?

Speaking of hypocrites, how many Muslims died in the Sudan this week and what was net reaction of the Muslim world?

Is it because they are Black Muslims that nobody gives a rats?

Who actually believes the demonstrations in Jakarta and the recent harassment of minorities/ethnic groups in Indonesia is not part of a wider political agenda?

Who in Indonesia does not know the puppet master and why do Indonesians fall for this game time and again?

Who else thinks it’s morally and intellectually repugnant to have a stinking rich bastard on a Climate Change Committee when thousands of people are being forced from their homes due to his mad (man) made ecological disaster?

Oh well back to sleep……zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

JUDGEMENT DAY AND MONKS

There seems to be an insidious plot to unearth the Greenstump’s devious and hidden dark side and its fun watching all unfold. As far as dark sides go the Stump figures come Judgement Day, the stump won’t even be in the fast lane.

Judgement Day is one of the many dubious pieces of faith that both Christianity and Islam have in common. Now the Stump prefers to think that GOD is the bloke or blokette that lives in those places between ignorance and science. Never the less (always good to have a dollar each way), on the off chance the Stump is wrong, the Stump takes comfort in the Judgement Day Priority line theory.

Come the day in question,

All Powerful Bloke/Blokette, APB for short (You know the merciful one who casts us naughties into the pit of flames or whatever is the cultural equivalent)

APB “Ah Stump nice to see you could make it but we will have to deal with you later”

Stump “Eer APB.. I can explain the hamster and the tape, honest”

APB “Stump are you serious, we won’t get to your pathetic attempts of naughty for another gazillion years. Now did you happen to see that bloody Singing General, an overly rich bastard with mud on his shoes or anyone of those lying sons of bitches who have had the gall to kill, murder and beat in my name.

Stump “Yep over there (what did you expect the stump to say sheesh)”

APB “Ok you sit over there in the waiting room and don’t stick the pages of the Hustler together and I will get to you in another eternity or so. If you see a wacker running around in funny hat and purple dress telling people it’s a sin to use condoms, tell him I am looking for him as well”

POLAR BEARS AND TREES DON'T MIX

If you want some fun reading pop across to see the Polar Bear and Treespotter slugfest. Not withstanding the Bears strange need to “Glass” someone (must be a Bear or Scot thing?)the Stump thinks Tree is on hiding to nothing on this one, Blaming the thieving colonials for all our sins really has not held water since Japan and Korea got up and running after being blown all the way back to the stone age.

Of course, it probably just the cynical Stump, but Stump does find a delightful irony whenever Jakartaite complains about colonialism and the damage and hurt caused imposing a "foreign" culture on others.

Finally, in keeping with the Religous Theme.

The Stump came across this interesting little fact today



LAS VEGAS CATHOLIC CHURCHES ACCEPT GAMBLING CHIPS

THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS , BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.

NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.

SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS..

THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.


THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.


YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING DID YOU?






AND HAS ANYONE SEEN THE STUMP'S HANDPHONE!

OUT SOURCING RISKS N REWARDS

Well it would appear that sub-contracting rants is not without it’s complications.

The Stump should perhaps clear a couple of things up, firstly when I said The Ranter needs to get more personal, I was suggesting that perhaps the “Ranter” should nominate the blogger that generated such a post. As it turns out there a more than few that are provoked by the Ranter and they obviously mistook “personal” for descriptions of family relations (bastards, sob etc) and suggestions for sexual diversions (one of which is I am not sure is even possible, certainly gross). So you will understand that not all comments made the grade. Rima’s suggestion for government improvements certainly had some merit though(you will have to ask her).

Secondly, Jakartass takes issue with the Stump for sub-contracting rants, which is a trifle harsh as its part of the KITAS thingy. All foreigners are to provide opportunity for foreign employee positions to be replaced by Indonesians (Can anyone really tell us, where the $1200 per KITAS really goes?)

Anyway, it’s starting with a life of its own now so we can all sit back and watch
(What a shame I don’t sell widgets on this site)

Have good weekend all…

THE RANTER DATANG

A surprise for all, the Stump has an anonymous guest blogger. Although in the fine (or not so) traditions of the Greenstump perhaps we should say a guest “Ranter”.

All the Stump is at liberty to say is “The Ranter” is fair dinkum, ridgy-didge, true blue Indonesian. Annoyed at those who continually criticise Indonesia (that would be the Stump) but more importantly, the ranter is positively livid at those Indonesians who have the education, money and skills to change Indonesia for the better, but who decide to travel overseas and come back with nothing but negatives about their home country.

So it is with great pleasure the Stump introduces “THE RANTER”



Being an (not so) Indonesian


This is when I normally came up when feeling rather troubled and down.
Getting really pissed over people who can’t seem to appreciate where they came from. And usually, yes people, usually these sort of comments (assume this refers to the heading above that what used on another blog someplace..stump) come from those who had lived not really far from Indonesia, not long enough to feel how they suffer without the sun showering their days the way it is in Indonesia.

Brag. First, they’ll brag about how organized it is in other countries. People queue, people line of for tube tickets, people line up for vending machines. Then they’ll continue bragging on how blue the sky is on the other side of the world, compare to the polluted Indonesia (mind how they mix Indonesia with Jakarta!!). Not enough? Then, they’ll brag about how good the manners of people abroad compare to the smileful Indonesians. Hmmph. I hope you do spot some anomaly in my last sentence.
Unless you have traveled to all thirteen thousands something islands in Indonesia, do not say that our country is worse than a piece of small island formed off a country in Europe.

Unless you have seen and touched paddy fields in your life, do not say that the air in Indonesia is polluted and people are building malls everywhere.
Unless you have slept on some part of sandy beaches in Western part of Indonesia, do not say that our beaches are abandoned.

You can’t say that Jakarta represents Indonesia in general. Surely if you only see Jakarta (and all other big cities) you might want to have that impression. But have you thought of going to another side of the Indonesia’s world? Try going down under the water, snorkel, dive, then you’d forget about all of the malls in Indonesia, for that matters. Try climbing the mountains or even a small hill, then you’ll forget about how bad the traffic is everywhere in Jakarta.

I just simply don’t understand why people with so little knowledge decided to generalize everything about something they don’t even know.
It is like one blind person trying to explain how an elephant looks like while holding only its ear.
Sad. Well, pathetic to be exact.


Stump..All in all not a bad rant..although lacks the personal touch...Someone has set the Ranter off and we shall endeavour to track down the cause of such venom and let the blog war begin.. Meanwhile the Stump is off to find an Elephants Ear.

MONKEYS ON WHEELS

Morons, Idiots, Monkeys on Wheels..

What kind of drop kick, useless flog-guts do they allow to drive in this bloody country. Isn’t there any kind of license test, stupid corrupt bastards!

What kind of moron would you have to be to miss a turn on a busy main road, put your car straight into reverse and slam into the car behind you, without once checking your revision mirror..

Oh OOOPS BUGGER BUM AND BASTARD… That would be the Stump.. Please insert “Stump” into all of the above boxes


A CORRECTION ON STOLEN GENERATIONS POST… Apparently there has now been “one” case of the stolen generation that has stood up in court although currently under appeal.

POST TURTLES & DEWI

The Stump was not going to do another Prime Minister Krudd post as there is only so much you can do with an empty space. However, we were sent a post turtle email which aptly describes the current ratbag occupying the Prime Minister position in Australia.

POST TURTLE

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old South Australian Wheat Farmer, whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Prime Minister Rudd and his pathetic excuse for a government. The old farmer said, "Welllll, Rudd is a 'Post Turtle'.

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'Post Turtle' was. The old farmer said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'Post Turtle'." The old Farmer saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain. "You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he is up there, and you just wonder what kind of a galah put him up there in the first place!.

Speaking of Galahs (Galah - noisy, colourful Australian parrots not known for their intelligence and generally considered a pest). Normally the stump has a lot of time for Indonesian Journalist Dewi Anggraeni, however she was well and truly caught out recently whilst commenting on the Australian Stolen Generations issue.

Falling for the high profile, media induced but total beat up of the so-called Stolen Generations, she was taken to task by a reader for adding to the "spin of the stolen generations story" when a reader suggested that she might have interviewed say..five members of the stolen generations.

This was a bit sneaky by the reader, as he full well knew as would anyone who has done a modicum of research, she would not find any genuine cases. The Australian Loony Left has been trying for the last ten years to find just one case that would stand up as a class action without success but some simply hugely embarrassing failures

Now this would not normally be a problem and no one could blame Dewi for falling for this particular piece of revisionist history rubbish as it has claimed any number of gullible victims (Tell the same lie often enough it becomes the truth..who said that?).

Where Dewi falls from the Stump's graces, is when challenged on why she didn't actually do some research and interview some of the "Stolen Generations" , Dewi replies "I did indeed interview members of the stolen generations"

Dewi..Dewi..Dewi.. Just because some says they are something doesn't make it so. No court in Australia nor the combined forces of the looney left have managed to come up with a bone fide case so do you really expect us to believe you did? Come on, fess up...

Trouble is, once you are caught out once, everything else you want to say is suspect...TSK TSK TSK ..or ask the new Australian Minister for plastic bags Peter Garret

OIL PRICES, RACISTS AND ARSEHOLES

Bizarre, We have come through the "Battle of Insipid Bean-Counters" with the business surviving although swallowing up another division along the way. Casualties were limited to the jobs of number of other expats in the other loss making division, leaving the stump as sole “foreign survivor" in the now joined companies(further proof that the prayers of the faithful and vindictive don’t matter). Although others will fall as the new culture of accountability and actually being required to produce rather than just sit and shit are introduced.

A much bigger organisation now although no-where near as profitable, so the search was on for a Human Resources Director. Interview Time duly came and with some “seemingly” high quality candidates. Process was we explain our company and its values (bruised but still standing after the battle with the morally devoid IBCs). You would think such things that would give a hint to a prospective candidate of what should be said? Such values identified as critical were; promotion is on merit not length of service, gender, religion, age, ethnic group are to have no bearing on hiring or promotion.

Further discussion was held on the need to be able to communicate carefully what is required to the workers as little miscommunication tend to get out hand quickly in Indonesia.

Then came the time for our prospective candidate to explain what he could bring to the company. He explained he was very sensitive and skilled at communication as he had spent considerable time in Papua. "It was very difficult there...Blah Blah" at which point he leaned over and whispered “As you know Mr, the only good Papuan is a dead one but we couldn’t do that” At which point, the Stump leaned across and said “Interview is over”

In an amusing addition to the above story, we received a letter on Friday from the “dropkicks” legal advisor (?) today threatening to take us to court as we had discriminated against him on the basis of his religion. We have written back advising we have requested a hearing in court next month and hope he can attend ..oh and we have requested the case be heard in Papua (we haven’t of course, but the stump was helpless in the desire to mock in the face of such nasty stupid)…Bloody Bottom Feeders annoy us!

On the other updates, Prime Minister Krudd continues to expose the left wing of Australia as vacuous as their international cousins. Yet further signs of just how shallow and hollow little weasel is was demonstrated when he tried cosying up to those unrepresentive, intolerant FATWA issuing, self serving galahs, know locally as the M*I. Little Kruddy was out of his depth (anything above 2cm from base morals puts him out his depth) and has all the class of a soggy wet end cigar end. Did anyone else feel like vomiting as this twerp offered scholarships to the all-knowers of Allah's Will? As an aside, we ain't religious at the Stump but if you know God's will doesn't that make you a GOD as well?

Speaking of smoking (actually soggy cigar ends but anyway..), did you happen to see the elitist, privileged morons writing to the paper about those evil smokers at the same time the papers are full of reports of children starving to death in the most resource rich nation in South East Asia. A 100 Years of Awakening indeed, perhaps an awakening for ten minutes would help! One could ask when will we awake and say “ENOUGH” and demand some accountability from the obscene pigs with their noses so deep in the trough they cannot see their own people suffering.

Other big news this month is “Fuel Prices”. Interestingly, none of our rabid green friends (you remember them, the bio fuel disaster freaks and supporters) have owned up to the fact, the fuel prices you are seeing now are nothing as to what will happen if the green freaks and intellectually challenged politicians get their way with the fools dream of carbon and emission trading. Although one should never be surprised at the duplicity and hypocrisy of the Rabid Greens.

On the plus side, the ever increasing higher prices will force countries like the USA and Australia to become far more fuel independent (yes it will still be oil, perhaps squeezed greenies as an additive though.) Once the cash life line of the sand cultists dries up (pun intended), the export of hate from the Sand Cultists will fall back into irrelevance as God (tee hee) intended.

Meanwhile, on the plus side the high fuel prices have driven down the price of the STUMPS latest order. A new throbbing .5.4 Litre, 8 Cylinder Ford Falcon FG8 will be the Stump’s latest contribution to providing penguins with chance to enjoy weather without a jumper like the rest of us. Although, it won’t be ready for few months as it Stump is still playing with SPV for some additional tricks.

BTW..Anyone know where we can find a good technically minded, operations manager?

THE LAST WORD.. This month's silliest headline "RI sends full medical team and logistical aid to China" perhaps they should them to Kupang Indonesia where the death toll of children from starvation is over two dozen and climbing.

Which gives us our two nominations for Arsehole of the Month award:

Nomination One:

An official asked about the dead children was quoted as saying

"It's the parents fault, they are ignorant and don't know how to nourish their children"

Nomination Two:

A pond scum dweller writing in to The Jakarta Post (paraphrased, look it up yourself) "I am sorry to say the government should not provide education assistance to poor people they don't deserve it"

KEVIN RUDD HUMAN-LITE

The Stump noticed the new Australian Prime Minister Kevin “earwax” Krud popped into Indonesia for about 20 minutes the other day. Bizarrely the Indonesian Press made quite a fuss about it (relatively), routinely commenting on new beginnings and stronger ties with new Asia friendly ties.

Actually we should not be surprised, Krud is about as close to atypical Javanese politician as you will get. Excessively polite, plenty of style and not a cracker of substance in anything said.

Let’s review some of the highlights of this over promoted dog-catcher:

• Went on pilgrimage to the Hiroshima Shine. The Stump wonders if he offered to accompany the Japanese Prime Minister on a tour of the Sandakan Death March locations or perhaps mention it might be time to acknowledge the Japanese use (abuse) of Asian Comfort woman during World War 2.

• Signed the Kyoto Treaty in a classic display of no substance Australia could cease all economic activity right now and make less than ½ per cent change to CO2 to the environment whilst countries like Indonesia, China and India as major polluters (all jockeying for top five positions) have absolutely no obligation (or desire) to take any responsibility for the criminal abuse of their own eco-systems.

• Proposed a regional Euro-Union ..oops sorry SE Asia union..classic!! Don’t we have a very effective one of those. The Stump will have to check with Burma on that.

We were gunna do a post on "BLUE ENERGY" but that was too easy...and we couldn't stop laughing...Psst...The stump has a good lead on Sydney wanting to sell the Harbour Bridge..for a small upfront commission (say $250,000) we could steer the contract your way................

Well that’s today’s rant from us LAZY BASTARDS..

WE'RE BACK!!!!!!!!

Some one famous (or was it Guru Bob) once said “If a tree falls in the forest and no-one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?” or updated “If the Stump does not post does any one notice?”

Well the Stump is back although battle worn and bruised. Suffice to say the war of accountants has ended (here on know as the War of the Poses). Upsetting to some but the Stump and the loyal team of Stumplets have survived, a number of people in the “other” organisation have fallen on the sword of accountability.

Of course, a few more are to fall yet as the changing of the culture of the newly absorbed organisation begins (no, marking up supplier invoices by 10% and sharing the extra does not qualify you as a “self starter”).

The Stump notes Indonesia has got along fine without us (who needs one more fool in our quaint little circus). Our resident bottom feeders the FPI (Fantastically Pathetic Idiots) quickly disproved the myth that Religious Nut Bags are provoked into thuggery and terror by Western Attitudes as they attacked innocent people in central Jakarta with nail impregnated bamboo poles. The Stump has always stood in sheer awe of the morons who blithely state that Australia’s participation in Iraq increased the risk of terror attacks. Of course, the fact that the Bali bombings took place before Iraq escapes these web-footed, simple minded apologists for thugs. The FPI demonstrated once and for all that a moron and his religion will always find someone to hate.

Other news a new international study found with 99% certainty that the Brothers GRIM were responsible for flooding thousands of villages out of their homes. Hands up, who didn’t know that already..Ok Hands Down Mr B.. Money only buys the written truth in Indonesia not the real truth.

An Indonesian clergyman (who cares what his name is.. Father ILIEALOT or something) proved the church has learnt nothing from its shameless support of the NAZI’s by declaring that there was no problem with Religious Tolerance in Indonesia. One can only wonder what colour is the sky in his world?

The Junta over in Burma is still proving the ASEAN principles of inducing change in the “Asian Way” is a roaring success expect for the stench of rotting bodies but at least we remain polite about it.

Ok enough rants for one day..its gooooooddddddd to be back (that’s good not GOD)

OFFENSIVE BASTARDS

Hey There..

Like we didn't know that would happen; had the resident moron commenting rudely that my previous picture was offensive and he/she/it was going to report the Stump..

The official Stump response Screw You Pinhead! You would not know offensive if it crawled up your pants and bit you on the arse!

we have friend from Burma who has been lucky enough to create a life for themsleves outside the clutches of insane leaders of that country. We sent them an email offering condolences, thought our readers might like to read the response:

"feel like shooting the fucking chinc foreign policy for interfering by exercising their Veto vote UN in support of Junta's decision to disallow the aid workers into Burma, but when the shits hit the fan in their country, they are begging everyone to come in and help. China is making so much money and getting much needed energy supply out of Burma and dumping its unsafe and inferior goods into Burma and as long as the junta remains in power in Burma, china is laughing. arseholes really.

and of course XXXXXX all them generals..."

And pinheads have the nerve to say that a picture of stunningly attractive girl is offensive. The stump agrees with our Burma mate, those stinking generals are offensive, along with self centered, bastard nations who have the gall to pretend they are civilised and then support the Junta are highly offensive (and do look up Indonesia's stunningly pathetic stance on the Junta as well).

Can hardly wait for the day when the galahs get their way and America decides enough abuse and leaves China as the sole power in SE Asia. Wankers All!

FREE MONEY NO RISK

Wooo Hoooo...

The Stump has hit the big time.. its beaches, bears and bare bums from here on in..
Check out the beach I am retiring too. Its ok the barely tolerant and irrational need not get offended, its not an Indonesian Beach (see no Plastic Drink Bottles on the sand)

Because you are my loyal readers and I know you can keep a secret...here's a copy of my good fortune

"
( READ CAREFULLY AND KEEP SECRET)

Dear friend,
/>
I know that this message will come to you as a surprise. I am Dr Amudu Adams personal
Assistant to the Branch Manager of Bank Of Africa(BOA)Ouagadougou Burkina
Faso. I want to inquire from you if you can handle this transaction for mutual
benefits/life opportunity for you and me. The transaction is about seeking your consent to present
you as the next of kin/ beneficiary of the US$7.3 MILLION DOLLAR, ,(SEVEN MILLION,THREE HOUNDRED
THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS), and who is a customer to the bank where i work.

He
was involved in the December 25th 2003 class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1210155166_2" style="CURSOR: hand; BORDER-BOTTOM: #0066cc 1px
dashed">Benin plane crash, with his family during their vacation journey . The Fund
is currently in a suspense account awaiting claim, the bank made a public notice that they are
ready to release this fund to any of his relatives abroad.


THEREFORE, by virtue of its nature as being utterly CONFIDENTIAL, top secret
should be maintained please!,because i am still in the active service i do not need any form of
implication especially now I'm in the verge of my retirement to endanger my career at last!.
/>
Since we got the information about his death, we have been
expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it unless
some body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking
guidelines and laws.

In that regard, i decided to seek your consent for this
prospective opportunity. Have it at the back of your mind, that the transaction does not involve
any RISK, and does not need much engagement from you, since i am familiar with this kind of
transaction being an insider.

Necessary modalities will be worked out to enable us
carry out the fund claim under a legitimate arrangement. I have resolved to offer you 30% of the
total fund, 10% for sundry expenses that may be incurred during the process of executing this
transaction and 60% percent for me.FOR SECURITY PURPOSE I WILL LIKE YOU TO CONTACTS ME IN MY
PRIVATE E-MAIL ADDRESS =class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1210155166_3">color="#003399">:dramudu_adams123@yahoo.fr

I will give you more
details about the transaction when I receive your affirmative response,more clarification
information.Please I would like you to keep this proposal as a top secret and delete it if you are
not interested.

I'm waiting to hear from you soon.

I
look forward to your earliest response
Regards and
thanks,

Dr Amudu Adams

Well Doctor Flog Guts.. I hope thousand emus raced into your backyard and kick ya dunny down..Although to be fair you are only a maggoty beginner when it comes to scams..We have the Indonesian Idol of Scams in this country looking after peoples welfare..Ya Brothers Grim and the mud pack kids..

BTW...Did anyone ever keep the address of the scam busters web site that Indocoup had before the forces of darkness overwhelmed him.

How to cook an Accountant

Sheesh..It’s been a tough few weeks and battling the accountants has been like a scene from day of the Triffids, but we are hanging in there with not a few scalps under our belts.

Achieved a new Indonesian Airline Record, eight Lion air flights and was delayed nine times! (only in Indonesia, sick of being delayed, paid business class with another dodgy airline only to be delayed because a Lion Airline plane was broken and blocking the entrance to runway..BUGGER). Fair Dinkum and these Wackers want to run a nuclear power-plant, the mind boggles (glows?).

Still was nice to see the forces of tolerance and freedom of religion doing their bit for the Indonesia, Nothing like the burning of a place of worship and the homes of women and children to prove your devotion to GOD (although chucking children and virgins down the mouth of fiery volcanos would definitely bring back the crowds, seems an opportunity missed considering the number of volcanos just waiting for the tolerant in this country).

The Stump’s mate, Rob from the Rab Experience comment on the East Timor Post that the Indonesian version of history was not surprising and he is of course quite correct. Bizarre would be a term that springs to mind.

Although, the Stump is also surprised and the blinkered view that the Western Liberal Love Duds take on the “Freedom Fighters” they certainly were no slouches in the lets treat people like animals stakes.

Onto more recent news, nature’s fury in Burma has exposed the absolute myth pushed by ASEAN nations that the third way “sssshhh don’t offend anyone” because the Asian way is better.

Of course, Stump has always had an issue with the world’s wanker nations huffing and puffing about the US and its evil GITMO prison etc. The simple fact is the worst conditions in an American Prison don’t hold a candle to the injustices and abuse that occur in the accusing nations (Indonesia included, although only if you are poor).

It’s not so much that the US has GITMO because on the scale of 1-10 in evil it rates a 1 compared to the other ratbags, we are just disappointed that the US lowered its standards to float at the edges of that particular cess pool.

Have fun.

Today’s Recipe.

Take one beady eyed, inbred, buck toothed, accountant.
Skin thoroughly, add spices to taste
Lower slowly into a boiling pot (don’t worry about the screams that’s just the air escaping)
Through in one leather safety boot (REDWING is best), same pot
Boil until Boot is soft
Once Boot is soft, remove accountant
Throw away accountant and eat boot (there is no residual nourishment in accountants dead or alive)